From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZRIEH7fW8Gk

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

in one of the soup does it says very

clearly how you act for yourself it

doesn't matter what anybody else says or

does they said if somebody comes at you

whether it's timely or untimely whether

what they're saying is true or untrue

whether they're saying it with

loving-kindness or they're saying it

with anger you need to remember that

your mind is the thing that causes you

pain the Buddha said that you need to

take that person when they say something

in a rough way or an untimely way or in

a harsh way or even if they're angry and

not respond negatively to that other

person you use that other person as a

reminder to radiate loving and kind

thoughts and you radiate that to that

person and then you start radiating

loving-kindness to the whole world to

all beings if you can live like that you

will have a happy life you won't have oh

they said this and I didn't like it and

the gossip that goes along with that

sort of thing they said this and it

wasn't true and being angry at them

because they said something that wasn't

true you don't pay attention to that so

much you send loving and kind

thoughts to that person do you want to

affect the world around you in a

positive way or a negative way it's your

choice how you affect the world around

you you want to affect the world around

you in a positive way there are some

things that you need to practice and it

does take practice you need to learn how

to smile now before I go too much

further I see a lot of people sitting

with their arms crossed like this this

is called a thinking posture you're not

paying attention when you're thinking

please uncross your arms and don't sit

with your legs crossed either there are

some the Buddha told the monks that

there are some things that we have to be

careful of when people are coming and

listening to the Dhamma and this is one

of the things you want to practice

listening to the Dhamma with an open

heart when you're like this it closes

and you start thinking thinking thinking

not paying attention so when you uncross

your arms and uncross your legs you

become open and you hear clearly what is

being said now getting back to what I

was talking about if you practice

smiling all day all the time your

mindfulness will become very good and

very sharp when you have joy in your

mind from smiling your mind is uplifted

your mind is clear and it's very easy to

see when your mind gets heavy and you

start thinking seriously about things so

the more you can practice smiling during

the day whether you feel like smiling or

not then you will begin to have an

uplifted mind that's what the buddha was

teaching us he said if you want to have

a happy mind there's four things that

you need to do this is called the for

right efforts you have to notice when

your mind has unwholesomeness in it

what's unwholesome emotional states

dislike states unhappy States notice

when that happens let go of that

unwholesome state and relax the

tightness in your mind caused by that

unwholesome state bring up a wholesome

state

what's a wholesome state smile the more

you can smile the more wholesome your

mind becomes and keep that wholesome

state going all the time there's another

thing that is incredibly helpful and I'm

sure that not too many people really

hear about this sort of thing and that

is when you are sad or angry or fearful

or dissatisfied whatever they the catch

of the day happens to be the emotional

state that arises when you see that and

you

laughs with yourself for being caught by

that attachment you're not caught

anymore when you laugh with yourself for

being angry you are not angry anymore

it goes from I'm mad and I don't like

this

- it's only this anger well what happens

when you do that

you're losing your attachment what is

attachment how do you see attachment how

do you recognize it when it comes up the

second noble truth the Buddha talked

about is the cause of suffering we all

know about the first noble truth we

don't have to talk about that too much

although an awful lot of monks likes to

talk about that but what's the cause of

this and nough Buddha said the cause of

suffering is craving what is craving how

can you recognize craving when it comes

into your mind craving always manifests

as tension and tightness in your mind

and in your body when you notice that

you're sad depressed angry whatever it

happens to be that emotional state

you'll notice that there's a lot of

tension in your head how many people

give themselves headaches because they

don't like this painful feeling when it

arises more than a few almost everybody

gives themself headaches how does it

happen

the Buddha said were made up of five

different things the psychophysical

process you have a physical body there

is feeling I'm not talking about

emotional feeling right now I'm talking

about pleasant feeling a painful feeling

neither painful nor Pleasant feeling

then you have perception Sanja

perception is the part of the mind that

names things it's the start of concepts

it also has memory in it

the next one is thoughts and the last

one is consciousness

now you're made up of these five

different things our habit is when a

painful feeling arises we try to think

the feeling away and the more you try to

think the feeling the bigger and more

intense that feeling becomes and it will

get so big that you start running around

looking for some kind of relief and this

is when a lot of people go to doctors

and say I've got this depressed mind and

I don't know what to do with it give me

some medicine make it better

the Buddha's medicine was learning how

to understand this process and how to

let go of this suffering craving always

arises as tension and tightness in your

mind and in your body you feel your

self starting to get a headache start

relaxing all of those muscles in your

neck let go of all of those thoughts

smile I don't feel like smiling I don't

care how does your mind feel no huh huh

feels good huh see the more you can

laugh in other words you stop taking it

personally and you see it as just it's

just this feeling well that's easy to

let go of so you let it be you'd let it

go you relax come back and smile some

more they've done an awful lot of tests

on how mind works and how a body works

and they found out that even when you

don't feel like smiling

if you smile even if you have a lot of

sadness or anxiety or depression

if you smile your mind will look it true

and say well I'm smiling I must be happy

and then your mind will start to become

happy isn't that odd the more you can

smile during the day and give that smile

away to everyone else around you the

happier you will become it's the way it

works

now the Buddha talked a lot about

practicing your Donna practicing your

generosity what was he really talking

about was he talking about money

no he wasn't talking about that sort of

thing

he was talking about you personally

giving a good feeling to somebody else

but you can't give it to somebody else

unless you feel it yourself so you start

smiling and you smile to other people

around you and then they start feeling

good and they start smiling now you're

affecting the world around you in a

positive way especially in this country

right now there's so much fear and

there's so much worried about losing

jobs and not having enough money and

losing your house the more you get

involved in the fear and anxiety the

more you think that this problem is so

big that you can't get around it don't

sit with your arms folded please

the more you try to think your feelings

the bigger the problem becomes the more

of an emergency it becomes and the

easier it is to become depressed and sad

and over concern well it's the economy's

fault the economy is not causing your

suffering you are causing your own

suffering by taking a feeling and making

it yours personally and then trying to

think away the feeling so what you need

to do is to recognize that there is a

definite process that happens that will

when you understand it start to give you

relief now one of the wonderful things

about the Buddha was that he when he was

talking about the Dhamma he said this is

immediately effective he wasn't talking

about doing a three-month retreat he was

talking about right here right now the

more you practice having an uplifted

mind in other words the more you smile

the easier it is to let go of the worry

and the fear and the anxiety have you

ever had one of those kind of days when

nothing went right everything you tried

to do was an effort and finally you had

a choice either I can laugh about this

or I can start crying so you laugh about

it and all of a sudden

the day's not so bad anymore what

happened when you laugh you stop taking

everything personally and you're kind of

standing back a little bit and you're

seeing that this process is not worth

worrying about not worth getting

involved in you can't think problems

away you have to allow the space for

thoughts to be and let them go the more

you can smile into what you're doing

while you're doing it the easier it is

to let go of that pain let go of this

suffering there's one chair right here

if you want so what what is the best

remedy for practicing what the Buddha

taught us being happy giving that

happiness to somebody else you can't

give what you don't have so it's a

matter of learning how when days are

really bad nothing you try works you're

behind schedule everything is slowing

you down and you're becoming frustrated

have a good laugh and all of a sudden

all of this heaviness that you've been

putting on your own shoulders lifts now

what happens when the day is going wrong

I have an expectation I

the day to go the way I want it to go

right but it doesn't happen that way and

because it doesn't happen that way you

try harder and you start thinking more

and then you start

oh I'm behind schedule I'm thinking

about what I need to do next instead of

what I'm doing right now and you get

about halfway done and you go oh I

forgot and then you go running off and

do something else and you come back and

you're not done with what you were doing

and it's hard to get back into it again

this is called a restless mind a

restless mind is very scattered you're

not in the present moment you're not

doing what you're doing while you do it

you're thinking about doing something

else while you're doing this so you

don't do this very well and you don't

really finish this in a satisfactory way

before you're running off to do

something else and then you get angry

with yourself because I'm not doing this

good this isn't the way it's supposed to

be and now you're beating yourself up

and you're causing yourself a lot more

pain and suffering what to do when that

happens

well I'm in a hurry I've only got 20

minutes and I have these five things I

have to get done the best thing to do

sit down for 5-10 minutes

calm your mind smile with yourself let

go of all of your thoughts let let the

worry be don't get involved with it have

a little chuckle for getting caught and

then when you get up your mind is very

centered and you do this job done

you do this done all of a sudden you

become more efficient with what you're

doing because you're staying in the

present moment not thinking about

something else

you're not worried about anything

because you're just doing this right

here right now what's the best way to be

