From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=9yP2DPiqcc8

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

what kind of practice are you doing you

yeah yeah the same all of your doing

breath meditation are you following the

instructions given in the suit that's

about the breath meditation and that

means that you tranquilize on the

in-breath and you tranquilize on the

out-breath quit try

when you came I asked him to change his

meditation because actually what had

happened is he developed some habits

that weren't as good as it could be his

meditation wasn't progressing like he

wanted to so I hadn't changed over to

the loving-kindness meditation for a

couple of reasons the first reason being

it's a completely different kind of

meditation than he was used to so his

old habits didn't count anymore and your

progress in meditation is much faster

with loving-kindness meditation than it

is with any other kind of meditation

that you could do I mean much faster by

Oh two or three times faster

now a lot of people have an idea that

when you do loving-kindness meditation

that you're not following what the

Buddha taught and meditation and you're

not practicing the possible meditation

and that's not true loving-kindness

meditation and the Brahma mejores is

mentioned oh well over a hundred times

in the soup is mindfulness of breathing

is mentioned eight times which do you

think he taught most when you practice

loving-kindness meditation you're

actually starting at the beginning of

the Brahma be hardens and it's real

interesting because the Brahma be Horace

will take you very deep into your

meditation and it gives you a different

kind of understanding than you would get

with any other kind of meditation

the mindfulness of breathing meditation

is more of an intellectual kind of

meditation and the loving-kindness

meditation is more a feeling when you

practice love and kindness you start by

remembering the time when you were happy

and you have that warm glow a feeling

and then you make a wish now the mistake

that almost everybody makes when they're

teaching loving kindness is that they

want you to make like it says in the

desert imago you have to make for wishes

may I be happy may I be free from mental

suffering they had be free from physical

suffering may I do well happy and people

those are the four wishes you have to me

but actually that's very dry and you

wind up repeating these statements over

and over again and not pay attention to

your meditation so what happens is the

kind of meditation you wind up doing is

a one pointed absorption kind of

concentration which means away from what

the Buddha was talking about collects

explain that in

but when you're making a wish for your

happiness or someone else's happiness

you want to feel the wish you wish

somebody if they're going through a very

confusing uncentered period of time then

you make a wish for their mind to be

clear but you know what it feels like to

have a clear minded then you take that

feeling and you put it in your heart and

radiate that feeling to your friends or

if they're going through a very agitated

period of time you make a wish for their

peace and comb you know what it feels

like to be peaceful and calm bring that

feeling into your heart you can't give

something some somebody something that

you don't have yourself it really makes

a big difference

the more you can make a wish and radiate

that with the more effect you have on

the person your sentiment the more

helpful you are towards that person and

you're developing your own mind at the

same time

when you take your spiritual friend that

somebody of the same sex that you

respect and like very much and put them

in your heart that you surround them

with this feeling and you radiate that

feeling give them a hard look the more

you can do that the quieter your mind be

guns the longer you start staying with

your object of meditation and the less

distractions there are distractions

entrances

hindrances are not your enemy to fight

with or control or to do anything with

when a hindrance arises what you need to

do is allow the space for that hindrance

to be there without any resistance in

your mind or in your body so when a

hindrance arises let's say you have a

physical sensation arrives your knee

hurts your back hurts the tailbone hurts

wherever the sensation arises what is

your mind do when that it first arises

what happens is you first start thinking

about the field

why is it there why didn't go i wish you

would go away it just it always happens

when i sit for a certain period of time

i always get this every thought about

that feeling makes the feeling better

and more intense so the first thing you

have to learn to do is let the thoughts

about the feeling go the dirt how do you

let the thoughts go by not keeping your

attention on them and then you relax the

tension or tightness caused by those

thoughts the tension and tightness

arises in your head in your brain I

happen to have one right here now yeah

you have to Lopes right there's a

membrane goes around each one every time

there's a thought it contracts every

time there's and disturbance it

contracts when you relax you feel open

feel expansion and what you notice is

right after you do that there is no fuss

there's only this line that's very alert

very clear and pure why because you have

just let go of craving craving always

manifest as tension and tightness in

your mind and in your body Westerners

like to think of their body being from

the neck down but actually it's from the

head down

and this is where the tightness is most

easily recognized

every thought causes tension and

tightness to arise in your mind and

I when you intentionally relax that feel

expansion and clarity

next what you'll notice is there is a

tight mental fist wrapped around that

sensation if want to cough whatever it

happens to be obtained some wherever the

truth is when the sensation arises it is

there that's the truth that's the dump

when it when it arises it's there that's

we're found out what you do with what

arises in the present moment dictates

what happens in the future if you resist

that sensation if you try to make that

sensation different than it is if you

try to change it in any slight wave you

can look forward to that sensation

getting bigger and more intense until

you can't stand it and you have to do

something

but when you allow the space for that

sensation to be there it's okay for that

sensation to be there it has to be okay

because that's the truth it's there when

you allow the space for that sensation

to be there then you'll notice that you

can relax into that and your mind

becomes clear now

I teach everybody to smile and I teach

them to smile for very good reason

because when you smile your mind is more

uplifted more alert you have joy arise

much more easily and joy is one of the

Enlightenment factors so it's a

necessary part of the practice when you

relax and then you smile you're bringing

up a wholesome object now you take that

smile and you bring it back to your

object of meditation and you keep

repeating this over and over again

staying with your object of meditation

now what I just talked to you about was

right effort

unwholesome state arose that sensation

you will allow the space for that

sensation to be in your relax you bring

out the wholesome object smile and come

that back to your object of meditation

and you continue on with your object

meditation

one of the things that can happen if you

don't have the remarks step is that you

start trying a little bit too hard and

you wind up giving yourself somewhat of

a headache anyone that is giving

themselves a headache nice trying too

hard and trying to control what's

happening in the present instead of

allowing it to be there is the I want it

to be the way I want it to be any time

there's identification with thoughts and

feelings that is the source of suffering

the more you can relax into these

thoughts and feelings allowing them to

be but not feeding them with your

attention the easier it is to let go of

juice disturbances

now because loving kindness is a feeling

but one of the things about practicing

loving kindness kindness meditation

because it is a feeling meditation you

become very sensitive to feeling when it

rises and you can see mine starting to

grab on to it and it's much easier to

recognize it and let it be relax into

that now a lot of you are practicing

mindfulness of breathing every time

there's a distraction you have to allow

that distraction to me there relax into

that before coming back to your object

of meditation that's the breath and

relaxing not over focusing on the breath

the breath is the reminder to relax

if you don't relax the distraction and

you come back to your object of

meditation you're bringing craving back

into your object of meditation and it

takes a lot longer to let go of that

craving that's a lot more work harder

when you're practicing loving-kindness

meditation you also have to relax but

it's much easier to recognize because

you're teaching yourself to recognize

the feelings and you become much more

sensitive to feeling and you start

recognizing when the tightness or

tension starts to arise and let it be

without getting distracted away from

your object of meditation the whole

point of meditation is not to gain the

concentration it's not to be in some

kind of spiritual mystical magical

experience the whole point of meditation

is to learn

learn what learn how mine's attention

moves from one thing

what's your definition of mindfulness I

want an answer what's your definition of

Mike

keep it going

keeping something in my back

another being completely aware of what

of everything that's everything

everything yourself okay another you can

on this sector you can she can I'll give

you a definition of mindfulness

mindfulness is remembering to observe

how minds attention moves from one thing

to another being aware is kind of like

that but it's such a general term that

is confusing and how many times do you

hear somebody if you ask and what

mindfulness is they'll tell you it means

to be mindful I spend a lot of time when

I give a retreat in giving definitions

so that you understand simple terms like

what is delusion

it's being diluted right now what does

it mean delusion means taking whatever

arises personally it is where your mind

grabs on to it says this is me this is

mine that's a deluded mind when you let

go of delusion you start seeing things

in an impersonal way you're starting to

see things as part of a process instead

of this being mean this is mine this is

who I am anytime you take something

personally your mind is deluded at that

time okay simple word wisdom what's that

mean

everybody's got to be wise what is

wisdom mean I'm sure very talkative

divine wisdom means being able to see

and understand how dependent origination

works when you develop your wisdom you

are seeing for yourself firsthand how

dependent originally

so you see there's a lot of words that

everybody is supposed to know what it

means but the Buddha had very specific

definitions he didn't have general

definitions these are very specific

when a feeling arises in your body it's

either pleasant or it's painful or it's

neither painful more pleasant that's

what feeling is it doesn't have anything

to do with emotion it's feeling is just

a feeling right after a feeling arises

craving arises what is craving it always

manifests as tension and tightness in

your mind and in your body craving is

the I like it I don't like it might if

it's a pleasant feeling I like it if

it's a painful feeling I don't like it

it squeezes just as tight either way but

that's the start of the personality

belief at the craving right after that

the clinging horizons and that's all

your concepts your opinions your ideas

and the story about why you like or

dislike that feeling and then your

habitual tendency cakes every time this

kind of feeling arises I always think

that I always act that way and then you

have the birth of action and then you

have sorrow lamentation pain grief and

despair what did I just tell you I just

told you exactly how it then an

origination worse

now the beauty of the hindrances is that

that's where your deluded mind is every

time a hindrance arises guess who's

identifying with it who doesn't like it

who wants it to be different than it is

who wants to control it I now every time

you let a hindrance be and relax that

tension and tightness caused by the

distraction and come back to your object

meditation after starting to smile every

time you do that you are experiencing

the cessation of suffering

that's that their noble truth you get to

experience the third noble truth many

thousands many hundreds of thousands of

times before enlightenment occurs some

people even say Millions depends on the

person the thing with the hindrance is

that it is there to teach you where your

attachment is it is there to show you

that 8 there's a wrong belief in this

and as always I am that now when you're

practicing loving-kindness meditation

you get attacked by the hindrances just

like any other panda meditation but when

you're practicing loving-kindness

meditation I'm telling people

continually on retreat you've got a

smile I don't want you sitting without

smiling I don't want you walking around

without smiling and she's got one of the

little sour face is going why don't you

son telling me right now okay smile look

at how it make sure my feel your mind is

alert your mind is much more aware of

what's happening in the present moment

because of that spun

you want to improve your mindfulness you

want to know what mindfulness really

truly is don't sit in meditation for a

week all you gotta do is from the moment

you wake up until the moment you go to

bed his smile and everything all the

time your mindfulness will get so

incredibly sharp and your understanding

will deepen so fast that you'll be

amazed and look at how you're affecting

the world around you when you smile make

sense doesn't it now there are going to

be times during that week when you're

not going to feel like smiling I don't

kick it's like anyway even a fake smile

has its advantages you go through an

