From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ARnddmnek_E

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

it's a real interesting thing the first

day of the retreat because you're not

used to doing as much meditation so your

mind is gonna dull out a little bit and

play all kinds of numbers on you and

there's gonna be all kinds of

distractions not only sloth and torpor

but also restlessness and likes and

dislikes and wants and don't want and

all of these things are just your mind

rebelling against you your mind saying

no I want to do what I want to do

because I always do it and now you're

saying nah come on back let's not do

this but the first the first day of the

retreat is real important because that's

how you start building your mindfulness

okay every time you let go and you

practice the six R's you are developing

your mindfulness little by little

how awful lot of people really have the

idea that hindrances are something that

you want to stop and push him away but

hindrances are your teachers they're

showing you where your attachment is and

the hindrance is actually helping you to

develop your mindfulness so it doesn't

really matter how many times your mind

gets distracted the trick of the

meditation is to start to learn how to

watch what's happening with your mind

instead of just letting it float around

and do whatever it wants to do now you

get to watch it it's a real interesting

thing if you take it that way this is

part of the learning experience this is

part of the experience of being able to

practice the six R's all the time

now when I was in Indonesia there was a

few people that had been practicing one

pointed concentration a lot they were

doing the breathing meditation and they

were just focusing on the breath and

they had this nimita arise which is a

sign that arises in your mind it's kind

of a disk thing and they thought there

were real advanced meditators and they

were kind of attached to it so they

weren't really practicing the six hours

very much well I've practiced

loving-kindness before I even did a

loving-kindness retreat yes they did but

they were practicing one pointed

concentration so when they started

practicing with what I'm showing you

right now they would continually forget

to use the six arts and as a result

their practice their progress in the

practice was very poor it took them a

long time to get anywhere because they

weren't following the directions very

closely

so what's the difference between what

they were teaching and what I'm showing

you now it's one step that's all but

it's a major thing Adam could you get me

not the the black coat but the other one

I brought my brain with me today see I

brought my brain now it's real important

to realize that every time you have a

thought every time you have a feeling

arise that means that any sense door

every time a sensation arises this

membrane that's around your brain

contracts when you're practicing one

pointed concentration you don't notice

that contraction that contraction is how

you recognize craving so if you don't

see the craving and don't relax that

then you're bringing craving back to

your object of meditation and that just

takes you off on an entirely different

path and I know that there are some

people that they like to practice this

patina practice for a little while and

that kind of practice for a little while

and it's really you're not recommended

to switch your practices because your

mind gets confused and then you start

forgetting about that relax step and now

it's taking you off on a different kind

of path

it's not that one path is better than

the other it's just that they lead to

different places so what is your your

goal for the meditation is the goal for

the meditation learning how to let go of

craving and following the the Four Noble

Truths or not you do this practice for a

little while and then you switch over

and you say well I'm going to go do this

retreat and then you forget so you don't

you're not really starting to go deep

enough and recognizing the importance of

what I'm showing you and because of that

progress is very slow now anything that

distracts your mind distracts means

anything that takes your attention away

from your object of meditation is a

hindrance a lot of people they just kind

of go so what no big deal and just come

back to their object of meditation

without letting go of that relax down if

you don't let go of the relax step you

are bringing your craving back to your

object of meditation if you don't let go

of that craving there is no real

personality development

and it's real easy to get caught in old

habits and just kind of forget you say

oh it's not so much but if you are

serious about seeing what the Buddha

talks about he describes craving in a

lot of different ways

he describes craving when he's talking

about lust hatred and delusion lust I

like it

hatred I don't like it delusion that's

me that's mine that's who I am

so when he's talking about lust hatred

and and illusion he's talking about

craving directly and it's mentioned a

lot through the suit does this is a

major cause of suffering and if you

don't use the six R's a lot and use that

relax step you're gonna run up against a

wall in your practice

it's not a maybe this is a promise you

will run up against a wall so the more

you can get in the habit right now at

the start of the retreat of using that

relaxed step I'm not just forgetting it

the faster you will go deeper into your

practice hindrances are really a

necessary part of the practice that's

why it's in no satipatthana suta that's

the first part of Domino piscina talks

about the hindrances and they are a

necessary part of the practice because

that's where your attachments are so

when you harden your mind around

something what are you doing it's not

happening the way I want it to happen

what's actually happening in your mind

you have craving in your mind and that

leads to dissatisfaction which leads to

frustration which leads you further and

further away from being in the present

moment there's one particular suit that

there was a monk that memorized that

suta and every time he gave a Dhamma

talk he would just recite that suit

oh man I've already heard that I don't

care so you let your mind think this and

that and you don't pay attention and you

don't gain any benefit there was many

many monks that took that suit that to

heart and became our odds it's the most

powerful suit in the magic money kiyah

and it's amazing when your mind is

attentive oh I've heard that before I've

been on other retreats and I've heard it

a lot of times so you don't pay

attention to it and if you don't pay

attention to it you don't gain any

benefit from it so it's a real important

thing one of the things that the Buddha

always would are quite often would say

to the monks listen and attend closely

to what I shall say why because if you

listen to the Dhamma and you truly

understand it you can become a sotapanna

just listening to the Dhamma you start

thinking about this and thinking about

that and I wish you'd stop repeating

himself and saying the same thing over

and over again and you have all of these

thoughts and you completely miss the

whole point of the Dhamma so the more

attentive you are with listening the

clearer you understand and then after

the dhamma talk is over then you take

that with you to your sitting and it has

a definite effect on the way you

perceive things

but you have to be attentive you have to

listen very closely I don't care if

you've heard me give the same Dhamma

talk 25 times it doesn't matter I'll

keep giving you the same Dhamma talks

over and over again till you hear it

that's really the truth I had one range

retreat somebody loaned me a little

cassette player and I had one cassette a

Dhamma talk I listen to it every day and

it's like I heard something different

every day because my mind was in a

different place every day whose truly

remarkable experience to listen to

something over and over again and not

get tired of it because I was being

attentive with it and it was really a

remarkable thing so when you're

practicing and you don't use that

relaxed step and use it often that

starts taking you off the path

so what I really recommend for people is

just to do one meditation at a time

follow it to the end see where it leads

don't get bored and say well I want to

go do this I want to play with my mind

this way or that way because it causes

confusion when you start going deeper

and you start forgetting to use that

relax step which means you're forgetting

to let go of the craving which means it

starts taking you off of the path

another problem with not using that

relaxed step is that you go deep enough

and it starts suppressing the hindrances

it stops the hindrances from coming up

however my mind is so pure yeah while

you're sitting but what happens with the

rest of your life are you able to

recognize hindrances when they arise in

your daily activities

what do you do with them when they arise

are you able to remember to use the six

arts takes a lot of practice takes a lot

of effort to remember they use the six

R's when your mind starts getting tense

and time

the more you can remember during your

daily activities the easier it is to

remember while you're doing your city

the more you remember while you're doing

your sitting the easier it is to do it

with your daily activities it's all

interconnected and it's not something

just to do once in a while it's

something to do often we all get caught

with our emotional snits but do you

notice how much pain you caused yourself

when that happens and it's real

convenient to blame somebody else for

your pain but the truth is it's yours

you caused your own pain because you

haven't used the six R's you haven't

used right effort and the more you use

the right effort the more that habitual

tendency starts to come up see when

we're talking about habitual tendencies

we're talking about changing old bad

habits for new good habits so the more

we can remember to watch what our

attention is doing in the present moment