efficient having fun with what you're

doing while you do it enjoying what

you're doing not dread not at all I hate

doing the dishes as a result you don't

do them very well and you get chewed out

by somebody else because it's still

dirty now that's just a little example

but you see what I'm talking about

when you have happiness in the present

moment with what you're doing you become

very efficient and very good at doing

what you're doing and this leads to a

lot of peace and tranquility arising in

your mind you're not fighting with the

present moment you're not leaning out of

the present moment wishing the next

moment to be better you're letting it go

and you're just being here right now the

Buddha said we're the happy ones are we

or are we resisting being happy in the

present moment

don't think about going to the movie

because then I'll be happy be happy

right here right now

practice your smiling practice giving

your smile away to someone else

practice your laughing isn't that odd

have you ever heard a monk tell you

you're supposed to laugh

now the next thing that you really have

to be careful of and that is keeping

your precepts and coming back to this

country from Asia people don't like to

hear about that sort of thing they don't

like to hear about morality they don't

like to hear about what it really is

talking about but this is the foundation

of your practice what are the precepts

don't kill any living being on purpose

don't take anything that's not given

don't have any wrong sexual activity

wrong sexual activity someone that has

sexual activity with another person's

mate that would be wrong sexual activity

someone that has sexual activity with

someone that's young still under the

care of their parents that's wrong

sexual activity what it boils down to is

not having any sexual activity that

causes anyone to be unhappy the next

part is the hard one it has to do with

your speech now just in the last 10 or

12 years people speaking in this country

even on the radio and on the television

are cursing a lot

what is cursing really imply it implies

anger it implies that your mind is not

very clear and bright there's a version

in your mind oh I did it I hate

that no-good all of those kind of mental

states take you out of the present

moment so you don't know what you're

doing right here right now you're caught

up in your mind thinking thinking

thinking thinking thinking you don't

even know you have a body did you ever

get angry and get into a car now are you

really driving that's when accidents

happen in it because you're not paying

attention because you're thinking about

something else

don't tell anybody lies don't try to

divide people bring people together with

your speech say things that are kindly

say things that are uplifting not this

person said a lie whether it's true or

not you don't need to use that kind of

speech it's better to say nothing don't

gossip hard one but what is gossip

it's getting together with other people

and making up stories about somebody

that's not there they don't have

anything to do with the truth it's just

making up stories it's better not to say

anything it's better to walk away from

that kind of conversation there was a

nun in Burma that was very skillful at

gossip and the monks and the nuns got

very tired of her saying things that

weren't necessarily true

and she was having a lot of

dissatisfaction and a lot of anger

coming up and she was letting that out

through her speech and she would come up

and she'd start talking to somebody and

she'd start doing that they'd turn

around and walk away and before long she

was just standing by herself and any

time she went to talk to somebody she

started talking negatively they walked

away that's how the monks taught her you

have to be more careful with your speech

so when somebody around you is gossiping

walk away you don't have to listen to

that stuff because you know it's

probably not true now what's the

advantage of keeping your precepts the

more you keep your precepts without

breaking them the more calm your mind

becomes the more aware you are of what

you're going to do or you're going to

say before you say it

the last precept not a real popular

precept don't take any drugs or alcohol

why because you're going to break the

other precepts when you do now somebody

that takes drugs and alcohol when they

come to a retreat within a day I really

know whether that's what they've been

doing or not and they have a hard time

doing the retreat they have a hard time

having a calm peaceful mind drugs and

alcohol dull you out and you say well a

little glass of wine now and then only

one beer now and then on our website we

had some

but it said I had half orange juice half

beer only one and I watched what it did

to my mind and all of a sudden I had all

of these hindrances coming up in my mind

what are hindrances lust

I want hatred I don't want dullness

sleepiness restlessness anxiety doubt

these five hindrances when they come up

they take your mind completely away from

the present moment and you get lost in

your thinking and in your want to make

them go away or to indulge in them you

don't know you have a body you don't

even know where you are most of the time

if you're caught in a hindrance when you

break a precept it causes the hindrances

to arise so this man tried this half

beer half other stuff orange juice I

think it was I don't remember and he

said all of a sudden he had all of these

lust thoughts coming up and disliked

thoughts coming up and he was really

causing himself suffering that's from a

half a beer so how much more a whole

glass of wine how much more a whole beer

how much more a shot of some stronger

kind of alcohol how much more taking

drugs for recreational purposes oh I

just need to take the edge off right now

I've had a bad day

when you do that you dull yourself out

you have a tendency to get highly

emotional not only while you're doing

the drugs or alcohol but afterwards you

have a tendency to say things that

aren't very nice to other people and

make them angry stay away from these

kind of things they only lead to your

suffering you caused your own suffering

nobody else causes your suffering you

caused your own suffering why a painful

feeling arises I don't like it

who doesn't like it I don't like it

that's craving craving is the I like it

I don't like it mine it always shows

itself by being tense and tight in your

mind and in your body right after that

all of your stories about why you like

or dislike that feeling why you want

more of it why you don't want any more

of it and then your habitual tendency I

always act this way when this kind of

feeling arises I always act this way

when they say this to me and then you

have birth of action and you start

acting in ways that are really kind of

crazy welcome to the human race

everybody's crazy everybody because of

craving

I want it I don't want it right after

the birth of action you have pain sorrow

lamentation grief and despair now what I

just told you what I just demonstrated

to you was how dependent origination

actually works have you heard about that

bendin origination before this is a

process that your mind goes through and

it always arises because of your not

understanding how the Four Noble Truths

actually work and how you get caught up

in liking and disliking whatever happens

during your activities and you cause

yourself pain when you fight what's

happening in the present moment now as

you know I teach a lot of meditation and

when you sit in meditation sometimes

pain arises and that pain can be real

strong it hurts but when you're sitting

in meditation I tell you don't move your

body at all

now you get to watch how your mind

handles this sensation first thing

you'll notice thinking about it boy I

hate that feeling I wish it had stopped

I wish it had go away why does it have

to bother me now I really don't want it

to be there I really do want to move

every thought about the pain causes the

pain to be bigger and more intense so

you let go of the thoughts they're only

thoughts they're not even your thoughts

they're just thoughts and you relax the

tightness caused by those thoughts now

you see there's a tight mental fist

wrapped around that feeling I don't like

that feeling it hurts I don't want it to

be there but the truth is when a feeling

arises it's there that's the truth isn't

that profound when it's there it's there

so what you do with what arises in the

present moment dictates what happens in

the future karma you have a choice you

can fight that pain you can try to

resist it you can try to change it you

can try to make it different but what

are you really doing you're fighting

with the Dhamma of the present moment

you're fighting with the truth there is

pain there it's real and then I don't

like it it's like you take a real

red-hot coal and you put it in your hand

and you say oh that hurts so you try to

make it stop hurting by squeezing it and

the more you squeeze it the more it

hurts so what I'm telling you is let it

go it's just a feeling it's painful okay

so what it's still only a feeling now I

have a question for you did you ask that

painful feeling to come up did you say

you know I've been sitting here for a

while and I haven't had any pain come up

so I guess it's time for it to come up

now you try to make that pain come up no

nobody's dumb enough to do that

it comes up by itself because the

conditions are right for it to arise

what you do with what arises in the

present moment dictates what happens in

the future so you say okay that pain is

there but it's okay for it to be there

it has to be okay because it's the truth

you can't fight with the truth you can't

argue with it you can't make it any

different than what it is all you can do

is allow the truth to be and relax your

mind and your body and then come back to

a wholesome object smile well it hurts

too much I don't feel like smiling I

don't care

smile anyway you ever stub your toe how

much does that hurt

what did you do when you stubbed your

toe if you're like most people there's a

lot of unwholesome speech that happens

and a lot of hobbling around and not

liking the present moment when pain

arises in your body that pain is telling

you something that you need to recognize

for yourself when that pain arises it's

saying I hurt I need you to love me

right there right where that pain is I

need love there but what are you doing

when you stub your toe are you giving

your toe loving kindness or are you

giving your toe anger and

dissatisfaction and aversion it's real

interesting that in your body you have

this thing that's in between the two

lobes of your brain it's a little tiny

gland called the pineal gland and this

pineal gland

what its job is is to let out a

painkiller in your body

it's called endorphins it's about ten

times stronger than morphine okay it's

really a good painkiller but the only

way that pineal gland is will release

that painkiller into your body is

through having a loving kind open mind

so you stub your toe you get angry and

you keep that angry and you hobble

around and that pain stays there for a

long time the next day the day after

that the day after that you're still

hobbling around because it hurts because

you didn't put love into that you put

your dissatisfaction into that and then

every time you walk it hurts a little

bit what do you do with your mind put

more dissatisfaction in it when you do

that that closes down all the

