From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=mvOZifLhLTw

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

every morning you are going to

take

eight precepts

these precepts are very important

and

if you break one of the precepts

it's going to affect your meditation

negatively

so you have to

let me know that you broke a precept

there's not going to be any finger

pointing but you need to take the

precepts again with the determination

not to break a precept

the easiest precept to break of course

is speaking

so

i would like you

to not speak so much

you can talk to me

don't talk to the other people around

you

it is

very helpful

because when you start talking to other

people around you what do you begin to

think about

what they said what you said

and that turns into a hindrance

so please

let's cut down the speech as much as we

possibly can

now i know a lot of you have heard the

instructions in

the meditation but i'm going to give

them again

i don't care how many times you've heard

this

it can still be of benefit to hear it

again

so don't allow your mind to

wander

and think about other things instead of

paying attention to what's being said

this is one of the things that the

buddha taught

that can lead to awakening

is being very attentive

to what is being said

when you practice loving-kindness

meditation you first start by sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself

you remember a time when you were happy

when that happy feeling arises

then you take that feeling and put it in

the center of your chest and surround

yourself with that feeling

while you're doing this your mind can

begin to think about other things

thoughts are not the enemy

thoughts are just thoughts and it's okay

for thoughts to arise but as soon as you

notice that your mind is distracted by a

thought

please

let go of that thought

the way you let go of the thought is by

not keeping your attention on the

thought

now relax the tightness caused in your

head

by that thought

and as soon as you relax the tightness

then i want you to smile

and come back to

sending loving and kind thoughts to

yourself

if your mind wanders 25 times in the

sitting and 25 times you've noticed that

and come back to your object to

meditation

that is a good meditation

bad meditation

getting caught in the thinking

not paying attention to

the letting it be and relaxing and

coming back to your objective meditation

so it's real important

for you to begin to understand

what

right effort is

this is part of the eightfold path

right effort is

recognizing when your mind becomes

distracted and there's an unwholesome

thought

what is an unwholesome thought

any thought that you take personally

i am that

that is an unwholesome thought

release

that thought by not keeping your

attention on it

and relaxing

now you bring up a wholesome

object

smile

and bring that smiling mind back to your

object of meditation

and repeat staying with that for as long

as you can

this is called the six ours

this is going to be uh

mentioned

more than a few times

don't sit with your legs crossed please

don't sit with your legs crossed

now the reason i say that if your legs

are crossed

you're

protecting something and it is a

thinking posture

so with your legs uncrossed you don't

need to protect anything

and your mind is more clear

this is important

when i was in sri lanka this year every

sri lankan was walking around like this

and i kept on telling them

the war is over you don't have to

protect your heart anymore

put that down let that go and they

didn't like that idea

some people got up and left the retreat

because

i told them they couldn't meditate this

way

and it's really true

so

the fact that your mind becomes

distracted is not the problem

your mind will begin to settle down

after a period of time

on its own

most of the time my biggest problem

with new students especially if they've

done meditation with somebody else

is to get them to stop trying so hard

you need to back off

not put more energy into it

you have a wandering thought you don't

try to make that wandering thought go

away

you back off from that wandering thought

and relax and smile and come back to

your object to meditation

anything

you

try to do

is putting in too much energy too much

effort and you're gonna cause yourself

headaches

so

don't do that

okay

it doesn't matter how many times a

thought arises it can be the same

thought or a different thought it

doesn't matter

what matters is what you do with that

thought when it arises

when you recognize it you release it by

not keeping your attention on it and

relax

you have

developed

a pure mind

that's good

why have you developed a pure mind

because you've let go of craving

your mind is clear your mind is bright

anytime you try to push something or

make something happen the way you want

it to

guess who has craving in their mind at

that time

guess who is trying too hard

and guess who is causing themself

suffering

so don't do that

it's that simple

always

back up back off

if if something keeps coming up over and

over again so what

every time you let it be you relax you

smile you come back to your object to

meditation

you are purifying your mind and every

time you purify your mind that hindrance

will get weaker and weaker until it

finally disappears

and then all kinds of good stuff occurs

so after about 10 minutes or when you're

sitting in meditation please sit with

your back reasonably straight

you can lean in the chair but don't over

lean

okay

after about 10 minutes then you start

sending loving and kind thoughts to a

spiritual friend

a spiritual friend is someone of the

same sex

and they are alive

a spiritual friend is someone that when

you think of them and their good

qualities

you sincerely do

like them and you sincerely do

wish them well

that can't be understated

the sincerity of your wish

helps your progress in the meditation

so if you really like that person you

really want to see them

be happy

that will help your meditation a lot

now the thing that you must realize is

that every

wish for their happiness that you make

you need to feel that wish

you know what it feels like to be happy

bring that feeling into your

heart surround your friend with that

feeling of happiness and give them a

heart hug

you don't have to try to

wish oh they're off in that direction it

doesn't matter you put them in your

heart

and surround them with that feeling of

love and kindness

and

that will find them on its own

so

i want everyone

to sit at least 30 minutes

and when your meditation is good

sit longer

now there's there's some

meditators here that are advanced

meditators and they'll they'll sit for a

long period of time

that's good

but if you've never done it before let

it happen naturally by itself

some some sittings

you really feel like it's a good

meditation and you sit and it lasts for

an hour

good

the next time you come and sit

probably what's going to happen

is you want that one hour sitting to

come back again

and you put in too much energy and too

much effort

and

your mind starts to get

restless and then you think well i'm not

trying hard enough

and

you put in more energy and you get more

restlessness

and that is a major problem

and quite often people will come to me

after the first or second day of the

retreat and complain about

how much restlessness they have

what do i tell them

you're not smiling enough

you're trying too hard

you need to back off

oh did you want something to happen in a

particular way

so

what you need to do is

be patient

back off

and kind of chuckle with yourself a

little bit laugh at yourself

for trying to make something happen the

way you want it to

when you do this

you will go from i want this to be the

way i want it when i want it that way

to

oh it's only this

it's only this desire who needs that

and your mind will settle down and then

you'll be able to

do the proper meditation again

sometimes

people will get caught

in the idea of release

and relax

and release and relax