even when there is a distraction then we

can use the six R's and roll those hours

and just let that go

one of the things that you have to

really understand if you've done any

meditation before you have a tendency to

try real hard I mean I have I've been to

a lot of retreats I've done a lot of

meditation and when I do meditation I

get up and I see other people sitting

and I'm seeing really well when you have

a mind that's tense and tight and you're

pushing to make something happen in the

way you want it to your mindfulness is

almost non-existent the whole point of

this meditation is learning how to get

out of the way okay back off it's not

mine I didn't ask this stuff to come up

it's there by itself okay six all right

let it be there so it's a real important

skill that when you're doing your work

period the time that you remember to

keep your six r's going this is still

part of the meditation but I hate

sweeping I hate vacuuming I hate washing

the dishes who hates it

who doesn't like what they're doing in

the present moment who is causing

themself upset and dissatisfaction just

because of a little kind of activity

one of the things that happens when

you're practicing one-pointed kinds of

concentration is that noise is

troublesome I had a teacher that used to

say noise is like the thorn in the side

it's painful but with this practice

there is nothing like that when you get

one pointed and somebody comes up and

says something to you it'll boink you oh

geez don't do that what is that say it

says that your mindfulness is out of

balance with your concentration when

it's in balance that come up and talk to

you oh no problem you open up your eyes

okay fine let's go do whatever a lot of

people complain about noise the

meditation is supposed to be quiet

everybody

in the meditation Hall is supposed to be

quiet go to Burma and see how quiet it

is they have this cultural thing about

spitting and they don't just spit they

they don't care if you're sitting in

meditation or not

they have some some real skilled people

can belch like you can't believe and

they do that sort of thing

to entertain themselves because the

meditation is a little difficult and

well I'll just every step I take I'm in

a belch and I'm gonna belch loud and

this is real I mean this is what happens

I spent almost three years in Burma I

know I know what their meditation halls

are like this somebody comes up and they

just start chit-chatting right in front

of you while you're meditating and

they're not doing it in a quiet voice

they're doing it in regular voice so you

have to be able to just okay that's

what's happening right now let it be

what's your mind doing grabbing one why

don't they leave me alone there's too

much noise why don't they go talk

someplace else and you start making up

all of these stories about what they

should be doing instead of looking at

what you should be doing and what should

you be doing practicing your six arse

it doesn't matter a sound hits ear or

not it's just South Sea either a

pleasant sound or it's a painful sound

doesn't matter

same coin different sides treated in the

same way allow it to be relaxed into it

so that's just some sound

and it's the same with every one of the

sent stories although there is some

taste that I will back away from they

they have some stuff in Asia that's

really not very nice but they love it

and they eat it so okay that's that they

can do that I recognized it I'll put it

on the side so I still have some

attachment and I'll keep those thank you

they have the stuff called bitter gourd

and it's bitter I mean there's no way

you can fix bitter gourd without it

being bitter and bitter is not one of my

favorite tastes but to them it's great

so I give them my portion I want them to

be happy

the whole thing that you're trying to

learn is how to watch what happens in

the present moment without judging it

good or bad without liking it or

disliking it learning the use of 6r so

that you have balance in your mind

anytime you try to do something you are

there what do I mean by that I mean

there is attachment there there is

craving there it doesn't matter what

arises in your life everything that

happens to you is part of an impersonal

process every site have resound every

thought every feeling is impersonal it's

not yours but we always think it is

what happens is we can be sitting having

a absolutely beautiful meditation and

all of a sudden something happens and we

lose our mindfulness a little bit as

soon as that happens a hindrance arises

now you have to work with the hindrance

and the hindrance always has I'm that

attached to it and if you don't relax

that step and relax that tension and

tightness that's in your head in your

mind then you're not letting it go

you're not letting it be your

identifying with it you're taking it

personally anything you take personally

causes suffering that's the cause of

suffering everything changes because

everything is in a state of change

it's unsatisfactory it's just not so

nice but everything every thought every

feeling everything that happens to you

in your life is an impersonal process

if you don't use that relaxed step

you're not going to be able to see that

and you have to use that relaxed step

not just a little bit every time a

feeling arises right after that feeling

that tightness is there sometimes it's

really subtle but it's there and if you

don't let go of that tightness then you

have the clinging arise all of your

opinions and thoughts and ideas

I'm rights and he's wrongs you have all

of this stuff arise your habitual

tendency your emotions pull you and drag

you from one side to the other and they

caused immeasurable amounts of pain and

a lot of the birth of action is there

and that is suffering

you have to be able to recognize when

these things arise and it sounds like

I'm talking like well maybe I'll be able

to do that next retreat I can't do it

right now you can every time you let go

of a distraction and relax you are

sharpening your mindfulness your

observation power of how this actually

does work as you do that with the

hindrance the hindrance starts to get

weaker and weaker until it fades away

and then you get some candy now you can

be in that the state of a jhana I don't

care which jhana I can be in the state

of a jhana for a period of time and all

of a sudden your mindfulness slips for

whatever reason well a pain came up in

my back or my knee or my bottom or

whatever

and boy does it hurt I hate it when that

kind of pain arises you know there's two

kinds of pain there's the real pain

where you can have a bad knee or some

kind of problem and you sit in

meditation and it really starts to act

up and gets really painful and you get

up and you walk around and the pain

doesn't go away that's real pain don't

sit that way again

okay I I had 20 years of a Poisson

a'practice they told me that I was

supposed to put my attention right in

the middle of that pain you know what

happens when you do that it gets really

intense and because pain by nature

causes aversion there's this huge

tightness that happens in your head and

you ignore it because you're paying

attention to the pain now the other kind

of pain that can arise is meditation

pain and that can be just as intense

while you're sitting but when you get up

and start walking it goes away fairly

quickly ten or fifteen seconds it's like

you forgot that you had the pain now

that's the kind of pain that when it

arises you need to 6r and allow it to be

there pain by nature is repulsive your

mind wants to push it away your mind

doesn't like that sensation really hurts

but if you get that pain coming up after

sitting for a period of time and you

know that it's not a real pain that this

is a meditation pain that pain is

showing you where an attachment is and

you need to stay with that and six are

that and watch how your mind acts with

that always you're going to have some

thoughts about it more thoughts you have

about it the bigger it gets the more

painful it gets so you'd let go of the

thoughts and relax now you see that

tight mental fist around that pain

that's a real tight mental fist that's

the aversion I don't like that feeling I

don't want it there I want it to stop I

want it to go away but the truth is when

the pain arises it's there that's the

truth

you can't fight with the truth you can't

control the truth you can't change the

truth anytime you try to do that guess

what happens you suffer more

we've developed these habits over many

lifetimes of trying to control whatever

arises control in our mind controlling

the feelings

try to make them be the way we want them

to be and we are always identifying with

those this is me this is mine this is

Who I am

and the more you identify with it the

more that pain turns into an emergency

until you can't stand it anymore you've

got to do something with it and then you

get up and start moving and you go why

did I get up it's not there now

I shouldn't have done that I should have

stayed with that every time you give

into a pain that just means you've

delayed letting go of it if it's a

meditation paint

sometimes meditation pains are very

difficult to let go of because it's so

intense you want to keep your attention

on it you want to pay attention to it a

little bit okay it doesn't matter how

many times that sensation arises every

time you six are it and you come back to

your object to meditation even if it's

just for the blink of an eye before your

mind goes back to it it's not the same

pain it's a different pain every time

you relax you are experiencing the third

noble truth that is the cessation of

suffering cessation of craving

sometimes it doesn't last very long

that's true doesn't matter either the

pain is going to go away or it's not it

doesn't matter what happens with the

pain if it goes away fine then you'll be

able to sit for quite a bit longer and

not have any problems or if it doesn't

go away your mind gains equanimity to it

so strongly that you don't even get

distracted by that sensation anymore

the importance of using this relaxed