circulation around the pineal gland it

doesn't release any endorphins so what

you want to do is send love into that

let go of those thoughts of

dissatisfaction let go of those thoughts

of aversion just wish that big toe well

I just went to Germany the night before

I went to Germany I did stub my toe and

I broke it and I sent a lot of

loving-kindness into it went up I have a

loft so I have to climb some stairs

which was not an easy thing and I laid

down and went to sleep and I didn't wake

up the whole night I didn't have any

pain arising in me I got up the next

morning I kind of hobbled around

but after two days I was walking

normally no pain you can't do anything

with a broken toe outside to put a bow

on it so you don't hit it again but you

put love into the painful thing another

thing that happens I have a wood-burning

stove I live in the forest we have a lot

of trees and a lot of wood so when

you're messing around with the

wood-burning stove

sometimes you touch a piece of metal and

you'll burn yourself it's painful but

you let the pain be there and you start

sending love into that thing that hurts

and it doesn't hurt anymore it's weird

it happened so fast

next day somebody looks at my hand and

say oh you got a big burn there and I

look and go oh I guess I do yeah I

forgot it doesn't hurt if you have the

aversion if you have the dislike then

that closes down the pineal gland that

closes down the painkiller in the body

and that will last for a long time the

pain will stay there for a week two

weeks even longer because of your

dissatisfaction and your not being aware

of how this process works

it's real interesting because when I

give a retreat I just got done giving

two-week retreat and during the retreat

I was telling everybody you know what I

want you to do most I want you to smile

I want you to laugh

and I want you to have fun now why would

I say something like that when you're

having fun you're interested in what

you're doing your progress is really

fast when that happened you're not

trying to do something you're just

having fun so it picks up your interest

and you watch a little bit more closely

and when you're smiling your mind is

light when you have joy in your mind now

this is an enlightenment factor it's not

something to be afraid of when you have

joy in your mind your mind is very alert

your mind is very agile agile means you

can see when your mind is starts to let

get heavy and you can let it go you can

allow it to be and relax into that and

smile some more and your mind is very

pure at that time that's what the Buddha

is teaching us in it how to have a pure

mind you have a pure mind when you're

mind is uplifted when you let go of the

tensions and tightness and in your head

when you relax into what you're doing

and have fun with what you're doing this

isn't a maybe I've got too many students

that are going yeah you know this stuff

really works

but it doesn't work unless you try it I

mean this isn't philosophy you have to

practice what's the easiest way to

practice smile all day I told one

student that came oh she was miserable

she was full over anger and

oh just not doing well at all

so I took her to where there was a

mirror and I gave her a little watch and

I said you have to smile for five

minutes five minutes is a long time

especially when you have a clock there

watching it you know you if you don't

have the clock you go oh this is good

okay five minutes is up but with a clock

you you know when you're fooling

yourself but why do you stand in front

of the mirror to see whether you're

smiling or not and when you see you're

not smiling then start smiling again now

what you do with that is wish yourself

happiness wish yourself a happy feeling

feel that happy feeling in the center of

your chest and wish yourself to be happy

and feel that happiness if you do that

every day for a week you will feel a

difference you'll start to feel when

your mind gets heavy and you start

getting emotional and you'll be able to

let it go and smile some more there is a

manage in Australia he wrote and told me

that he'd been doing meditation for a

long time and he just wasn't satisfied

with the end results he'd been doing it

for six or seven years he was very

successful at meditating but he said

when I get done with the meditation life

is the same I want to see what you have

to teach so I started teaching him but

he had old habits of his meditation and

he wasn't doing

well and finally I said look you're not

doing the meditation the way I'm showing

you you're just falling into your old

habits so here's what I want you to do I

don't want you to sit for seven days the

only thing you have to do is smile and

any time you feel that your mind is

getting negative laughs have fun and I

didn't hear from him for seven days and

I thought ah he's gone someplace else

and here uh finally wrote back to me and

he said you know I really took what you

said to heart and this is what I saw

when I would walk around always before

you told me to smile I always walked

down around with my head down and I was

always in a mental haze thinking this

and thinking that but when I started

smiling my posture changed a little bit

and I started looking around and you

know other people started smiling back

at me and they never do that

and other people started to come

from one thing to another it's

remembering to observe so because he was

smiling he was starting to see how his

mind got heavy and he started laughing a

little bit with that and he noticed oh

when I laugh I'm not so attached to my

thoughts and feelings I'm not so

involved with all of this thinking

nonsense that I've been doing for so

many years and then he said and now the

doctor he cut down on the drugs I was

taking drugs why are you taking drugs oh

I'm in a mental institute

why would have helped if you'd have told

me you know I had given me some idea but

they told him that when he was in the

hospital when he got admitted to the

hospital that he was going to stay there

for the rest of his life and he wasn't

gonna change and as he continued smiling

and being happy people would write to me

in a yahoo group and he would write back

to them and say you know I don't know if

this is right or not but this is what my

experience was when I spy

and the things my mind became very alert

very uplifted and very happy maybe you

can try that he became a great teacher

very much giving it advice as good as I

give or maybe even better in some cases

it was amazing just because he practice

smiling laughing when he couldn't smile

he said you know even when I didn't feel

like smiling I smiled and I felt better

there's advantage to that practice

smiling all the time and what happens in

your mind becomes lighter when your mind

is lighter you're able to see more

clearly how Minds attention gets caught

by a situation or when somebody comes up

to you when it's not time for them to

talk and you don't have time to talk

they want to continue talking or when

they come up to you and they start

telling you a whole bunch of lies or

when they come up to you and they're

angry and they're giving you their anger

what are you supposed to do with that

you don't necessarily smile with your

face but you smile with your heart

what's the definition of compassion

compassion is seeing another person in

pain allowing them the space to have

their pain and love them no matter what

doesn't matter what they say doesn't

matter what they do

now what when I started this talk I was

telling you about what you do with

somebody that comes to you and they have

anger I'll give you another instance you

go to work first thing that happens is

your boss is angry and they come at you

with their anger what do you do you take

their anger make it your anger and throw

it back at them now you're fighting now

this also happens in relationships men

and women relationships married couples

all of this and then you start talking

at the same time so you don't hear what

that other person says you only hear

what you say sound familiar

so after a little while they go away how

what do you think about it what do you

think about after you get in a fight

what they said what you said what you

sort of said and I'm right and they're

wrong that's what happens and then it

plays over again just like it was on a

tape deck same words saying it in the

same order in the same way now what

happens when somebody else walks up to

you and they start to say something to

you and they might not mean anything but

it might sound a little harsh to you you

take the anger that you have from that

past experience and you start throwing

it at them now you're having a rotten

day and then you go home and you say you

know I'm so I was such a lousy day leave

me alone

I want to be alone all I want to do is

and when you go to sleep you're tossing

and turning and you don't get good sleep

so you wake up the next morning kind of

groggy and not clear and you go to work

and if anybody says anything you snap at

them sound familiar

why did it happen like that because you

took somebody else's pain and suffering

you took their anger and you made it

your anger you caused yourself a lot of

suffering because you tried to take

somebody else's pain and you made it

your pain and you threw it back at him

but if you're compassionate if you

practice what the Buddha is teaching it

doesn't matter what that other person

says it doesn't matter at all as a

matter of fact don't even pay attention

to what they're saying you spend your

time sending loving and kind thoughts to

that person you can see them suffering

you know what it feels like to get angry

not pleasant so you have compassion for

that person and you radiate loving

kindness to that person and one of two

things will happen either they will calm

down and then you can start discussing

things in a rational way or they'll

leave walk off grumbling

occasionally people get angry and

they'll come and they'll start talking

to me and then they'll start talking to

each other and there they get really

highly emotional and they're talking at

the same time and what do I do I sit

there and just smile radiates

loving-kindness to doesn't matter what

they're talking about that's not the

real problem that's only a made-up

problem

so I radiate loving-kindness and before

long they're just starting to talk like

normal people and then they're starting

to laugh a little bit and I just keep

radiating loving-kindness to them and

after a little while they say well thank

you' bhante we got to go to work and i

didn't say a word - takes practice to be

able to do that so you practice every

day you practice smiling you practice

radiating loving-kindness to whatever

person you see and wish them well in

your mind you don't have to take another

person's pain and make it yours

as a matter of fact if you do you're

only causing yourself pain and you're

certainly not helping the situation

radiate loving-kindness now in this

particular suit though that I was

talking to you about it's called the

simile of the saw and the Buddha was

talking to monks about this he said it

doesn't matter what their what another

person does or says what matters is what

happens in your own mind he said if you

practice in this way giving

loving-kindness to other people without

any boundaries without any limits and

then sending loving-kindness to all

beings no matter what you're doing do

you think that there's anything that

