From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=bnZYN6x3spw

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

welcome this is a guided loving-kindness

or meant to meditation instruction for

more information you can go to Dhamma

sukha dot org and read more about it

first find a comfortable position you

can sit on a cushion or sit in the chair

there is no magic to the floor we want

you to be comfortable there shouldn't be

any discomfort that's from your body the

mind will have enough to keep you busy

relax

whatever is comfortable take a deep

breath

let it out

take a minute or two to just be here

here in the present

this meditation is about observation and

not trying simply being and allowing

notice you are breathing

notice the feelings happening in the

body notice the feeling of sitting

how is your mind is it sleepy or is it

awake and full of energy are you feeling

restless or calm relaxed and slow down

settle into the chair into the cushion

relax your whole body everything that

comes into your awareness simply release

it and relax and come back to the

present don't pay any particular

attention to anything this will turn in

to later what we call the six arse

see how your mind is becoming spacious

you notice the entire room and

everything going on around you you relax

and be with it everything is okay you

feel some gratitude for being allowed to

sit quietly with nothing to do we're

thankful for having some time for

yourself

so let's get started with our meta our

loving-kindness meditation or what we

call from the sutas the practice of the

brahma vihara z' when you practice

loving-kindness meditation you first

start by sending loving and kind

thoughts to yourself you were a member a

time when you were happy when that happy

feeling arises smile it's a warm glowing

feeling in the center of your chest the

feeling is like holding a baby and

looking into its eyes you feel this

radiant loving-kindness in your heart or

perhaps a puppy or a kitten whatever

brought you this feeling of kindness of

warmth you let it be there we didn't try

you just allowed feel that happy feeling

now a really helpful technique is to

smile put a little smile on your lips

just a little one a Buddha smile smile

from your heart and smile from your mind

smiling can pull you out of negative

states and thinking so smile during your

whole sitting always come back to a

feeling of happiness with a smile

I'll take this happy feeling and radiate

it to yourself help it along with some

phrases like may I be happy may I be

content may I be peaceful

don't just say these phrases like a

mantra you need to feel them and only

use phrases as reminders of that warm

beautiful feeling phrases are not the

object they're only to nudge along this

beautiful feeling this feeling of

loving-kindness

now sit with your back reasonably

straight not too tight don't move your

body at all don't wiggle your toes don't

wiggle your fingers don't scratch don't

rub don't change your posture don't rock

back and forth sit very still like a

Buddha statue and remember on every

Buddha statue the Buddha is smiling the

little smile smile of equanimity of

happiness when you don't move it's like

getting water to freeze you can observe

the water but you can't push it or move

it you have to let it be there freezing

by itself relax into any tension and

tightness that makes you want to move

relax

smile you have this time for yourself be

content put everything else aside tell

your mind you'll think about all these

things later that might come up don't

worry they'll come up if they need to

may I be happy

may I be content

and I smile and be peaceful yeah I have

gratitude for everything that I have

as soon as that warm loving feeling

arises make a wish for your own

happiness may I be free from suffering

may my mind be uplifted may my mind be

peaceful and calm may my mind be open

and accepting

may I have happiness may I have joy

are you smiling put that little smile on

your lips and feel that smile radiating

throughout your body may I be content

whatever wish you make for yourself feel

that's sincere wish you know what it

