From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=2uPWuhcdxHE

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

so I'm gonna read a little bit from the

simile of the saw and then I'm gonna

start talking about what you can expect

at the end after getting off of retreat

let me see if I can find it forces of

speech that others may use when they

address you their speech may be timely

or untimely true or untrue gentle or

harsh connected with good or connected

with harm spoken with a mind of

loving-kindness or with inner hatred

when others address you their speech may

be timely or untimely when others

address you their speech may be true or

untrue when others address you their

speech may be gentle or harsh when

others address you their speech may be

connected with good or with harm when

others address you their speech may be

spoken with a mind of loving-kindness or

with inner hate here you should train

thus this is the teaching of this suta

our minds will remain unaffected and we

shall utter no evil words we shall abide

compassionate for their wealth

so anybody that comes at you with any

kind of speech that you feel is not

appropriate instead of paying attention

to what they say what you want to do is

start radiating loving-kindness to them

and be compassionate to them with a mind

of loving-kindness without inner hate we

shall abide pervading that person with a

mind and Bude with loving-kindness and

starting with him we shall abide

pervading the all-encompassing world

with a mind and viewed with

loving-kindness abundant exalted

immeasurable without hostility without

ill-will that is how we should be

trained so somebody says something that

you know is not true so what doesn't

matter somebody comes at you with their

anger so what it doesn't matter what

matters is what you're doing in your

mind and how you are

being mindful at that time you've been

here for ten days you've been practicing

loving-kindness meditation for ten days

now it's time to take this meditation

out with you in your daily life so other

people have their own opinions and they

can have their own opinions of what's

true or what's untrue they can have

their opinions to be judgmental or not

it's up to them but what this practice

is really teaching us is to send loving

and kind thoughts to them no matter what

they say

and then use that person as the reminder

to send loving-kindness to all beings in

all the directions the more you can

remember to do that the easier life

becomes you don't have a mind that's

gonna get tight intense because somebody

said something in a way I don't like it

because somebody came at me with anger

your mind can have balance in it this is

what I've tried then trying to show you

balance in your mind it doesn't matter

what somebody's opinion is what matters

is what you're doing with your own mind

you cause your own suffering by taking

thoughts and feelings personally and

using a kind of speech that sometimes

isn't very pleasant to be around other

people's opinions does not have to

affect you in a negative way or a

positive way for that matter what

matters is what are you doing with your

mind in the present moment when you

remember that when you're talking to

everyone or anyone excuse me that you

radiate loving kindness to them what's

the easiest way to read loving-kindness

you smile and give that smile away

practice your generosity as much as you

can remember and that helps your mind to

be more alert it lets joy arise in your

mind and when you have joy in your mind

your mind is very alert your mind is

very quick to notice when it's not there

so you can let it go and relax and and

use smiling as your object of meditation

with your daily activities I've been

trying to get you to practice that for

the whole week and the more you practice

it the more uplifted your mind becomes

the more uplifted your mind becomes the

better your mindfulness is and then you

won't get knocked off balance when

somebody camp comes at you with some

kind of speech that you don't

particularly like so this this suta is

is pretty amazing because the buddha is

showing us that meditation is not just

about sitting like a log you're it's not

about not moving it's about bringing

happiness to other people and the more

you practice giving other people your

smile and your happiness

the more happiness comes back to you the

more you affect the world around you in

a positive way

so it's a real important aspect of the

practice to realize that it's not only

sitting in meditation or doing a walking

meditation this is about living this is

about watching what your mind does and

how you cause your own pain and how to

let go of that pain now when you get off

retreat just tomorrow morning we're

gonna give you the five precepts then

you're gonna go back home and you're not

going to be able to go as deep into your

meditation as you are here because

there's other things that are going to

start distracting you and other people

are gonna talk to you and you're just

going to get back into your daily life

whatever that happens to be so your mind

is not going to be as peaceful and calm

and you're going to lose some of the

edge that you have here okay everybody

here has gotten at least into the fourth

jhana most of you have gone further than

that and that's just great but when you

start your daily act your daily practice

again and I recommend that you sit every

day for at least an hour and if you have

time sit longer start out by radiating

loving-kindness to all beings in all the

directions as you become deeper in your

meditation then it will change into

compassion it will change into

joy it'll change into nothingness so

you'll have the compassion the joy the

equanimity and then go from there

there are going to be days when you have

a very active mind because there's going

to be a lot of things happening welcome

to the real world

you sit down and meditation and your

mind is just as active as it was when

you were sitting or when you were doing

your your daily activities don't be

shocked at that don't be upset that your

mind is not going to settle down as

quick as you want it to who wants it to

so what you want to do is just realize

that if you have had a very active day

and you've been very busy when you sit

down in meditation your mind is going to

be active for a little while so you're

going to have practice using the six R's

I highly recommend sitting in the

morning that's a great way to start the

day now if you start just sitting in the

evening then a friend comes over and

we're gonna go out to eat and then you

get done and they leave and you're tired

and you say well I'm gonna sit tomorrow

and then something else happens and you