and release and relax and they don't go

back to their object to meditation

and as a result they come to me and says

this meditation doesn't work

well yeah it does when you do it right

you always have to come back to your

object of meditation

even when your object of meditation is

during your daily

activities come back to your smile

so sit as long as is comfortable

some sittings are going to be very easy

and very comfortable and you sit for an

hour hour and a half something like that

and the next sitting is going to be 45

minutes so what

it's okay

not a problem

this is a natural unfolding

you don't have to push you don't have to

make it happen the way you want it to

now after you get up from your

meditation you'd want to do your walking

meditation

walking meditation means

walking at a normal pace

like you walk

whenever you're doing your daily

activities

keep your eyes down a little bit so that

you're not looking around this is really

beautiful around here but you don't care

about that right now just keep your eyes

down

stay with your spiritual friend

radiate that feeling to your spiritual

friend if your mind gets distracted fine

use the six hours

relax smile come back to your object to

meditation again

some people

can actually go a lot deeper when

they're doing the walking meditation

than they can when they're sitting

that's fine doesn't matter

either way it works

now one of the things that you have to

realize

is that

when a hindrance arises

it is there for a very specific reason

it is there to show you

where

your attachment is

what is attachment

i am that

it's the idea of a personal self

and every hindrance that arises has that

in it

so

when the hindrance arises it is teaching

you and it is your teacher

it's teaching you where your attachment

is and how to let go of that attachment

i'm not your teacher

i'm a guide

that's

different i keep you on the path

that's what i do

but you are teaching yourself

so it's real important that you

understand that you're responsible for

your own suffering

and you can be responsible for your own

happiness too

if you have a hindrance that arises and

it really bugs you a lot and it keeps

coming back over and over again

that makes me happy

isn't that odd

why

because i know you're really working

you come to me with all of this

oh it's so nice and i'm so paid peaceful

and i'm so happy it's kind of kind of

okay

continue

so it the hindrances are a necessary

part of the practice

and it's very necessary for you to

understand

that this is where

something happened in the past

and you took it personally and then you

stuffed it

and tried to forget it

but the nature of this kind of

meditation is

it brings these kind of things back up

so that you can let them go

without having them come back

that's the whole point of the meditation

one of the points of meditation i should

say

we are made up of five things

the psychophysical process is made up of

a body

feeling now feeling is not emotion

feeling is feeling it's either

pleasant feeling or a painful feeling or

neither painful nor pleasant doesn't

have anything to do with emotion

there's perception

perception is the part of the mind

that names things

you look at this and you say this is a

cup

perception is a part of the mind that

put that name on it and it has memory in

it

you have thoughts you have consciousness

when a painful feeling arises

the first thing we try to do

is think

the feeling away

but feelings are one thing thoughts are

something else they never meet

and the more you try to think in a way

the more you suffer

the more pain you cause yourself because

i don't like that

i want it to be different than it is

the first thing you have to do

is

let go of the thought

and relax

let's say you're sitting in meditation

when you sit in meditation for a period

of time

you can have pains arise in your body

it's normal

and the first thing your mind does is

begin to think about how i don't like

that i wish it would stop i wish it

would go away

every thought about that pain makes the

pain bigger and more intense

so

what to do

let go of the thoughts about it

relax

there is a tight mental fist wrapped

around that pain

that sensation in the body

that tight mental fist

is

i don't like that

it is

craving

and clinging

so the what you have to do is realize

that when pain arises in your body

that's the truth

it's there

when pain is there it's there

and it's okay for that pain to be there

what you have to do is allow the space

for that pain to be there

relax into that

doesn't mean it's going to go away right

away

probably it won't

but it's okay for that pain to be there

it has to be okay

because that's the truth

anytime you try to fight with the truth

anytime you try to control the truth

anytime you try to get involved with

changing the truth

that is the cause of suffering

so don't do that

you've been hearing me say that a lot

haven't you

don't cause yourself pain don't cause

yourself undue

suffering

because this doesn't meet my idea of the

way i want to be

you can't fight with the truth all you

can do is allow the truth

and back off and let it be there by

itself

sometimes the pain will go away by

itself sometimes it won't

it doesn't matter you don't keep your

attention on the pain

if you put your attention in the middle

of that pain you know what happens

it gets bigger and more intense

you don't need to do that to yourself

allow the space for that pain to be

there

relax the tightness

caused in your head

from this sensation

smile

come back to your object to meditation

your mind might probably will go back to

that again fine do the whole thing over

again

relax your thoughts

let go of that tight mental fist around

the pain

relax

smile come back to your object to

meditation

every time you do that it improves your

is

remembering to observe

how mind's attention moves from one

thing to another

this is important

there are

probably 50

different definitions of mindfulness

but this is the closest one to what it

actually is that i've run across and if

you can find one a definition that's

better

please let me know

so

allowing the space

and observing without

getting involved with it

without trying to control it without

trying to make it be something other

than it is

that's what the meditation teaches you

and as you go deeper in your meditation

you will begin to

get some of the little benefits of doing

the meditation you get joy and happiness

and things like that

now i teach a kind of meditation that is

called

jhana

but it's not

just

ghana

it's jhana

and

insight

or vipassana

these two things are yoked together you

can't have one without the other

which is a lot different than

um an awful lot of people teach

so this is

kind of a unique kind of meditation

because you are adding that relaxed step

with every distraction

if you don't relax

you're going to continually have

thoughts popping up

causing problems causing hindrances

causing you to get involved with not

liking it and wanting it to go away and

trying to force it away

and then you say well this doesn't work

i'm gonna go home

this does work

when you do it correctly

an awful lot of people have gained an

awful lot of benefit

from doing this meditation and it's not

something

that

you only do

while you're

taking a retreat

this is something you can carry with you

all day

now

one of the things that i'm going to

insist on is everybody must smile

not a lot

or not a little but a lot excuse me

why do you need to smile

how does your mind feel when you smile

light

very clear

that's the meditative mind

when you try too hard

you get too serious

that's what happens to your mind

you have to keep your mind light

i just got through teaching some people

in ecuador that had been

practicing with goinka for 20 years and

they were

teachers and their minds were so heavy

because they were told that you had to

put in a lot of effort

a lot of energy

and it took me almost two weeks to get

them so that they could lighten their

mind

the light mind is the alert mind