step can't be overstated you're gonna

hear me say it a lot

use the 6r smile well I got this pain I

can't smile into that why not it's only

a feeling and it's not even your feeling

you didn't ask it to come up you didn't

sit there and say I haven't had this

pain in my knee for a long time I think

it ought to come now right it comes

because conditions are right for it to

come why does it come because of past

actions what does that mean you broke a

precept in the past it might be a

precept five lifetimes ago that you

broke it but in the past you broke a

precept and it comes up into the present

moment what you do with what arises in

the present moment dictates what happens

in the future now here's where your free

choice comes in what are you gonna do

with that you're gonna fight with it

you're gonna try to ignore it you're

gonna get up and walk around so you

don't have it anymore or you can use the

six R's and let it be there by itself as

long as it won

to be there now it doesn't matter what

the cause of the pain is we don't have

to even consider trying to make up a

story about it like well you have a

death in the family you're gonna have

pain you love that person dearly now

they're gone okay it doesn't matter

whether it's physical pain or mental

pain you still have to learn to observe

that without trying to control it

without trying to make it different than

it is without trying to make it go away

the pain is gonna be there

for a period of time the problem that

happens especially with mental pain

highly emotional pain sadness whatever

it happens to be fear the problem is it

is we try to think that feeling away and

we try to control the feeling with our

thoughts and that makes the pain bigger

and more intense until you finally just

try to stop it stop it from coming up I

can't stand this anymore who can't stand

it who is trying to control their

feelings with their thoughts who is

reacting when this kind of pain comes up

I always act that way

and you react and you react because

you're taking it personally when you

practice the six ARS you stop reacting

and you start responding you respond

with openness you will respond with

allowing not trying to control letting

go of those thoughts that say I don't

like this and the way you do that is by

letting go of that tension and tightness

in your head in your mind oh but

somebody just died I can't smile into

that

okay don't smile into it but don't fight

it don't try to control that feeling

the truth is when pain is there it's

there it's not yours so you allow it to

be there without trying to do anything

with it well but I might cry so let the

tears come you don't control you don't

try to make something be different than

it is this is a tricky thing when

especially when there's death the death

of a family member or a good friend or

whatever a lot of people what they try

to do they they get real sad for a

period of time and then they say well

I'm gonna go do something else and

distract myself so they push away the

feeling for a little a little while but

it always comes back now if you don't

allow that feeling to be there if you

don't relax into that feeling and let go

of the want to control sometime in the

next couple of years after that death

you're gonna have some kind of major

physical problem that's what they're

finding out in hospice you have to learn

to allow the grief to be there what is

grief it can manifest in a lot of

different different ways it can be

sadness it can be anger it can be

frustration it doesn't matter what it is

what do you do with what that hindrance

when it arises what do you do with that

you know allow it to be there you don't

keep your attention on it you relax

bring up a light mind start sending

loving-kindness to yourself one of the

biggest problems when there's death in

the family is a feeling of helplessness

you don't know what to do you don't know

what to say to other people and this is

a problem and this is where you get

attachments so what do you do well you

practice your loving-kindness you know

other people around you or suffering

just as much as you are so you practice

compassion what is compassion compassion

is seeing another person in pain

allowing them to have their pain and

loving them without question

that's what compassion is so when you

start sending loving-kindness to

somebody that's hurting you are

practicing your compassion and you don't

have that feeling of helplessness you

remember a couple of years ago it's more

than a couple now but the the tsunami

that hit Sri Lanka and Thailand and all

those different places they started

talking on the internet everybody was so

sad and oh what a terrible thing they

were practicing pity and what that is is

I see your pain and I'm going to make

myself miserable trying to take your

pain away from you and that's what pity

really is

so chemic aim to me and she said there's

so many people that are so sad on the

internet what can we do I said tell them

to start sending loving and kind

thoughts to everybody in those islands

all of a sudden there wasn't the

helplessness anymore

you feel like you're doing something and

is positive that's what the Buddha's

teaching is about developing that

wholesome mind you have to develop it

towards yourself as well as to everybody

else around you so you got to let go of

the critical mind the mind that says I

really screwed that one up and punish

yourself for it you have to learn how to

lovingly accept yourself as well as

lovingly accept other people this

loving-kindness meditation teaches a

great deal of things it teaches you how

to have equanimity it teaches you how to

practice compassion it teaches you how

to have an uplifted mind all the time

and the more you smile the lighter your

mind becomes the less you want to

control a situation because when I want

to control it I causes tension and

tightness I

yeah and I get caught in my own

suffering and I don't even see what else

is happening around me I used to get a

kick out of the way back when when what

was his name the guy that started esthe

yeah and he used to tell people you

gotta get this pillow and you gotta beat

it and get that anger out and what are

you really doing you're adding your

anger to it you're making your anger

stronger you're not releasing the anger

and they would have some little bit of

relief but there was no personality

change from doing that sort of thing was

what's the current term these days oh I

have to vent but nobody has to vent you

have to practice the six hours

see there's no situation in your life

that doesn't get better when you start

using the six R's and relaxing that

tension and tightness and that

identification with whatever it is that

arises every time you use that relaxed

step right after that your mind is clear

your mind is alert your mind is bright

and there's no thoughts there's no

distractions your mind is pure why

because you don't have any craving in it

at that time and you bring that mind

back to the wholesome might bring up a

wholesome

that's why smiling is so important I had

some people in Indonesia that they'd

come and tell me that this practice

doesn't really work very well and I know

that that's not true it works very well

so what are you doing well I keep

releasing and relaxing and it I still

have this anger there well you're doing

half the practice friend you're only

doing a half you got to do the whole

practice for it to work you have to

release relaxed smile and come back to

something also even if that something

wholesome is keeping the smile going

there was a lady that she started

practicing with me she had a PhD and was

psychology and she was prone to panic

attacks and she came and she started

listening to a talk and she's sitting

right in the middle so she if she got up

everybody would see her get up and she

had to get people out of the way so she

could go someplace else with her panic

attack and she said always whenever I

had a panic attack it took three days to

overcome it

and I would go someplace and just hide

for three days until it just let go so

she said well if this monk is really

telling me the truth then it oughta work

now so she started using the six R's two

minutes was gone she couldn't believe it

now what is it about the Buddha's

teaching that people practice it for

years and years and years and years and

they don't see any real progress but

when the Buddha is talking about the

Dhamma he said one of the attributes of

the Dhamma is this is immediately

effective now why is there this

discrepancy why do you keep on doing the

same thing over and over again and

expect a different outcome there has to

be a change in there a little bit and

the change is that relaxed step the

change is learning how to recognize when

your mind starts to get distracted and

relaxed right then there's times you're

gonna forget okay as soon as you

remember start over again it's that

simple you can't criticize yourself

can't be hard on yourself why because I

am there

I am hard on myself I am causing my own

suffering

and most of the time you don't even

notice it

but when you start using the six hours

and all of the different activities of

the day and when you do your sitting

practice that's their alone time so you

can really watch a little bit more

closely when you do that a lot and turn

it into a habit you are going to have

personality change and that personality

change is going to start to do all kinds

of wonderful things in your life

that's why the Buddha talked about this

being of great benefit it's not just a

little bit this is major stuff you gain

more equanimity in your life you get

content

what does content mean happy your mind

just starts accepting things instead of

going on the emotional roller coasters

and then there's no need to vent

anything venting is just another way of

saying well I'm gonna keep this

emotional upset and use it later

the more you can remember to use the six

R's the faster and easier your progress

becomes for real just like that woman I

was just talking about two minutes

compared to three days it is effective