emotional period where you're angry at

somebody or disappointed or you're

frustrated or whatever if you smile into

that your mind looks at you and says no

I'm mad I'm not gonna I'm not happy but

then your mind keeps looking at your

smiling boy

maybe I'm supposed to be happy so then I

will be and you can let go of your

attachment very quickly that what is

attachment i am that i am those thoughts

i am those feelings I'm angry at this

person or that person whatever now the

other part of this is you gotta learn to

laugh at how crazy your mind is welcome

to the human race we all crazy every

time we take something personally we are

crazy at that moment I'm mad I'm

frustrated I'm sad your mind is

as really causing a lot of pain and

suffering when you develop the ability

to recognize when you are really caught

and start to laugh with it you're not

caught any more you go from i'm mad i'm

sad I'm angry too well it's only this

it's only this anger that's only the

sadness what's that I don't mean to hold

on to that and that's actually what

happens in your mind so what if you what

are you doing by learning to smile

you're developing right effort you're

developing your mindfulness

in your daily life

too many times people think that

meditation is about sitting like like

Buddha image here without moving that's

meditation no that's part of it how

about the other ninety five percent of

the day when you're not sitting very

still does that mean you don't have to

meditate it that done not hardly it

means going to be meditating all the

time watch what your mind is doing

what's the easiest way to get to see

what your mind is doing money it works

but

it really does work

and you'll get to a place where your

mind is so serious as I did by don't

want to smile this is serious stuff like

that some students actually get angry at

me because I told them they needed to

smile this is I can't smile about this

and you know what my reaction is laughs

that's one of the most funny things I've

ever run across look at how attached you

are to this stuff look at how you're

taking all this stuff personally and

causing yourself immeasurable pain you

don't need to do that to yourself you

can laugh and you can smile and you can

be happy or not your choice and you're

the only one that can choose that for

you one of the things that I truly love

about Buddhism is the self

responsibility

I had a student not too long ago that

started blaming all external things for

their pain

I wrote back to him and I said

well you're really good at complaining

but when are you going to start taking

responsibility for yourself instead of

blaming external things for your

happiness when you gotta wake up to the

fact that you can take it personally you

can take it seriously and you can make

yourself suffer like anything or not

when are you going to be responsible for

yourself you can't blame outside

influences for your happiness yeah we go

through ups and downs so see one of the

things that it was a major thing that

Hugh learned was equanimity the balance

of mind and he was absolutely shocked by

it well you can have all this stuff

happen some of its real positive and

real uplifting and some of its not

that's okay either way how you going to

learn your lessons if you're going to be

completely controlled by your emotions

and your emotions have how much craving

in them and how much concepts you know

we think in concepts what is this that's

cup where is the cut his place is the

color

the handle where is the cup cup is a

concept it's made up of a lot of

different little things to make this

concept up everything that we think

about is in concepts what the Buddha was

trying to get us to do was not recognize

things that has memory in it that's

perception perception is the thing that

brings concepts up because that's the

naming part of your mind he was trying

to get us to cotton itís things in other

words seeing them as they arise before

they're named naming its involved with

these things then that's one step

further away from being in the present

moment and old habits are hard to let go

up graham it you always think and and

see things in the same way and you're

used to it I've been cleaning a garage

and it's incredibly dusty and dirty

when you come back something that means

you see it in the present moment your

mindfulness is exceptionally sharp but

when you have developed the ability of

seeing when something comes up really

got me

when you develop to see

to recognize when contact arises contact

is good working hi there's color and

form the good working i hits the color

and form I consciousness arises the

meeting of these three things is called

eye contact when you're able to see eye

contact you will see a feeling arise

feeling is going to be pleasant or

unpleasant in neutral if you relax rate

that you are going to see what you're

looking at without any distraction at

all

what is the distraction craving clinging

that's your conceptual thinking about

things your opinions your ideas and your

identification this is me who's doing

this this is mine and then your habitual

tendency starts kicking in every time I

see something like that i always act

this way and then you have your birth of

action and the sorrow and lamentation

and all the rest when you're able to

cognize things that means that you're

seeing before the grading arises and

then you see what happens before the

craving and you let go of the craving

you see it completely without being

distracted by it for instance you

wouldn't distinguish the colors because

that's into your perception you would

see the form you would allow that

feeling to arise it's a pretty form okay

and you relax into it now if you don't

then your mind contracts and then you

start thinking about how you like this

all these colors are really beautiful

I've always liked colors like that now

are you in the present moment when

you're thinking about this no

you're removed from the present moment

and what happens in your mind as you

start thinking well you know I used to

have a cup like this I really liked it

oh I remember I had a friend that had

some cuts like this that were it was

great and all of a sudden you're a

thousand miles away you're not in the

present moment at all anymore it's

really interesting and when people come

and do well on the retreat that they go

out into the desert or they go home and

they start noticing things being

brighter being clearer because they

haven't got the clouding inking

conceptual mind arising so much anymore

and as a result you wind up truly

enjoying seeing something or listening

to something you do it completely

because you haven't got any distraction

comparing this doing that taking your

mind all the way away and then coming

back occasionally and going oh I like

this music yeah I heard that once before

in Bella you see what happened so when

you get into the present moment you

completely are with the present moment

you can enjoy the present moment there's

nothing wrong with enjoying thing but

when that present moment changes to

something else then you're with that

completely there's no attachment because

there's no crazy

so that's what smiling all the time does

for you it makes you more and more alert

more and more clear when feeling arises

now one of the psychological testing

there's all kinds of stuff that's

happening now on the internet they're

talking about smiling in the advantages

how laughing changes your hormones and

makes you happy and and make sure you

healthy and does it people overcome all

kinds of diseases I mean there's all

kinds of weird things that they're

writing about a lot but the corners of

your mouth when they go up so does your

mental state now what do I talk about

with smiling I'm talking about smiling

with your mind most important smiling

with your eyes let the smile come

through that makes it more genuine a

little smile on your lips it doesn't

have to be a big toothy grin although

sometimes you're having so much fun it

turns into that also smiling in your

heart

the thing with meditation is there's not

just City okay the Buddha said the

meditation it's three different things

practicing your generosity how do you

practice your generosity you got a smile

given away you have kind thoughts for

somebody else tell them thank kind but

act in ways that make other people happy

and do it all the time not just once in

a while you know right now the economies

are everything really crazy and as

always people that are so much into

their fear and all our anxiety they have

such a limited view of the universe that

they're afraid of losing material things

you want to be prosperous you practice

your generosity all the time not just

once in a while practice your generosity

saying things that make other people let

go of their fear bring them into the

present moment you get what should give

so you want to be happy you want to be

prosperous then give it away and hold on

to this stuff you've got to give it away

the more you can give away your smile

the more you affect the world around you

in a positive way the more you get

caught up in your fear and anxiety of oh

my god what's going to happen next what

are you practicing at that time what are

you giving away at that time it happens

in a negative way as well as a positive

way we're all giving one way or another

but you give your dissatisfaction your

dislike your criticism your hatred well

guess what you're going to get back

because that's what you're giving you

start changing that and you start giving

your smile and you start saying things

that make other people happy you start

doing things that make other people

happy and you think kindly of other

people

guess what you're going to get back

doesn't that make you prosperous more

than wounded the universe wants to give

you what you want if you got to practice

in the right way to get the next part of

the meditation is taking and keeping

your presets can't be understated the

precepts breaking the precepts are wide

you have n rinses arrives why is that

because when you break a preset it

causes a guilty mind to arise and guess

who's identifying with that guilty month

guess who's taking it personal guess was

not being mindful in the present

you don't kill living beings on purpose

doesn't mean you can t eat but you are

not physically killing you don't have

the intention to kill you don't take

anything that's not given you don't have

any wrong sexual activity wrong sexual

activity the sexual activity with

another person's mate or sexual activity

with not with your meat how about that

that's better

not having sexual activity with somebody

that's too young still under the care of

their parents or guardians not having

sexual activity by paying for it the

prostitute

pretty easy

during the time of the Buddha there's a

lot of kings around they had more than

one life and that was okay because the

laws of the land you have to follow and

that's basically what are you say

you don't tell lies even little white

lights it's better not to say anything

that is to say away by you don't curse

and this is one of the shockers of this

culture is cursing is becoming so

popular that it's starting to wind its

way into everybody speech and it is

course and it is hurtful it's not

pleasant to the ear somebody's somebody

saying the f words all the time or we

have a dog that we call her the F word

all the time let's go food eater so till

we call her food that's one of the four

letter f words it's okay just let go

back in pirate condition and that's an

external excuse

but using your speech in a way that

brings people together that doesn't

divide people that's harmonious that

people when they hear what you have to

say they want to go yeah that was really

good I want to know break that down

that's good stuff and don't gossip what

is gossip gossip is sitting around

talking about somebody else is not there

and making up these outrageous stories

about them that aren't true and saying

it like it is true I have some relatives

that are absolutely brilliant at it

bores me to tears listening to the talk

because I know everything they're saying

it's just win booing hitting the year

I'm not taking any drugs or alcohol oh

but I like to have a wine now on then we

went through this on the retreat there

is one lady that she insisted that every

now and then I'm gonna drink wine I

don't care she did the retreat the year

before or meditation was very good she

kept drinking the wine knowing she was

breaking the preset she came to the

retreat and the first part of her

retreat was absolutely ported well it's

not such a big deal breaking this

precept yeah I did

you want to have a good retreat you want

to have good progress in your spiritual

life you know what the rules are if you

break them you feel guilty what's only a

little thing there's no such thing as a

little thing it will affect your

meditation negatively

in Malaysia there was some people that

they really like to do their their wine

Oh occasional beer every now and then

and every time I saw them they had a

beer in their hand and they wanted to

learn meditation and they had an

absolutely terrible time all of these

hindrances coming up my mind it doesn't

calm down sit stop drinking oh but that

doesn't matter yeah it does it dulls

your mind it makes the hindrances or

rise and then you have to work through

that purify yourself until the

hindrances stop coming up so much only

then are you able to progress in your

meditation I know it's real popular have

a wine with a meal are getting ready to

go out or whatever but it's not worth it

if you keep these Five Precepts without

breaking them

your progress in meditation will be so

fast that it will blow your mind I can

give you an example and there was a lady

that in Malaysia that she would not

break a preset for any reason at all she

was really nice it was fun to be around

because she was such an uplifted person

and she came to me and she said I think

I want to learn how to meditate so

there's one a meditation retreat coming

up on the weekend and the first day I

gave her every the instructions after

lunch I came around said well how's your

meditation blowing kisses that seems to