don't do it and before long you get out

of the habit of doing it when you do it

in the morning it's a great way to start

the day and if you feel like sitting in

the evening that's your bonus meditation

now your progress in meditation will

start to improve as you do more but it's

not going to be so fast as it was here

that's just a natural progress of things

here what I was doing for each one of

you with

it was like the the book that was in 60s

or 70s about putting a crack in the

cosmic egg so I was cracking all of your

eggs now you got the work to get out I

gave you the opening I showed you what

to do and you all understand very well

this has been a great retreat so many of

you have let go of so much pain and

suffering now you're still gonna go and

get caught by this or that and it's

still gonna have painful things arise in

your daily life welcome to real life

but you're not going to be caught as

long I gave often I give this example

because it's a great example of how this

lady who was having a lot of emotional

problems with her husband and he kept on

doing things that made her upset when

she came and started practicing with me

she would get mad at her husband for two

weeks and she was downright nasty and

saying things that were really not nice

and doing things to get even because he

said something and she recognized all

the pain that she was going through and

she wanted to see if I could help when

she walked in the room I wanted to walk

out it was unpleasant feeling around her

there was no getting around it but she

came to see me so I was caught

so I told her that she could start by

practicing loving-kindness just to

herself and she said well I have three

children I don't have much time to do

the meditation when am I supposed to do

it I have one child that has to be at

school at 6:30 and in Malaysia they they

have morning school for certain age and

then afternoon school for another age so

she's running a taxi service pretty much

of the time and the other things that

the kid the kids needed to get into

dancing school and all of these kinds of

things as she was running around a lot

so I said well get up a half an hour

early well that's the only time she

could get up and meditate that it was

quiet so she started doing that over a

period of time her husband would say

something that would make her mad and

instead of staying mad for two weeks she

only stayed mad for ten days and as she

kept on practicing now this is over a

period of five years because she didn't

have time to come to a retreat she had

to take care of her children and doing

other things so after a period of time

she kept meditating and he would do

something that would make her mad and

she'd only stayed mad for seven days and

then before long if she would only stay

mad for four days

and then it was two days and then it was

a day and then it was a few hours and

she got down so that he would do

something that would make her mad she

still had that

coming up but she had only stay mad for

five or ten minutes and then she just

let it go because she saw the pain that

she was causing herself when you're

doing this practice it is a gradual

progress it is a gradual training now

the training that I've showed you has

been accelerated but when you go back

out into your daily activities it's not

gonna be quite as good your mindfulness

isn't gonna be quite as strong you're

still gonna get caught by the same

things you always get caught by

emotionally but they won't last for as

long because you'll see how much pain

you caused yourself and you'll start

letting it go and then you'll start

developing the equanimity more and more

strongly so the emotional of upsets

don't even bother you as much you still

get caught occasionally but not not for

so long and then it goes away pretty

quick

now the whole trick of doing

loving-kindness meditation or staying

with your object - meditation or staying

with smiling is practice when you're

walking from here to your car what do

you think about this and that nonsense

here and nonsense there well instead of

doing that why don't you as soon as you

go out your front door and close the

door use that as the reminder to start

radiating loving-kindness to yourself to

all beings to any individual you want to

radiate loving-kindness to it's up to

you but use that door as the reminder

every time you go through it try to

remember now's my time to practice

radiating loving-kindness then when you

get into the car try to keep it going

for as long as you can remember when you

get up in the morning if you have been

practicing what I suggested at the first

part of the retreat of making the

determination of waking up with a

smiling happy face then keep that

smiling and happy feeling going through

your morning activities you have to wash

your face you have to brush your teeth

when you're brushing your teeth you can

smile

because you're smiling already just put

the smile in your heart doing a lot of

different kind of activities make a key

in your mind every time I touch this

door I'm going to start radiating

loving-kindness I did a practice for a

period of time

where I would stand up and start walking

someplace I always started out on my

right foot and that's when I started

practicing loving kindness difficult

practice when I saw that I wasn't doing

that then I would go back and sit down

and get up and do it again but monks can

do that sort of thing we have the time

to do that sort of thing so sending love

loving and kind thoughts to everyone

around you is a wonderful practice when

you're in a store and there's a long

line to check out what are you doing

with your mind looking at your watch

geez I hate to be and then line like

this then you recognize you know

everybody else in line is thinking the

same thing basically

so start sending them loving and kind

thoughts say something to the cashier

about what a great job she is doing send

her loving and kind speech every time

you can remember to do that

so it's a pretty amazing kind of

practice when you make up your mind that

that's what you're going to do don't get

off retreat and say well I want to go

back and be the way I was before the

start of the retreat don't do that that

says that the retreat was a waste of

time for you the retreat is such that

you go through changes and these changes

are positive these changes help you to

have an uplifted mind keep that uplifted

mind going as much as you can remember

well every time this person says that I

always act this way

well guess who has some attachments

there guess who causes themself pain

when that other person doesn't act

exactly the way you think they should

and then you start giving them words