the trick is remembering to use it the

trick is getting into the habit of using

it all the time then any kind of

distraction that comes along you're able

to catch it much more quickly and let go

of the suffering much more easily

so hindrances there's five of them the

Buddha talked about he said there's

greed lust I want mine there's hate

aversion I don't want mine I'm sleepy

I'm dull I'm Restless I can't sit still

I don't know okay you have these five

hindrances I don't care which one it is

each one of them is a distraction

anything that pulls your attention away

from your object of meditation is a

distraction you treat all distractions

in the same way recognize release relax

re smile return repeat I don't care if

it comes up a thousand times and a

thousand times you have to use the six

hours that's good that's not bad a lot

of times people come to me and they say

oh this meditation is great yeah this is

really good okay so what's happening and

they'll tell me about their happiness or

the joy or whatever and I'm kind of

going okay and then you come to me and

you say

man this is so hard this meditation it's

really difficult great

you able the six are now you're working

now you're really practicing it's easy

when it's easy but when it's hard oh it

is hard but you don't try to control

anything you allow everything you just

don't keep your attention on it and you

relax into it the more you turn this

into a game and this sounds odd I know

it sounds odd nobody else that I know of

talks about playing a game in meditation

but if you start having fun with this

you're gonna get real efficient and

you're gonna get real good real quick

when you were in school you had a

favorite subject

you liked it you did well at it

why because it was fun your mind grasped

onto it this is great stuff so it wasn't

any effort to learn that do that with

the meditation don't push don't try too

hard

smile have fun with it there's this is

another sneaky way of my telling you to

have a mind that's light and accepting

what's the end goal be happy me bono

will happen whenever it's going to

happen your goal right now have fun have

fun with this open up relax have this

light mind that's alert that takes joy

and watching how this stuff works what

time is it you keep moving the clock

okay can we move the clock over here so

I can see it okay

so the more you can practice that relax

step and never forget the relaxed step

and even if you don't don't know whether

you need the relax step or not do it

anyway the more you do that the more you

experience the third noble truth there's

no suffering when your mind is clear

when your mind is bright when your mind

has no attachments in it when you're not

thinking but you're aware now you got

something

so this practice is all about learning

how to recognize and relax and you got a

smile I mean that's all there is to it

got a smile why because it helps your

mind to get light when you have a light

mind your mind is very alert I had a

student in Florida Florida no Australia

and he had been practicing mindfulness

of breathing for seven years and he had

been practicing one pointed

concentration and he could get into a

jhana he could get into bliss it was a

wonderful meditation while he was there

but when he got out of the meditation he

didn't notice any change and he said I'm

still the same person when I come out I

still get as angry as I always did I

still get upset just like I always did

can you help me with that so I said yeah

sure I wrote back to him and I said what

you gotta do is when you're doing

mindfulness of breathing which is what

he do is doing and he wanted to stay

with it so I said okay on the in-breath

you have to relax on the out-breath you

have to relax there's a distraction you

let it be you relax come back and smile

and stay with your breath again well

he'd developed the habit of staying with

his breath without the relaxing so he

would just go into the drama again and

after a few days of this I told him

doesn't seem to be working you're

forgetting it so what I'm gonna do is

I'm gonna have you do a different kind

of Mehta

station I'm gonna have you do

loving-kindness meditation and I gave

him the instructions in that and the

relaxing and he said my mind's running

all over the place I'm gonna go back to

the breath my mind stays still and then

no you don't do that oh it's too hard

I'm gonna go back to the breath no you

don't do that so after he complained

enough I said okay this is not working

so this is what I want you to do I don't

want you to meditate for one week I

don't want you to sit in meditation at

all all I want you to do is smile

all day all the time

and when you can't smile I want you to

laugh and I didn't hear from him for a

week and then he writes back to me on

the email and he said I took what she

said very seriously and this is what I

noticed when I started practicing

smiling when I was walking around always

before I was in this mental haze

thinking this thinking that not paying

attention to what I was doing and when I

started smiling my posture changed and I

started standing up a little bit

straighter and I didn't look down so

much and other people started smiling

back and they never smiled at me ever

and he said even when I didn't feel like

smiling I smiled and there was benefit

and actually people started coming up

and started talking to me just because I

was smiling

and then he said and now the doctors

don't make me take so much medicine and

I said doctors what what are we talking

about here and he said oh I'm in a

mental institute

my doctors have told me I'm gonna be

here for the rest of my life but since I

started smiling they noticed the change

in me and how I wasn't getting so

wrapped up in emotional things and just

going off the deep end

so they started cutting my medicine a

little bit and he was on our yahoo group

and somebody would write a question and

he would say I really I don't know the

answer but I know what happens for me

when I'm doing it and he would give them

what his answer for himself would be and

it was perfect I mean he had taught

himself an amazing amount of information

just because he smiled all the time and

one of the things I wrote back to him

and I said you've been practicing

meditation for a long time dev you

noticed any difference in your

mindfulness and he said I didn't even

know what mindfulness was until I

started smiling

and after six months he was doing so

well he went through a battery of

different doctors and they let him out

of them out of the mental institute now

he's living on his own just from smiling

it improves your mindfulness the more

you smile the more you have joy arise in

your mind when you have joy arise in

your mind your mind is alert your mind

is very agile it's your mind is very

clear so when you start to get attached

and start to heavy out a little bit you

catch it more quickly and you let go

more easily when you're practicing the

six arts

so you want your meditation to improve

you want to get better and feel more

happy all the time then you have to

smile all the time it's that simple and

it really does work and your mindfulness

does pick up and you're able to see more

and more subtle little changes that

start to happen in your mind and you can

let go of that

so the distractions become less okay

I've been talking for a long time do we

have any questions

Wow it's a mark

no questions at all so okay excellent

the only real difference between that

and this it is a kind of relax right is

that this is done more often and it's

more intentional relax

I saw this you can't give it if you

don't have it

well sometimes attention will come up

and you relax and it doesn't necessarily

go away that time okay but don't get

caught just doing part of the practice

you have to do the whole six are you

think so I don't care one of the things

that I didn't tell you last night was

that right before you go to sleep make a

determination to the exact second of

what time you're going to wake up okay

that's the first determination the

second determination is that when you

wake up you're going to be smiling okay

and then keep your practice going from

there

and instead of sending loving-kindness

to your friend take your friend put him

in your heart and just give them thank

the Buddha it's his you bet

I really appreciate him more and more

every year it's amazing

anybody else yeah oh wow

meditation

physically my body is responding to it

like so I was able to recognize release

and relax all day today no do you don't

just do that you release relax smile

come back yeah but you have to come back

to your object of meditation see that's

one of the things that the release relax

you can do that and you're not replacing

that unwholesome with awesome and that

you have to

just to continue it's just a continuum

from time and memorial we've been birth

death birth death birth death lots of

times and we've developed these habits

of observing how life is and we take it

all personally but that's not what's

actually happening see the thing with

this kind of meditation is you start

looking more and more deeply at how

these things arise

you're still in the present moment mind

is still there but it's not distracted

it's not distracted with that tension

and tightness that happens or thoughts

and all of this other stuff that just

keeps pulling us away from the present

moment and what we're doing in the

present moment we're used to living in

the past and in the future but not in

the present moment we're used to living

thinking this is me and this is mine but

it's all an impersonal process that that

happens because of past action and past

attachments past old habits

it will become more clear as we go

through the retreat patience

anything else okay that sure Samaritan

he's suffering ones be suffering free

and the fear struck fearless be may the

grieving shed all grief and may all

beings find relief may all being share

this merit that we've thus acquired for

the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness may beings inhabiting space