another person that could the would say

that would upset your mind if you're

focusing on loving kindness doesn't

matter what somebody else says does it

he said if there were two bandits when

you're walking out alone came with a saw

and started sawing your limbs off if you

hold even one thought moment of dislike

or dissatisfaction then you're not

following what the Buddha said that's a

little radical for laymen but you get

the idea of how important it is not to

get caught up and what other people say

it's more important for you to focus

your mind on loving-kindness and wishing

them well now this is practicing your

generosity

this is practicing your morality and

when you do that your mind naturally

develops and becomes more spiritually

based it's not the practice you get from

sitting like a rock in meditation it's

the practice of radiating

loving-kindness during your daily life

so we come back to what I started

talking about smile

laughs have fun that's what life is

supposed to be we're not supposed to be

worrying about this or that somebody

wrote me an email and there were nasty

so what in your radiates loving-kindness

to that person doesn't matter what they

said what matters is what you do with

what arises in you in the present moment

well husband and wife don't agree on

something okay fine it's okay not to

agree but you can't talk at the same

time that's breaking a rule the rule is

this person talks says what they think

the other person says okay thank you

very much now this other person talks

without getting interrupted and says

what they think and then they can come

to some kind of agreement they can start

compromising a little bit and say well

maybe we can do it this way or do it

that way is that better than yelling

especially when you're yelling at the

same time and somebody else so they

don't know what you're saying but you

think they do because you said it

so you see what the Buddha is really

talking about is learning how to live in

peace and harmony all the time and when

you do how do you think you affect the

world around you don't sit with your

arms crossed please how do you affect

the world around you when you are

peaceful and calm and smiling and having

fun with everybody else around you

are you practicing the Eightfold Path at

that time you better believe it

what's a proper perspective what's right

view not taking things personally taking

interest in what you're doing in the

present moment but seeing it as part of

an impersonal process when you have

peace and calm and you're having fun

what kind of an image are you projecting

for the universe are you projecting

sadness sorrow worry anxiety a feeling

of loss a feeling of poverty or are you

holding an image of yourself where

you're having an uplifted mind and

you're able to help other people around

you in a positive way what kind of image

do you want to hold for yourself what's

right thought holding that image so it's

real important to have an image that's

not full of worry not full of anxiety

reading the newspaper reading or

watching television

you know there's a way to solve the

problem with television everybody

complains about it so negative and all

of that the way to solve it is with a

brick through the screen there is a

thing that we just saw a little while

ago that it says if you want to have a

good community turn off the television

how much time is wasted being by

yourself now you're from Sri Lanka

you know what community is community is

getting together and being with people

and helping each other that's what the

Buddha was trying to show us holding an

image that is one of hope and

helpfulness and kindness so you're

following the Eightfold Path when you

have joy when you're smiling when you're

laughing there was a nun that came to

the last retreat she was there for 10

days or so she was from the Zen

tradition and Zen tradition is very very

stern nobody smiles nobody laughs it's

just effort and that's the way they

practiced and she came to this retreat

and she saw people smiling she saw

people laughing and she finally had to

say something she said you know this is

a way retreats are supposed to be this

being over serious and and

having this heavy mind while you're

striving so hard doesn't seem to work so

well but you guys got it right this is

the way we're supposed to live with a

happy mind with an uplifted mind with a

mind that's interested in what you're

doing in the present moment and enjoying

it

oh wait how long am I supposed to talk

up to eight o'clock why don't I stop now

and ask if you have any questions what I

said was so clear that you don't have

any doubts in your mind and you're gonna

be practicing it from here on out right

I guess so

sure is quiet

you can ask I promise I won't

right

don't move in that sitting but the next

time you sit change your posture a

little bit nope

I say the next time you sit if you sit

in the same way every time and your leg

goes to sleep every time then you need

to adjust so it doesn't do that and

sometimes it means if you you get a

small pillow or even roll up a towel and

put it underneath your knee if you're

sitting on the floor or raise your leg

up a little bit if you're sitting in a

chair sometimes just that much movement

will will allow that not to happen

anymore but you don't move while you're

a city and I know how painful it is

believe me I've done many many many

retreats

what's more important to see is what

your mind does with that how your mind

doesn't like it and how you start

thinking about it I wish I'd just

stopped so I wouldn't have this problem

anymore and you see your mind do this

and becomes hard the thing is with the

Buddha's teaching he told us to do this

never this

there's a couple of different kinds of

meditation technique that are being

taught these days one of them naturally

causes your mind to do this and become

very deeply concentrated and absorbed in

an object of meditation so you don't

really see what's happening around you

very much the other kind of meditation

which is the kind that I teach it does

this and you go through different jhanas

jhanas are levels of understanding

because you're teaching yourself how to

meditate I'm not your teacher I'm a

guide all I do is keep you on the path

if you start going off the path a little

bit I'll kind of nudge in get your back

on the path the Buddha is our teacher

and I spend a lot of time reading what

the Buddha was talking about so I can be

able to explain it in words that are a

little bit easier to understand you

notice I don't use much in the way of

Pali words and I could but do you

understand Pali let's see why I don't

use it

it's much more important that you

understand the teachings of the Buddha

than it is to be attached to a

particular way of speaking about it that

you don't understand

I spent 12 years in Asia a lot of that

time was in Burma almost three years in

Burma where they were either speaking

Burmese or they were speaking in Pali

difficult experience it would have done

much better if they were speaking in

English so I could understand more

completely what they were talking about

I wish I could speak tree Lankan and I

would but I'm really lousy with

languages even English is a little tough

for me

but do you understand why you don't move

do you understand why you don't move

when you're sitting in meditation

because that way you get to see what

your mind is doing and how it doesn't

like that feeling and all of those

thoughts and you start to learn how to

let go of the thoughts and relax so you

can see that tight mental fist and allow

the feeling to be when you do that one

of two things will happen either the

pain will go away by itself or it won't

but if it doesn't you start gaining more

mental balance you know there's a

difference between meditation pain and

real pain real pain is when you sit in

meditation and this pain comes up and

finally you get up from the meditation

and you start walking and the pain

doesn't go away that's real pain if that

happens please do not sit like that

again

sit in another way so that you don't

have this physical pain that's real

arise a meditation pain is a pain that

arises and you start walking in five or

ten seconds later you forget that you

had the pain that's a meditation pain

and they can seem exactly the same while

you're City but if you're sitting and

that pain arises and it doesn't go away

if you're sitting on the floor then

don't sit on the floor anymore sit in a

chair sit so that you're comfortable so

pain doesn't arise

there's no magic in the floor you know

why they sat on the floor in Asia I

didn't have many chairs they were used

to sitting on the fundin chair they were

used to sitting on the floor now we're

getting used to sitting in chairs so sit

in a chair that's okay sit comfortably

sometimes some people would sit in a

chair one sitting and the next sitting

they'd sit on the floor

fine no problem with that as long as

you're walking in between so you get

some exercise and get your blood moving

this isn't a torture to sit in

meditation it's not supposed to be

painful even though a lot of monks talk

a lot about suffering I prefer to talk

about the cessation of suffering how to

let it go so you don't have this tension

and tightness all the time when you

learn to smile and you learn to laugh

during your daily activities you give

that smile away you give your laughter

to other people not at other people to

other people

and you have fun you're keeping your

precepts you're practicing your

generosity you come and you sit in

meditation and one day or two days you'd

be surprised at how deeply you go into

the meditation it's not a maybe I have a

lot of students that progress very

quickly when they're willing to follow

these kind of instructions it's not

painful the meditation doesn't have to

be painful at all the meditation will

teach you how to let go of pain the

meditation will teach you how to have

this uplifted mind all the time that's

what the Buddha wants us to do he wants

us to be happy practice your generosity

give with whatever you feel is

appropriate at the time you can give

with your energy you can give with your

speech you certainly can give with your

mind and radiates loving-kindness to

everybody now you're practicing what the

Buddha taught and the number of

disagreements that you have with other

people starts to become less and less I

bet it's eight o'clock

but don't believe anything that I've

said tonight please try it do it see

whether I'm right or not see whether the

boot is right or not don't believe

anything blindly if it doesn't work for

you don't do it

but if it works do it over and over

again no it has to work for not only you

but everybody else around you okay

so I believe that FEMA or Chitra gave

out the business cards that have our

website on it I have a lot of talks on

their website you can go and listen to

them

there's instruction and the meditation

if you want to join our yahoo group and

ask questions about meditation feel free

to join us there's always somebody

around that'll give answers if I'm not

there practice

be happy that's my wish for all of you

okay I'm going to share some merit now

any suffering ones be suffering free and

the fear struck fearless be me the

grieving shed all grief and may all

beings find relief may all beings share

this merit that we've thus acquired for

the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness may beings inhabiting space