be going pretty good how long were you

sitting I can only sit for about 45

minutes only why don't you sit longer

well you know I'm not used to sitting on

the floor and it's killing my legs and

that's as long as I can last so I said

well then don't sit on the floor there's

no magic in the floor sit in a chair

with your back nice and straight our

next city was four hours she got into

the first jhana the first day of her

retreat

why did that happen because she wouldn't

consider breaking princess that's how

you get fast progress

it really works and that's one of the

things of unisex keeping you're keeping

your precepts as closely as you possibly

can make your mind clear it your mind

becomes tranquil very quickly when you

do that and I also had this clown and in

Malaysia that said okay okay you've

convinced me how long do I have to do

this I said well we'll start it a

hundred years and go up from there

so keeping the precepts what it really

does is it makes you more and more aware

of what you're going to do before you do

it and if you see that that's going to

leave the year suffering and pain that

don't do it

it's a way to improve your general

mindfulness

do we have a time when is Sir is there a

time schedule that we're kicking usually

we end at eight o'clock oh well I got a

long time yeah well my training as a

monk happened really and I was nineteen

ninety-five when I was invited to a huge

monastery in Malaysia is the biggest

tera vaada monastery in all Malaysia it

was in Kuala Lumpur and the head monk

with Sri Lanka and he was used to giving

an hour and a half for to our talk every

Friday night he's getting old he asked

me to come and he said every other week

I want you to give it up and I said well

ok I can do that I was real good at

preparing talks in that sort of thing at

the time but he started at the first day

of the range retreat there's like all

there must have been fifteen hundred

people there and he started talking

about my spinning Marines retreat there

and how happy he was then then he turns

to me and he said why don't you give the

talk an hour and a half will do and I

haven't prepared anything it had to be

hour and a half then I went okay i guess

i could be back and i did but it was

really hard and since then i got in the

habit of doing hour and a half two hours

sometimes a little bit longer talks and

I gets open for doing long talks all the

time why don't you just do an hour

that's plenty but there's so much more

to talk about anyway one of the things

that's really important to understand is

we have five aggregates that make up

this mind and body process you have a

physical body you have feeling pleasant

unpleasant neutral yeah perception the

naming part of your mind memory is

involved with that we have thoughts they

also call this sankar azure formations

but when I start out teaching people i

will say thoughts because it's more

easily understood when we go deeper in

the meditation we could change over to

formations and you have consciousness

now when an unpleasant feeling arises

what we wind up doing naturally is

trying to think our feeling and the more

you think you're feeling the bigger and

more intense the feeling becomes

that's why I said the instructions in

what you do when a sensation arises in

your body the first thing you do is let

go of your thoughts about it if you

don't that feeling you'll get bigger and

more intense ask people to do the

sweeping meditation and they take their

attention put it right in the middle of

that sensation what about what happens

when that sensation when you do that boy

that gets big I want to tell you and

your mind goes wah I don't like that

when I'm going to stay there and I'm

going to grit my teeth and keep with

that sensation that's not the Buddhist

teacher he did not encourage people to

grip their teeth and bear it he

encouraged people to softly openly

lovingly accept what happens in the

present

see there's a difference between doing

this with your mind and doing that which

one do you want to practice which one do

you think is easier which one is more

fun

I know fun is not about word that people

that practice meditation used very much

I do because I want your meditation to

be fun if it's not fun that means you're

not very interested in it and if you're

not interested in that you're not going

to see things as clearly as you can so

you make it fun I mean think about when

you went to college and you had a class

that you really liked was it fun did you

mind studying in that class no because

it was fun because it was interesting

well the meditations the same the more

interest in the more fun you can have

while you're meditating the better you

do and the more alert your mind becomes

it's not amazing this is a for real

thing the Buddha talked about interest a

lot and how important it is when you

make learning fun then you get so

excited that you want to go sit how many

times have you had that happen you know

I don't want to talk now I gotta go sit

it's great

and that happens when you practice with

this relaxed step with the step of

letting go of the craving why because

you're teaching yourself exactly how

dependent origination works that's where

your insights are that's where your oh

wows get really strong oh wow I never

looked at it like that before I never

really paid that close of attention when

the Buddha was talking about in sight he

was always mentioning it with serenity

serenity Sal meta in pali summit

practice means tranquility practice it

means being in dijana

now he said that insight and tranquility

need to be evenly yoked together if the

tranquility is too strong then think

about a couple of oxen that are yoked

together and one of them is a lot more

enthusiastic and strong than the other

what happens when one of them gets too

strong start going in circles and it

happens the other way to encircle if you

want to go on the straight line they

have to be evenly balanced they have to

be pulling the weight in the same way so

your insights and your tranquility grow

together when you start recognizing how

the process of dependent origination

work and the thing that's really amazing

is there are a lot of teachers that

start talking about dependent

origination I'll always preface it by

saying this is hard to understand you

know this is beep this is not any simple

thing and they try to explain it in such

a way that it's really hard to

understand and as Saudi that you don't

know what they're talking about but it's

simple

as long as the Buddha said if you want

to understand it in an origination you

have to give your you have to listen

you're not going to be able to figure it

out by yourself but when you start

listening to Donna talks with people

that really do understand it in an

origination and can talk about it in

practical ways then your mind starts

going oh yeah I've seen that now I can

recognize hey this is fun this is good

stuff and as you go deeper because of

your giving here and listening your

understanding and your wisdom grow so

fast it really makes the meditation

exciting and you don't hear that being

described that way very often you don't

hear about my meditation is so great I

don't want to talk to you I want to go

sip this stuff is so interesting it just

blows my mind that happens on a dream

done it

it's fun to learn and that's the essence

of the Buddhist practice I had a friend

in Malaysia they came up to me and it

said you know I've been practicing the

same channel for seven years you want me

to Janet for you said sure didn't listen

to it sorry chanted for 15 or 20 minutes

and he got done a nice entry it was nice

what does it mean anyway mean yeah

you've been doing the same thing over

and over for seven years you must know

what the meaning is he said no no no

it's the sound that's important than the

feeling coming from that and I said I

can give you a sound and a feeling all

you have to do is repeat banana over and

over again at least you know what a

banana is don't you do something if you

don't understand what you're doing don't

follow anything blindly because

everybody else says you're supposed to

do it try it for yourself see whether

it's right or not the question I asked

almost everybody that comes for retreat

is do you think you're on the right back

when they're doing the relaxed step and

they're smiling they always say yes I

really feel like this is the one I had a

friend come for the last retreat that

even

he meditated a lot longer than nine out

I've been doing it for 35 years and he's

been doing it for over 40 but he's been

doing all different kinds of meditations

and that sort of thing is kind of played

the field as it works so I gave him the

loving-kindness meditation and he was

having a very difficult time and after

about the third day I said you know it's

just not right for you doing

loving-kindness meditation I want you to

switch over and start doing my influence

of breathing he got this big sigh of

relief okay with his first city he got

into the first job next day comes for

the interview he'd already gotten in the

fourth job that's pretty amazing stuff

he was understanding what he was doing

and now everything just started coming

together now you've done all of these

other practices before it's not that

it's a waste of time to do another

practice not ever but when you add this

relax step and the smiling into your

meditation it changes the meditation and

you start going with deep and you start

understanding and all of the 40 or 45

years of practice that he's been doing

of hearing this part of the Dhamma and

that part of the dominant that part of

the Dhamma now it all went oh this is

all interconnected this is all amazing

I'm understanding this stuff now just by

adding those

two extra things smiling and relax yes

do you think we might try so meditation

Oh can if you want it's up to you there

was a I gave a talk last night at mutant

thief unitarian universalist church and

one of the ladies went home and she was

so inspired about smiling and relaxing

she's been practicing Zen and she added

the smile and relax that step do it he

said I never felt so good before and she

went to sleep and she slept really

soundly and she got up happy and she

said well I'm gonna try this i'm going

to try smiling all day she SAT again and

all of a sudden the meditation was

making sense the rigidity of the Zen

practice started disappearing for her

and we got a chance to talk to her and

see how she was doing and she was really

happy that's the whole point of doing

content being so that your observation

power becomes from there till you start

seeing more and more little things that

you've never seen before and that means

that your journey yeah

the curious but loving kindness

and I think I understand the first step

and your spirit friend embracing your

spirit prints and is does my spirit

friend with my spirit rent be the focus

of my meditation for the full medication

or your spiritual friend you stay with

the same one all the time now this is

very throughout if I have an hour of sit

and I'm continually focused on that's

right now you have to understand that

this is a training process and after you

get to a certain depth and your

meditation i will change it so that you

started radiating to other different

kinds of beings and then eventually

towards obvious and in that can happen

in a series of a retreat in over two

weeks people can go through the whole

entire barrier system ok but like when

he trained me i was doing a lot of

things and training i was with the same

spiritual friend for a year and then i

started moving through but it's a

building up of morocco is just the

training

through each one of them fully and

completely so it's different one thing I

wanted to add is sometimes when the mind

wanders and come back to the loving

kindness sometimes has to generate that

loving kindness for yourself again and

get that going and before you get

started to come back here spiritual town

so that's just part of the natural

process of that particular practice the

concentration is staying on that person

but sometimes the mine doesn't do that

and it gets important that we come back

you get that going rights like you said

the first step is to take your friend

and do that ok the first rep really is

to build build it up in your card and

get it really going and then take your

friend or sent it to yourself first and

then bring your friend and give them a

heart hug and start working with your

friend so just like these three things

and if you have trouble bringing that

feeling of loving kindness back you're

not smiling just that's how many times

have I said that somebody comes I just

can't feel this you're not smiling now

it's all there is to it the more you

smile the easier it is to radiate that

kind loving

once or anything no station spiritual

friend all the time thank you I have

children I want to rotate me I don't

want you to do your children I want you

to do a spiritual friend as a spiritual

trim is someone of the same sex and they

are alive but not a family member to

start off with why one of the children

you're going to go sit in meditation and

they do something you don't like how

much lemon kindness will use been good

with them at that time or how much it's

been with your loving dissatisfaction

see so you don't want anybody should

close to start off with one to be a real

friend so it's someone with my tank

gender yeah and a life that I know yeah

and why is it the same why does it

because lust comes up and infatuation

happens and it causes all kinds of

problems and and generally speaking it's

easier to send loving and kind thoughts

to a nun then it would be too afraid

because a nun if they're developing

their mind correctly they are very kind

and

and it's very easy to respect them I'm

not giving her a plug there are thinking

wow that's cool we're not going to feel

great this week and she gets that way

then you can start sending just put her

down a third offer or ego trip there but

in Asia that is very easy because there

are a lot of funds and they are very

very easy to appreciate their good

qualities but if you can't think of one

and then pick a friend but make that

friend someone that you truly respect