and earth Davis and Nagas of mighty

powers share this merit of ours may they

long protect the Buddhist dispensation

it's a real interesting thing the first

day of the retreat because you're not

used to doing as much meditation so your

mind is gonna dull out a little bit and

play all kinds of numbers on you and

there's gonna be all kinds of

distractions not only sloth and torpor

but also restlessness and likes and

dislikes and wants and don't want and

all of these things are just your mind

rebelling against you your mind saying

no I want to do what I want to do

because I always do it and now you're

saying nah come on back let's not do

this but the first the first day of the

retreat is real important because that's

how you start building your mindfulness

okay every time you let go and you

practice the six R's you are developing

your mindfulness little by little

how awful lot of people really have the

idea that hindrances are something that

you want to stop and push him away but

hindrances are your teachers they're

showing you where your attachment is and

the hindrance is actually helping you to

develop your mindfulness so it doesn't

really matter how many times your mind

gets distracted the trick of the

meditation is to start to learn how to

watch what's happening with your mind

instead of just letting it float around

and do whatever it wants to do now you

get to watch it it's a real interesting

thing if you take it that way this is

part of the learning experience this is

part of the experience of being able to

practice the six R's all the time

now when I was in Indonesia there was a

few people that had been practicing one

pointed concentration a lot they were

doing the breathing meditation and they

were just focusing on the breath and

they had this nimita arise which is a

sign that arises in your mind it's kind

of a disk thing and they thought there

were real advanced meditators and they

were kind of attached to it so they

weren't really practicing the six hours

very much well I've practiced

loving-kindness before I even did a

loving-kindness retreat yes they did but

they were practicing one pointed

concentration so when they started

practicing with what I'm showing you

right now they would continually forget

to use the six arts and as a result

their practice their progress in the

practice was very poor it took them a

long time to get anywhere because they

weren't following the directions very

closely

so what's the difference between what

they were teaching and what I'm showing

you now it's one step that's all but

it's a major thing Adam could you get me

not the the black coat but the other one

I brought my brain with me today see I

brought my brain now it's real important

to realize that every time you have a

thought every time you have a feeling

arise that means that any sense door

every time a sensation arises this

membrane that's around your brain

contracts when you're practicing one

pointed concentration you don't notice

that contraction that contraction is how

you recognize craving so if you don't

see the craving and don't relax that

then you're bringing craving back to

your object of meditation and that just

takes you off on an entirely different

path and I know that there are some

people that they like to practice this

patina practice for a little while and

that kind of practice for a little while

and it's really you're not recommended

to switch your practices because your

mind gets confused and then you start

forgetting about that relax step and now

it's taking you off on a different kind

of path

it's not that one path is better than

the other it's just that they lead to

different places so what is your your

goal for the meditation is the goal for

the meditation learning how to let go of

craving and following the the Four Noble

Truths or not you do this practice for a

little while and then you switch over

and you say well I'm going to go do this

retreat and then you forget so you don't

you're not really starting to go deep

enough and recognizing the importance of

what I'm showing you and because of that

progress is very slow now anything that

distracts your mind distracts means

anything that takes your attention away

from your object of meditation is a

hindrance a lot of people they just kind

of go so what no big deal and just come

back to their object of meditation

without letting go of that relax down if

you don't let go of the relax step you

are bringing your craving back to your

object of meditation if you don't let go

of that craving there is no real

personality development

and it's real easy to get caught in old

habits and just kind of forget you say

oh it's not so much but if you are

serious about seeing what the Buddha

talks about he describes craving in a

lot of different ways

he describes craving when he's talking

about lust hatred and delusion lust I

like it

hatred I don't like it delusion that's

me that's mine that's who I am

so when he's talking about lust hatred

and and illusion he's talking about

craving directly and it's mentioned a

lot through the suit does this is a

major cause of suffering and if you

don't use the six R's a lot and use that

relax step you're gonna run up against a

wall in your practice

it's not a maybe this is a promise you

will run up against a wall so the more

you can get in the habit right now at

the start of the retreat of using that

relaxed step I'm not just forgetting it

the faster you will go deeper into your

practice hindrances are really a

necessary part of the practice that's

why it's in no satipatthana suta that's

the first part of Domino piscina talks

about the hindrances and they are a

necessary part of the practice because

that's where your attachments are so

when you harden your mind around

something what are you doing it's not

happening the way I want it to happen

what's actually happening in your mind

you have craving in your mind and that

leads to dissatisfaction which leads to

frustration which leads you further and

further away from being in the present

moment there's one particular suit that

there was a monk that memorized that

suta and every time he gave a Dhamma

talk he would just recite that suit

oh man I've already heard that I don't

care so you let your mind think this and

that and you don't pay attention and you

don't gain any benefit there was many

many monks that took that suit that to

heart and became our odds it's the most

powerful suit in the magic money kiyah

and it's amazing when your mind is

attentive oh I've heard that before I've

been on other retreats and I've heard it

a lot of times so you don't pay

attention to it and if you don't pay

attention to it you don't gain any

benefit from it so it's a real important

thing one of the things that the Buddha

always would are quite often would say

to the monks listen and attend closely

to what I shall say why because if you

listen to the Dhamma and you truly

understand it you can become a sotapanna

just listening to the Dhamma you start

thinking about this and thinking about

that and I wish you'd stop repeating

himself and saying the same thing over

and over again and you have all of these

thoughts and you completely miss the

whole point of the Dhamma so the more

attentive you are with listening the

clearer you understand and then after

the dhamma talk is over then you take

that with you to your sitting and it has

a definite effect on the way you

perceive things

but you have to be attentive you have to

listen very closely I don't care if

you've heard me give the same Dhamma

talk 25 times it doesn't matter I'll

keep giving you the same Dhamma talks

over and over again till you hear it

that's really the truth I had one range

retreat somebody loaned me a little

cassette player and I had one cassette a

Dhamma talk I listen to it every day and

it's like I heard something different

every day because my mind was in a

different place every day whose truly

remarkable experience to listen to

something over and over again and not

get tired of it because I was being

attentive with it and it was really a

remarkable thing so when you're

practicing and you don't use that

relaxed step and use it often that

starts taking you off the path

so what I really recommend for people is

just to do one meditation at a time

follow it to the end see where it leads

don't get bored and say well I want to

go do this I want to play with my mind

this way or that way because it causes

confusion when you start going deeper

and you start forgetting to use that

relax step which means you're forgetting

to let go of the craving which means it

starts taking you off of the path

another problem with not using that

relaxed step is that you go deep enough

and it starts suppressing the hindrances

it stops the hindrances from coming up

however my mind is so pure yeah while

you're sitting but what happens with the

rest of your life are you able to

recognize hindrances when they arise in

your daily activities

what do you do with them when they arise

are you able to remember to use the six

arts takes a lot of practice takes a lot

of effort to remember they use the six

R's when your mind starts getting tense

and time

the more you can remember during your

daily activities the easier it is to

remember while you're doing your city

the more you remember while you're doing

your sitting the easier it is to do it

with your daily activities it's all

interconnected and it's not something

just to do once in a while it's

something to do often we all get caught

with our emotional snits but do you

notice how much pain you caused yourself

when that happens and it's real

convenient to blame somebody else for

your pain but the truth is it's yours

you caused your own pain because you

haven't used the six R's you haven't

used right effort and the more you use

the right effort the more that habitual

tendency starts to come up see when

we're talking about habitual tendencies

we're talking about changing old bad

habits for new good habits so the more

we can remember to watch what our

attention is doing in the present moment

even when there is a distraction then we