so the more you smile

better your mindfulness becomes

that's a promise

now i was talking about the walking

meditation

it's good to pick a place where you can

walk without being in the sun

but just walk back and forth maybe

oh 40 or 50 feet

don't be

walking around

enjoying looking at other things because

that gets in the way of your practice

stay with your spiritual friend

when your mind gets distracted six are

that come back to your spiritual friend

the walking at first can be quite

difficult

but there will be a time when it

actually gets a lot easier

why is it difficult because you're used

to walking around letting your mind do

this and that

think about this think about that you're

not paying attention to what your mind

is doing

now you're starting to

learn how to

discipline mind it doesn't like that

idea it's going to throw up all kinds of

different stuff at you

oh this is important i got to think

about this now

now there's nothing important

so always come back to your object a

meditation with a smile and a light mind

if you do that

you will progress

very quickly i promise

okay have i forgotten anything

oh right

don't use a family member as your

spiritual friend

why

family members have a tendency to do

things that

make you unhappy sometimes

and then you start thinking about that

and you're sending

loving hatred

instead of loving kindness

so pick someone else that you respect

very much and you sincerely do wish them

happiness

it can be a monk that you know it can be

a friend i don't care

but it has to be sincere

and you have to feel

the wish

sometimes if your mind is a little bit

active

you can change your wish to being

peaceful and calm and feeling that peace

and calm

and radiate that to your spiritual

friend

sometimes it's joy

you pick what you want to feel and what

you want to send

just make it wholesome

okay

anybody have any questions

yes

how do i send the happiness to myself to

myself

put yourself in right in your heart

radiate that feeling to

in your yourself heart yes

so how about a

respected friend

put them in your heart radiate loving

kindness to them

both myself

it will be your whole body you image

yourself being here and it's gonna and

be your whole body so my image

yes

that's

right

and

your spiritual friend

do you think your spiritual friend would

fit in your heart no it's the image of

your friend it's the thought of your

friend that you're putting in your heart

and radiating that loving kindness

okay i mean

the question is that i send the

happiness to hear and radiate

happiness from the heart yes from heart

right

at first

when the ocean is

sent to to the heart another direction

just let it radiate by itself

you don't have to direct it

just radiate the loving kindness it will

go where it's supposed to go by itself

okay

pretend that you are a candle

and you get the feeling of the love of

kindness and you are a candle

and then the radiation

means a candle doesn't

push light into the room right if you

put a candle on top this piano in the

dark

the radiate the light it just comes out

right

you become the loving kindness you

become the candle

and then it just comes off of you

first it washes over you and you keep

smiling for 10 minutes and when it's

really warm you take your friend you put

them in there and then you just imagine

that it's radiating out to your friend

you see it going to your friend in your

mind and it just goes

just the way the light comes off the

candle you don't do anything you don't

send it you don't push it you don't make

it

you just are

this light

and it's gonna go

first one for example i sent

the happiness

to the myself it was here you get the

feeling in your heart and then let it

wash all over you

for you

so

sorry answered the new one the first day

to do it so i i needed to understand the

vlog the process first one i sent the

happiness

to to the image

to myself to me not my image in the

heart right myself then i feel

so the candle for my heart and spot

all the light everything really from my

heart and you get out of my body

my body after 10 and after 10 minutes

keep going

then after 10 minutes then i changed the

music

that you repeat for may your mind become

wish

because yourself right now first now

you're finished yeah then for them so

for them

the image is still not outside my mind

so not funny

you need to have your friend in china

you can send it to them in china

send it anywhere in the world yeah that

means very much

hold them in your heart and radiate

loving kindness to them

radiate that happy feeling and feel that

happiness

the image of my heart

then my heart my friend's image was

like a candle he brought out everything

and just sent to my whole my body no

it's complicated you're making it too

hard listen again

you get the feeling of the loving

kindness from the happy feeling of the

memory

you put the feeling in your heart

right

now

you take that feeling and you're gonna

let the love may i be happy may i be

peaceful may my mind be calm but feel

that wish whatever wish you make

from the memory of when you were happy

and then let it wash over you

and do that with your spiritual friend

that's enough

right then you take the friend no that's

enough that's right that's enough

do it tonight we'll talk tomorrow

okay

if you can change the wish as long as

you

change the feeling

okay

whatever wish you want to make

you have to feel that wish

there are sometimes people ask me to

send loving-kindness to someone that is

very confused or they have

a lot of problems

so what i do is i start radiating a

clear composed mind

and i feel that and i radiate that

feeling towards

in in my heart towards that person

they benefit from it

so it's pretty much up to you

what wish

you make as long as it's wholesome

and

you feel that wish

yeah you don't you don't do the same

wish over and over and over and over and

over again

because that turns into a mantra

and what happens is you start

just repeating that word in your mind

while you start thinking about other

things

doesn't work you're not feeling the wish

so it's real important that you feel the

wish and keep that feeling going

is it important that the friend be the

same friend every day yes

until i tell you to change

and that will happen

you just have to get to a certain place

in your meditation

anybody else

so we're going to do that right now

may suffering ones be suffering free and

the fear struck fearless be

may the grieving shed all grief and may

all beings find relief

may all beings share this merit that

we've thus acquired for the acquisition

of all kinds of happiness

may beings inhabiting space and earth

devas and nagas of mighty power share

this merit of ours

may they long protect the buddhist

dispensation

every morning you are going to

take

eight precepts

these precepts are very important

and

if you break one of the precepts

it's going to affect your meditation

negatively

so you have to

let me know that you broke a precept

there's not going to be any finger

pointing but you need to take the

precepts again with the determination

not to break a precept

the easiest precept to break of course

is speaking

so

i would like you

to not speak so much

you can talk to me

don't talk to the other people around

you

it is

very helpful

because when you start talking to other

people around you what do you begin to

think about

what they said what you said

and that turns into a hindrance

so please

let's cut down the speech as much as we

possibly can

now i know a lot of you have heard the

instructions in

the meditation but i'm going to give

them again

i don't care how many times you've heard

this

it can still be of benefit to hear it

again

so don't allow your mind to

wander

and think about other things instead of

paying attention to what's being said

this is one of the things that the

buddha taught

that can lead to awakening

is being very attentive

to what is being said

when you practice loving-kindness

meditation you first start by sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself

you remember a time when you were happy

when that happy feeling arises

then you take that feeling and put it in

the center of your chest and surround

yourself with that feeling

while you're doing this your mind can

begin to think about other things

thoughts are not the enemy

thoughts are just thoughts and it's okay

for thoughts to arise but as soon as you

notice that your mind is distracted by a

thought

please

let go of that thought

the way you let go of the thought is by

not keeping your attention on the

thought

now relax the tightness caused in your

head

by that thought

and as soon as you relax the tightness

then i want you to smile

and come back to

sending loving and kind thoughts to

yourself

if your mind wanders 25 times in the

sitting and 25 times you've noticed that

and come back to your object to

meditation

that is a good meditation

bad meditation

getting caught in the thinking

not paying attention to

the letting it be and relaxing and

coming back to your objective meditation

so it's real important

for you to begin to understand

what

right effort is

this is part of the eightfold path

right effort is

recognizing when your mind becomes

distracted and there's an unwholesome

thought

what is an unwholesome thought

any thought that you take personally

i am that

that is an unwholesome thought

release

that thought by not keeping your

attention on it

and relaxing

now you bring up a wholesome

object

smile

and bring that smiling mind back to your

object of meditation

and repeat staying with that for as long

as you can

this is called the six ours

this is going to be uh

mentioned

more than a few times

don't sit with your legs crossed please

don't sit with your legs crossed

now the reason i say that if your legs

are crossed

you're

protecting something and it is a

thinking posture

so with your legs uncrossed you don't

need to protect anything

and your mind is more clear

this is important

when i was in sri lanka this year every

sri lankan was walking around like this

and i kept on telling them

the war is over you don't have to

protect your heart anymore

put that down let that go and they

didn't like that idea

some people got up and left the retreat

because

i told them they couldn't meditate this

way

and it's really true

so

the fact that your mind becomes

distracted is not the problem

your mind will begin to settle down

after a period of time

on its own

most of the time my biggest problem

with new students especially if they've

done meditation with somebody else

is to get them to stop trying so hard

you need to back off

not put more energy into it

you have a wandering thought you don't

try to make that wandering thought go

away

you back off from that wandering thought

and relax and smile and come back to

your object to meditation

anything

you

try to do

is putting in too much energy too much

effort and you're gonna cause yourself

headaches

so

don't do that

okay

it doesn't matter how many times a

thought arises it can be the same

thought or a different thought it

doesn't matter

what matters is what you do with that

thought when it arises

when you recognize it you release it by

not keeping your attention on it and

relax

you have

developed

a pure mind

that's good

why have you developed a pure mind

because you've let go of craving

your mind is clear your mind is bright

anytime you try to push something or

make something happen the way you want

it to

guess who has craving in their mind at

that time

guess who is trying too hard

and guess who is causing themself

suffering

so don't do that

it's that simple

always

back up back off

if if something keeps coming up over and

over again so what

every time you let it be you relax you

smile you come back to your object to

meditation

you are purifying your mind and every

time you purify your mind that hindrance

will get weaker and weaker until it

finally disappears

and then all kinds of good stuff occurs

so after about 10 minutes or when you're

sitting in meditation please sit with

your back reasonably straight

you can lean in the chair but don't over

lean

okay

after about 10 minutes then you start

sending loving and kind thoughts to a

spiritual friend

a spiritual friend is someone of the

same sex

and they are alive

a spiritual friend is someone that when

you think of them and their good

qualities

you sincerely do

like them and you sincerely do

wish them well

that can't be understated

the sincerity of your wish

helps your progress in the meditation

so if you really like that person you

really want to see them

be happy

that will help your meditation a lot

now the thing that you must realize is

that every

wish for their happiness that you make

you need to feel that wish

you know what it feels like to be happy

bring that feeling into your

heart surround your friend with that

feeling of happiness and give them a

heart hug

you don't have to try to

wish oh they're off in that direction it

doesn't matter you put them in your

heart

and surround them with that feeling of

love and kindness

and

that will find them on its own

so

i want everyone

to sit at least 30 minutes

and when your meditation is good

sit longer

now there's there's some

meditators here that are advanced

meditators and they'll they'll sit for a

long period of time

that's good

but if you've never done it before let

it happen naturally by itself

some some sittings

you really feel like it's a good

meditation and you sit and it lasts for

an hour

good

the next time you come and sit

probably what's going to happen

is you want that one hour sitting to

come back again

and you put in too much energy and too

much effort

and

your mind starts to get

restless and then you think well i'm not

trying hard enough

and

you put in more energy and you get more

restlessness

and that is a major problem

and quite often people will come to me

after the first or second day of the

retreat and complain about

how much restlessness they have

what do i tell them

you're not smiling enough

you're trying too hard

you need to back off

oh did you want something to happen in a

particular way

so

what you need to do is

be patient

back off

and kind of chuckle with yourself a

little bit laugh at yourself

for trying to make something happen the

way you want it to

when you do this

you will go from i want this to be the

way i want it when i want it that way

to

oh it's only this

it's only this desire who needs that

and your mind will settle down and then

you'll be able to

do the proper meditation again

sometimes

people will get caught

in the idea of release

and relax

and release and relax

and release and relax and they don't go

back to their object to meditation

and as a result they come to me and says

this meditation doesn't work

well yeah it does when you do it right

you always have to come back to your

object of meditation

even when your object of meditation is

during your daily

activities come back to your smile

so sit as long as is comfortable

some sittings are going to be very easy

and very comfortable and you sit for an

hour hour and a half something like that

and the next sitting is going to be 45

minutes so what

it's okay

not a problem

this is a natural unfolding

you don't have to push you don't have to

make it happen the way you want it to

now after you get up from your

meditation you'd want to do your walking

meditation

walking meditation means

walking at a normal pace

like you walk

whenever you're doing your daily

activities

keep your eyes down a little bit so that

you're not looking around this is really