feels like to be peaceful and calm bring

that feeling into your heart radiate

that feeling to yourself wish for

yourself to be happy whatever wish you

verbalize make it with a smile feel that

wish you can make the same wish again as

long as it has sincere meaning for you

or you can change the wish occasionally

may I be happy

my whole body be completely relaxed now

when you're sitting your mind is going

to wander and think about other things

as soon as you notice mind is thinking

about other things simply let go of

those thoughts even if you're in

mid-sentence just let it go and relax

smile and come back to this feeling of

loving-kindness

relax any tension and tightness in your

mind caused by the thoughts thoughts of

desire thoughts of the future thoughts

of the past thoughts of things you want

to do in the present I want I don't want

I I relax and smile release these

thoughts come back to the feeling of

loving-kindness and make a wish for your

own happiness with another smile it

doesn't matter if your mind wanders

fifty times during a sitting and fifty

times you see that you let it go you

relax you come back with a smile to your

meditation object that is a good sitting

a bad sitting would be if you stopped

smiling when you notice that you're

thinking and you continue thinking about

it and you don't let it go that's having

no awareness and no mindfulness

while you're sitting there can be

sensations that arise in your body you

might want to cough or there's an itch

heat vibration or just some painful

feeling doesn't matter as soon as that

arises your mind will be drawn to it

you'll start to think about that

sensation I wish it would stop I really

don't like this feeling when it happens

I wish it would just go away every

thought like that makes the feeling

become bigger and more intense allow

them relax into them if you do need to

COFF you simply allow that to happen and

continue on if you need to swallow go

ahead just don't move your body and

relax

the very first thing you do is to let go

of a thought about the sensation release

your attention from it just stop

thinking about it

that's release relax the tension or

tightness in your mind in your head

that's the next thing

so you're just really if you've stopped

thinking about it and then you relax

that desire that pulls you to the

thought makes you want to go to the

store and whatever it is now you may

notice there's still a tight mental fist

wrapped around that sensation because

you really don't like that sensation and

you really want it to go away

the truth is when a sensation arises

it's there that's the truth you can't

change it you can't wish for it to be

something something else it is just what

it is

so we be mindful we'd be in the present

everything is okay and it's okay for

that sensation to be there it has to be

okay because it's there anytime you try

to fight with the truth anytime you try

to control the truth anytime you try to

make the truth be anything other than it

is that is the cause of suffering

wanting to change things wanting things

to be something other than they are

something that you have to do in the

future you have to make something better

no everything is okay right now again

allow that sensation to be there make it

okay for it to be there

relax gently come back to the feeling of

being happy and making a wish for your

own happiness while you're doing this

meditation remember this is a smiling

meditation remember you want to put a

smile in your mind and even though your

eyes are closed put a little smile in

your eyes put a smile on your lips a

little one and a smile in your heart

radiate that smile from your heart

whenever you notice that you're not

smiling start again gently don't push

don't control just everything let it be

you have all the time in the world

after about 10 minutes now we can start

sending loving and kind thoughts to a

spiritual friend one spiritual friend in

the beginning of your training the

objective of this one spiritual friend

is described in this way a spiritual

friend is someone of the same sex

they're not a family member and they are

alive easy a spiritual friend is someone