can use the six R's and roll those hours

and just let that go

one of the things that you have to

really understand if you've done any

meditation before you have a tendency to

try real hard I mean I have I've been to

a lot of retreats I've done a lot of

meditation and when I do meditation I

get up and I see other people sitting

and I'm seeing really well when you have

a mind that's tense and tight and you're

pushing to make something happen in the

way you want it to your mindfulness is

almost non-existent the whole point of

this meditation is learning how to get

out of the way okay back off it's not

mine I didn't ask this stuff to come up

it's there by itself okay six all right

let it be there so it's a real important

skill that when you're doing your work

period the time that you remember to

keep your six r's going this is still

part of the meditation but I hate

sweeping I hate vacuuming I hate washing

the dishes who hates it

who doesn't like what they're doing in

the present moment who is causing

themself upset and dissatisfaction just

because of a little kind of activity

one of the things that happens when

you're practicing one-pointed kinds of

concentration is that noise is

troublesome I had a teacher that used to

say noise is like the thorn in the side

it's painful but with this practice

there is nothing like that when you get

one pointed and somebody comes up and

says something to you it'll boink you oh

geez don't do that what is that say it

says that your mindfulness is out of

balance with your concentration when

it's in balance that come up and talk to

you oh no problem you open up your eyes

okay fine let's go do whatever a lot of

people complain about noise the

meditation is supposed to be quiet

everybody

in the meditation Hall is supposed to be

quiet go to Burma and see how quiet it

is they have this cultural thing about

spitting and they don't just spit they

they don't care if you're sitting in

meditation or not

they have some some real skilled people

can belch like you can't believe and

they do that sort of thing

to entertain themselves because the

meditation is a little difficult and

well I'll just every step I take I'm in

a belch and I'm gonna belch loud and

this is real I mean this is what happens

I spent almost three years in Burma I

know I know what their meditation halls

are like this somebody comes up and they

just start chit-chatting right in front

of you while you're meditating and

they're not doing it in a quiet voice

they're doing it in regular voice so you

have to be able to just okay that's

what's happening right now let it be

what's your mind doing grabbing one why

don't they leave me alone there's too

much noise why don't they go talk

someplace else and you start making up

all of these stories about what they

should be doing instead of looking at

what you should be doing and what should

you be doing practicing your six arse

it doesn't matter a sound hits ear or

not it's just South Sea either a

pleasant sound or it's a painful sound

doesn't matter

same coin different sides treated in the

same way allow it to be relaxed into it

so that's just some sound

and it's the same with every one of the

sent stories although there is some

taste that I will back away from they

they have some stuff in Asia that's

really not very nice but they love it

and they eat it so okay that's that they

can do that I recognized it I'll put it

on the side so I still have some

attachment and I'll keep those thank you

they have the stuff called bitter gourd

and it's bitter I mean there's no way

you can fix bitter gourd without it

being bitter and bitter is not one of my

favorite tastes but to them it's great

so I give them my portion I want them to

be happy

the whole thing that you're trying to

learn is how to watch what happens in

the present moment without judging it

good or bad without liking it or

disliking it learning the use of 6r so

that you have balance in your mind

anytime you try to do something you are

there what do I mean by that I mean

there is attachment there there is

craving there it doesn't matter what

arises in your life everything that

happens to you is part of an impersonal

process every site have resound every

thought every feeling is impersonal it's

not yours but we always think it is

what happens is we can be sitting having

a absolutely beautiful meditation and

all of a sudden something happens and we

lose our mindfulness a little bit as

soon as that happens a hindrance arises

now you have to work with the hindrance

and the hindrance always has I'm that

attached to it and if you don't relax

that step and relax that tension and

tightness that's in your head in your

mind then you're not letting it go

you're not letting it be your

identifying with it you're taking it

personally anything you take personally

causes suffering that's the cause of

suffering everything changes because

everything is in a state of change

it's unsatisfactory it's just not so

nice but everything every thought every

feeling everything that happens to you

in your life is an impersonal process

if you don't use that relaxed step

you're not going to be able to see that

and you have to use that relaxed step

not just a little bit every time a

feeling arises right after that feeling

that tightness is there sometimes it's

really subtle but it's there and if you

don't let go of that tightness then you

have the clinging arise all of your

opinions and thoughts and ideas

I'm rights and he's wrongs you have all

of this stuff arise your habitual

tendency your emotions pull you and drag

you from one side to the other and they

caused immeasurable amounts of pain and

a lot of the birth of action is there

and that is suffering

you have to be able to recognize when

these things arise and it sounds like

I'm talking like well maybe I'll be able

to do that next retreat I can't do it

right now you can every time you let go

of a distraction and relax you are

sharpening your mindfulness your

observation power of how this actually

does work as you do that with the

hindrance the hindrance starts to get

weaker and weaker until it fades away

and then you get some candy now you can

be in that the state of a jhana I don't

care which jhana I can be in the state

of a jhana for a period of time and all

of a sudden your mindfulness slips for

whatever reason well a pain came up in

my back or my knee or my bottom or

whatever

and boy does it hurt I hate it when that

kind of pain arises you know there's two

kinds of pain there's the real pain

where you can have a bad knee or some

kind of problem and you sit in

meditation and it really starts to act

up and gets really painful and you get

up and you walk around and the pain

doesn't go away that's real pain don't

sit that way again

okay I I had 20 years of a Poisson

a'practice they told me that I was

supposed to put my attention right in

the middle of that pain you know what

happens when you do that it gets really

intense and because pain by nature

causes aversion there's this huge

tightness that happens in your head and

you ignore it because you're paying

attention to the pain now the other kind

of pain that can arise is meditation

pain and that can be just as intense

while you're sitting but when you get up

and start walking it goes away fairly

quickly ten or fifteen seconds it's like

you forgot that you had the pain now

that's the kind of pain that when it

arises you need to 6r and allow it to be

there pain by nature is repulsive your

mind wants to push it away your mind

doesn't like that sensation really hurts

but if you get that pain coming up after

sitting for a period of time and you

know that it's not a real pain that this

is a meditation pain that pain is

showing you where an attachment is and

you need to stay with that and six are

that and watch how your mind acts with

that always you're going to have some

thoughts about it more thoughts you have

about it the bigger it gets the more

painful it gets so you'd let go of the

thoughts and relax now you see that

tight mental fist around that pain

that's a real tight mental fist that's

the aversion I don't like that feeling I

don't want it there I want it to stop I

want it to go away but the truth is when

the pain arises it's there that's the

truth

you can't fight with the truth you can't

control the truth you can't change the

truth anytime you try to do that guess

what happens you suffer more

we've developed these habits over many

lifetimes of trying to control whatever

arises control in our mind controlling

the feelings

try to make them be the way we want them

to be and we are always identifying with

those this is me this is mine this is

Who I am

and the more you identify with it the

more that pain turns into an emergency

until you can't stand it anymore you've

got to do something with it and then you

get up and start moving and you go why

did I get up it's not there now

I shouldn't have done that I should have

stayed with that every time you give

into a pain that just means you've

delayed letting go of it if it's a

meditation paint

sometimes meditation pains are very

difficult to let go of because it's so

intense you want to keep your attention

on it you want to pay attention to it a

little bit okay it doesn't matter how

many times that sensation arises every

time you six are it and you come back to

your object to meditation even if it's

just for the blink of an eye before your

mind goes back to it it's not the same

pain it's a different pain every time

you relax you are experiencing the third

noble truth that is the cessation of

suffering cessation of craving

sometimes it doesn't last very long

that's true doesn't matter either the

pain is going to go away or it's not it

doesn't matter what happens with the

pain if it goes away fine then you'll be

able to sit for quite a bit longer and

not have any problems or if it doesn't

go away your mind gains equanimity to it

so strongly that you don't even get

distracted by that sensation anymore

the importance of using this relaxed

step can't be overstated you're gonna

hear me say it a lot