beautiful around here but you don't care

about that right now just keep your eyes

down

stay with your spiritual friend

radiate that feeling to your spiritual

friend if your mind gets distracted fine

use the six hours

relax smile come back to your object to

meditation again

some people

can actually go a lot deeper when

they're doing the walking meditation

than they can when they're sitting

that's fine doesn't matter

either way it works

now one of the things that you have to

realize

is that

when a hindrance arises

it is there for a very specific reason

it is there to show you

where

your attachment is

what is attachment

i am that

it's the idea of a personal self

and every hindrance that arises has that

in it

so

when the hindrance arises it is teaching

you and it is your teacher

it's teaching you where your attachment

is and how to let go of that attachment

i'm not your teacher

i'm a guide

that's

different i keep you on the path

that's what i do

but you are teaching yourself

so it's real important that you

understand that you're responsible for

your own suffering

and you can be responsible for your own

happiness too

if you have a hindrance that arises and

it really bugs you a lot and it keeps

coming back over and over again

that makes me happy

isn't that odd

why

because i know you're really working

you come to me with all of this

oh it's so nice and i'm so paid peaceful

and i'm so happy it's kind of kind of

okay

continue

so it the hindrances are a necessary

part of the practice

and it's very necessary for you to

understand

that this is where

something happened in the past

and you took it personally and then you

stuffed it

and tried to forget it

but the nature of this kind of

meditation is

it brings these kind of things back up

so that you can let them go

without having them come back

that's the whole point of the meditation

one of the points of meditation i should

say

we are made up of five things

the psychophysical process is made up of

a body

feeling now feeling is not emotion

feeling is feeling it's either

pleasant feeling or a painful feeling or

neither painful nor pleasant doesn't

have anything to do with emotion

there's perception

perception is the part of the mind

that names things

you look at this and you say this is a

cup

perception is a part of the mind that

put that name on it and it has memory in

it

you have thoughts you have consciousness

when a painful feeling arises

the first thing we try to do

is think

the feeling away

but feelings are one thing thoughts are

something else they never meet

and the more you try to think in a way

the more you suffer

the more pain you cause yourself because

i don't like that

i want it to be different than it is

the first thing you have to do

is

let go of the thought

and relax

let's say you're sitting in meditation

when you sit in meditation for a period

of time

you can have pains arise in your body

it's normal

and the first thing your mind does is

begin to think about how i don't like

that i wish it would stop i wish it

would go away

every thought about that pain makes the

pain bigger and more intense

so

what to do

let go of the thoughts about it

relax

there is a tight mental fist wrapped

around that pain

that sensation in the body

that tight mental fist

is

i don't like that

it is

craving

and clinging

so the what you have to do is realize

that when pain arises in your body

that's the truth

it's there

when pain is there it's there

and it's okay for that pain to be there

what you have to do is allow the space

for that pain to be there

relax into that

doesn't mean it's going to go away right

away

probably it won't

but it's okay for that pain to be there

it has to be okay

because that's the truth

anytime you try to fight with the truth

anytime you try to control the truth

anytime you try to get involved with

changing the truth

that is the cause of suffering

so don't do that

you've been hearing me say that a lot

haven't you

don't cause yourself pain don't cause

yourself undue

suffering

because this doesn't meet my idea of the

way i want to be

you can't fight with the truth all you

can do is allow the truth

and back off and let it be there by

itself

sometimes the pain will go away by

itself sometimes it won't

it doesn't matter you don't keep your

attention on the pain

if you put your attention in the middle

of that pain you know what happens

it gets bigger and more intense

you don't need to do that to yourself

allow the space for that pain to be

there

relax the tightness

caused in your head

from this sensation

smile

come back to your object to meditation

your mind might probably will go back to

that again fine do the whole thing over

again

relax your thoughts

let go of that tight mental fist around

the pain

relax

smile come back to your object to

meditation

every time you do that it improves your

is

remembering to observe

how mind's attention moves from one

thing to another

this is important

there are

probably 50

different definitions of mindfulness

but this is the closest one to what it

actually is that i've run across and if

you can find one a definition that's

better

please let me know

so

allowing the space

and observing without

getting involved with it

without trying to control it without

trying to make it be something other

than it is

that's what the meditation teaches you

and as you go deeper in your meditation

you will begin to

get some of the little benefits of doing

the meditation you get joy and happiness

and things like that

now i teach a kind of meditation that is

called

jhana

but it's not

just

ghana

it's jhana

and

insight

or vipassana

these two things are yoked together you

can't have one without the other

which is a lot different than

um an awful lot of people teach

so this is

kind of a unique kind of meditation

because you are adding that relaxed step

with every distraction

if you don't relax

you're going to continually have

thoughts popping up

causing problems causing hindrances

causing you to get involved with not

liking it and wanting it to go away and

trying to force it away

and then you say well this doesn't work

i'm gonna go home

this does work

when you do it correctly

an awful lot of people have gained an

awful lot of benefit

from doing this meditation and it's not

something

that

you only do

while you're

taking a retreat

this is something you can carry with you

all day

now

one of the things that i'm going to

insist on is everybody must smile

not a lot

or not a little but a lot excuse me

why do you need to smile

how does your mind feel when you smile

light

very clear

that's the meditative mind

when you try too hard

you get too serious

that's what happens to your mind

you have to keep your mind light

i just got through teaching some people

in ecuador that had been

practicing with goinka for 20 years and

they were

teachers and their minds were so heavy

because they were told that you had to

put in a lot of effort

a lot of energy

and it took me almost two weeks to get

them so that they could lighten their

mind

the light mind is the alert mind

so the more you smile

better your mindfulness becomes

that's a promise

now i was talking about the walking

meditation

it's good to pick a place where you can

walk without being in the sun

but just walk back and forth maybe

oh 40 or 50 feet

don't be

walking around

enjoying looking at other things because

that gets in the way of your practice

stay with your spiritual friend

when your mind gets distracted six are

that come back to your spiritual friend

the walking at first can be quite