and earth divas and Nagas of mighty

powers share this merit of ours may they

long protect the Buddha's dispensation

and since I came here last we have now

added a whole bunch of acreage to our

monastery we now have over a hundred

acres of land has been donated and we

are gonna be busy for a few years

getting it all fixed up if you want to

come out and visit please feel free when

I give a retreat the only time I give

quote retreats for two weeks or three

weeks or whatever is when I'm not at the

monastery when I'm at the monastery you

can come for any length of time from

four days up to six weeks or two months

whatever and practice with us and if

you're going to be there for two months

you'll already know everything after a

couple of weeks it's just a matter of

practice and we'll put you to work for

us

but you'll have fun I promise okay

you

in one of the soup does it says very

clearly how you act for yourself it

doesn't matter what anybody else says or

does they said if somebody comes at you

whether it's timely or untimely whether

what they're saying is true or untrue

whether they're saying it with

loving-kindness or they're saying it

with anger you need to remember that

your mind is the thing that causes you

pain the Buddha said that you need to

take that person when they say something

in a rough way or an untimely way or in

a harsh way or even if they're angry and

not respond negatively to that other

person you use that other person as a

reminder to radiate loving and kind

thoughts and you radiate that to that

person and then you start radiating

loving-kindness to the whole world to

all beings if you can live like that you

will have a happy life you won't have oh

they said this and I didn't like it and

the gossip that goes along with that

sort of thing they said this and it

wasn't true and being angry at them

because they said something that wasn't

true you don't pay attention to that so

much you send loving and kind

thoughts to that person do you want to

affect the world around you in a

positive way or a negative way it's your

choice how you affect the world around

you you want to affect the world around

you in a positive way there are some

things that you need to practice and it

does take practice you need to learn how

to smile now before I go too much

further I see a lot of people sitting

with their arms crossed like this this

is called a thinking posture you're not

paying attention when you're thinking

please uncross your arms and don't sit

with your legs crossed either there are

some the Buddha told the monks that

there are some things that we have to be

careful of when people are coming and

listening to the Dhamma and this is one

of the things you want to practice

listening to the Dhamma with an open

heart when you're like this it closes

and you start thinking thinking thinking

not paying attention so when you uncross

your arms and uncross your legs you

become open and you hear clearly what is

being said now getting back to what I

was talking about if you practice

smiling all day all the time your

mindfulness will become very good and

very sharp when you have joy in your

mind from smiling your mind is uplifted

your mind is clear and it's very easy to

see when your mind gets heavy and you

start thinking seriously about things so

the more you can practice smiling during

the day whether you feel like smiling or

not then you will begin to have an

uplifted mind that's what the buddha was

teaching us he said if you want to have

a happy mind there's four things that

you need to do this is called the for

right efforts you have to notice when

your mind has unwholesomeness in it

what's unwholesome emotional states

dislike states unhappy States notice

when that happens let go of that

unwholesome state and relax the

tightness in your mind caused by that

unwholesome state bring up a wholesome

state

what's a wholesome state smile the more

you can smile the more wholesome your

mind becomes and keep that wholesome

state going all the time there's another

thing that is incredibly helpful and I'm

sure that not too many people really

hear about this sort of thing and that

is when you are sad or angry or fearful

or dissatisfied whatever they the catch

of the day happens to be the emotional

state that arises when you see that and

you

laughs with yourself for being caught by

that attachment you're not caught

anymore when you laugh with yourself for

being angry you are not angry anymore

it goes from I'm mad and I don't like

this

- it's only this anger well what happens

when you do that

you're losing your attachment what is

attachment how do you see attachment how

do you recognize it when it comes up the

second noble truth the Buddha talked

about is the cause of suffering we all

know about the first noble truth we

don't have to talk about that too much

although an awful lot of monks likes to

talk about that but what's the cause of

this and nough Buddha said the cause of

suffering is craving what is craving how

can you recognize craving when it comes

into your mind craving always manifests

as tension and tightness in your mind

and in your body when you notice that

you're sad depressed angry whatever it

happens to be that emotional state

you'll notice that there's a lot of

tension in your head how many people

give themselves headaches because they

don't like this painful feeling when it

arises more than a few almost everybody

gives themself headaches how does it

happen

the Buddha said were made up of five

different things the psychophysical

process you have a physical body there

is feeling I'm not talking about

emotional feeling right now I'm talking

about pleasant feeling a painful feeling

neither painful nor Pleasant feeling

then you have perception Sanja

perception is the part of the mind that

names things it's the start of concepts

it also has memory in it

the next one is thoughts and the last

one is consciousness

now you're made up of these five

different things our habit is when a

painful feeling arises we try to think

the feeling away and the more you try to

think the feeling the bigger and more

intense that feeling becomes and it will

get so big that you start running around

looking for some kind of relief and this

is when a lot of people go to doctors

and say I've got this depressed mind and

I don't know what to do with it give me

some medicine make it better

the Buddha's medicine was learning how

to understand this process and how to

let go of this suffering craving always

arises as tension and tightness in your

mind and in your body you feel your

self starting to get a headache start

relaxing all of those muscles in your

neck let go of all of those thoughts

smile I don't feel like smiling I don't

care how does your mind feel no huh huh

feels good huh see the more you can

laugh in other words you stop taking it

personally and you see it as just it's

just this feeling well that's easy to

let go of so you let it be you'd let it

go you relax come back and smile some

more they've done an awful lot of tests

on how mind works and how a body works

and they found out that even when you

don't feel like smiling

if you smile even if you have a lot of

sadness or anxiety or depression

if you smile your mind will look it true

and say well I'm smiling I must be happy

and then your mind will start to become

happy isn't that odd the more you can

smile during the day and give that smile

away to everyone else around you the

happier you will become it's the way it

works

now the Buddha talked a lot about

practicing your Donna practicing your

generosity what was he really talking

about was he talking about money

no he wasn't talking about that sort of

thing

he was talking about you personally

giving a good feeling to somebody else

but you can't give it to somebody else

unless you feel it yourself so you start

smiling and you smile to other people

around you and then they start feeling

good and they start smiling now you're

affecting the world around you in a

positive way especially in this country

right now there's so much fear and

there's so much worried about losing

jobs and not having enough money and

losing your house the more you get

involved in the fear and anxiety the

more you think that this problem is so

big that you can't get around it don't

sit with your arms folded please

the more you try to think your feelings

the bigger the problem becomes the more

of an emergency it becomes and the

easier it is to become depressed and sad

and over concern well it's the economy's

fault the economy is not causing your

suffering you are causing your own

suffering by taking a feeling and making

it yours personally and then trying to

think away the feeling so what you need

to do is to recognize that there is a

definite process that happens that will

when you understand it start to give you

relief now one of the wonderful things

about the Buddha was that he when he was

talking about the Dhamma he said this is

immediately effective he wasn't talking

about doing a three-month retreat he was

talking about right here right now the

more you practice having an uplifted

mind in other words the more you smile

the easier it is to let go of the worry

and the fear and the anxiety have you

ever had one of those kind of days when

nothing went right everything you tried

to do was an effort and finally you had

a choice either I can laugh about this

or I can start crying so you laugh about

it and all of a sudden

the day's not so bad anymore what

happened when you laugh you stop taking

everything personally and you're kind of

standing back a little bit and you're

seeing that this process is not worth

worrying about not worth getting

involved in you can't think problems

away you have to allow the space for

thoughts to be and let them go the more

you can smile into what you're doing

while you're doing it the easier it is

to let go of that pain let go of this

suffering there's one chair right here

if you want so what what is the best

remedy for practicing what the Buddha

taught us being happy giving that

happiness to somebody else you can't

give what you don't have so it's a

matter of learning how when days are

really bad nothing you try works you're

behind schedule everything is slowing

you down and you're becoming frustrated

have a good laugh and all of a sudden

all of this heaviness that you've been

putting on your own shoulders lifts now

what happens when the day is going wrong

I have an expectation I

the day to go the way I want it to go

right but it doesn't happen that way and

because it doesn't happen that way you

try harder and you start thinking more

and then you start

oh I'm behind schedule I'm thinking

about what I need to do next instead of

what I'm doing right now and you get

about halfway done and you go oh I

forgot and then you go running off and

do something else and you come back and

you're not done with what you were doing

and it's hard to get back into it again

this is called a restless mind a

restless mind is very scattered you're

not in the present moment you're not

doing what you're doing while you do it

you're thinking about doing something

else while you're doing this so you

don't do this very well and you don't

really finish this in a satisfactory way

before you're running off to do

something else and then you get angry

with yourself because I'm not doing this

good this isn't the way it's supposed to

be and now you're beating yourself up

and you're causing yourself a lot more

pain and suffering what to do when that

happens

well I'm in a hurry I've only got 20

minutes and I have these five things I

have to get done the best thing to do

sit down for 5-10 minutes

calm your mind smile with yourself let

go of all of your thoughts let let the

worry be don't get involved with it have

a little chuckle for getting caught and