use the 6r smile well I got this pain I

can't smile into that why not it's only

a feeling and it's not even your feeling

you didn't ask it to come up you didn't

sit there and say I haven't had this

pain in my knee for a long time I think

it ought to come now right it comes

because conditions are right for it to

come why does it come because of past

actions what does that mean you broke a

precept in the past it might be a

precept five lifetimes ago that you

broke it but in the past you broke a

precept and it comes up into the present

moment what you do with what arises in

the present moment dictates what happens

in the future now here's where your free

choice comes in what are you gonna do

with that you're gonna fight with it

you're gonna try to ignore it you're

gonna get up and walk around so you

don't have it anymore or you can use the

six R's and let it be there by itself as

long as it won

to be there now it doesn't matter what

the cause of the pain is we don't have

to even consider trying to make up a

story about it like well you have a

death in the family you're gonna have

pain you love that person dearly now

they're gone okay it doesn't matter

whether it's physical pain or mental

pain you still have to learn to observe

that without trying to control it

without trying to make it different than

it is without trying to make it go away

the pain is gonna be there

for a period of time the problem that

happens especially with mental pain

highly emotional pain sadness whatever

it happens to be fear the problem is it

is we try to think that feeling away and

we try to control the feeling with our

thoughts and that makes the pain bigger

and more intense until you finally just

try to stop it stop it from coming up I

can't stand this anymore who can't stand

it who is trying to control their

feelings with their thoughts who is

reacting when this kind of pain comes up

I always act that way

and you react and you react because

you're taking it personally when you

practice the six ARS you stop reacting

and you start responding you respond

with openness you will respond with

allowing not trying to control letting

go of those thoughts that say I don't

like this and the way you do that is by

letting go of that tension and tightness

in your head in your mind oh but

somebody just died I can't smile into

that

okay don't smile into it but don't fight

it don't try to control that feeling

the truth is when pain is there it's

there it's not yours so you allow it to

be there without trying to do anything

with it well but I might cry so let the

tears come you don't control you don't

try to make something be different than

it is this is a tricky thing when

especially when there's death the death

of a family member or a good friend or

whatever a lot of people what they try

to do they they get real sad for a

period of time and then they say well

I'm gonna go do something else and

distract myself so they push away the

feeling for a little a little while but

it always comes back now if you don't

allow that feeling to be there if you

don't relax into that feeling and let go

of the want to control sometime in the

next couple of years after that death

you're gonna have some kind of major

physical problem that's what they're

finding out in hospice you have to learn

to allow the grief to be there what is

grief it can manifest in a lot of

different different ways it can be

sadness it can be anger it can be

frustration it doesn't matter what it is

what do you do with what that hindrance

when it arises what do you do with that

you know allow it to be there you don't

keep your attention on it you relax

bring up a light mind start sending

loving-kindness to yourself one of the

biggest problems when there's death in

the family is a feeling of helplessness

you don't know what to do you don't know

what to say to other people and this is

a problem and this is where you get

attachments so what do you do well you

practice your loving-kindness you know

other people around you or suffering

just as much as you are so you practice

compassion what is compassion compassion

is seeing another person in pain

allowing them to have their pain and

loving them without question

that's what compassion is so when you

start sending loving-kindness to

somebody that's hurting you are

practicing your compassion and you don't

have that feeling of helplessness you

remember a couple of years ago it's more

than a couple now but the the tsunami

that hit Sri Lanka and Thailand and all

those different places they started

talking on the internet everybody was so

sad and oh what a terrible thing they

were practicing pity and what that is is

I see your pain and I'm going to make

myself miserable trying to take your

pain away from you and that's what pity

really is

so chemic aim to me and she said there's

so many people that are so sad on the

internet what can we do I said tell them

to start sending loving and kind

thoughts to everybody in those islands

all of a sudden there wasn't the

helplessness anymore

you feel like you're doing something and

is positive that's what the Buddha's

teaching is about developing that

wholesome mind you have to develop it

towards yourself as well as to everybody

else around you so you got to let go of

the critical mind the mind that says I

really screwed that one up and punish

yourself for it you have to learn how to

lovingly accept yourself as well as

lovingly accept other people this

loving-kindness meditation teaches a

great deal of things it teaches you how

to have equanimity it teaches you how to

practice compassion it teaches you how

to have an uplifted mind all the time

and the more you smile the lighter your

mind becomes the less you want to

control a situation because when I want

to control it I causes tension and

tightness I

yeah and I get caught in my own

suffering and I don't even see what else

is happening around me I used to get a

kick out of the way back when when what

was his name the guy that started esthe

yeah and he used to tell people you

gotta get this pillow and you gotta beat

it and get that anger out and what are

you really doing you're adding your

anger to it you're making your anger

stronger you're not releasing the anger

and they would have some little bit of

relief but there was no personality

change from doing that sort of thing was

what's the current term these days oh I

have to vent but nobody has to vent you

have to practice the six hours

see there's no situation in your life

that doesn't get better when you start

using the six R's and relaxing that

tension and tightness and that

identification with whatever it is that

arises every time you use that relaxed

step right after that your mind is clear

your mind is alert your mind is bright

and there's no thoughts there's no

distractions your mind is pure why

because you don't have any craving in it

at that time and you bring that mind

back to the wholesome might bring up a

wholesome

that's why smiling is so important I had

some people in Indonesia that they'd

come and tell me that this practice

doesn't really work very well and I know

that that's not true it works very well

so what are you doing well I keep

releasing and relaxing and it I still

have this anger there well you're doing

half the practice friend you're only

doing a half you got to do the whole

practice for it to work you have to

release relaxed smile and come back to

something also even if that something

wholesome is keeping the smile going

there was a lady that she started

practicing with me she had a PhD and was

psychology and she was prone to panic

attacks and she came and she started

listening to a talk and she's sitting

right in the middle so she if she got up

everybody would see her get up and she

had to get people out of the way so she

could go someplace else with her panic

attack and she said always whenever I

had a panic attack it took three days to

overcome it

and I would go someplace and just hide

for three days until it just let go so

she said well if this monk is really

telling me the truth then it oughta work

now so she started using the six R's two

minutes was gone she couldn't believe it

now what is it about the Buddha's

teaching that people practice it for

years and years and years and years and

they don't see any real progress but

when the Buddha is talking about the

Dhamma he said one of the attributes of

the Dhamma is this is immediately

effective now why is there this

discrepancy why do you keep on doing the

same thing over and over again and

expect a different outcome there has to

be a change in there a little bit and

the change is that relaxed step the

change is learning how to recognize when

your mind starts to get distracted and

relaxed right then there's times you're

gonna forget okay as soon as you

remember start over again it's that

simple you can't criticize yourself

can't be hard on yourself why because I

am there

I am hard on myself I am causing my own

suffering

and most of the time you don't even

notice it

but when you start using the six hours

and all of the different activities of

the day and when you do your sitting

practice that's their alone time so you

can really watch a little bit more

closely when you do that a lot and turn

it into a habit you are going to have

personality change and that personality

change is going to start to do all kinds

of wonderful things in your life

that's why the Buddha talked about this

being of great benefit it's not just a

little bit this is major stuff you gain

more equanimity in your life you get

content

what does content mean happy your mind

just starts accepting things instead of

going on the emotional roller coasters

and then there's no need to vent

anything venting is just another way of

saying well I'm gonna keep this

emotional upset and use it later

the more you can remember to use the six

R's the faster and easier your progress

becomes for real just like that woman I

was just talking about two minutes

compared to three days it is effective

the trick is remembering to use it the

trick is getting into the habit of using