that aren't so kind they don't lead to a

mind that's uplifted they lead to making

the other person angry so now you're at

war how many times do you have the

thought you always act that way you

always say that how many times does that

happen when the truth is nobody always

is anything

but your expectation that they're going

to act in this particular way always

gets met because that's the kind of

image you're holding of that person

you're not giving them the space to

change that's what the forgiveness

meditation is all about when you forgive

somebody for making a mistake then that

leaves space for them to change but when

you criticize them because they're

always making the same mistake over and

over and over they're gonna keep doing

it because that's your image of them and

you are affecting the world around you

with your imaging now I told you when I

was talking about the fold path that I

hold an image of being prosperous being

prosperous doesn't necessarily mean

being rich being prosperous means I'm

able to help other people and that makes

me so happy

there's there's nothing better in the

world to me then helping you to let go

of your suffering and I'm reasonably

prosperous at doing this

and that that just it makes my day

it makes my work my month it makes my

years if stuff if people want to help

they can help we're building a center we

now have a meditation hall it only

started out as an idea and then we could

put that idea down on paper and all of a

sudden the prosperity started coming in

so we could build it we have a lot of

other little projects that we need to

build for eventually we want to have a

section of the land for female monks

very important

and it has to it has to meet certain

requirements according to the Buddha's

teaching so that's the way we have to do

it it will happen when the time is right

I don't have one doubt in my mind that

it will happen well how is it gonna

happen where is the money for it

I don't know I don't care the money will

be there when we're ready to start our

treasurer started frowning with that and

I'm the only person in my family and I

have a fairly large family

that's a Buddhist and I'm a Buddhist

monk and I don't have any money and they

see me traveling all over the world well

how can you afford to do that they they

like me well enough that they want me to

come visit okay send me a ticket uncle

that's the way it used to be now we're

gonna get a little bit more picky on

that tickets let's come here so they're

not not quite so often this is this is

hard traveling what I've been doing

lately I think the dogs have forgotten

who we are

one of the things that the Buddha said

was what you think and ponder on that is

the inclination of your mind if you

think and ponder on being poor never

having people that are helpful any any

number of images that you hold in your

mind the more you think and ponder on

that the more your mind tends to think

and ponder on it I think and ponder a

lot on being prosperous I think and

ponder a lot on being able to help other

people and it happened but if you think

and ponder on how you hate this other

person for doing something that you

didn't like well guess what kind of an

image you're holding and does that lead

to your happiness and well-being or not

the more you think and ponder on

negative things the more negative things

occur the more you think and positive

and and think and ponder on positive

things the more positive things will

start to happen for you this

what the meditation is about it's about

developing a wholesome mind and the

Buddha promises in the sutras that when

you develop a wholesome mind good things

will happen for you life becomes magical

the more you think and ponder on

positive uplifting things the more you

practice your generosity this isn't just

giving money it's giving your thoughts

your positive thoughts giving your smile

away wishing somebody else happiness

saying things that make other people

smile saying things that help them to

have more confidence in themselves doing

things that help other people that's

what life is all about now things in

this country they've tried to develop

breaking up of the family mom and dad

have to work the kids come home and

there's nobody home they start acting in

ways that are bizarre they need to have

love so when you see that send it to

them it's a kind of protection I've been

in situations where there was a lot of

people with bad intention towards me and

I start sending loving kindness to them

and all of a sudden the leaders start

shaking his head and just walks away

that happens

have to remember to do this and the more

you can remember to be kind and giving

and helpful to other people the more

other people will be kind and giving and

helpful to you so what are you gonna do

when you get off retreat go back to the

way you were where you were suffering

we're not it is your choice you can do

it or not but it's more magical when you

do the positive stuff you start seeing

miracles start happening and this is a

promise if you continue on helping

smiling wishing other people happiness

you will see miracles you'll see people

go from being unhappy and sad to all of

us uh Denise miling now if that's not a

miracle I don't know what is and the

more you can do that the easier it

becomes the easier the meditation

becomes for you and the more other

people respond to you in a positive way

so this is what I've tried to show you

for the aula ten days that you're here

and there is a release from the

suffering it can happen to you at any

time when you keep your practice going

there is a suit that it talks about

people that don't keep their precepts

even after they have an experience of

Nibbana if you don't keep your precepts

and you stop practicing morality you can

lose your attainment you will over

indulge in your in your sense pleasures

you can lose your attainment if you over

indulge in it what you think and ponder

on that's the inclination of your mind

when the inclination of your mind wants

to indulge in all kinds of activities

that you know is going to pull your mind

away from being loving and kind and

mindful then you're gonna lose the

suffering will come back it works that

way until you get to the fruition so

keep your precepts don't break your

precepts for any reason

especially the fourth precept the fourth

precept is about speech don't tell lies

don't curse curse is a low person that

curses all the night don't try to divide

people with your speech don't do any

gossip it's important that you follow

that precept because it'll come back and

bite you if it doesn't if you if you

don't it will cause you all kinds of

problems and people will become less