who when you think of them and their

good qualities you really like them you

respect them and you will sincerely wish

them happiness once you pick your friend

don't change the friend to someone else

stay with just this one friend for some

time and you are told that it's ok to

change now this friend can be a friend

of yours it can be your teacher it can

be somebody who you know very well and

you like them and you respect them

somebody that you can feel

loving-kindness for and you don't have

other thoughts that interfere now we're

trying to get the mind to stay with just

one object in the beginning later when

there are signs of progress in your

meditation we'll add more people and

other methods but not just yet now you

make a wish for your spiritual friends

happiness just like you did for yourself

make a wish for his or her happiness may

you be free from suffering may your mind

be uplifted

may your mind be peaceful and calm smile

at your friend hold them in your heart

may your mind be open and accepted and

you have happiness just as I do and you

have joy

whatever wish you want to make for your

friend feel that wish take your

spiritual friend and put them right in

the middle of your heart smile and give

them a great big heart hug wish your

friend well feel that wish take a real

interest in your friend really like them

now you don't have to visualize

perfectly your friend all you have to do

is know they're there you are just

hanging out with your friend wrapping

them up in good kind thoughts if the

feeling slips a little smile more and

move back to sending it to yourself to

build it up again then come back to your

friend and keep it going with another

smile we only use one spiritual friend

to begin our training because the mind

may want to distract itself because it

says oh another spiritual friend is good

let me go there but that's actually the

mind distracting itself and not being

able to stay with one object later

you'll use other people and other groups

of people

so continue with your spiritual friend

wrap him or her up in your heart hold

them remember that puppy remember that

baby

bring your loving-kindness to them just

like you did before

if your mind wanders remember to release

the thought relax the tension pulling

you re smile return to your object your

feeling of loving-kindness for your

friend and repeat these are the six R's

these remind you of what to do when your

mind wanders

we don't jerk our mind back because if

we do that our mind will just keep doing

it again and again we only observe when

it is wandered we allow it and then we

just relax we don't try to control that

we see the tension and tightness we go

okay that's okay and it fades and then

we smile and come back this is different

than many other methods and it's much

more effective

may my friend be happy may they be free

from suffering

may they be happy

maybe they feel the kindness in my heart

may they be at peace in the present

moment

and everything be well in their lives

and they feel gratitude for what they

have

may they be free of anger either mind

and their heart be cruel

keep them in your heart give them a

heart hug

wrap them up in happiness

may we both be happy and we both be

loving and kind

they are mines be peaceful and quiet

may our minds be relaxed and still

hey my friend get everything that they

need

especially contentment and happiness

may their health be free of issues

either health be perfect and radiant

may they be happy

may they be content

now this is a feeling meditation notice

this feeling of loving-kindness and

again don't put too much attention on

what they look like but what the feeling

that you feel feels like can be subtle

it can be strong it can be weak it

doesn't matter just stay with this

feeling this warm glowing feeling don't

hold on to it just observe it that it be

there and when your mind wanders notice

how it does that investigate what

happened first what happens second

and smile again and come back to your

friend

may all beings be happy and content

you can visit our website when you think

you have things that you want to discuss

[Music]