and really do wish them and stay with

that same person all of your time

you'll get to your kids eventually but

only after you've gained a degree of

equanimity so this is a training period

that it's not going to last forever some

sometimes when people come and they

start practicing living kindness

meditation sometimes it might take four

or five days before they start changing

things sometimes it's a little bit

longer it's a little bit less

just depends on the individual and how

well they follow the directions

and you understand these are not my

directions these are directions from the

Buddha it showed us exactly how to

meditate what I do when I give a dama

talk as I wind up reading the suta to

you so you know it's not coming from me

I might explain something here or there

but you know that this is what the

Buddha was saying is the teacher I'm not

a teacher I'm a guy

you can start going off the path I can

say been there done that try this one

okay

so you want to sit for 15 minutes how's

that

let her have a chance to

clean up the body

would you like

yeah sure that's okay okay the true

easier on your legs when you do that

then we don't then yeah well it's

pulling forward and it's it's cutting

off the circulation on your legs and all

kinds of stuff when I give a retreat

there's a lot of people that start

sitting on the floor and after a while

just about everybody sitting in the

chair there's no magic and before the

reason that everybody sits on the floor

is because in Asia it having chairs they

grew up sitting on the floor and when

you grow up sitting on the floor it

changes your hips a little bit so it's

really comfortable to sit on for well

guess what how many people here have

been sitting on the Florida since they

were a little tiny kid know who you're

always you're used to sitting in a chair

it's fine sit in a chair you're

comfortable sitting on the floor that's

fine sit on the floor there's no magic

in either one

the magic comes in

ok

still have to wait

when you sit you see how you're sitting

here sitting nude shoulders forward and

that closes your heart when I sit with

your chest up and your back nicely

straight and that starts to open up your

party

and for an awful lot of people that sit

on the floor they sit on a pillow so

they have an angle like that it's a lot

more comfortable I think this is your

first time ever city don't move your

body when we start

if your spiritual friend remember a time

when we really happy

in the center of your chest that feeling

it arises then you make a wish for your

own happiness any wish you make you want

to be able to feel that when you feel

that which with that feeling in the

center of your files and radiate that

feeling tears

it doesn't matter how many times your

mind gets distracted thoughts are not

your enemy to try to crush or stop

notice that your mind is thinking about

something and simply let go of the

thought relax the tension and tightness

in your

and gently smile and come back to

rating and loving kindness to yourself

if your mind wanders 20 times during the

city and 20 times you notice the German

wanna let it be relaxed came back to

your meditation that is a good

meditation it's active to eat it

after about five minutes of radiating

loving kindness to yourself then you

want to start reading

spirit

spiritual friend is someone of the same

sex and they are alive

a spiritual friend is someone that

their good qualities so you're sending

love

feel that being said call as I feel as I

wish it's beautiful

you please

put them right in the middle of your

heart

around your heart

sit with your back

straight

one vertebra

sent in a relaxed way

straight

this can cause sensations to arise

sometimes it's called sometimes it can

be heat or vibration or pain as soon as

you notice your mind is called to that

sensation first let go of your thoughts

about the sensation

let go of that tight mental fist around

that sensation and wow that sensation to

be there

they smile and bring that

when you're sitting you want to sit with

your eyes

reason you sit with your eyes closed

just because any

and all

insect because your mind to start

looking at it

runs away

tones don't fingers don't scratch

her posture set things straight

this is a smiley

what to smile

your eyes even

the little smile

thanks in the smile

anytime you see you're not smiling

don't criticize yourself just start over

if you want to try doing this meditation

I would suggest going to my website

there is instructions that are more

detail than what I just

and when you sit you try to sit for 30

minutes without moving your body for any

reason at all you're going to sit you

can move as much as he does now if you

do this because you start recognizing

that your mind wants to distract you in

one way or another so it will cause some

Oh sensations to arise and all of a

sudden you're doing this and you don't

even recognize it you're not seeing that

your mind is having a reaction to what

is happening in the present moment

instead of a response of seeing that

allowing it to be and relaxing into that

but when you start sitting sit for at

least 30 minutes that's not very long

when you're sitting is good sit longer

if you have the time but don't sit for

any less than 30

there's times when 30 minutes seems like

it's four hours and there's times when

30 minutes seems like it's less than a

minute it all depends on your calmness

at the time

the hindrances that arise

remember that your entrances are not

your enemy to fight with the hindrance

is just a friend coming to let you know

where your attachments are so welcome

them like an old friend I can laugh at

that because I know how hard it is your

attachments can be real amazing

sometimes everything gets so serious

anytime you see your mind being serious

during the day your mind is telling you

right then right there guess who has an

attachment here guess who's trying to

control the universe and make it be the

way you want it to be I mean that's fine

who's identifying with it who's trying

to make things be the way you want them

to be who's causing themselves suffering

and

that can be incredibly hilarious when

you start developing your sense of humor

about how crazy your mind is and how it

thinks that this is really important and

I gotta pay attention to it and I have

to act this way because I'm that

you know life is supposed to be fun

and any kind of it's not we're not doing

it right so you got any questions

comments statements anything yeah life

is fun yeah however there are some great

losses that wouldn't Oh better had that

happen my mother just died not too long

ago that I wasn't feeling much like

laughing at the time it's all right I

assume to allow that sadness of course

you have to allow whatever feeling or

rises to be there because that's the

truth what do you do with that if you

grab on to the sadness because you've

lost somebody very dear and you get into

your dislike of the situation and wish

it would change and wish it didn't

happen you can look forward to that same

feeling coming up over and over again

and causing more and more pain because

whose pain is it it's mine and I don't

like it I don't want it to be like this

that the truth is pain is going to be

there sometimes tears are going to be

there and it's okay it's all right there

all of that to be there because that's

the truth but you really

x into that and you kind of develop that

little smile in your mind yeah this is

happening and it's okay for it to happen

that way you don't get attached to the

dislike and what happens with quite

often that when you talk with people in

the hospice people that are really

attached and they really fight the death

and they really are said and they really

every time you see them they're sad

because of that well within a year two

years they're going to have some kind of

major physical problem because of that

attachment the truth is pain arises

sometimes and you have to allow it to be

there but you don't have to allow it

from a version you will allow it from

loving acceptance I've told this story

quite a few times I had a student that

she had a boy and a girl the girl was

about nine years old the boy was ten

they went out to the beach is about by

San Diego here and the shark got the

little girl

and mom had to go in and identify the

body

she asked me what are you supposed to do

with something like that I said you're

gonna have these feelings and they're

going to rip your heart out and it's

okay your heart can take it allow that

pain to be there and love your little

girl don't try to stop the pain you

can't stop the pain does the pain is the

pain and it's the truth you can't

control the truth you can only allow the

truth of course she went in and it was

her little girl she had a lot of Tears

she had a lot of sadness but she allowed

it to be without trying to make it

anything different than what it was and

over a period of time all the sadness

would come up again and the memories and

all of these kinds of things were still

happening but she was learning how to

allow them to being without trying to

push him away or stop them after another

period of time she started realizing how

incredibly important it is to do that

with everything that arises and she'd

that became one of our major lessons for

life to allow the present moment to be

and she's turned into a

meditation teacher not in San Diego and

commercial

I was

sure

that was a lot of years of those and

yeah there's going to be times when it's

painful okay that's painful

that's the truth it's hard losing the

mother it's hard losing a father it's

hard losing a sibling or a close friend

but the more you can accept what's

happening in the present moment without

resisting it without getting into your

conceptualising about it thinking about

it and trying to control it and trying

to make it different than it is I just

told you about the five five aggregates

you have your thoughts and you have

feelings you can't think your feelings

that don't work feelings are one thing

and thoughts or something entirely

different neither will meet the more you

try to take your feeling and control

your feeling or to think you're feeling

and control your feeling with your

thoughts the more you will suffer that's

a promise that's the way it actually

works so you let go of the feeling or

you let go of the thoughts and you allow

the feeling to be there there's sadness

that's our life there's pain there's

anxiety there's frustration there's fear

that's part of life and it's

hey it has to be ok because it's a truth

the Dhamma is the Dhamma and we can't

change it we can't make it any different

than what it is of course we spend an

awful lot of energy trying to make it

different but like mom this mother that

she had to go identify her sweet little

child that was not easy she lived

through it

and she was better for doing that after

a while the only memory she had a her

child were the ones that were very

positive not the horror that the

goodness

it takes developing that not indulging

in the dissatisfaction of the present

moment but embracing the present moment

for what it is and if there's tears

there's tears that's true you let it be

let them come

ok

anything up

i will give you a card

like the ring in his eyes he liked to do

this debrecen we got to us the link is a

hard email but doesn't matter i still

like bringing this up everybody gave

this to me Oh me also so here just one

of the little fun things if I lost this

tomorrow I wouldn't even think about it

but since I got it why not it's having a

fun pointing your feed is considered

some dirty thing in Asia in particular

your feet you're barefoot a lot you got

sandals on your feet are dirty and is

considered very bad form to point your

feet at somebody else when you're

talking there's a lot of little things

that sometimes I'll start giving a

dominant talk and I'll see somebody who

this and then they're doing this

something yet and I'll stop the dominant

talk and say don't sit like that we try

to pretend annoying because when you sit

like this you're only here about sixty

percent of what's being said the rest of

the time this is you're thinking but a

position this is your protection

so you don't sit like that when when

you're carrying the DOM is not

respectful yeah we thought it would be

interesting to put a section on our

website about questions Davos and we

really would like you to write and ask

them questions not monks and nuns that

you don't understand this Americans

really don't get taught a very lot about

about monks and nuns and it's a good

topic for me and to dig up the answers a

lot of different habits you know if it's

Thai or Bernie's or Chinese or Tibetan

its own some differences you know but

it's in suggested a number of times that

we want to expand this you can't you

can't do that you have to read all of

the video you don't picture it ok I'll

find out about all the rooms I know that

which there are me I know I know about

it that far but I just mean general he's

like why doesn't a most safe thank you

do you know why the month doesn't say

thank you that's the kind of thing I'm

talking about he's going to do this we

don't say thank you because if we say

thank you when you give us something

that turns it into a personal gift

between to pee but I'm a reference

the Buddha and all of the archives and

Paul with the Sangha so when I accept

clubbing from you and I can say well

done this is nice what I'm doing is I'm

allowing you the space to make so much

more merit from giving that gift

when you give a gift to a monk you don't

give it to that person as an individual

you give it to them as the

representative and in your mind you're

thinking this gift goes to all of the

Sun gun okay so an said the right no

didn't she when she said you're a field

of America I don't feel when you when

you go into monastic your field of merit

for you is what it means so say nice

things to feel the merits you better

watch out free fare structure that's me

retail brief meetings comedy I'll being

sure dinner that we have a squire

a position of all crimes that needs a

name is incontinent States and earth

give us some Rockets of mighty power to