likely to trust you if you break the

precept of speech so keeping the

precepts about not killing living beings

on purpose not taking anything that's

not given not having wrong sexual

activity wrong sexual activity means not

having sexual activity with somebody it

is too young or they have a mate okay

any other kind of sexual activity as

long as it's not forceful it doesn't

cause anybody else pain or suffering

that's your choice

we don't have to be celibate but I want

you to be celibate when you come and do

the retreat because it keeps your mind

more uplifted but when you go home I'm

going to give you five precepts the

third precept says no wrong sexual

activity eight precepts means no sexual

activity so for this period this is not

a time to indulge in sexual activity

when you go home it's your choice what

you do now the thing with the precepts

is there's nobody in heaven that's going

to throw down lightning bolts if you

break one of the precepts but you start

to have a mind that starts to feel

guilty because you know you shouldn't

have done that how food ism is not about

feeling guilty about things we leave

that for other religions so when you see

you've made a mistake forgive yourself

for making the mistake take the precepts

again and I recommend everybody take the

precepts we give every morning home and

recite them every morning not as a right

and ritual as a reminder to keep the

precepts without breaking them so if you

break a precept you say something that's

not true okay and stop you know you made

a mistake forgive yourself for making a

mistake

take the precepts again with the

determination not to do that again so

you don't keep doing the same thing over

and over again

and then continue on I've had people

talk to me about the precepts innings if

I okay you finally convinced me I'm

gonna have to keep the precepts how long

do I have to keep them and my answer is

well we'll start it a hundred years and

go up from there if you break a precept

you can look forward to having

hindrances arise not only in meditation

but in your daily life more hindrances

will arise life becomes much more

difficult and you start losing a lot of

happiness when you break the precepts

and it's your choice there's nobody

that's kind of sit over and judgment of

you whether you keep or not you know for

yourself whether you do that that's good

enough I've given you the key to taking

the precepts again with the

determination not to break them that's

the key try to do that for as long as

you possibly can then the next time you

come for a retreat the retreat will be

much easier because you won't have so

many hindrances knocking you out of your

different jhanas whatever it happens to

be

okay now did I answer all the questions

that you might have about what's going

to happen when you get off retreat or do

you have some questions everyday I lover

absolutely brilliant kindness meditation

and let it go

at its own speed to Karuna the joy when

they're meant to neither perception nor

non-perception it depends on you how can

i how can i tell you how long is good in

you don't choose it you just start with

loving-kindness and let it go by itself

you don't try to I want to do joy today

know do loving-kindness and progress as

it will to the deeper States okay

same you saw it happen

well then why do you think it's going to

happen different you saw the way it

happens automatically you saw how it

happened automatically that is the way

that the Buddha is teaching us to do it

yeah that's great there are times that I

start talking about karma and there's a

soup de in here that says what you have

to do to be intelligent and what happens

that makes you stupid

and quite often when I was in Asia there

was an awful lot of Chinese that would

practice with me and Chinese are taught

not to ask questions ever but they're

real ambitious and they want to do

things in the right way so I would tell

them this story about when I was with my

teacher

Lucille Ananda he was a Burmese ayodhya

very famous I must have asked ask him 20

to 25 questions a day for two years I

was away I wanted to find out everything

I could and finally I asked him a

question and he stopped and he looked at

me and he said when you're reborn as a

human being you're going to be the

smartest person in the whole world did

you want to know everything but when I

would tell the Chinese that you're gonna

be reborn stupid if you don't ask any

questions all of the sudden hands went

up

in the most comfortable posture you can

do you see a lot of people here sitting

in chairs you're sitting on the floor

you're a young man you haven't got the

bad knees or the bad back so much but

there are times when sitting in a chair

is appropriate in Asia what I would do

they all think that they're supposed to

sit on the floor but they've been

sitting in chairs their whole life so

sitting on the floor is painful but if

they want to continue sitting on the

floors I'd tell them okay sit on the

floor one time sit in a chair the next

time give your body a chance to get the

circulation going a lot of people that

are practicing meditation they tell you

to walk very slowly well if you're

walking very slowly you don't get the

blood circulation very much because when

you're sitting the blood starts to go

down into your legs and that can cause

pain in itself so I tell you when you're

doing your walking walk at a normal pace

or a normal fast pace so that you get

the circulation going and that helps

stretch out the muscles

but there's no magic and sitting on the

floor so sit in a chair sit in a floor

change it every now and then whatever is

most comfortable for you that's the best

way to do it and recognize that there is

a difference between real pain and

meditation pain real pain doesn't go

away so you get up and your your knee

hurt while you were sitting and you keep

limping because it really hurts

well don't sit that way again don't sit

in a way that's going to cause problems

for you change that so that you can sit

in a comfortable way without causing

harm to your body if it is meditation

pain that's the different story you want

to sit with that a little bit longer but

not so much that it causes a lot of pain

and frustration sit with it well six are

it and then get up start walking the

pain goes away get your circulation

going and then come back and sit I want

to say thank you for working so hard

that sure Samaritan

me suffering ones be suffering free and

the fear struck fearless be me the

grieving shed all grief and may all

beings find relief may all being shared

this merit that we've thus acquired for

the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness may beings inhabiting space