difficult

but there will be a time when it

actually gets a lot easier

why is it difficult because you're used

to walking around letting your mind do

this and that

think about this think about that you're

not paying attention to what your mind

is doing

now you're starting to

learn how to

discipline mind it doesn't like that

idea it's going to throw up all kinds of

different stuff at you

oh this is important i got to think

about this now

now there's nothing important

so always come back to your object a

meditation with a smile and a light mind

if you do that

you will progress

very quickly i promise

okay have i forgotten anything

oh right

don't use a family member as your

spiritual friend

why

family members have a tendency to do

things that

make you unhappy sometimes

and then you start thinking about that

and you're sending

loving hatred

instead of loving kindness

so pick someone else that you respect

very much and you sincerely do wish them

happiness

it can be a monk that you know it can be

a friend i don't care

but it has to be sincere

and you have to feel

the wish

sometimes if your mind is a little bit

active

you can change your wish to being

peaceful and calm and feeling that peace

and calm

and radiate that to your spiritual

friend

sometimes it's joy

you pick what you want to feel and what

you want to send

just make it wholesome

okay

anybody have any questions

yes

how do i send the happiness to myself to

myself

put yourself in right in your heart

radiate that feeling to

in your yourself heart yes

so how about a

respected friend

put them in your heart radiate loving

kindness to them

both myself

it will be your whole body you image

yourself being here and it's gonna and

be your whole body so my image

yes

that's

right

and

your spiritual friend

do you think your spiritual friend would

fit in your heart no it's the image of

your friend it's the thought of your

friend that you're putting in your heart

and radiating that loving kindness

okay i mean

the question is that i send the

happiness to hear and radiate

happiness from the heart yes from heart

right

at first

when the ocean is

sent to to the heart another direction

just let it radiate by itself

you don't have to direct it

just radiate the loving kindness it will

go where it's supposed to go by itself

okay

pretend that you are a candle

and you get the feeling of the love of

kindness and you are a candle

and then the radiation

means a candle doesn't

push light into the room right if you

put a candle on top this piano in the

dark

the radiate the light it just comes out

right

you become the loving kindness you

become the candle

and then it just comes off of you

first it washes over you and you keep

smiling for 10 minutes and when it's

really warm you take your friend you put

them in there and then you just imagine

that it's radiating out to your friend

you see it going to your friend in your

mind and it just goes

just the way the light comes off the

candle you don't do anything you don't

send it you don't push it you don't make

it

you just are

this light

and it's gonna go

first one for example i sent

the happiness

to the myself it was here you get the

feeling in your heart and then let it

wash all over you

for you

so

sorry answered the new one the first day

to do it so i i needed to understand the

vlog the process first one i sent the

happiness

to to the image

to myself to me not my image in the

heart right myself then i feel

so the candle for my heart and spot

all the light everything really from my

heart and you get out of my body

my body after 10 and after 10 minutes

keep going

then after 10 minutes then i changed the

music

that you repeat for may your mind become

wish

because yourself right now first now

you're finished yeah then for them so

for them

the image is still not outside my mind

so not funny

you need to have your friend in china

you can send it to them in china

send it anywhere in the world yeah that

means very much

hold them in your heart and radiate

loving kindness to them

radiate that happy feeling and feel that

happiness

the image of my heart

then my heart my friend's image was

like a candle he brought out everything

and just sent to my whole my body no

it's complicated you're making it too

hard listen again

you get the feeling of the loving

kindness from the happy feeling of the

memory

you put the feeling in your heart

right

now

you take that feeling and you're gonna

let the love may i be happy may i be

peaceful may my mind be calm but feel

that wish whatever wish you make

from the memory of when you were happy

and then let it wash over you

and do that with your spiritual friend

that's enough

right then you take the friend no that's

enough that's right that's enough

do it tonight we'll talk tomorrow

okay

if you can change the wish as long as

you

change the feeling

okay

whatever wish you want to make

you have to feel that wish

there are sometimes people ask me to

send loving-kindness to someone that is

very confused or they have

a lot of problems

so what i do is i start radiating a

clear composed mind

and i feel that and i radiate that

feeling towards

in in my heart towards that person

they benefit from it

so it's pretty much up to you

what wish

you make as long as it's wholesome

and

you feel that wish

yeah you don't you don't do the same

wish over and over and over and over and

over again

because that turns into a mantra

and what happens is you start

just repeating that word in your mind

while you start thinking about other

things

doesn't work you're not feeling the wish

so it's real important that you feel the

wish and keep that feeling going

is it important that the friend be the

same friend every day yes

until i tell you to change

and that will happen

you just have to get to a certain place

in your meditation

anybody else

so we're going to do that right now

may suffering ones be suffering free and

the fear struck fearless be

may the grieving shed all grief and may

all beings find relief

may all beings share this merit that

we've thus acquired for the acquisition

of all kinds of happiness

may beings inhabiting space and earth

devas and nagas of mighty power share

this merit of ours

may they long protect the buddhist

dispensation

every morning you are going to

take

eight precepts

these precepts are very important

and

if you break one of the precepts

it's going to affect your meditation

negatively

so you have to

let me know that you broke a precept

there's not going to be any finger

pointing but you need to take the

precepts again with the determination

not to break a precept

the easiest precept to break of course

is speaking

so

i would like you

to not speak so much

you can talk to me

don't talk to the other people around

you

it is

very helpful

because when you start talking to other

people around you what do you begin to

think about

what they said what you said

and that turns into a hindrance

so please

let's cut down the speech as much as we

possibly can

now i know a lot of you have heard the

instructions in

the meditation but i'm going to give

them again

i don't care how many times you've heard

this

it can still be of benefit to hear it

again

so don't allow your mind to

wander

and think about other things instead of

paying attention to what's being said

this is one of the things that the

buddha taught

that can lead to awakening

is being very attentive

to what is being said

when you practice loving-kindness

meditation you first start by sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself

you remember a time when you were happy

when that happy feeling arises

then you take that feeling and put it in

the center of your chest and surround

yourself with that feeling

while you're doing this your mind can

begin to think about other things

thoughts are not the enemy

thoughts are just thoughts and it's okay

for thoughts to arise but as soon as you

notice that your mind is distracted by a

thought

please

let go of that thought

the way you let go of the thought is by

not keeping your attention on the

thought

now relax the tightness caused in your

head

by that thought

and as soon as you relax the tightness

then i want you to smile

and come back to

sending loving and kind thoughts to

yourself

if your mind wanders 25 times in the

sitting and 25 times you've noticed that

and come back to your object to

meditation

that is a good meditation

bad meditation

getting caught in the thinking

not paying attention to

the letting it be and relaxing and

coming back to your objective meditation

so it's real important

for you to begin to understand

what

right effort is

this is part of the eightfold path

right effort is

recognizing when your mind becomes

distracted and there's an unwholesome

thought

what is an unwholesome thought

any thought that you take personally

i am that

that is an unwholesome thought

release

that thought by not keeping your

attention on it

and relaxing

now you bring up a wholesome

object

smile

and bring that smiling mind back to your

object of meditation

and repeat staying with that for as long

as you can

this is called the six ours

this is going to be uh

mentioned

more than a few times

don't sit with your legs crossed please

don't sit with your legs crossed

now the reason i say that if your legs

are crossed

you're

protecting something and it is a

thinking posture

so with your legs uncrossed you don't

need to protect anything

and your mind is more clear

this is important

when i was in sri lanka this year every

sri lankan was walking around like this

and i kept on telling them

the war is over you don't have to

protect your heart anymore

put that down let that go and they

didn't like that idea

some people got up and left the retreat

because

i told them they couldn't meditate this

way

and it's really true

so

the fact that your mind becomes

distracted is not the problem

your mind will begin to settle down

after a period of time

on its own

most of the time my biggest problem

with new students especially if they've

done meditation with somebody else

is to get them to stop trying so hard

you need to back off

not put more energy into it

you have a wandering thought you don't

try to make that wandering thought go

away

you back off from that wandering thought

and relax and smile and come back to

your object to meditation

anything

you

try to do

is putting in too much energy too much

effort and you're gonna cause yourself

headaches

so

don't do that

okay

it doesn't matter how many times a

thought arises it can be the same

thought or a different thought it

doesn't matter

what matters is what you do with that

thought when it arises

when you recognize it you release it by

not keeping your attention on it and

relax

you have

developed

a pure mind

that's good

why have you developed a pure mind

because you've let go of craving

your mind is clear your mind is bright

anytime you try to push something or

make something happen the way you want

it to

guess who has craving in their mind at

that time

guess who is trying too hard

and guess who is causing themself

suffering

so don't do that

it's that simple

always

back up back off

if if something keeps coming up over and

over again so what

every time you let it be you relax you

smile you come back to your object to

meditation

you are purifying your mind and every

time you purify your mind that hindrance

will get weaker and weaker until it

finally disappears

and then all kinds of good stuff occurs

so after about 10 minutes or when you're

sitting in meditation please sit with

your back reasonably straight

you can lean in the chair but don't over

lean

okay

after about 10 minutes then you start

sending loving and kind thoughts to a

spiritual friend

a spiritual friend is someone of the

same sex

and they are alive

a spiritual friend is someone that when

you think of them and their good

qualities

you sincerely do

like them and you sincerely do

wish them well

that can't be understated

the sincerity of your wish

helps your progress in the meditation

so if you really like that person you

really want to see them

be happy

that will help your meditation a lot

now the thing that you must realize is

that every

wish for their happiness that you make

you need to feel that wish

you know what it feels like to be happy

bring that feeling into your

heart surround your friend with that

feeling of happiness and give them a

heart hug

you don't have to try to

wish oh they're off in that direction it

doesn't matter you put them in your

heart

and surround them with that feeling of

love and kindness

and

that will find them on its own

so

i want everyone

to sit at least 30 minutes

and when your meditation is good

sit longer

now there's there's some

meditators here that are advanced

meditators and they'll they'll sit for a

long period of time

that's good

but if you've never done it before let

it happen naturally by itself

some some sittings

you really feel like it's a good

meditation and you sit and it lasts for

an hour

good

the next time you come and sit

probably what's going to happen

is you want that one hour sitting to

come back again

and you put in too much energy and too

much effort

and

your mind starts to get

restless and then you think well i'm not

trying hard enough

and

you put in more energy and you get more

restlessness

and that is a major problem

and quite often people will come to me

after the first or second day of the

retreat and complain about

how much restlessness they have

what do i tell them

you're not smiling enough

you're trying too hard

you need to back off

oh did you want something to happen in a

particular way

so

what you need to do is

be patient

back off

and kind of chuckle with yourself a

little bit laugh at yourself

for trying to make something happen the

way you want it to

when you do this

you will go from i want this to be the

way i want it when i want it that way

to

oh it's only this

it's only this desire who needs that

and your mind will settle down and then

you'll be able to

do the proper meditation again

sometimes

people will get caught

in the idea of release

and relax

and release and relax

and release and relax and they don't go

back to their object to meditation

and as a result they come to me and says

this meditation doesn't work

well yeah it does when you do it right

you always have to come back to your

object of meditation

even when your object of meditation is

during your daily

activities come back to your smile

so sit as long as is comfortable

some sittings are going to be very easy

and very comfortable and you sit for an

hour hour and a half something like that

and the next sitting is going to be 45

minutes so what

it's okay

not a problem

this is a natural unfolding

you don't have to push you don't have to

make it happen the way you want it to

now after you get up from your

meditation you'd want to do your walking

meditation

walking meditation means

walking at a normal pace

like you walk

whenever you're doing your daily

activities

keep your eyes down a little bit so that

you're not looking around this is really

beautiful around here but you don't care

about that right now just keep your eyes

down

stay with your spiritual friend

radiate that feeling to your spiritual

friend if your mind gets distracted fine

use the six hours

relax smile come back to your object to

meditation again

some people

can actually go a lot deeper when

they're doing the walking meditation

than they can when they're sitting

that's fine doesn't matter

either way it works

now one of the things that you have to

realize

is that

when a hindrance arises

it is there for a very specific reason

it is there to show you

where

your attachment is

what is attachment

i am that

it's the idea of a personal self

and every hindrance that arises has that

in it

so

when the hindrance arises it is teaching

you and it is your teacher

it's teaching you where your attachment

is and how to let go of that attachment

i'm not your teacher

i'm a guide

that's

different i keep you on the path

that's what i do

but you are teaching yourself

so it's real important that you

understand that you're responsible for

your own suffering

and you can be responsible for your own

happiness too

if you have a hindrance that arises and

it really bugs you a lot and it keeps

coming back over and over again

that makes me happy

isn't that odd

why

because i know you're really working

you come to me with all of this

oh it's so nice and i'm so paid peaceful

and i'm so happy it's kind of kind of

okay

continue

so it the hindrances are a necessary

part of the practice

and it's very necessary for you to

understand

that this is where

something happened in the past

and you took it personally and then you

stuffed it

and tried to forget it

but the nature of this kind of

meditation is

it brings these kind of things back up

so that you can let them go

without having them come back

that's the whole point of the meditation

one of the points of meditation i should

say

we are made up of five things

the psychophysical process is made up of

a body

feeling now feeling is not emotion

feeling is feeling it's either

pleasant feeling or a painful feeling or

neither painful nor pleasant doesn't

have anything to do with emotion

there's perception

perception is the part of the mind

that names things

you look at this and you say this is a

cup

perception is a part of the mind that

put that name on it and it has memory in

it

you have thoughts you have consciousness

when a painful feeling arises

the first thing we try to do

is think

the feeling away

but feelings are one thing thoughts are

something else they never meet

and the more you try to think in a way

the more you suffer

the more pain you cause yourself because

i don't like that

i want it to be different than it is

the first thing you have to do

is

let go of the thought

and relax

let's say you're sitting in meditation

when you sit in meditation for a period

of time

you can have pains arise in your body

it's normal

and the first thing your mind does is

begin to think about how i don't like

that i wish it would stop i wish it

would go away

every thought about that pain makes the

pain bigger and more intense

so

what to do