share the spirit of ours a min long

protect the Buddhist dispensation

you

you

what kind of practice are you doing you

yeah yeah the same all of your doing

breath meditation are you following the

instructions given in the suit that's

about the breath meditation and that

means that you tranquilize on the

in-breath and you tranquilize on the

out-breath quit try

when you came I asked him to change his

meditation because actually what had

happened is he developed some habits

that weren't as good as it could be his

meditation wasn't progressing like he

wanted to so I hadn't changed over to

the loving-kindness meditation for a

couple of reasons the first reason being

it's a completely different kind of

meditation than he was used to so his

old habits didn't count anymore and your

progress in meditation is much faster

with loving-kindness meditation than it

is with any other kind of meditation

that you could do I mean much faster by

Oh two or three times faster

now a lot of people have an idea that

when you do loving-kindness meditation

that you're not following what the

Buddha taught and meditation and you're

not practicing the possible meditation

and that's not true loving-kindness

meditation and the Brahma mejores is

mentioned oh well over a hundred times

in the soup is mindfulness of breathing

is mentioned eight times which do you

think he taught most when you practice

loving-kindness meditation you're

actually starting at the beginning of

the Brahma be hardens and it's real

interesting because the Brahma be Horace

will take you very deep into your

meditation and it gives you a different

kind of understanding than you would get

with any other kind of meditation

the mindfulness of breathing meditation

is more of an intellectual kind of

meditation and the loving-kindness

meditation is more a feeling when you

practice love and kindness you start by

remembering the time when you were happy

and you have that warm glow a feeling

and then you make a wish now the mistake

that almost everybody makes when they're

teaching loving kindness is that they

want you to make like it says in the

desert imago you have to make for wishes

may I be happy may I be free from mental

suffering they had be free from physical

suffering may I do well happy and people

those are the four wishes you have to me

but actually that's very dry and you

wind up repeating these statements over

and over again and not pay attention to

your meditation so what happens is the

kind of meditation you wind up doing is

a one pointed absorption kind of

concentration which means away from what

the Buddha was talking about collects

explain that in

but when you're making a wish for your

happiness or someone else's happiness

you want to feel the wish you wish

somebody if they're going through a very

confusing uncentered period of time then

you make a wish for their mind to be

clear but you know what it feels like to

have a clear minded then you take that

feeling and you put it in your heart and

radiate that feeling to your friends or

if they're going through a very agitated

period of time you make a wish for their

peace and comb you know what it feels

like to be peaceful and calm bring that

feeling into your heart you can't give

something some somebody something that

you don't have yourself it really makes

a big difference

the more you can make a wish and radiate

that with the more effect you have on

the person your sentiment the more

helpful you are towards that person and

you're developing your own mind at the

same time

when you take your spiritual friend that

somebody of the same sex that you

respect and like very much and put them

in your heart that you surround them

with this feeling and you radiate that

feeling give them a hard look the more

you can do that the quieter your mind be

guns the longer you start staying with

your object of meditation and the less

distractions there are distractions

entrances

hindrances are not your enemy to fight

with or control or to do anything with

when a hindrance arises what you need to

do is allow the space for that hindrance

to be there without any resistance in

your mind or in your body so when a

hindrance arises let's say you have a

physical sensation arrives your knee

hurts your back hurts the tailbone hurts

wherever the sensation arises what is

your mind do when that it first arises

what happens is you first start thinking

about the field

why is it there why didn't go i wish you

would go away it just it always happens

when i sit for a certain period of time

i always get this every thought about

that feeling makes the feeling better

and more intense so the first thing you

have to learn to do is let the thoughts

about the feeling go the dirt how do you

let the thoughts go by not keeping your

attention on them and then you relax the

tension or tightness caused by those

thoughts the tension and tightness

arises in your head in your brain I

happen to have one right here now yeah

you have to Lopes right there's a

membrane goes around each one every time

there's a thought it contracts every

time there's and disturbance it

contracts when you relax you feel open

feel expansion and what you notice is

right after you do that there is no fuss

there's only this line that's very alert

very clear and pure why because you have

just let go of craving craving always

manifest as tension and tightness in

your mind and in your body Westerners

like to think of their body being from

the neck down but actually it's from the

head down

and this is where the tightness is most

easily recognized

every thought causes tension and

tightness to arise in your mind and

I when you intentionally relax that feel

expansion and clarity

next what you'll notice is there is a

tight mental fist wrapped around that

sensation if want to cough whatever it

happens to be obtained some wherever the

truth is when the sensation arises it is

there that's the truth that's the dump

when it when it arises it's there that's

we're found out what you do with what

arises in the present moment dictates

what happens in the future if you resist

that sensation if you try to make that

sensation different than it is if you

try to change it in any slight wave you

can look forward to that sensation

getting bigger and more intense until

you can't stand it and you have to do

something

but when you allow the space for that

sensation to be there it's okay for that

sensation to be there it has to be okay

because that's the truth it's there when

you allow the space for that sensation

to be there then you'll notice that you

can relax into that and your mind

becomes clear now

I teach everybody to smile and I teach

them to smile for very good reason

because when you smile your mind is more

uplifted more alert you have joy arise

much more easily and joy is one of the

Enlightenment factors so it's a

necessary part of the practice when you

relax and then you smile you're bringing

up a wholesome object now you take that

smile and you bring it back to your

object of meditation and you keep

repeating this over and over again

staying with your object of meditation

now what I just talked to you about was

right effort

unwholesome state arose that sensation

you will allow the space for that

sensation to be in your relax you bring

out the wholesome object smile and come

that back to your object of meditation

and you continue on with your object

meditation

one of the things that can happen if you

don't have the remarks step is that you

start trying a little bit too hard and

you wind up giving yourself somewhat of

a headache anyone that is giving

themselves a headache nice trying too

hard and trying to control what's

happening in the present instead of

allowing it to be there is the I want it

to be the way I want it to be any time

there's identification with thoughts and

feelings that is the source of suffering

the more you can relax into these

thoughts and feelings allowing them to

be but not feeding them with your

attention the easier it is to let go of

juice disturbances

now because loving kindness is a feeling

but one of the things about practicing

loving kindness kindness meditation

because it is a feeling meditation you

become very sensitive to feeling when it

rises and you can see mine starting to

grab on to it and it's much easier to

recognize it and let it be relax into

that now a lot of you are practicing

mindfulness of breathing every time

there's a distraction you have to allow

that distraction to me there relax into

that before coming back to your object

of meditation that's the breath and

relaxing not over focusing on the breath

the breath is the reminder to relax

if you don't relax the distraction and

you come back to your object of

meditation you're bringing craving back

into your object of meditation and it

takes a lot longer to let go of that

craving that's a lot more work harder

when you're practicing loving-kindness

meditation you also have to relax but

it's much easier to recognize because

you're teaching yourself to recognize

the feelings and you become much more

sensitive to feeling and you start

recognizing when the tightness or

tension starts to arise and let it be

without getting distracted away from

your object of meditation the whole

point of meditation is not to gain the

concentration it's not to be in some

kind of spiritual mystical magical

experience the whole point of meditation

is to learn

learn what learn how mine's attention

moves from one thing

what's your definition of mindfulness I

want an answer what's your definition of

Mike

keep it going

keeping something in my back

another being completely aware of what

of everything that's everything

everything yourself okay another you can

on this sector you can she can I'll give

you a definition of mindfulness

mindfulness is remembering to observe

how minds attention moves from one thing

to another being aware is kind of like

that but it's such a general term that

is confusing and how many times do you

hear somebody if you ask and what

mindfulness is they'll tell you it means

to be mindful I spend a lot of time when

I give a retreat in giving definitions

so that you understand simple terms like

what is delusion

it's being diluted right now what does

it mean delusion means taking whatever

arises personally it is where your mind

grabs on to it says this is me this is

mine that's a deluded mind when you let

go of delusion you start seeing things

in an impersonal way you're starting to

see things as part of a process instead

of this being mean this is mine this is

who I am anytime you take something

personally your mind is deluded at that

time okay simple word wisdom what's that

mean

everybody's got to be wise what is

wisdom mean I'm sure very talkative

divine wisdom means being able to see

and understand how dependent origination

works when you develop your wisdom you

are seeing for yourself firsthand how

dependent originally

so you see there's a lot of words that

everybody is supposed to know what it

means but the Buddha had very specific

definitions he didn't have general

definitions these are very specific

when a feeling arises in your body it's

either pleasant or it's painful or it's

neither painful more pleasant that's

what feeling is it doesn't have anything

to do with emotion it's feeling is just

a feeling right after a feeling arises

craving arises what is craving it always

manifests as tension and tightness in

your mind and in your body craving is

the I like it I don't like it might if

it's a pleasant feeling I like it if

it's a painful feeling I don't like it

it squeezes just as tight either way but

that's the start of the personality

belief at the craving right after that

the clinging horizons and that's all

your concepts your opinions your ideas

and the story about why you like or

dislike that feeling and then your

habitual tendency cakes every time this

kind of feeling arises I always think

that I always act that way and then you

have the birth of action and then you

have sorrow lamentation pain grief and

despair what did I just tell you I just

told you exactly how it then an

origination worse

now the beauty of the hindrances is that

that's where your deluded mind is every

time a hindrance arises guess who's

identifying with it who doesn't like it

who wants it to be different than it is

who wants to control it I now every time

you let a hindrance be and relax that

tension and tightness caused by the

distraction and come back to your object

meditation after starting to smile every

time you do that you are experiencing

the cessation of suffering

that's that their noble truth you get to

experience the third noble truth many

thousands many hundreds of thousands of

times before enlightenment occurs some

people even say Millions depends on the

person the thing with the hindrance is

that it is there to teach you where your

attachment is it is there to show you

that 8 there's a wrong belief in this

and as always I am that now when you're

practicing loving-kindness meditation

you get attacked by the hindrances just

like any other panda meditation but when

you're practicing loving-kindness

meditation I'm telling people

continually on retreat you've got a

smile I don't want you sitting without

smiling I don't want you walking around

without smiling and she's got one of the

little sour face is going why don't you

son telling me right now okay smile look

at how it make sure my feel your mind is

alert your mind is much more aware of

what's happening in the present moment

because of that spun

you want to improve your mindfulness you

want to know what mindfulness really

truly is don't sit in meditation for a

week all you gotta do is from the moment

you wake up until the moment you go to

bed his smile and everything all the

time your mindfulness will get so

incredibly sharp and your understanding

will deepen so fast that you'll be

amazed and look at how you're affecting

the world around you when you smile make

sense doesn't it now there are going to

be times during that week when you're

not going to feel like smiling I don't

kick it's like anyway even a fake smile

has its advantages you go through an

emotional period where you're angry at