and earth Davis and Nagas a mighty power

share this merit of ours may they long

protect with Buddha's dispensation

so I'm gonna read a little bit from the

simile of the saw and then I'm gonna

start talking about what you can expect

at the end after getting off of retreat

let me see if I can find it forces of

speech that others may use when they

address you their speech may be timely

or untimely true or untrue gentle or

harsh connected with good or connected

with harm spoken with a mind of

loving-kindness or with inner hatred

when others address you their speech may

be timely or untimely when others

address you their speech may be true or

untrue when others address you their

speech may be gentle or harsh when

others address you their speech may be

connected with good or with harm when

others address you their speech may be

spoken with a mind of loving-kindness or

with inner hate here you should train

thus this is the teaching of this suta

our minds will remain unaffected and we

shall utter no evil words we shall abide

compassionate for their wealth

so anybody that comes at you with any

kind of speech that you feel is not

appropriate instead of paying attention

to what they say what you want to do is

start radiating loving-kindness to them

and be compassionate to them with a mind

of loving-kindness without inner hate we

shall abide pervading that person with a

mind and Bude with loving-kindness and

starting with him we shall abide

pervading the all-encompassing world

with a mind and viewed with

loving-kindness abundant exalted

immeasurable without hostility without

ill-will that is how we should be

trained so somebody says something that

you know is not true so what doesn't

matter somebody comes at you with their

anger so what it doesn't matter what

matters is what you're doing in your

mind and how you are

being mindful at that time you've been

here for ten days you've been practicing

loving-kindness meditation for ten days

now it's time to take this meditation

out with you in your daily life so other

people have their own opinions and they

can have their own opinions of what's

true or what's untrue they can have

their opinions to be judgmental or not

it's up to them but what this practice

is really teaching us is to send loving

and kind thoughts to them no matter what

they say

and then use that person as the reminder

to send loving-kindness to all beings in

all the directions the more you can

remember to do that the easier life

becomes you don't have a mind that's

gonna get tight intense because somebody

said something in a way I don't like it

because somebody came at me with anger

your mind can have balance in it this is

what I've tried then trying to show you

balance in your mind it doesn't matter

what somebody's opinion is what matters

is what you're doing with your own mind

you cause your own suffering by taking

thoughts and feelings personally and

using a kind of speech that sometimes

isn't very pleasant to be around other

people's opinions does not have to

affect you in a negative way or a

positive way for that matter what

matters is what are you doing with your

mind in the present moment when you

remember that when you're talking to

everyone or anyone excuse me that you

radiate loving kindness to them what's

the easiest way to read loving-kindness

you smile and give that smile away

practice your generosity as much as you

can remember and that helps your mind to

be more alert it lets joy arise in your

mind and when you have joy in your mind

your mind is very alert your mind is

very quick to notice when it's not there

so you can let it go and relax and and

use smiling as your object of meditation

with your daily activities I've been

trying to get you to practice that for

the whole week and the more you practice

it the more uplifted your mind becomes

the more uplifted your mind becomes the

better your mindfulness is and then you

won't get knocked off balance when

somebody camp comes at you with some

kind of speech that you don't

particularly like so this this suta is

is pretty amazing because the buddha is

showing us that meditation is not just

about sitting like a log you're it's not

about not moving it's about bringing

happiness to other people and the more

you practice giving other people your

smile and your happiness

the more happiness comes back to you the

more you affect the world around you in

a positive way

so it's a real important aspect of the

practice to realize that it's not only

sitting in meditation or doing a walking

meditation this is about living this is

about watching what your mind does and

how you cause your own pain and how to

let go of that pain now when you get off

retreat just tomorrow morning we're

gonna give you the five precepts then

you're gonna go back home and you're not

going to be able to go as deep into your

meditation as you are here because

there's other things that are going to

start distracting you and other people

are gonna talk to you and you're just

going to get back into your daily life

whatever that happens to be so your mind

is not going to be as peaceful and calm

and you're going to lose some of the

edge that you have here okay everybody

here has gotten at least into the fourth

jhana most of you have gone further than

that and that's just great but when you

start your daily act your daily practice

again and I recommend that you sit every

day for at least an hour and if you have

time sit longer start out by radiating

loving-kindness to all beings in all the

directions as you become deeper in your

meditation then it will change into

compassion it will change into

joy it'll change into nothingness so

you'll have the compassion the joy the

equanimity and then go from there

there are going to be days when you have

a very active mind because there's going

to be a lot of things happening welcome

to the real world

you sit down and meditation and your

mind is just as active as it was when

you were sitting or when you were doing

your your daily activities don't be

shocked at that don't be upset that your

mind is not going to settle down as

quick as you want it to who wants it to

so what you want to do is just realize

that if you have had a very active day

and you've been very busy when you sit

down in meditation your mind is going to

be active for a little while so you're

going to have practice using the six R's

I highly recommend sitting in the

morning that's a great way to start the

day now if you start just sitting in the

evening then a friend comes over and

we're gonna go out to eat and then you

get done and they leave and you're tired

and you say well I'm gonna sit tomorrow

and then something else happens and you

don't do it and before long you get out