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

welcome this is a guided loving-kindness

or meant to meditation instruction for

more information you can go to Dhamma

sukha dot org and read more about it

first find a comfortable position you

can sit on a cushion or sit in the chair

there is no magic to the floor we want

you to be comfortable there shouldn't be

any discomfort that's from your body the

mind will have enough to keep you busy

relax

whatever is comfortable take a deep

breath

let it out

take a minute or two to just be here

here in the present

this meditation is about observation and

not trying simply being and allowing

notice you are breathing

notice the feelings happening in the

body notice the feeling of sitting

how is your mind is it sleepy or is it

awake and full of energy are you feeling

restless or calm relaxed and slow down

settle into the chair into the cushion

relax your whole body everything that

comes into your awareness simply release

it and relax and come back to the

present don't pay any particular

attention to anything this will turn in

to later what we call the six arse

see how your mind is becoming spacious

you notice the entire room and

everything going on around you you relax

and be with it everything is okay you

feel some gratitude for being allowed to

sit quietly with nothing to do we're

thankful for having some time for

yourself

so let's get started with our meta our

loving-kindness meditation or what we

call from the sutas the practice of the

brahma vihara z' when you practice

loving-kindness meditation you first

start by sending loving and kind

thoughts to yourself you were a member a

time when you were happy when that happy

feeling arises smile it's a warm glowing

feeling in the center of your chest the

feeling is like holding a baby and

looking into its eyes you feel this

radiant loving-kindness in your heart or

perhaps a puppy or a kitten whatever

brought you this feeling of kindness of

warmth you let it be there we didn't try

you just allowed feel that happy feeling

now a really helpful technique is to

smile put a little smile on your lips

just a little one a Buddha smile smile

from your heart and smile from your mind

smiling can pull you out of negative

states and thinking so smile during your

whole sitting always come back to a

feeling of happiness with a smile

I'll take this happy feeling and radiate

it to yourself help it along with some

phrases like may I be happy may I be

content may I be peaceful

don't just say these phrases like a

mantra you need to feel them and only

use phrases as reminders of that warm

beautiful feeling phrases are not the

object they're only to nudge along this

beautiful feeling this feeling of

loving-kindness

now sit with your back reasonably

straight not too tight don't move your

body at all don't wiggle your toes don't

wiggle your fingers don't scratch don't

rub don't change your posture don't rock

back and forth sit very still like a

Buddha statue and remember on every

Buddha statue the Buddha is smiling the

little smile smile of equanimity of

happiness when you don't move it's like

getting water to freeze you can observe

the water but you can't push it or move

it you have to let it be there freezing

by itself relax into any tension and

tightness that makes you want to move

relax

smile you have this time for yourself be

content put everything else aside tell

your mind you'll think about all these

things later that might come up don't

worry they'll come up if they need to

may I be happy

may I be content

and I smile and be peaceful yeah I have

gratitude for everything that I have

as soon as that warm loving feeling

arises make a wish for your own

happiness may I be free from suffering

may my mind be uplifted may my mind be

peaceful and calm may my mind be open

and accepting

may I have happiness may I have joy

are you smiling put that little smile on

your lips and feel that smile radiating

throughout your body may I be content

whatever wish you make for yourself feel

that's sincere wish you know what it

feels like to be peaceful and calm bring

that feeling into your heart radiate

that feeling to yourself wish for

yourself to be happy whatever wish you

verbalize make it with a smile feel that

wish you can make the same wish again as

long as it has sincere meaning for you

or you can change the wish occasionally

may I be happy

my whole body be completely relaxed now

when you're sitting your mind is going

to wander and think about other things

as soon as you notice mind is thinking

about other things simply let go of

those thoughts even if you're in

mid-sentence just let it go and relax

smile and come back to this feeling of

loving-kindness

relax any tension and tightness in your

mind caused by the thoughts thoughts of

desire thoughts of the future thoughts

of the past thoughts of things you want

to do in the present I want I don't want

I I relax and smile release these

thoughts come back to the feeling of

loving-kindness and make a wish for your

own happiness with another smile it

doesn't matter if your mind wanders

fifty times during a sitting and fifty

times you see that you let it go you

relax you come back with a smile to your

meditation object that is a good sitting

a bad sitting would be if you stopped

smiling when you notice that you're

thinking and you continue thinking about

it and you don't let it go that's having

no awareness and no mindfulness

while you're sitting there can be

sensations that arise in your body you

might want to cough or there's an itch

heat vibration or just some painful

feeling doesn't matter as soon as that

arises your mind will be drawn to it

you'll start to think about that

sensation I wish it would stop I really

don't like this feeling when it happens

I wish it would just go away every

thought like that makes the feeling

become bigger and more intense allow

them relax into them if you do need to

COFF you simply allow that to happen and

continue on if you need to swallow go

ahead just don't move your body and

relax

the very first thing you do is to let go

of a thought about the sensation release

your attention from it just stop

thinking about it