somebody or disappointed or you're

frustrated or whatever if you smile into

that your mind looks at you and says no

I'm mad I'm not gonna I'm not happy but

then your mind keeps looking at your

smiling boy

maybe I'm supposed to be happy so then I

will be and you can let go of your

attachment very quickly that what is

attachment i am that i am those thoughts

i am those feelings I'm angry at this

person or that person whatever now the

other part of this is you gotta learn to

laugh at how crazy your mind is welcome

to the human race we all crazy every

time we take something personally we are

crazy at that moment I'm mad I'm

frustrated I'm sad your mind is

as really causing a lot of pain and

suffering when you develop the ability

to recognize when you are really caught

and start to laugh with it you're not

caught any more you go from i'm mad i'm

sad I'm angry too well it's only this

it's only this anger that's only the

sadness what's that I don't mean to hold

on to that and that's actually what

happens in your mind so what if you what

are you doing by learning to smile

you're developing right effort you're

developing your mindfulness

in your daily life

too many times people think that

meditation is about sitting like like

Buddha image here without moving that's

meditation no that's part of it how

about the other ninety five percent of

the day when you're not sitting very

still does that mean you don't have to

meditate it that done not hardly it

means going to be meditating all the

time watch what your mind is doing

what's the easiest way to get to see

what your mind is doing money it works

but

it really does work

and you'll get to a place where your

mind is so serious as I did by don't

want to smile this is serious stuff like

that some students actually get angry at

me because I told them they needed to

smile this is I can't smile about this

and you know what my reaction is laughs

that's one of the most funny things I've

ever run across look at how attached you

are to this stuff look at how you're

taking all this stuff personally and

causing yourself immeasurable pain you

don't need to do that to yourself you

can laugh and you can smile and you can

be happy or not your choice and you're

the only one that can choose that for

you one of the things that I truly love

about Buddhism is the self

responsibility

I had a student not too long ago that

started blaming all external things for

their pain

I wrote back to him and I said

well you're really good at complaining

but when are you going to start taking

responsibility for yourself instead of

blaming external things for your

happiness when you gotta wake up to the

fact that you can take it personally you

can take it seriously and you can make

yourself suffer like anything or not

when are you going to be responsible for

yourself you can't blame outside

influences for your happiness yeah we go

through ups and downs so see one of the

things that it was a major thing that

Hugh learned was equanimity the balance

of mind and he was absolutely shocked by

it well you can have all this stuff

happen some of its real positive and

real uplifting and some of its not

that's okay either way how you going to

learn your lessons if you're going to be

completely controlled by your emotions

and your emotions have how much craving

in them and how much concepts you know

we think in concepts what is this that's

cup where is the cut his place is the

color

the handle where is the cup cup is a

concept it's made up of a lot of

different little things to make this

concept up everything that we think

about is in concepts what the Buddha was

trying to get us to do was not recognize

things that has memory in it that's

perception perception is the thing that

brings concepts up because that's the

naming part of your mind he was trying

to get us to cotton itís things in other

words seeing them as they arise before

they're named naming its involved with

these things then that's one step

further away from being in the present

moment and old habits are hard to let go

up graham it you always think and and

see things in the same way and you're

used to it I've been cleaning a garage

and it's incredibly dusty and dirty

when you come back something that means

you see it in the present moment your

mindfulness is exceptionally sharp but

when you have developed the ability of

seeing when something comes up really

got me

when you develop to see

to recognize when contact arises contact

is good working hi there's color and

form the good working i hits the color

and form I consciousness arises the

meeting of these three things is called

eye contact when you're able to see eye

contact you will see a feeling arise

feeling is going to be pleasant or

unpleasant in neutral if you relax rate

that you are going to see what you're

looking at without any distraction at

all

what is the distraction craving clinging

that's your conceptual thinking about

things your opinions your ideas and your

identification this is me who's doing

this this is mine and then your habitual

tendency starts kicking in every time I

see something like that i always act

this way and then you have your birth of

action and the sorrow and lamentation

and all the rest when you're able to

cognize things that means that you're

seeing before the grading arises and

then you see what happens before the

craving and you let go of the craving

you see it completely without being

distracted by it for instance you

wouldn't distinguish the colors because

that's into your perception you would

see the form you would allow that

feeling to arise it's a pretty form okay

and you relax into it now if you don't

then your mind contracts and then you

start thinking about how you like this

all these colors are really beautiful

I've always liked colors like that now

are you in the present moment when

you're thinking about this no

you're removed from the present moment

and what happens in your mind as you

start thinking well you know I used to

have a cup like this I really liked it

oh I remember I had a friend that had

some cuts like this that were it was

great and all of a sudden you're a

thousand miles away you're not in the

present moment at all anymore it's

really interesting and when people come

and do well on the retreat that they go

out into the desert or they go home and

they start noticing things being

brighter being clearer because they

haven't got the clouding inking

conceptual mind arising so much anymore

and as a result you wind up truly

enjoying seeing something or listening

to something you do it completely

because you haven't got any distraction

comparing this doing that taking your

mind all the way away and then coming

back occasionally and going oh I like

this music yeah I heard that once before

in Bella you see what happened so when

you get into the present moment you

completely are with the present moment

you can enjoy the present moment there's

nothing wrong with enjoying thing but

when that present moment changes to

something else then you're with that

completely there's no attachment because

there's no crazy

so that's what smiling all the time does

for you it makes you more and more alert

more and more clear when feeling arises

now one of the psychological testing

there's all kinds of stuff that's

happening now on the internet they're

talking about smiling in the advantages

how laughing changes your hormones and

makes you happy and and make sure you

healthy and does it people overcome all

kinds of diseases I mean there's all

kinds of weird things that they're

writing about a lot but the corners of

your mouth when they go up so does your

mental state now what do I talk about

with smiling I'm talking about smiling

with your mind most important smiling

with your eyes let the smile come

through that makes it more genuine a

little smile on your lips it doesn't

have to be a big toothy grin although

sometimes you're having so much fun it

turns into that also smiling in your

heart

the thing with meditation is there's not

just City okay the Buddha said the

meditation it's three different things

practicing your generosity how do you

practice your generosity you got a smile

given away you have kind thoughts for

somebody else tell them thank kind but

act in ways that make other people happy

and do it all the time not just once in

a while you know right now the economies

are everything really crazy and as

always people that are so much into

their fear and all our anxiety they have

such a limited view of the universe that

they're afraid of losing material things

you want to be prosperous you practice

your generosity all the time not just

once in a while practice your generosity

saying things that make other people let

go of their fear bring them into the

present moment you get what should give

so you want to be happy you want to be

prosperous then give it away and hold on

to this stuff you've got to give it away

the more you can give away your smile

the more you affect the world around you

in a positive way the more you get

caught up in your fear and anxiety of oh

my god what's going to happen next what

are you practicing at that time what are

you giving away at that time it happens

in a negative way as well as a positive

way we're all giving one way or another

but you give your dissatisfaction your

dislike your criticism your hatred well

guess what you're going to get back

because that's what you're giving you

start changing that and you start giving

your smile and you start saying things

that make other people happy you start

doing things that make other people

happy and you think kindly of other

people

guess what you're going to get back

doesn't that make you prosperous more

than wounded the universe wants to give

you what you want if you got to practice

in the right way to get the next part of

the meditation is taking and keeping

your presets can't be understated the

precepts breaking the precepts are wide

you have n rinses arrives why is that

because when you break a preset it

causes a guilty mind to arise and guess

who's identifying with that guilty month

guess who's taking it personal guess was

not being mindful in the present

you don't kill living beings on purpose

doesn't mean you can t eat but you are

not physically killing you don't have

the intention to kill you don't take

anything that's not given you don't have

any wrong sexual activity wrong sexual

activity the sexual activity with

another person's mate or sexual activity

with not with your meat how about that

that's better

not having sexual activity with somebody

that's too young still under the care of

their parents or guardians not having

sexual activity by paying for it the

prostitute

pretty easy

during the time of the Buddha there's a

lot of kings around they had more than

one life and that was okay because the

laws of the land you have to follow and

that's basically what are you say

you don't tell lies even little white

lights it's better not to say anything

that is to say away by you don't curse

and this is one of the shockers of this

culture is cursing is becoming so

popular that it's starting to wind its

way into everybody speech and it is

course and it is hurtful it's not

pleasant to the ear somebody's somebody

saying the f words all the time or we

have a dog that we call her the F word

all the time let's go food eater so till

we call her food that's one of the four

letter f words it's okay just let go

back in pirate condition and that's an

external excuse

but using your speech in a way that

brings people together that doesn't

divide people that's harmonious that

people when they hear what you have to

say they want to go yeah that was really

good I want to know break that down

that's good stuff and don't gossip what

is gossip gossip is sitting around

talking about somebody else is not there

and making up these outrageous stories

about them that aren't true and saying

it like it is true I have some relatives

that are absolutely brilliant at it

bores me to tears listening to the talk

because I know everything they're saying

it's just win booing hitting the year

I'm not taking any drugs or alcohol oh

but I like to have a wine now on then we

went through this on the retreat there

is one lady that she insisted that every

now and then I'm gonna drink wine I

don't care she did the retreat the year

before or meditation was very good she

kept drinking the wine knowing she was

breaking the preset she came to the

retreat and the first part of her

retreat was absolutely ported well it's

not such a big deal breaking this

precept yeah I did

you want to have a good retreat you want

to have good progress in your spiritual

life you know what the rules are if you

break them you feel guilty what's only a

little thing there's no such thing as a

little thing it will affect your

meditation negatively

in Malaysia there was some people that

they really like to do their their wine

Oh occasional beer every now and then

and every time I saw them they had a

beer in their hand and they wanted to

learn meditation and they had an

absolutely terrible time all of these

hindrances coming up my mind it doesn't

calm down sit stop drinking oh but that

doesn't matter yeah it does it dulls

your mind it makes the hindrances or

rise and then you have to work through

that purify yourself until the

hindrances stop coming up so much only

then are you able to progress in your

meditation I know it's real popular have

a wine with a meal are getting ready to

go out or whatever but it's not worth it

if you keep these Five Precepts without

breaking them

your progress in meditation will be so

fast that it will blow your mind I can

give you an example and there was a lady

that in Malaysia that she would not

break a preset for any reason at all she

was really nice it was fun to be around

because she was such an uplifted person

and she came to me and she said I think

I want to learn how to meditate so

there's one a meditation retreat coming

up on the weekend and the first day I

gave her every the instructions after

lunch I came around said well how's your

meditation blowing kisses that seems to

be going pretty good how long were you

sitting I can only sit for about 45