then when you get up your mind is very

centered and you do this job done

you do this done all of a sudden you

become more efficient with what you're

doing because you're staying in the

present moment not thinking about

something else

you're not worried about anything

because you're just doing this right

here right now what's the best way to be

efficient having fun with what you're

doing while you do it enjoying what

you're doing not dread not at all I hate

doing the dishes as a result you don't

do them very well and you get chewed out

by somebody else because it's still

dirty now that's just a little example

but you see what I'm talking about

when you have happiness in the present

moment with what you're doing you become

very efficient and very good at doing

what you're doing and this leads to a

lot of peace and tranquility arising in

your mind you're not fighting with the

present moment you're not leaning out of

the present moment wishing the next

moment to be better you're letting it go

and you're just being here right now the

Buddha said we're the happy ones are we

or are we resisting being happy in the

present moment

don't think about going to the movie

because then I'll be happy be happy

right here right now

practice your smiling practice giving

your smile away to someone else

practice your laughing isn't that odd

have you ever heard a monk tell you

you're supposed to laugh

now the next thing that you really have

to be careful of and that is keeping

your precepts and coming back to this

country from Asia people don't like to

hear about that sort of thing they don't

like to hear about morality they don't

like to hear about what it really is

talking about but this is the foundation

of your practice what are the precepts

don't kill any living being on purpose

don't take anything that's not given

don't have any wrong sexual activity

wrong sexual activity someone that has

sexual activity with another person's

mate that would be wrong sexual activity

someone that has sexual activity with

someone that's young still under the

care of their parents that's wrong

sexual activity what it boils down to is

not having any sexual activity that

causes anyone to be unhappy the next

part is the hard one it has to do with

your speech now just in the last 10 or

12 years people speaking in this country

even on the radio and on the television

are cursing a lot

what is cursing really imply it implies

anger it implies that your mind is not

very clear and bright there's a version

in your mind oh I did it I hate

that no-good all of those kind of mental

states take you out of the present

moment so you don't know what you're

doing right here right now you're caught

up in your mind thinking thinking

thinking thinking thinking you don't

even know you have a body did you ever

get angry and get into a car now are you

really driving that's when accidents

happen in it because you're not paying

attention because you're thinking about

something else

don't tell anybody lies don't try to

divide people bring people together with

your speech say things that are kindly

say things that are uplifting not this

person said a lie whether it's true or

not you don't need to use that kind of

speech it's better to say nothing don't

gossip hard one but what is gossip

it's getting together with other people

and making up stories about somebody

that's not there they don't have

anything to do with the truth it's just

making up stories it's better not to say

anything it's better to walk away from

that kind of conversation there was a

nun in Burma that was very skillful at

gossip and the monks and the nuns got

very tired of her saying things that

weren't necessarily true

and she was having a lot of

dissatisfaction and a lot of anger

coming up and she was letting that out

through her speech and she would come up

and she'd start talking to somebody and

she'd start doing that they'd turn

around and walk away and before long she

was just standing by herself and any

time she went to talk to somebody she

started talking negatively they walked

away that's how the monks taught her you

have to be more careful with your speech

so when somebody around you is gossiping

walk away you don't have to listen to

that stuff because you know it's

probably not true now what's the

advantage of keeping your precepts the

more you keep your precepts without

breaking them the more calm your mind

becomes the more aware you are of what

you're going to do or you're going to

say before you say it

the last precept not a real popular

precept don't take any drugs or alcohol

why because you're going to break the

other precepts when you do now somebody

that takes drugs and alcohol when they

come to a retreat within a day I really

know whether that's what they've been

doing or not and they have a hard time

doing the retreat they have a hard time

having a calm peaceful mind drugs and

alcohol dull you out and you say well a

little glass of wine now and then only

one beer now and then on our website we

had some

but it said I had half orange juice half

beer only one and I watched what it did

to my mind and all of a sudden I had all

of these hindrances coming up in my mind

what are hindrances lust

I want hatred I don't want dullness

sleepiness restlessness anxiety doubt

these five hindrances when they come up

they take your mind completely away from

the present moment and you get lost in

your thinking and in your want to make

them go away or to indulge in them you

don't know you have a body you don't

even know where you are most of the time

if you're caught in a hindrance when you

break a precept it causes the hindrances

to arise so this man tried this half

beer half other stuff orange juice I

think it was I don't remember and he

said all of a sudden he had all of these

lust thoughts coming up and disliked

thoughts coming up and he was really

causing himself suffering that's from a

half a beer so how much more a whole

glass of wine how much more a whole beer

how much more a shot of some stronger

kind of alcohol how much more taking

drugs for recreational purposes oh I

just need to take the edge off right now

I've had a bad day

when you do that you dull yourself out

you have a tendency to get highly

emotional not only while you're doing

the drugs or alcohol but afterwards you

have a tendency to say things that

aren't very nice to other people and

make them angry stay away from these

kind of things they only lead to your

suffering you caused your own suffering

nobody else causes your suffering you

caused your own suffering why a painful

feeling arises I don't like it

who doesn't like it I don't like it

that's craving craving is the I like it

I don't like it mine it always shows

itself by being tense and tight in your

mind and in your body right after that

all of your stories about why you like

or dislike that feeling why you want

more of it why you don't want any more

of it and then your habitual tendency I

always act this way when this kind of

feeling arises I always act this way

when they say this to me and then you

have birth of action and you start

acting in ways that are really kind of

crazy welcome to the human race

everybody's crazy everybody because of

craving

I want it I don't want it right after

the birth of action you have pain sorrow

lamentation grief and despair now what I

just told you what I just demonstrated

to you was how dependent origination

actually works have you heard about that

bendin origination before this is a

process that your mind goes through and

it always arises because of your not

understanding how the Four Noble Truths

actually work and how you get caught up

in liking and disliking whatever happens

during your activities and you cause

yourself pain when you fight what's

happening in the present moment now as

you know I teach a lot of meditation and

when you sit in meditation sometimes

pain arises and that pain can be real

strong it hurts but when you're sitting

in meditation I tell you don't move your

body at all

now you get to watch how your mind

handles this sensation first thing

you'll notice thinking about it boy I

hate that feeling I wish it had stopped

I wish it had go away why does it have

to bother me now I really don't want it

to be there I really do want to move

every thought about the pain causes the

pain to be bigger and more intense so

you let go of the thoughts they're only

thoughts they're not even your thoughts

they're just thoughts and you relax the

tightness caused by those thoughts now

you see there's a tight mental fist

wrapped around that feeling I don't like

that feeling it hurts I don't want it to

be there but the truth is when a feeling

arises it's there that's the truth isn't

that profound when it's there it's there

so what you do with what arises in the

present moment dictates what happens in

the future karma you have a choice you

can fight that pain you can try to

resist it you can try to change it you

can try to make it different but what

are you really doing you're fighting

with the Dhamma of the present moment

you're fighting with the truth there is

pain there it's real and then I don't

like it it's like you take a real

red-hot coal and you put it in your hand

and you say oh that hurts so you try to

make it stop hurting by squeezing it and

the more you squeeze it the more it

hurts so what I'm telling you is let it

go it's just a feeling it's painful okay

so what it's still only a feeling now I

have a question for you did you ask that

painful feeling to come up did you say

you know I've been sitting here for a

while and I haven't had any pain come up

so I guess it's time for it to come up

now you try to make that pain come up no

nobody's dumb enough to do that

it comes up by itself because the

conditions are right for it to arise

what you do with what arises in the

present moment dictates what happens in

the future so you say okay that pain is

there but it's okay for it to be there

it has to be okay because it's the truth

you can't fight with the truth you can't

argue with it you can't make it any

different than what it is all you can do

is allow the truth to be and relax your

mind and your body and then come back to

a wholesome object smile well it hurts

too much I don't feel like smiling I

don't care

smile anyway you ever stub your toe how

much does that hurt

what did you do when you stubbed your

toe if you're like most people there's a

lot of unwholesome speech that happens

and a lot of hobbling around and not

liking the present moment when pain

arises in your body that pain is telling

you something that you need to recognize

for yourself when that pain arises it's

saying I hurt I need you to love me

right there right where that pain is I

need love there but what are you doing

when you stub your toe are you giving

your toe loving kindness or are you

giving your toe anger and

dissatisfaction and aversion it's real

interesting that in your body you have

this thing that's in between the two

lobes of your brain it's a little tiny

gland called the pineal gland and this

pineal gland

what its job is is to let out a

painkiller in your body

it's called endorphins it's about ten

times stronger than morphine okay it's

really a good painkiller but the only

way that pineal gland is will release

that painkiller into your body is

through having a loving kind open mind

so you stub your toe you get angry and

you keep that angry and you hobble

around and that pain stays there for a

long time the next day the day after

that the day after that you're still

hobbling around because it hurts because

you didn't put love into that you put

your dissatisfaction into that and then

every time you walk it hurts a little

bit what do you do with your mind put

more dissatisfaction in it when you do

that that closes down all the

circulation around the pineal gland it