that's release relax the tension or

tightness in your mind in your head

that's the next thing

so you're just really if you've stopped

thinking about it and then you relax

that desire that pulls you to the

thought makes you want to go to the

store and whatever it is now you may

notice there's still a tight mental fist

wrapped around that sensation because

you really don't like that sensation and

you really want it to go away

the truth is when a sensation arises

it's there that's the truth you can't

change it you can't wish for it to be

something something else it is just what

it is

so we be mindful we'd be in the present

everything is okay and it's okay for

that sensation to be there it has to be

okay because it's there anytime you try

to fight with the truth anytime you try

to control the truth anytime you try to

make the truth be anything other than it

is that is the cause of suffering

wanting to change things wanting things

to be something other than they are

something that you have to do in the

future you have to make something better

no everything is okay right now again

allow that sensation to be there make it

okay for it to be there

relax gently come back to the feeling of

being happy and making a wish for your

own happiness while you're doing this

meditation remember this is a smiling

meditation remember you want to put a

smile in your mind and even though your

eyes are closed put a little smile in

your eyes put a smile on your lips a

little one and a smile in your heart

radiate that smile from your heart

whenever you notice that you're not

smiling start again gently don't push

don't control just everything let it be

you have all the time in the world

after about 10 minutes now we can start

sending loving and kind thoughts to a

spiritual friend one spiritual friend in

the beginning of your training the

objective of this one spiritual friend

is described in this way a spiritual

friend is someone of the same sex

they're not a family member and they are

alive easy a spiritual friend is someone

who when you think of them and their

good qualities you really like them you

respect them and you will sincerely wish

them happiness once you pick your friend

don't change the friend to someone else

stay with just this one friend for some

time and you are told that it's ok to

change now this friend can be a friend

of yours it can be your teacher it can

be somebody who you know very well and

you like them and you respect them

somebody that you can feel

loving-kindness for and you don't have

other thoughts that interfere now we're

trying to get the mind to stay with just

one object in the beginning later when

there are signs of progress in your

meditation we'll add more people and

other methods but not just yet now you

make a wish for your spiritual friends

happiness just like you did for yourself

make a wish for his or her happiness may

you be free from suffering may your mind

be uplifted

may your mind be peaceful and calm smile

at your friend hold them in your heart

may your mind be open and accepted and

you have happiness just as I do and you

have joy

whatever wish you want to make for your

friend feel that wish take your

spiritual friend and put them right in

the middle of your heart smile and give

them a great big heart hug wish your

friend well feel that wish take a real

interest in your friend really like them

now you don't have to visualize

perfectly your friend all you have to do

is know they're there you are just

hanging out with your friend wrapping

them up in good kind thoughts if the

feeling slips a little smile more and

move back to sending it to yourself to

build it up again then come back to your

friend and keep it going with another

smile we only use one spiritual friend

to begin our training because the mind

may want to distract itself because it

says oh another spiritual friend is good

let me go there but that's actually the

mind distracting itself and not being

able to stay with one object later

you'll use other people and other groups

of people

so continue with your spiritual friend

wrap him or her up in your heart hold

them remember that puppy remember that

baby

bring your loving-kindness to them just

like you did before

if your mind wanders remember to release

the thought relax the tension pulling

you re smile return to your object your

feeling of loving-kindness for your

friend and repeat these are the six R's

these remind you of what to do when your

mind wanders

we don't jerk our mind back because if

we do that our mind will just keep doing

it again and again we only observe when

it is wandered we allow it and then we

just relax we don't try to control that

we see the tension and tightness we go

okay that's okay and it fades and then

we smile and come back this is different

than many other methods and it's much

more effective

may my friend be happy may they be free

from suffering

may they be happy

maybe they feel the kindness in my heart

may they be at peace in the present

moment

and everything be well in their lives

and they feel gratitude for what they

have

may they be free of anger either mind

and their heart be cruel

keep them in your heart give them a

heart hug

wrap them up in happiness

may we both be happy and we both be

loving and kind

they are mines be peaceful and quiet

may our minds be relaxed and still

hey my friend get everything that they

need

especially contentment and happiness

may their health be free of issues

either health be perfect and radiant

may they be happy

may they be content

now this is a feeling meditation notice

this feeling of loving-kindness and

again don't put too much attention on

what they look like but what the feeling

that you feel feels like can be subtle

it can be strong it can be weak it

doesn't matter just stay with this

feeling this warm glowing feeling don't

hold on to it just observe it that it be

there and when your mind wanders notice

how it does that investigate what

happened first what happens second

and smile again and come back to your

friend

may all beings be happy and content

you can visit our website when you think

you have things that you want to discuss

[Laughter]

[Music]