minutes only why don't you sit longer

well you know I'm not used to sitting on

the floor and it's killing my legs and

that's as long as I can last so I said

well then don't sit on the floor there's

no magic in the floor sit in a chair

with your back nice and straight our

next city was four hours she got into

the first jhana the first day of her

retreat

why did that happen because she wouldn't

consider breaking princess that's how

you get fast progress

it really works and that's one of the

things of unisex keeping you're keeping

your precepts as closely as you possibly

can make your mind clear it your mind

becomes tranquil very quickly when you

do that and I also had this clown and in

Malaysia that said okay okay you've

convinced me how long do I have to do

this I said well we'll start it a

hundred years and go up from there

so keeping the precepts what it really

does is it makes you more and more aware

of what you're going to do before you do

it and if you see that that's going to

leave the year suffering and pain that

don't do it

it's a way to improve your general

mindfulness

do we have a time when is Sir is there a

time schedule that we're kicking usually

we end at eight o'clock oh well I got a

long time yeah well my training as a

monk happened really and I was nineteen

ninety-five when I was invited to a huge

monastery in Malaysia is the biggest

tera vaada monastery in all Malaysia it

was in Kuala Lumpur and the head monk

with Sri Lanka and he was used to giving

an hour and a half for to our talk every

Friday night he's getting old he asked

me to come and he said every other week

I want you to give it up and I said well

ok I can do that I was real good at

preparing talks in that sort of thing at

the time but he started at the first day

of the range retreat there's like all

there must have been fifteen hundred

people there and he started talking

about my spinning Marines retreat there

and how happy he was then then he turns

to me and he said why don't you give the

talk an hour and a half will do and I

haven't prepared anything it had to be

hour and a half then I went okay i guess

i could be back and i did but it was

really hard and since then i got in the

habit of doing hour and a half two hours

sometimes a little bit longer talks and

I gets open for doing long talks all the

time why don't you just do an hour

that's plenty but there's so much more

to talk about anyway one of the things

that's really important to understand is

we have five aggregates that make up

this mind and body process you have a

physical body you have feeling pleasant

unpleasant neutral yeah perception the

naming part of your mind memory is

involved with that we have thoughts they

also call this sankar azure formations

but when I start out teaching people i

will say thoughts because it's more

easily understood when we go deeper in

the meditation we could change over to

formations and you have consciousness

now when an unpleasant feeling arises

what we wind up doing naturally is

trying to think our feeling and the more

you think you're feeling the bigger and

more intense the feeling becomes

that's why I said the instructions in

what you do when a sensation arises in

your body the first thing you do is let

go of your thoughts about it if you

don't that feeling you'll get bigger and

more intense ask people to do the

sweeping meditation and they take their

attention put it right in the middle of

that sensation what about what happens

when that sensation when you do that boy

that gets big I want to tell you and

your mind goes wah I don't like that

when I'm going to stay there and I'm

going to grit my teeth and keep with

that sensation that's not the Buddhist

teacher he did not encourage people to

grip their teeth and bear it he

encouraged people to softly openly

lovingly accept what happens in the

present

see there's a difference between doing

this with your mind and doing that which

one do you want to practice which one do

you think is easier which one is more

fun

I know fun is not about word that people

that practice meditation used very much

I do because I want your meditation to

be fun if it's not fun that means you're

not very interested in it and if you're

not interested in that you're not going

to see things as clearly as you can so

you make it fun I mean think about when

you went to college and you had a class

that you really liked was it fun did you

mind studying in that class no because

it was fun because it was interesting

well the meditations the same the more

interest in the more fun you can have

while you're meditating the better you

do and the more alert your mind becomes

it's not amazing this is a for real

thing the Buddha talked about interest a

lot and how important it is when you

make learning fun then you get so

excited that you want to go sit how many

times have you had that happen you know

I don't want to talk now I gotta go sit

it's great

and that happens when you practice with

this relaxed step with the step of

letting go of the craving why because

you're teaching yourself exactly how

dependent origination works that's where

your insights are that's where your oh

wows get really strong oh wow I never

looked at it like that before I never

really paid that close of attention when

the Buddha was talking about in sight he

was always mentioning it with serenity

serenity Sal meta in pali summit

practice means tranquility practice it

means being in dijana

now he said that insight and tranquility

need to be evenly yoked together if the

tranquility is too strong then think

about a couple of oxen that are yoked

together and one of them is a lot more

enthusiastic and strong than the other

what happens when one of them gets too

strong start going in circles and it

happens the other way to encircle if you

want to go on the straight line they

have to be evenly balanced they have to

be pulling the weight in the same way so

your insights and your tranquility grow

together when you start recognizing how

the process of dependent origination

work and the thing that's really amazing

is there are a lot of teachers that

start talking about dependent

origination I'll always preface it by

saying this is hard to understand you

know this is beep this is not any simple

thing and they try to explain it in such

a way that it's really hard to

understand and as Saudi that you don't

know what they're talking about but it's

simple

as long as the Buddha said if you want

to understand it in an origination you

have to give your you have to listen

you're not going to be able to figure it

out by yourself but when you start

listening to Donna talks with people

that really do understand it in an

origination and can talk about it in

practical ways then your mind starts

going oh yeah I've seen that now I can

recognize hey this is fun this is good

stuff and as you go deeper because of

your giving here and listening your

understanding and your wisdom grow so

fast it really makes the meditation

exciting and you don't hear that being

described that way very often you don't

hear about my meditation is so great I

don't want to talk to you I want to go

sip this stuff is so interesting it just

blows my mind that happens on a dream

done it

it's fun to learn and that's the essence

of the Buddhist practice I had a friend

in Malaysia they came up to me and it

said you know I've been practicing the

same channel for seven years you want me

to Janet for you said sure didn't listen

to it sorry chanted for 15 or 20 minutes

and he got done a nice entry it was nice

what does it mean anyway mean yeah

you've been doing the same thing over

and over for seven years you must know

what the meaning is he said no no no

it's the sound that's important than the

feeling coming from that and I said I

can give you a sound and a feeling all

you have to do is repeat banana over and

over again at least you know what a

banana is don't you do something if you

don't understand what you're doing don't

follow anything blindly because

everybody else says you're supposed to

do it try it for yourself see whether

it's right or not the question I asked

almost everybody that comes for retreat

is do you think you're on the right back

when they're doing the relaxed step and

they're smiling they always say yes I

really feel like this is the one I had a

friend come for the last retreat that

even

he meditated a lot longer than nine out

I've been doing it for 35 years and he's

been doing it for over 40 but he's been

doing all different kinds of meditations

and that sort of thing is kind of played

the field as it works so I gave him the

loving-kindness meditation and he was

having a very difficult time and after

about the third day I said you know it's

just not right for you doing

loving-kindness meditation I want you to

switch over and start doing my influence

of breathing he got this big sigh of

relief okay with his first city he got

into the first job next day comes for

the interview he'd already gotten in the

fourth job that's pretty amazing stuff

he was understanding what he was doing

and now everything just started coming

together now you've done all of these

other practices before it's not that

it's a waste of time to do another

practice not ever but when you add this

relax step and the smiling into your

meditation it changes the meditation and

you start going with deep and you start

understanding and all of the 40 or 45

years of practice that he's been doing

of hearing this part of the Dhamma and

that part of the dominant that part of

the Dhamma now it all went oh this is

all interconnected this is all amazing

I'm understanding this stuff now just by

adding those

two extra things smiling and relax yes

do you think we might try so meditation

Oh can if you want it's up to you there

was a I gave a talk last night at mutant

thief unitarian universalist church and

one of the ladies went home and she was

so inspired about smiling and relaxing

she's been practicing Zen and she added

the smile and relax that step do it he

said I never felt so good before and she

went to sleep and she slept really

soundly and she got up happy and she

said well I'm gonna try this i'm going

to try smiling all day she SAT again and

all of a sudden the meditation was

making sense the rigidity of the Zen

practice started disappearing for her

and we got a chance to talk to her and

see how she was doing and she was really

happy that's the whole point of doing

content being so that your observation

power becomes from there till you start

seeing more and more little things that

you've never seen before and that means

that your journey yeah

the curious but loving kindness

and I think I understand the first step

and your spirit friend embracing your

spirit prints and is does my spirit

friend with my spirit rent be the focus

of my meditation for the full medication

or your spiritual friend you stay with

the same one all the time now this is

very throughout if I have an hour of sit

and I'm continually focused on that's

right now you have to understand that

this is a training process and after you

get to a certain depth and your

meditation i will change it so that you

started radiating to other different

kinds of beings and then eventually

towards obvious and in that can happen

in a series of a retreat in over two

weeks people can go through the whole

entire barrier system ok but like when

he trained me i was doing a lot of

things and training i was with the same

spiritual friend for a year and then i

started moving through but it's a

building up of morocco is just the

training

through each one of them fully and

completely so it's different one thing I

wanted to add is sometimes when the mind

wanders and come back to the loving

kindness sometimes has to generate that

loving kindness for yourself again and

get that going and before you get

started to come back here spiritual town

so that's just part of the natural

process of that particular practice the

concentration is staying on that person

but sometimes the mine doesn't do that

and it gets important that we come back

you get that going rights like you said

the first step is to take your friend

and do that ok the first rep really is

to build build it up in your card and

get it really going and then take your

friend or sent it to yourself first and

then bring your friend and give them a

heart hug and start working with your

friend so just like these three things

and if you have trouble bringing that

feeling of loving kindness back you're

not smiling just that's how many times

have I said that somebody comes I just

can't feel this you're not smiling now

it's all there is to it the more you

smile the easier it is to radiate that

kind loving

once or anything no station spiritual

friend all the time thank you I have

children I want to rotate me I don't

want you to do your children I want you

to do a spiritual friend as a spiritual

trim is someone of the same sex and they

are alive but not a family member to

start off with why one of the children

you're going to go sit in meditation and

they do something you don't like how

much lemon kindness will use been good

with them at that time or how much it's

been with your loving dissatisfaction

see so you don't want anybody should

close to start off with one to be a real

friend so it's someone with my tank

gender yeah and a life that I know yeah

and why is it the same why does it

because lust comes up and infatuation

happens and it causes all kinds of

problems and and generally speaking it's

easier to send loving and kind thoughts

to a nun then it would be too afraid

because a nun if they're developing

their mind correctly they are very kind

and

and it's very easy to respect them I'm

not giving her a plug there are thinking

wow that's cool we're not going to feel

great this week and she gets that way

then you can start sending just put her

down a third offer or ego trip there but

in Asia that is very easy because there

are a lot of funds and they are very

very easy to appreciate their good

qualities but if you can't think of one

and then pick a friend but make that

friend someone that you truly respect

and really do wish them and stay with

that same person all of your time