of the habit of doing it when you do it

in the morning it's a great way to start

the day and if you feel like sitting in

the evening that's your bonus meditation

now your progress in meditation will

start to improve as you do more but it's

not going to be so fast as it was here

that's just a natural progress of things

here what I was doing for each one of

you with

it was like the the book that was in 60s

or 70s about putting a crack in the

cosmic egg so I was cracking all of your

eggs now you got the work to get out I

gave you the opening I showed you what

to do and you all understand very well

this has been a great retreat so many of

you have let go of so much pain and

suffering now you're still gonna go and

get caught by this or that and it's

still gonna have painful things arise in

your daily life welcome to real life

but you're not going to be caught as

long I gave often I give this example

because it's a great example of how this

lady who was having a lot of emotional

problems with her husband and he kept on

doing things that made her upset when

she came and started practicing with me

she would get mad at her husband for two

weeks and she was downright nasty and

saying things that were really not nice

and doing things to get even because he

said something and she recognized all

the pain that she was going through and

she wanted to see if I could help when

she walked in the room I wanted to walk

out it was unpleasant feeling around her

there was no getting around it but she

came to see me so I was caught

so I told her that she could start by

practicing loving-kindness just to

herself and she said well I have three

children I don't have much time to do

the meditation when am I supposed to do

it I have one child that has to be at

school at 6:30 and in Malaysia they they

have morning school for certain age and

then afternoon school for another age so

she's running a taxi service pretty much

of the time and the other things that

the kid the kids needed to get into

dancing school and all of these kinds of

things as she was running around a lot

so I said well get up a half an hour

early well that's the only time she

could get up and meditate that it was

quiet so she started doing that over a

period of time her husband would say

something that would make her mad and

instead of staying mad for two weeks she

only stayed mad for ten days and as she

kept on practicing now this is over a

period of five years because she didn't

have time to come to a retreat she had

to take care of her children and doing

other things so after a period of time

she kept meditating and he would do

something that would make her mad and

she'd only stayed mad for seven days and

then before long if she would only stay

mad for four days

and then it was two days and then it was

a day and then it was a few hours and

she got down so that he would do

something that would make her mad she

still had that

coming up but she had only stay mad for

five or ten minutes and then she just

let it go because she saw the pain that

she was causing herself when you're

doing this practice it is a gradual

progress it is a gradual training now

the training that I've showed you has

been accelerated but when you go back

out into your daily activities it's not

gonna be quite as good your mindfulness

isn't gonna be quite as strong you're

still gonna get caught by the same

things you always get caught by

emotionally but they won't last for as

long because you'll see how much pain

you caused yourself and you'll start

letting it go and then you'll start

developing the equanimity more and more

strongly so the emotional of upsets

don't even bother you as much you still

get caught occasionally but not not for

so long and then it goes away pretty

quick

now the whole trick of doing

loving-kindness meditation or staying

with your object - meditation or staying

with smiling is practice when you're

walking from here to your car what do

you think about this and that nonsense

here and nonsense there well instead of

doing that why don't you as soon as you

go out your front door and close the

door use that as the reminder to start

radiating loving-kindness to yourself to

all beings to any individual you want to

radiate loving-kindness to it's up to

you but use that door as the reminder

every time you go through it try to

remember now's my time to practice

radiating loving-kindness then when you

get into the car try to keep it going

for as long as you can remember when you

get up in the morning if you have been

practicing what I suggested at the first

part of the retreat of making the

determination of waking up with a

smiling happy face then keep that

smiling and happy feeling going through

your morning activities you have to wash

your face you have to brush your teeth

when you're brushing your teeth you can

smile

because you're smiling already just put

the smile in your heart doing a lot of

different kind of activities make a key

in your mind every time I touch this

door I'm going to start radiating

loving-kindness I did a practice for a

period of time

where I would stand up and start walking

someplace I always started out on my

right foot and that's when I started

practicing loving kindness difficult

practice when I saw that I wasn't doing

that then I would go back and sit down

and get up and do it again but monks can

do that sort of thing we have the time

to do that sort of thing so sending love

loving and kind thoughts to everyone

around you is a wonderful practice when

you're in a store and there's a long

line to check out what are you doing

with your mind looking at your watch

geez I hate to be and then line like

this then you recognize you know

everybody else in line is thinking the

same thing basically

so start sending them loving and kind

thoughts say something to the cashier

about what a great job she is doing send

her loving and kind speech every time

you can remember to do that

so it's a pretty amazing kind of

practice when you make up your mind that

that's what you're going to do don't get

off retreat and say well I want to go

back and be the way I was before the

start of the retreat don't do that that

says that the retreat was a waste of

time for you the retreat is such that

you go through changes and these changes

are positive these changes help you to

have an uplifted mind keep that uplifted

mind going as much as you can remember

well every time this person says that I

always act this way

well guess who has some attachments

there guess who causes themself pain

when that other person doesn't act

exactly the way you think they should

and then you start giving them words

that aren't so kind they don't lead to a

mind that's uplifted they lead to making