it all the time then any kind of

distraction that comes along you're able

to catch it much more quickly and let go

of the suffering much more easily

so hindrances there's five of them the

Buddha talked about he said there's

greed lust I want mine there's hate

aversion I don't want mine I'm sleepy

I'm dull I'm Restless I can't sit still

I don't know okay you have these five

hindrances I don't care which one it is

each one of them is a distraction

anything that pulls your attention away

from your object of meditation is a

distraction you treat all distractions

in the same way recognize release relax

re smile return repeat I don't care if

it comes up a thousand times and a

thousand times you have to use the six

hours that's good that's not bad a lot

of times people come to me and they say

oh this meditation is great yeah this is

really good okay so what's happening and

they'll tell me about their happiness or

the joy or whatever and I'm kind of

going okay and then you come to me and

you say

man this is so hard this meditation it's

really difficult great

you able the six are now you're working

now you're really practicing it's easy

when it's easy but when it's hard oh it

is hard but you don't try to control

anything you allow everything you just

don't keep your attention on it and you

relax into it the more you turn this

into a game and this sounds odd I know

it sounds odd nobody else that I know of

talks about playing a game in meditation

but if you start having fun with this

you're gonna get real efficient and

you're gonna get real good real quick

when you were in school you had a

favorite subject

you liked it you did well at it

why because it was fun your mind grasped

onto it this is great stuff so it wasn't

any effort to learn that do that with

the meditation don't push don't try too

hard

smile have fun with it there's this is

another sneaky way of my telling you to

have a mind that's light and accepting

what's the end goal be happy me bono

will happen whenever it's going to

happen your goal right now have fun have

fun with this open up relax have this

light mind that's alert that takes joy

and watching how this stuff works what

time is it you keep moving the clock

okay can we move the clock over here so

I can see it okay

so the more you can practice that relax

step and never forget the relaxed step

and even if you don't don't know whether

you need the relax step or not do it

anyway the more you do that the more you

experience the third noble truth there's

no suffering when your mind is clear

when your mind is bright when your mind

has no attachments in it when you're not

thinking but you're aware now you got

something

so this practice is all about learning

how to recognize and relax and you got a

smile I mean that's all there is to it

got a smile why because it helps your

mind to get light when you have a light

mind your mind is very alert I had a

student in Florida Florida no Australia

and he had been practicing mindfulness

of breathing for seven years and he had

been practicing one pointed

concentration and he could get into a

jhana he could get into bliss it was a

wonderful meditation while he was there

but when he got out of the meditation he

didn't notice any change and he said I'm

still the same person when I come out I

still get as angry as I always did I

still get upset just like I always did

can you help me with that so I said yeah

sure I wrote back to him and I said what

you gotta do is when you're doing

mindfulness of breathing which is what

he do is doing and he wanted to stay

with it so I said okay on the in-breath

you have to relax on the out-breath you

have to relax there's a distraction you

let it be you relax come back and smile

and stay with your breath again well

he'd developed the habit of staying with

his breath without the relaxing so he

would just go into the drama again and

after a few days of this I told him

doesn't seem to be working you're

forgetting it so what I'm gonna do is

I'm gonna have you do a different kind

of Mehta

station I'm gonna have you do

loving-kindness meditation and I gave

him the instructions in that and the

relaxing and he said my mind's running

all over the place I'm gonna go back to

the breath my mind stays still and then

no you don't do that oh it's too hard

I'm gonna go back to the breath no you

don't do that so after he complained

enough I said okay this is not working

so this is what I want you to do I don't

want you to meditate for one week I

don't want you to sit in meditation at

all all I want you to do is smile

all day all the time

and when you can't smile I want you to

laugh and I didn't hear from him for a

week and then he writes back to me on

the email and he said I took what she

said very seriously and this is what I

noticed when I started practicing

smiling when I was walking around always

before I was in this mental haze

thinking this thinking that not paying

attention to what I was doing and when I

started smiling my posture changed and I

started standing up a little bit

straighter and I didn't look down so

much and other people started smiling

back and they never smiled at me ever

and he said even when I didn't feel like

smiling I smiled and there was benefit

and actually people started coming up

and started talking to me just because I

was smiling

and then he said and now the doctors

don't make me take so much medicine and

I said doctors what what are we talking

about here and he said oh I'm in a

mental institute

my doctors have told me I'm gonna be

here for the rest of my life but since I

started smiling they noticed the change

in me and how I wasn't getting so

wrapped up in emotional things and just

going off the deep end

so they started cutting my medicine a

little bit and he was on our yahoo group

and somebody would write a question and

he would say I really I don't know the

answer but I know what happens for me

when I'm doing it and he would give them

what his answer for himself would be and

it was perfect I mean he had taught

himself an amazing amount of information

just because he smiled all the time and

one of the things I wrote back to him

and I said you've been practicing

meditation for a long time dev you

noticed any difference in your

mindfulness and he said I didn't even

know what mindfulness was until I

started smiling

and after six months he was doing so

well he went through a battery of

different doctors and they let him out

of them out of the mental institute now

he's living on his own just from smiling

it improves your mindfulness the more

you smile the more you have joy arise in

your mind when you have joy arise in

your mind your mind is alert your mind

is very agile it's your mind is very

clear so when you start to get attached

and start to heavy out a little bit you

catch it more quickly and you let go

more easily when you're practicing the

six arts

so you want your meditation to improve

you want to get better and feel more

happy all the time then you have to

smile all the time it's that simple and

it really does work and your mindfulness

does pick up and you're able to see more

and more subtle little changes that

start to happen in your mind and you can

let go of that

so the distractions become less okay

I've been talking for a long time do we

have any questions

Wow it's a mark

no questions at all so okay excellent

the only real difference between that

and this it is a kind of relax right is

that this is done more often and it's

more intentional relax

I saw this you can't give it if you

don't have it

well sometimes attention will come up

and you relax and it doesn't necessarily

go away that time okay but don't get

caught just doing part of the practice

you have to do the whole six are you

think so I don't care one of the things

that I didn't tell you last night was

that right before you go to sleep make a

determination to the exact second of

what time you're going to wake up okay

that's the first determination the

second determination is that when you

wake up you're going to be smiling okay

and then keep your practice going from

there

and instead of sending loving-kindness

to your friend take your friend put him

in your heart and just give them thank

the Buddha it's his you bet

I really appreciate him more and more

every year it's amazing

anybody else yeah oh wow

meditation

physically my body is responding to it

like so I was able to recognize release

and relax all day today no do you don't

just do that you release relax smile

come back yeah but you have to come back

to your object of meditation see that's

one of the things that the release relax

you can do that and you're not replacing

that unwholesome with awesome and that

you have to

just to continue it's just a continuum

from time and memorial we've been birth

death birth death birth death lots of

times and we've developed these habits

of observing how life is and we take it

all personally but that's not what's

actually happening see the thing with

this kind of meditation is you start

looking more and more deeply at how

these things arise

you're still in the present moment mind

is still there but it's not distracted

it's not distracted with that tension

and tightness that happens or thoughts

and all of this other stuff that just

keeps pulling us away from the present

moment and what we're doing in the

present moment we're used to living in

the past and in the future but not in

the present moment we're used to living

thinking this is me and this is mine but

it's all an impersonal process that that

happens because of past action and past

attachments past old habits

it will become more clear as we go

through the retreat patience

anything else okay that sure Samaritan

he's suffering ones be suffering free

and the fear struck fearless be may the

grieving shed all grief and may all

beings find relief may all being share

this merit that we've thus acquired for

the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness may beings inhabiting space

and earth Davis and Nagas of mighty

powers share this merit of ours may they

long protect the Buddhist dispensation