doesn't release any endorphins so what

you want to do is send love into that

let go of those thoughts of

dissatisfaction let go of those thoughts

of aversion just wish that big toe well

I just went to Germany the night before

I went to Germany I did stub my toe and

I broke it and I sent a lot of

loving-kindness into it went up I have a

loft so I have to climb some stairs

which was not an easy thing and I laid

down and went to sleep and I didn't wake

up the whole night I didn't have any

pain arising in me I got up the next

morning I kind of hobbled around

but after two days I was walking

normally no pain you can't do anything

with a broken toe outside to put a bow

on it so you don't hit it again but you

put love into the painful thing another

thing that happens I have a wood-burning

stove I live in the forest we have a lot

of trees and a lot of wood so when

you're messing around with the

wood-burning stove

sometimes you touch a piece of metal and

you'll burn yourself it's painful but

you let the pain be there and you start

sending love into that thing that hurts

and it doesn't hurt anymore it's weird

it happened so fast

next day somebody looks at my hand and

say oh you got a big burn there and I

look and go oh I guess I do yeah I

forgot it doesn't hurt if you have the

aversion if you have the dislike then

that closes down the pineal gland that

closes down the painkiller in the body

and that will last for a long time the

pain will stay there for a week two

weeks even longer because of your

dissatisfaction and your not being aware

of how this process works

it's real interesting because when I

give a retreat I just got done giving

two-week retreat and during the retreat

I was telling everybody you know what I

want you to do most I want you to smile

I want you to laugh

and I want you to have fun now why would

I say something like that when you're

having fun you're interested in what

you're doing your progress is really

fast when that happened you're not

trying to do something you're just

having fun so it picks up your interest

and you watch a little bit more closely

and when you're smiling your mind is

light when you have joy in your mind now

this is an enlightenment factor it's not

something to be afraid of when you have

joy in your mind your mind is very alert

your mind is very agile agile means you

can see when your mind is starts to let

get heavy and you can let it go you can

allow it to be and relax into that and

smile some more and your mind is very

pure at that time that's what the Buddha

is teaching us in it how to have a pure

mind you have a pure mind when you're

mind is uplifted when you let go of the

tensions and tightness and in your head

when you relax into what you're doing

and have fun with what you're doing this

isn't a maybe I've got too many students

that are going yeah you know this stuff

really works

but it doesn't work unless you try it I

mean this isn't philosophy you have to

practice what's the easiest way to

practice smile all day I told one

student that came oh she was miserable

she was full over anger and

oh just not doing well at all

so I took her to where there was a

mirror and I gave her a little watch and

I said you have to smile for five

minutes five minutes is a long time

especially when you have a clock there

watching it you know you if you don't

have the clock you go oh this is good

okay five minutes is up but with a clock

you you know when you're fooling

yourself but why do you stand in front

of the mirror to see whether you're

smiling or not and when you see you're

not smiling then start smiling again now

what you do with that is wish yourself

happiness wish yourself a happy feeling

feel that happy feeling in the center of

your chest and wish yourself to be happy

and feel that happiness if you do that

every day for a week you will feel a

difference you'll start to feel when

your mind gets heavy and you start

getting emotional and you'll be able to

let it go and smile some more there is a

manage in Australia he wrote and told me

that he'd been doing meditation for a

long time and he just wasn't satisfied

with the end results he'd been doing it

for six or seven years he was very

successful at meditating but he said

when I get done with the meditation life

is the same I want to see what you have

to teach so I started teaching him but

he had old habits of his meditation and

he wasn't doing

well and finally I said look you're not

doing the meditation the way I'm showing

you you're just falling into your old

habits so here's what I want you to do I

don't want you to sit for seven days the

only thing you have to do is smile and

any time you feel that your mind is

getting negative laughs have fun and I

didn't hear from him for seven days and

I thought ah he's gone someplace else

and here uh finally wrote back to me and

he said you know I really took what you

said to heart and this is what I saw

when I would walk around always before

you told me to smile I always walked

down around with my head down and I was

always in a mental haze thinking this

and thinking that but when I started

smiling my posture changed a little bit

and I started looking around and you

know other people started smiling back

at me and they never do that

and other people started to come

from one thing to another it's

remembering to observe so because he was

smiling he was starting to see how his

mind got heavy and he started laughing a

little bit with that and he noticed oh

when I laugh I'm not so attached to my

thoughts and feelings I'm not so

involved with all of this thinking

nonsense that I've been doing for so

many years and then he said and now the

doctor he cut down on the drugs I was

taking drugs why are you taking drugs oh

I'm in a mental institute

why would have helped if you'd have told

me you know I had given me some idea but

they told him that when he was in the

hospital when he got admitted to the

hospital that he was going to stay there

for the rest of his life and he wasn't

gonna change and as he continued smiling

and being happy people would write to me

in a yahoo group and he would write back

to them and say you know I don't know if

this is right or not but this is what my

experience was when I spy

and the things my mind became very alert

very uplifted and very happy maybe you

can try that he became a great teacher

very much giving it advice as good as I

give or maybe even better in some cases

it was amazing just because he practice

smiling laughing when he couldn't smile

he said you know even when I didn't feel

like smiling I smiled and I felt better

there's advantage to that practice

smiling all the time and what happens in

your mind becomes lighter when your mind

is lighter you're able to see more

clearly how Minds attention gets caught

by a situation or when somebody comes up

to you when it's not time for them to

talk and you don't have time to talk

they want to continue talking or when

they come up to you and they start

telling you a whole bunch of lies or

when they come up to you and they're

angry and they're giving you their anger

what are you supposed to do with that

you don't necessarily smile with your

face but you smile with your heart

what's the definition of compassion

compassion is seeing another person in

pain allowing them the space to have

their pain and love them no matter what

doesn't matter what they say doesn't

matter what they do

now what when I started this talk I was

telling you about what you do with

somebody that comes to you and they have

anger I'll give you another instance you

go to work first thing that happens is

your boss is angry and they come at you

with their anger what do you do you take

their anger make it your anger and throw

it back at them now you're fighting now

this also happens in relationships men

and women relationships married couples

all of this and then you start talking

at the same time so you don't hear what

that other person says you only hear

what you say sound familiar

so after a little while they go away how

what do you think about it what do you

think about after you get in a fight

what they said what you said what you

sort of said and I'm right and they're

wrong that's what happens and then it

plays over again just like it was on a

tape deck same words saying it in the

same order in the same way now what

happens when somebody else walks up to

you and they start to say something to

you and they might not mean anything but

it might sound a little harsh to you you

take the anger that you have from that

past experience and you start throwing

it at them now you're having a rotten

day and then you go home and you say you

know I'm so I was such a lousy day leave

me alone

I want to be alone all I want to do is

and when you go to sleep you're tossing

and turning and you don't get good sleep

so you wake up the next morning kind of

groggy and not clear and you go to work

and if anybody says anything you snap at

them sound familiar

why did it happen like that because you

took somebody else's pain and suffering

you took their anger and you made it

your anger you caused yourself a lot of

suffering because you tried to take

somebody else's pain and you made it

your pain and you threw it back at him

but if you're compassionate if you

practice what the Buddha is teaching it

doesn't matter what that other person

says it doesn't matter at all as a

matter of fact don't even pay attention

to what they're saying you spend your

time sending loving and kind thoughts to

that person you can see them suffering

you know what it feels like to get angry

not pleasant so you have compassion for

that person and you radiate loving

kindness to that person and one of two

things will happen either they will calm

down and then you can start discussing

things in a rational way or they'll

leave walk off grumbling

occasionally people get angry and

they'll come and they'll start talking

to me and then they'll start talking to

each other and there they get really

highly emotional and they're talking at

the same time and what do I do I sit

there and just smile radiates

loving-kindness to doesn't matter what

they're talking about that's not the

real problem that's only a made-up

problem

so I radiate loving-kindness and before

long they're just starting to talk like

normal people and then they're starting

to laugh a little bit and I just keep

radiating loving-kindness to them and

after a little while they say well thank

you' bhante we got to go to work and i

didn't say a word - takes practice to be

able to do that so you practice every

day you practice smiling you practice

radiating loving-kindness to whatever

person you see and wish them well in

your mind you don't have to take another

person's pain and make it yours

as a matter of fact if you do you're

only causing yourself pain and you're

certainly not helping the situation

radiate loving-kindness now in this

particular suit though that I was

talking to you about it's called the

simile of the saw and the Buddha was

talking to monks about this he said it

doesn't matter what their what another

person does or says what matters is what

happens in your own mind he said if you

practice in this way giving

loving-kindness to other people without

any boundaries without any limits and

then sending loving-kindness to all

beings no matter what you're doing do

you think that there's anything that

another person that could the would say

that would upset your mind if you're

focusing on loving kindness doesn't

matter what somebody else says does it

he said if there were two bandits when

you're walking out alone came with a saw

and started sawing your limbs off if you

hold even one thought moment of dislike

or dissatisfaction then you're not

following what the Buddha said that's a

little radical for laymen but you get

the idea of how important it is not to