let go of the thoughts about it

relax

there is a tight mental fist wrapped

around that pain

that sensation in the body

that tight mental fist

is

i don't like that

it is

craving

and clinging

so the what you have to do is realize

that when pain arises in your body

that's the truth

it's there

when pain is there it's there

and it's okay for that pain to be there

what you have to do is allow the space

for that pain to be there

relax into that

doesn't mean it's going to go away right

away

probably it won't

but it's okay for that pain to be there

it has to be okay

because that's the truth

anytime you try to fight with the truth

anytime you try to control the truth

anytime you try to get involved with

changing the truth

that is the cause of suffering

so don't do that

you've been hearing me say that a lot

haven't you

don't cause yourself pain don't cause

yourself undue

suffering

because this doesn't meet my idea of the

way i want to be

you can't fight with the truth all you

can do is allow the truth

and back off and let it be there by

itself

sometimes the pain will go away by

itself sometimes it won't

it doesn't matter you don't keep your

attention on the pain

if you put your attention in the middle

of that pain you know what happens

it gets bigger and more intense

you don't need to do that to yourself

allow the space for that pain to be

there

relax the tightness

caused in your head

from this sensation

smile

come back to your object to meditation

your mind might probably will go back to

that again fine do the whole thing over

again

relax your thoughts

let go of that tight mental fist around

the pain

relax

smile come back to your object to

meditation

every time you do that it improves your

is

remembering to observe

how mind's attention moves from one

thing to another

this is important

there are

probably 50

different definitions of mindfulness

but this is the closest one to what it

actually is that i've run across and if

you can find one a definition that's

better

please let me know

so

allowing the space

and observing without

getting involved with it

without trying to control it without

trying to make it be something other

than it is

that's what the meditation teaches you

and as you go deeper in your meditation

you will begin to

get some of the little benefits of doing

the meditation you get joy and happiness

and things like that

now i teach a kind of meditation that is

called

jhana

but it's not

just

ghana

it's jhana

and

insight

or vipassana

these two things are yoked together you

can't have one without the other

which is a lot different than

um an awful lot of people teach

so this is

kind of a unique kind of meditation

because you are adding that relaxed step

with every distraction

if you don't relax

you're going to continually have

thoughts popping up

causing problems causing hindrances

causing you to get involved with not

liking it and wanting it to go away and

trying to force it away

and then you say well this doesn't work

i'm gonna go home

this does work

when you do it correctly

an awful lot of people have gained an

awful lot of benefit

from doing this meditation and it's not

something

that

you only do

while you're

taking a retreat

this is something you can carry with you

all day

now

one of the things that i'm going to

insist on is everybody must smile

not a lot

or not a little but a lot excuse me

why do you need to smile

how does your mind feel when you smile

light

very clear

that's the meditative mind

when you try too hard

you get too serious

that's what happens to your mind

you have to keep your mind light

i just got through teaching some people

in ecuador that had been

practicing with goinka for 20 years and

they were

teachers and their minds were so heavy

because they were told that you had to

put in a lot of effort

a lot of energy

and it took me almost two weeks to get

them so that they could lighten their

mind

the light mind is the alert mind

so the more you smile

better your mindfulness becomes

that's a promise

now i was talking about the walking

meditation

it's good to pick a place where you can

walk without being in the sun

but just walk back and forth maybe

oh 40 or 50 feet

don't be

walking around

enjoying looking at other things because

that gets in the way of your practice

stay with your spiritual friend

when your mind gets distracted six are

that come back to your spiritual friend

the walking at first can be quite

difficult

but there will be a time when it

actually gets a lot easier

why is it difficult because you're used

to walking around letting your mind do

this and that

think about this think about that you're

not paying attention to what your mind

is doing

now you're starting to

learn how to

discipline mind it doesn't like that

idea it's going to throw up all kinds of

different stuff at you

oh this is important i got to think

about this now

now there's nothing important

so always come back to your object a

meditation with a smile and a light mind

if you do that

you will progress

very quickly i promise

okay have i forgotten anything

oh right

don't use a family member as your

spiritual friend

why

family members have a tendency to do

things that

make you unhappy sometimes

and then you start thinking about that

and you're sending

loving hatred

instead of loving kindness

so pick someone else that you respect

very much and you sincerely do wish them

happiness

it can be a monk that you know it can be

a friend i don't care

but it has to be sincere

and you have to feel

the wish

sometimes if your mind is a little bit

active

you can change your wish to being

peaceful and calm and feeling that peace

and calm

and radiate that to your spiritual

friend

sometimes it's joy

you pick what you want to feel and what

you want to send

just make it wholesome

okay

anybody have any questions

yes

how do i send the happiness to myself to

myself

put yourself in right in your heart

radiate that feeling to

in your yourself heart yes

so how about a

respected friend

put them in your heart radiate loving

kindness to them

both myself

it will be your whole body you image

yourself being here and it's gonna and

be your whole body so my image

yes

that's

right

and

your spiritual friend

do you think your spiritual friend would

fit in your heart no it's the image of

your friend it's the thought of your

friend that you're putting in your heart

and radiating that loving kindness

okay i mean

the question is that i send the

happiness to hear and radiate

happiness from the heart yes from heart

right

at first

when the ocean is

sent to to the heart another direction

just let it radiate by itself

you don't have to direct it

just radiate the loving kindness it will

go where it's supposed to go by itself

okay

pretend that you are a candle

and you get the feeling of the love of

kindness and you are a candle

and then the radiation

means a candle doesn't

push light into the room right if you

put a candle on top this piano in the

dark

the radiate the light it just comes out

right

you become the loving kindness you

become the candle

and then it just comes off of you

first it washes over you and you keep

smiling for 10 minutes and when it's

really warm you take your friend you put

them in there and then you just imagine

that it's radiating out to your friend

you see it going to your friend in your

mind and it just goes

just the way the light comes off the

candle you don't do anything you don't

send it you don't push it you don't make

it

you just are

this light

and it's gonna go

first one for example i sent

the happiness

to the myself it was here you get the

feeling in your heart and then let it

wash all over you

for you

so

sorry answered the new one the first day

to do it so i i needed to understand the

vlog the process first one i sent the

happiness

to to the image

to myself to me not my image in the

heart right myself then i feel

so the candle for my heart and spot

all the light everything really from my

heart and you get out of my body

my body after 10 and after 10 minutes

keep going

then after 10 minutes then i changed the

music

that you repeat for may your mind become

wish

because yourself right now first now

you're finished yeah then for them so

for them

the image is still not outside my mind

so not funny

you need to have your friend in china

you can send it to them in china

send it anywhere in the world yeah that

means very much

hold them in your heart and radiate

loving kindness to them

radiate that happy feeling and feel that

happiness

the image of my heart

then my heart my friend's image was

like a candle he brought out everything

and just sent to my whole my body no

it's complicated you're making it too

hard listen again

you get the feeling of the loving

kindness from the happy feeling of the

memory

you put the feeling in your heart

right

now

you take that feeling and you're gonna

let the love may i be happy may i be

peaceful may my mind be calm but feel

that wish whatever wish you make

from the memory of when you were happy

and then let it wash over you

and do that with your spiritual friend

that's enough

right then you take the friend no that's

enough that's right that's enough

do it tonight we'll talk tomorrow

okay

if you can change the wish as long as

you

change the feeling

okay

whatever wish you want to make

you have to feel that wish

there are sometimes people ask me to

send loving-kindness to someone that is

very confused or they have

a lot of problems

so what i do is i start radiating a

clear composed mind

and i feel that and i radiate that

feeling towards

in in my heart towards that person

they benefit from it

so it's pretty much up to you

what wish

you make as long as it's wholesome

and

you feel that wish

yeah you don't you don't do the same

wish over and over and over and over and

over again

because that turns into a mantra

and what happens is you start

just repeating that word in your mind

while you start thinking about other

things

doesn't work you're not feeling the wish

so it's real important that you feel the

wish and keep that feeling going

is it important that the friend be the

same friend every day yes

until i tell you to change

and that will happen

you just have to get to a certain place

in your meditation

anybody else

so we're going to do that right now

may suffering ones be suffering free and

the fear struck fearless be

may the grieving shed all grief and may

all beings find relief

may all beings share this merit that

we've thus acquired for the acquisition

of all kinds of happiness

may beings inhabiting space and earth

devas and nagas of mighty power share

this merit of ours

may they long protect the buddhist

dispensation