welcome this is a guided loving-kindness

or meant to meditation instruction for

more information you can go to Dhamma

sukha dot org and read more about it

first find a comfortable position you

can sit on a cushion or sit in the chair

there is no magic to the floor we want

you to be comfortable there shouldn't be

any discomfort that's from your body the

mind will have enough to keep you busy

relax

whatever is comfortable take a deep

breath

let it out

take a minute or two to just be here

here in the present

this meditation is about observation and

not trying simply being and allowing

notice you are breathing

notice the feelings happening in the

body notice the feeling of sitting

how is your mind is it sleepy or is it

awake and full of energy are you feeling

restless or calm relaxed and slow down

settle into the chair into the cushion

relax your whole body everything that

comes into your awareness simply release

it and relax and come back to the

present don't pay any particular

attention to anything this will turn in

to later what we call the six arse

see how your mind is becoming spacious

you notice the entire room and

everything going on around you you relax

and be with it everything is okay you

feel some gratitude for being allowed to

sit quietly with nothing to do we're

thankful for having some time for

yourself

so let's get started with our meta our

loving-kindness meditation or what we

call from the sutas the practice of the

brahma vihara z' when you practice

loving-kindness meditation you first

start by sending loving and kind

thoughts to yourself you were a member a

time when you were happy when that happy

feeling arises smile it's a warm glowing

feeling in the center of your chest the

feeling is like holding a baby and

looking into its eyes you feel this

radiant loving-kindness in your heart or

perhaps a puppy or a kitten whatever

brought you this feeling of kindness of

warmth you let it be there we didn't try

you just allowed feel that happy feeling

now a really helpful technique is to

smile put a little smile on your lips

just a little one a Buddha smile smile

from your heart and smile from your mind

smiling can pull you out of negative

states and thinking so smile during your

whole sitting always come back to a

feeling of happiness with a smile

I'll take this happy feeling and radiate

it to yourself help it along with some

phrases like may I be happy may I be

content may I be peaceful

don't just say these phrases like a

mantra you need to feel them and only

use phrases as reminders of that warm

beautiful feeling phrases are not the

object they're only to nudge along this

beautiful feeling this feeling of

loving-kindness

now sit with your back reasonably

straight not too tight don't move your

body at all don't wiggle your toes don't

wiggle your fingers don't scratch don't

rub don't change your posture don't rock

back and forth sit very still like a

Buddha statue and remember on every

Buddha statue the Buddha is smiling the

little smile smile of equanimity of

happiness when you don't move it's like

getting water to freeze you can observe

the water but you can't push it or move

it you have to let it be there freezing

by itself relax into any tension and

tightness that makes you want to move

relax

smile you have this time for yourself be

content put everything else aside tell

your mind you'll think about all these

things later that might come up don't

worry they'll come up if they need to

may I be happy

may I be content

and I smile and be peaceful yeah I have

gratitude for everything that I have

as soon as that warm loving feeling

arises make a wish for your own

happiness may I be free from suffering

may my mind be uplifted may my mind be

peaceful and calm may my mind be open

and accepting

may I have happiness may I have joy

are you smiling put that little smile on

your lips and feel that smile radiating

throughout your body may I be content

whatever wish you make for yourself feel

that's sincere wish you know what it

feels like to be peaceful and calm bring

that feeling into your heart radiate

that feeling to yourself wish for

yourself to be happy whatever wish you

verbalize make it with a smile feel that

wish you can make the same wish again as

long as it has sincere meaning for you

or you can change the wish occasionally

may I be happy

my whole body be completely relaxed now

when you're sitting your mind is going

to wander and think about other things

as soon as you notice mind is thinking

about other things simply let go of

those thoughts even if you're in

mid-sentence just let it go and relax

smile and come back to this feeling of

loving-kindness

relax any tension and tightness in your

mind caused by the thoughts thoughts of

desire thoughts of the future thoughts

of the past thoughts of things you want

to do in the present I want I don't want

I I relax and smile release these

thoughts come back to the feeling of

loving-kindness and make a wish for your

own happiness with another smile it

doesn't matter if your mind wanders

fifty times during a sitting and fifty

times you see that you let it go you

relax you come back with a smile to your

meditation object that is a good sitting

a bad sitting would be if you stopped

smiling when you notice that you're

thinking and you continue thinking about

it and you don't let it go that's having

no awareness and no mindfulness

while you're sitting there can be

sensations that arise in your body you

might want to cough or there's an itch

heat vibration or just some painful

feeling doesn't matter as soon as that

arises your mind will be drawn to it

you'll start to think about that

sensation I wish it would stop I really

don't like this feeling when it happens

I wish it would just go away every

thought like that makes the feeling

become bigger and more intense allow

them relax into them if you do need to

COFF you simply allow that to happen and

continue on if you need to swallow go

ahead just don't move your body and

relax

the very first thing you do is to let go

of a thought about the sensation release

your attention from it just stop

thinking about it