get caught up and what other people say

it's more important for you to focus

your mind on loving-kindness and wishing

them well now this is practicing your

generosity

this is practicing your morality and

when you do that your mind naturally

develops and becomes more spiritually

based it's not the practice you get from

sitting like a rock in meditation it's

the practice of radiating

loving-kindness during your daily life

so we come back to what I started

talking about smile

laughs have fun that's what life is

supposed to be we're not supposed to be

worrying about this or that somebody

wrote me an email and there were nasty

so what in your radiates loving-kindness

to that person doesn't matter what they

said what matters is what you do with

what arises in you in the present moment

well husband and wife don't agree on

something okay fine it's okay not to

agree but you can't talk at the same

time that's breaking a rule the rule is

this person talks says what they think

the other person says okay thank you

very much now this other person talks

without getting interrupted and says

what they think and then they can come

to some kind of agreement they can start

compromising a little bit and say well

maybe we can do it this way or do it

that way is that better than yelling

especially when you're yelling at the

same time and somebody else so they

don't know what you're saying but you

think they do because you said it

so you see what the Buddha is really

talking about is learning how to live in

peace and harmony all the time and when

you do how do you think you affect the

world around you don't sit with your

arms crossed please how do you affect

the world around you when you are

peaceful and calm and smiling and having

fun with everybody else around you

are you practicing the Eightfold Path at

that time you better believe it

what's a proper perspective what's right

view not taking things personally taking

interest in what you're doing in the

present moment but seeing it as part of

an impersonal process when you have

peace and calm and you're having fun

what kind of an image are you projecting

for the universe are you projecting

sadness sorrow worry anxiety a feeling

of loss a feeling of poverty or are you

holding an image of yourself where

you're having an uplifted mind and

you're able to help other people around

you in a positive way what kind of image

do you want to hold for yourself what's

right thought holding that image so it's

real important to have an image that's

not full of worry not full of anxiety

reading the newspaper reading or

watching television

you know there's a way to solve the

problem with television everybody

complains about it so negative and all

of that the way to solve it is with a

brick through the screen there is a

thing that we just saw a little while

ago that it says if you want to have a

good community turn off the television

how much time is wasted being by

yourself now you're from Sri Lanka

you know what community is community is

getting together and being with people

and helping each other that's what the

Buddha was trying to show us holding an

image that is one of hope and

helpfulness and kindness so you're

following the Eightfold Path when you

have joy when you're smiling when you're

laughing there was a nun that came to

the last retreat she was there for 10

days or so she was from the Zen

tradition and Zen tradition is very very

stern nobody smiles nobody laughs it's

just effort and that's the way they

practiced and she came to this retreat

and she saw people smiling she saw

people laughing and she finally had to

say something she said you know this is

a way retreats are supposed to be this

being over serious and and

having this heavy mind while you're

striving so hard doesn't seem to work so

well but you guys got it right this is

the way we're supposed to live with a

happy mind with an uplifted mind with a

mind that's interested in what you're

doing in the present moment and enjoying

it

oh wait how long am I supposed to talk

up to eight o'clock why don't I stop now

and ask if you have any questions what I

said was so clear that you don't have

any doubts in your mind and you're gonna

be practicing it from here on out right

I guess so

sure is quiet

you can ask I promise I won't

right

don't move in that sitting but the next

time you sit change your posture a

little bit nope

I say the next time you sit if you sit

in the same way every time and your leg

goes to sleep every time then you need

to adjust so it doesn't do that and

sometimes it means if you you get a

small pillow or even roll up a towel and

put it underneath your knee if you're

sitting on the floor or raise your leg

up a little bit if you're sitting in a

chair sometimes just that much movement

will will allow that not to happen

anymore but you don't move while you're

a city and I know how painful it is

believe me I've done many many many

retreats

what's more important to see is what

your mind does with that how your mind

doesn't like it and how you start

thinking about it I wish I'd just

stopped so I wouldn't have this problem

anymore and you see your mind do this

and becomes hard the thing is with the

Buddha's teaching he told us to do this

never this

there's a couple of different kinds of

meditation technique that are being

taught these days one of them naturally

causes your mind to do this and become

very deeply concentrated and absorbed in

an object of meditation so you don't

really see what's happening around you

very much the other kind of meditation

which is the kind that I teach it does

this and you go through different jhanas

jhanas are levels of understanding

because you're teaching yourself how to

meditate I'm not your teacher I'm a

guide all I do is keep you on the path

if you start going off the path a little

bit I'll kind of nudge in get your back

on the path the Buddha is our teacher

and I spend a lot of time reading what

the Buddha was talking about so I can be

able to explain it in words that are a

little bit easier to understand you

notice I don't use much in the way of

Pali words and I could but do you

understand Pali let's see why I don't

use it

it's much more important that you

understand the teachings of the Buddha

than it is to be attached to a

particular way of speaking about it that

you don't understand

I spent 12 years in Asia a lot of that

time was in Burma almost three years in

Burma where they were either speaking

Burmese or they were speaking in Pali

difficult experience it would have done

much better if they were speaking in

English so I could understand more

completely what they were talking about

I wish I could speak tree Lankan and I

would but I'm really lousy with

languages even English is a little tough

for me

but do you understand why you don't move

do you understand why you don't move

when you're sitting in meditation

because that way you get to see what

your mind is doing and how it doesn't

like that feeling and all of those

thoughts and you start to learn how to

let go of the thoughts and relax so you

can see that tight mental fist and allow

the feeling to be when you do that one

of two things will happen either the

pain will go away by itself or it won't

but if it doesn't you start gaining more

mental balance you know there's a

difference between meditation pain and

real pain real pain is when you sit in

meditation and this pain comes up and

finally you get up from the meditation

and you start walking and the pain

doesn't go away that's real pain if that

happens please do not sit like that

again

sit in another way so that you don't

have this physical pain that's real

arise a meditation pain is a pain that

arises and you start walking in five or

ten seconds later you forget that you

had the pain that's a meditation pain

and they can seem exactly the same while

you're City but if you're sitting and

that pain arises and it doesn't go away

if you're sitting on the floor then

don't sit on the floor anymore sit in a

chair sit so that you're comfortable so

pain doesn't arise

there's no magic in the floor you know

why they sat on the floor in Asia I

didn't have many chairs they were used

to sitting on the fundin chair they were

used to sitting on the floor now we're

getting used to sitting in chairs so sit

in a chair that's okay sit comfortably

sometimes some people would sit in a

chair one sitting and the next sitting

they'd sit on the floor

fine no problem with that as long as

you're walking in between so you get

some exercise and get your blood moving

this isn't a torture to sit in

meditation it's not supposed to be

painful even though a lot of monks talk

a lot about suffering I prefer to talk

about the cessation of suffering how to

let it go so you don't have this tension

and tightness all the time when you

learn to smile and you learn to laugh

during your daily activities you give

that smile away you give your laughter

to other people not at other people to

other people

and you have fun you're keeping your

precepts you're practicing your

generosity you come and you sit in

meditation and one day or two days you'd

be surprised at how deeply you go into

the meditation it's not a maybe I have a

lot of students that progress very

quickly when they're willing to follow

these kind of instructions it's not

painful the meditation doesn't have to

be painful at all the meditation will

teach you how to let go of pain the

meditation will teach you how to have

this uplifted mind all the time that's

what the Buddha wants us to do he wants

us to be happy practice your generosity

give with whatever you feel is

appropriate at the time you can give

with your energy you can give with your

speech you certainly can give with your

mind and radiates loving-kindness to

everybody now you're practicing what the

Buddha taught and the number of

disagreements that you have with other

people starts to become less and less I

bet it's eight o'clock

but don't believe anything that I've

said tonight please try it do it see

whether I'm right or not see whether the

boot is right or not don't believe

anything blindly if it doesn't work for

you don't do it

but if it works do it over and over

again no it has to work for not only you

but everybody else around you okay

so I believe that FEMA or Chitra gave

out the business cards that have our

website on it I have a lot of talks on

their website you can go and listen to

them

there's instruction and the meditation

if you want to join our yahoo group and

ask questions about meditation feel free

to join us there's always somebody

around that'll give answers if I'm not

there practice

be happy that's my wish for all of you

okay I'm going to share some merit now

any suffering ones be suffering free and

the fear struck fearless be me the

grieving shed all grief and may all

beings find relief may all beings share

this merit that we've thus acquired for

the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness may beings inhabiting space

and earth divas and Nagas of mighty

powers share this merit of ours may they

long protect the Buddha's dispensation

and since I came here last we have now

added a whole bunch of acreage to our

monastery we now have over a hundred

acres of land has been donated and we

are gonna be busy for a few years

getting it all fixed up if you want to

come out and visit please feel free when

I give a retreat the only time I give

quote retreats for two weeks or three

weeks or whatever is when I'm not at the

monastery when I'm at the monastery you

can come for any length of time from

four days up to six weeks or two months

whatever and practice with us and if

you're going to be there for two months

you'll already know everything after a

couple of weeks it's just a matter of

practice and we'll put you to work for

us

but you'll have fun I promise okay

you