you'll get to your kids eventually but

only after you've gained a degree of

equanimity so this is a training period

that it's not going to last forever some

sometimes when people come and they

start practicing living kindness

meditation sometimes it might take four

or five days before they start changing

things sometimes it's a little bit

longer it's a little bit less

just depends on the individual and how

well they follow the directions

and you understand these are not my

directions these are directions from the

Buddha it showed us exactly how to

meditate what I do when I give a dama

talk as I wind up reading the suta to

you so you know it's not coming from me

I might explain something here or there

but you know that this is what the

Buddha was saying is the teacher I'm not

a teacher I'm a guy

you can start going off the path I can

say been there done that try this one

okay

so you want to sit for 15 minutes how's

that

let her have a chance to

clean up the body

would you like

yeah sure that's okay okay the true

easier on your legs when you do that

then we don't then yeah well it's

pulling forward and it's it's cutting

off the circulation on your legs and all

kinds of stuff when I give a retreat

there's a lot of people that start

sitting on the floor and after a while

just about everybody sitting in the

chair there's no magic and before the

reason that everybody sits on the floor

is because in Asia it having chairs they

grew up sitting on the floor and when

you grow up sitting on the floor it

changes your hips a little bit so it's

really comfortable to sit on for well

guess what how many people here have

been sitting on the Florida since they

were a little tiny kid know who you're

always you're used to sitting in a chair

it's fine sit in a chair you're

comfortable sitting on the floor that's

fine sit on the floor there's no magic

in either one

the magic comes in

ok

still have to wait

when you sit you see how you're sitting

here sitting nude shoulders forward and

that closes your heart when I sit with

your chest up and your back nicely

straight and that starts to open up your

party

and for an awful lot of people that sit

on the floor they sit on a pillow so

they have an angle like that it's a lot

more comfortable I think this is your

first time ever city don't move your

body when we start

if your spiritual friend remember a time

when we really happy

in the center of your chest that feeling

it arises then you make a wish for your

own happiness any wish you make you want

to be able to feel that when you feel

that which with that feeling in the

center of your files and radiate that

feeling tears

it doesn't matter how many times your

mind gets distracted thoughts are not

your enemy to try to crush or stop

notice that your mind is thinking about

something and simply let go of the

thought relax the tension and tightness

in your

and gently smile and come back to

rating and loving kindness to yourself

if your mind wanders 20 times during the

city and 20 times you notice the German

wanna let it be relaxed came back to

your meditation that is a good

meditation it's active to eat it

after about five minutes of radiating

loving kindness to yourself then you

want to start reading

spirit

spiritual friend is someone of the same

sex and they are alive

a spiritual friend is someone that

their good qualities so you're sending

love

feel that being said call as I feel as I

wish it's beautiful

you please

put them right in the middle of your

heart

around your heart

sit with your back

straight

one vertebra

sent in a relaxed way

straight

this can cause sensations to arise

sometimes it's called sometimes it can

be heat or vibration or pain as soon as

you notice your mind is called to that

sensation first let go of your thoughts

about the sensation

let go of that tight mental fist around

that sensation and wow that sensation to

be there

they smile and bring that

when you're sitting you want to sit with

your eyes

reason you sit with your eyes closed

just because any

and all

insect because your mind to start

looking at it

runs away

tones don't fingers don't scratch

her posture set things straight

this is a smiley

what to smile

your eyes even

the little smile

thanks in the smile

anytime you see you're not smiling

don't criticize yourself just start over

if you want to try doing this meditation

I would suggest going to my website

there is instructions that are more

detail than what I just

and when you sit you try to sit for 30

minutes without moving your body for any

reason at all you're going to sit you

can move as much as he does now if you

do this because you start recognizing

that your mind wants to distract you in

one way or another so it will cause some

Oh sensations to arise and all of a

sudden you're doing this and you don't

even recognize it you're not seeing that

your mind is having a reaction to what

is happening in the present moment

instead of a response of seeing that

allowing it to be and relaxing into that

but when you start sitting sit for at

least 30 minutes that's not very long

when you're sitting is good sit longer

if you have the time but don't sit for

any less than 30

there's times when 30 minutes seems like

it's four hours and there's times when

30 minutes seems like it's less than a

minute it all depends on your calmness

at the time

the hindrances that arise

remember that your entrances are not

your enemy to fight with the hindrance

is just a friend coming to let you know

where your attachments are so welcome

them like an old friend I can laugh at

that because I know how hard it is your

attachments can be real amazing

sometimes everything gets so serious

anytime you see your mind being serious

during the day your mind is telling you

right then right there guess who has an

attachment here guess who's trying to

control the universe and make it be the

way you want it to be I mean that's fine

who's identifying with it who's trying

to make things be the way you want them

to be who's causing themselves suffering

and

that can be incredibly hilarious when

you start developing your sense of humor

about how crazy your mind is and how it

thinks that this is really important and

I gotta pay attention to it and I have

to act this way because I'm that

you know life is supposed to be fun

and any kind of it's not we're not doing

it right so you got any questions

comments statements anything yeah life

is fun yeah however there are some great

losses that wouldn't Oh better had that

happen my mother just died not too long

ago that I wasn't feeling much like

laughing at the time it's all right I

assume to allow that sadness of course

you have to allow whatever feeling or

rises to be there because that's the

truth what do you do with that if you

grab on to the sadness because you've

lost somebody very dear and you get into

your dislike of the situation and wish

it would change and wish it didn't

happen you can look forward to that same

feeling coming up over and over again

and causing more and more pain because

whose pain is it it's mine and I don't

like it I don't want it to be like this

that the truth is pain is going to be

there sometimes tears are going to be

there and it's okay it's all right there

all of that to be there because that's

the truth but you really

x into that and you kind of develop that

little smile in your mind yeah this is

happening and it's okay for it to happen

that way you don't get attached to the

dislike and what happens with quite

often that when you talk with people in

the hospice people that are really

attached and they really fight the death

and they really are said and they really

every time you see them they're sad

because of that well within a year two

years they're going to have some kind of

major physical problem because of that

attachment the truth is pain arises

sometimes and you have to allow it to be

there but you don't have to allow it

from a version you will allow it from

loving acceptance I've told this story

quite a few times I had a student that

she had a boy and a girl the girl was

about nine years old the boy was ten

they went out to the beach is about by

San Diego here and the shark got the

little girl

and mom had to go in and identify the

body

she asked me what are you supposed to do

with something like that I said you're

gonna have these feelings and they're

going to rip your heart out and it's

okay your heart can take it allow that

pain to be there and love your little

girl don't try to stop the pain you

can't stop the pain does the pain is the

pain and it's the truth you can't

control the truth you can only allow the

truth of course she went in and it was

her little girl she had a lot of Tears

she had a lot of sadness but she allowed

it to be without trying to make it

anything different than what it was and

over a period of time all the sadness

would come up again and the memories and

all of these kinds of things were still

happening but she was learning how to

allow them to being without trying to

push him away or stop them after another

period of time she started realizing how

incredibly important it is to do that

with everything that arises and she'd

that became one of our major lessons for

life to allow the present moment to be

and she's turned into a

meditation teacher not in San Diego and

commercial

I was

sure

that was a lot of years of those and

yeah there's going to be times when it's

painful okay that's painful

that's the truth it's hard losing the

mother it's hard losing a father it's

hard losing a sibling or a close friend

but the more you can accept what's

happening in the present moment without

resisting it without getting into your

conceptualising about it thinking about

it and trying to control it and trying

to make it different than it is I just

told you about the five five aggregates

you have your thoughts and you have

feelings you can't think your feelings

that don't work feelings are one thing

and thoughts or something entirely

different neither will meet the more you

try to take your feeling and control

your feeling or to think you're feeling

and control your feeling with your

thoughts the more you will suffer that's

a promise that's the way it actually

works so you let go of the feeling or

you let go of the thoughts and you allow

the feeling to be there there's sadness

that's our life there's pain there's

anxiety there's frustration there's fear

that's part of life and it's

hey it has to be ok because it's a truth

the Dhamma is the Dhamma and we can't

change it we can't make it any different

than what it is of course we spend an

awful lot of energy trying to make it

different but like mom this mother that

she had to go identify her sweet little

child that was not easy she lived

through it

and she was better for doing that after

a while the only memory she had a her

child were the ones that were very

positive not the horror that the

goodness

it takes developing that not indulging

in the dissatisfaction of the present

moment but embracing the present moment

for what it is and if there's tears

there's tears that's true you let it be

let them come

ok

anything up

i will give you a card

like the ring in his eyes he liked to do

this debrecen we got to us the link is a

hard email but doesn't matter i still

like bringing this up everybody gave

this to me Oh me also so here just one

of the little fun things if I lost this

tomorrow I wouldn't even think about it

but since I got it why not it's having a

fun pointing your feed is considered

some dirty thing in Asia in particular

your feet you're barefoot a lot you got

sandals on your feet are dirty and is

considered very bad form to point your

feet at somebody else when you're

talking there's a lot of little things

that sometimes I'll start giving a

dominant talk and I'll see somebody who

this and then they're doing this

something yet and I'll stop the dominant

talk and say don't sit like that we try

to pretend annoying because when you sit

like this you're only here about sixty

percent of what's being said the rest of

the time this is you're thinking but a

position this is your protection

so you don't sit like that when when

you're carrying the DOM is not

respectful yeah we thought it would be

interesting to put a section on our

website about questions Davos and we

really would like you to write and ask

them questions not monks and nuns that

you don't understand this Americans

really don't get taught a very lot about

about monks and nuns and it's a good

topic for me and to dig up the answers a

lot of different habits you know if it's

Thai or Bernie's or Chinese or Tibetan

its own some differences you know but

it's in suggested a number of times that

we want to expand this you can't you

can't do that you have to read all of

the video you don't picture it ok I'll

find out about all the rooms I know that

which there are me I know I know about

it that far but I just mean general he's

like why doesn't a most safe thank you

do you know why the month doesn't say

thank you that's the kind of thing I'm

talking about he's going to do this we

don't say thank you because if we say

thank you when you give us something

that turns it into a personal gift

between to pee but I'm a reference

the Buddha and all of the archives and

Paul with the Sangha so when I accept

clubbing from you and I can say well

done this is nice what I'm doing is I'm

allowing you the space to make so much

more merit from giving that gift

when you give a gift to a monk you don't

give it to that person as an individual

you give it to them as the

representative and in your mind you're

thinking this gift goes to all of the

Sun gun okay so an said the right no

didn't she when she said you're a field

of America I don't feel when you when

you go into monastic your field of merit

for you is what it means so say nice

things to feel the merits you better

watch out free fare structure that's me

retail brief meetings comedy I'll being

sure dinner that we have a squire

a position of all crimes that needs a

name is incontinent States and earth

give us some Rockets of mighty power to

share the spirit of ours a min long

protect the Buddhist dispensation