that's release relax the tension or

tightness in your mind in your head

that's the next thing

so you're just really if you've stopped

thinking about it and then you relax

that desire that pulls you to the

thought makes you want to go to the

store and whatever it is now you may

notice there's still a tight mental fist

wrapped around that sensation because

you really don't like that sensation and

you really want it to go away

the truth is when a sensation arises

it's there that's the truth you can't

change it you can't wish for it to be

something something else it is just what

it is

so we be mindful we'd be in the present

everything is okay and it's okay for

that sensation to be there it has to be

okay because it's there anytime you try

to fight with the truth anytime you try

to control the truth anytime you try to

make the truth be anything other than it

is that is the cause of suffering

wanting to change things wanting things

to be something other than they are

something that you have to do in the

future you have to make something better

no everything is okay right now again

allow that sensation to be there make it

okay for it to be there

relax gently come back to the feeling of

being happy and making a wish for your

own happiness while you're doing this

meditation remember this is a smiling

meditation remember you want to put a

smile in your mind and even though your

eyes are closed put a little smile in

your eyes put a smile on your lips a

little one and a smile in your heart

radiate that smile from your heart

whenever you notice that you're not

smiling start again gently don't push

don't control just everything let it be

you have all the time in the world

after about 10 minutes now we can start

sending loving and kind thoughts to a

spiritual friend one spiritual friend in

the beginning of your training the

objective of this one spiritual friend

is described in this way a spiritual

friend is someone of the same sex

they're not a family member and they are

alive easy a spiritual friend is someone

who when you think of them and their

good qualities you really like them you

respect them and you will sincerely wish

them happiness once you pick your friend

don't change the friend to someone else

stay with just this one friend for some

time and you are told that it's ok to

change now this friend can be a friend

of yours it can be your teacher it can

be somebody who you know very well and

you like them and you respect them

somebody that you can feel

loving-kindness for and you don't have

other thoughts that interfere now we're

trying to get the mind to stay with just

one object in the beginning later when

there are signs of progress in your

meditation we'll add more people and

other methods but not just yet now you

make a wish for your spiritual friends

happiness just like you did for yourself

make a wish for his or her happiness may

you be free from suffering may your mind

be uplifted

may your mind be peaceful and calm smile

at your friend hold them in your heart

may your mind be open and accepted and

you have happiness just as I do and you

have joy

whatever wish you want to make for your

friend feel that wish take your

spiritual friend and put them right in

the middle of your heart smile and give

them a great big heart hug wish your

friend well feel that wish take a real

interest in your friend really like them

now you don't have to visualize

perfectly your friend all you have to do

is know they're there you are just

hanging out with your friend wrapping

them up in good kind thoughts if the

feeling slips a little smile more and

move back to sending it to yourself to

build it up again then come back to your

friend and keep it going with another

smile we only use one spiritual friend

to begin our training because the mind

may want to distract itself because it

says oh another spiritual friend is good

let me go there but that's actually the

mind distracting itself and not being

able to stay with one object later

you'll use other people and other groups

of people

so continue with your spiritual friend

wrap him or her up in your heart hold

them remember that puppy remember that

baby

bring your loving-kindness to them just

like you did before

if your mind wanders remember to release

the thought relax the tension pulling

you re smile return to your object your

feeling of loving-kindness for your

friend and repeat these are the six R's

these remind you of what to do when your

mind wanders

we don't jerk our mind back because if

we do that our mind will just keep doing

it again and again we only observe when

it is wandered we allow it and then we

just relax we don't try to control that

we see the tension and tightness we go

okay that's okay and it fades and then

we smile and come back this is different

than many other methods and it's much

more effective

may my friend be happy may they be free

from suffering

may they be happy

maybe they feel the kindness in my heart

may they be at peace in the present

moment

and everything be well in their lives

and they feel gratitude for what they

have

may they be free of anger either mind

and their heart be cruel

keep them in your heart give them a

heart hug

wrap them up in happiness

may we both be happy and we both be

loving and kind

they are mines be peaceful and quiet

may our minds be relaxed and still

hey my friend get everything that they

need

especially contentment and happiness

may their health be free of issues

either health be perfect and radiant

may they be happy

may they be content

now this is a feeling meditation notice

this feeling of loving-kindness and

again don't put too much attention on

what they look like but what the feeling

that you feel feels like can be subtle

it can be strong it can be weak it

doesn't matter just stay with this

feeling this warm glowing feeling don't

hold on to it just observe it that it be

there and when your mind wanders notice

how it does that investigate what

happened first what happens second

and smile again and come back to your

friend

may all beings be happy and content

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