the other person angry so now you're at

war how many times do you have the

thought you always act that way you

always say that how many times does that

happen when the truth is nobody always

is anything

but your expectation that they're going

to act in this particular way always

gets met because that's the kind of

image you're holding of that person

you're not giving them the space to

change that's what the forgiveness

meditation is all about when you forgive

somebody for making a mistake then that

leaves space for them to change but when

you criticize them because they're

always making the same mistake over and

over and over they're gonna keep doing

it because that's your image of them and

you are affecting the world around you

with your imaging now I told you when I

was talking about the fold path that I

hold an image of being prosperous being

prosperous doesn't necessarily mean

being rich being prosperous means I'm

able to help other people and that makes

me so happy

there's there's nothing better in the

world to me then helping you to let go

of your suffering and I'm reasonably

prosperous at doing this

and that that just it makes my day

it makes my work my month it makes my

years if stuff if people want to help

they can help we're building a center we

now have a meditation hall it only

started out as an idea and then we could

put that idea down on paper and all of a

sudden the prosperity started coming in

so we could build it we have a lot of

other little projects that we need to

build for eventually we want to have a

section of the land for female monks

very important

and it has to it has to meet certain

requirements according to the Buddha's

teaching so that's the way we have to do

it it will happen when the time is right

I don't have one doubt in my mind that

it will happen well how is it gonna

happen where is the money for it

I don't know I don't care the money will

be there when we're ready to start our

treasurer started frowning with that and

I'm the only person in my family and I

have a fairly large family

that's a Buddhist and I'm a Buddhist

monk and I don't have any money and they

see me traveling all over the world well

how can you afford to do that they they

like me well enough that they want me to

come visit okay send me a ticket uncle

that's the way it used to be now we're

gonna get a little bit more picky on

that tickets let's come here so they're

not not quite so often this is this is

hard traveling what I've been doing

lately I think the dogs have forgotten

who we are

one of the things that the Buddha said

was what you think and ponder on that is

the inclination of your mind if you

think and ponder on being poor never

having people that are helpful any any

number of images that you hold in your

mind the more you think and ponder on

that the more your mind tends to think

and ponder on it I think and ponder a

lot on being prosperous I think and

ponder a lot on being able to help other

people and it happened but if you think

and ponder on how you hate this other

person for doing something that you

didn't like well guess what kind of an

image you're holding and does that lead

to your happiness and well-being or not

the more you think and ponder on

negative things the more negative things

occur the more you think and positive

and and think and ponder on positive

things the more positive things will

start to happen for you this

what the meditation is about it's about

developing a wholesome mind and the

Buddha promises in the sutras that when

you develop a wholesome mind good things

will happen for you life becomes magical

the more you think and ponder on

positive uplifting things the more you

practice your generosity this isn't just

giving money it's giving your thoughts

your positive thoughts giving your smile

away wishing somebody else happiness

saying things that make other people

smile saying things that help them to

have more confidence in themselves doing

things that help other people that's

what life is all about now things in

this country they've tried to develop

breaking up of the family mom and dad

have to work the kids come home and

there's nobody home they start acting in

ways that are bizarre they need to have

love so when you see that send it to

them it's a kind of protection I've been

in situations where there was a lot of

people with bad intention towards me and

I start sending loving kindness to them

and all of a sudden the leaders start

shaking his head and just walks away

that happens

have to remember to do this and the more

you can remember to be kind and giving

and helpful to other people the more

other people will be kind and giving and

helpful to you so what are you gonna do

when you get off retreat go back to the

way you were where you were suffering

we're not it is your choice you can do

it or not but it's more magical when you

do the positive stuff you start seeing

miracles start happening and this is a

promise if you continue on helping

smiling wishing other people happiness

you will see miracles you'll see people

go from being unhappy and sad to all of

us uh Denise miling now if that's not a

miracle I don't know what is and the

more you can do that the easier it

becomes the easier the meditation

becomes for you and the more other

people respond to you in a positive way

so this is what I've tried to show you

for the aula ten days that you're here

and there is a release from the

suffering it can happen to you at any

time when you keep your practice going

there is a suit that it talks about

people that don't keep their precepts

even after they have an experience of

Nibbana if you don't keep your precepts

and you stop practicing morality you can

lose your attainment you will over

indulge in your in your sense pleasures

you can lose your attainment if you over

indulge in it what you think and ponder

on that's the inclination of your mind

when the inclination of your mind wants

to indulge in all kinds of activities

that you know is going to pull your mind

away from being loving and kind and

mindful then you're gonna lose the

suffering will come back it works that

way until you get to the fruition so

keep your precepts don't break your

precepts for any reason

especially the fourth precept the fourth

precept is about speech don't tell lies

don't curse curse is a low person that

curses all the night don't try to divide

people with your speech don't do any

gossip it's important that you follow

that precept because it'll come back and

bite you if it doesn't if you if you

don't it will cause you all kinds of

problems and people will become less

likely to trust you if you break the

precept of speech so keeping the

precepts about not killing living beings

on purpose not taking anything that's

not given not having wrong sexual

activity wrong sexual activity means not

having sexual activity with somebody it

is too young or they have a mate okay

any other kind of sexual activity as

long as it's not forceful it doesn't

cause anybody else pain or suffering

that's your choice

we don't have to be celibate but I want

you to be celibate when you come and do

the retreat because it keeps your mind

more uplifted but when you go home I'm

going to give you five precepts the

third precept says no wrong sexual

activity eight precepts means no sexual

activity so for this period this is not

a time to indulge in sexual activity

when you go home it's your choice what

you do now the thing with the precepts

is there's nobody in heaven that's going

to throw down lightning bolts if you

break one of the precepts but you start

to have a mind that starts to feel

guilty because you know you shouldn't

have done that how food ism is not about

feeling guilty about things we leave

that for other religions so when you see

you've made a mistake forgive yourself

for making the mistake take the precepts

again and I recommend everybody take the

precepts we give every morning home and

recite them every morning not as a right

and ritual as a reminder to keep the

precepts without breaking them so if you

break a precept you say something that's

not true okay and stop you know you made

a mistake forgive yourself for making a

mistake

take the precepts again with the

determination not to do that again so

you don't keep doing the same thing over

and over again

and then continue on I've had people

talk to me about the precepts innings if

I okay you finally convinced me I'm

gonna have to keep the precepts how long

do I have to keep them and my answer is

well we'll start it a hundred years and

go up from there if you break a precept

you can look forward to having

hindrances arise not only in meditation

but in your daily life more hindrances

will arise life becomes much more

difficult and you start losing a lot of

happiness when you break the precepts

and it's your choice there's nobody

that's kind of sit over and judgment of

you whether you keep or not you know for

yourself whether you do that that's good

enough I've given you the key to taking

the precepts again with the

determination not to break them that's

the key try to do that for as long as

you possibly can then the next time you

come for a retreat the retreat will be

much easier because you won't have so

many hindrances knocking you out of your

different jhanas whatever it happens to

be

okay now did I answer all the questions

that you might have about what's going

to happen when you get off retreat or do

you have some questions everyday I lover

absolutely brilliant kindness meditation

and let it go

at its own speed to Karuna the joy when

they're meant to neither perception nor

non-perception it depends on you how can

i how can i tell you how long is good in

you don't choose it you just start with

loving-kindness and let it go by itself

you don't try to I want to do joy today

know do loving-kindness and progress as

it will to the deeper States okay

same you saw it happen

well then why do you think it's going to

happen different you saw the way it

happens automatically you saw how it

happened automatically that is the way

that the Buddha is teaching us to do it

yeah that's great there are times that I

start talking about karma and there's a

soup de in here that says what you have

to do to be intelligent and what happens

that makes you stupid

and quite often when I was in Asia there

was an awful lot of Chinese that would

practice with me and Chinese are taught

not to ask questions ever but they're

real ambitious and they want to do

things in the right way so I would tell

them this story about when I was with my

teacher

Lucille Ananda he was a Burmese ayodhya

very famous I must have asked ask him 20

to 25 questions a day for two years I

was away I wanted to find out everything

I could and finally I asked him a

question and he stopped and he looked at

me and he said when you're reborn as a

human being you're going to be the

smartest person in the whole world did

you want to know everything but when I

would tell the Chinese that you're gonna

be reborn stupid if you don't ask any

questions all of the sudden hands went

up

in the most comfortable posture you can

do you see a lot of people here sitting

in chairs you're sitting on the floor

you're a young man you haven't got the

bad knees or the bad back so much but

there are times when sitting in a chair

is appropriate in Asia what I would do

they all think that they're supposed to

sit on the floor but they've been

sitting in chairs their whole life so

sitting on the floor is painful but if

they want to continue sitting on the

floors I'd tell them okay sit on the

floor one time sit in a chair the next

time give your body a chance to get the

circulation going a lot of people that

are practicing meditation they tell you

to walk very slowly well if you're

walking very slowly you don't get the

blood circulation very much because when

you're sitting the blood starts to go

down into your legs and that can cause

pain in itself so I tell you when you're

doing your walking walk at a normal pace

or a normal fast pace so that you get

the circulation going and that helps

stretch out the muscles

but there's no magic and sitting on the

floor so sit in a chair sit in a floor

change it every now and then whatever is

most comfortable for you that's the best

way to do it and recognize that there is

a difference between real pain and

meditation pain real pain doesn't go

away so you get up and your your knee

hurt while you were sitting and you keep

limping because it really hurts

well don't sit that way again don't sit

in a way that's going to cause problems

for you change that so that you can sit

in a comfortable way without causing

harm to your body if it is meditation

pain that's the different story you want

to sit with that a little bit longer but

not so much that it causes a lot of pain

and frustration sit with it well six are

it and then get up start walking the

pain goes away get your circulation

going and then come back and sit I want

to say thank you for working so hard

that sure Samaritan

me suffering ones be suffering free and

the fear struck fearless be me the

grieving shed all grief and may all

beings find relief may all being shared

this merit that we've thus acquired for

the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness may beings inhabiting space

and earth Davis and Nagas a mighty power

share this merit of ours may they long

protect with Buddha's dispensation