From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=N0mEwdpEsuk

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

so have you already been granted okay so

you have an idea of what we're gonna be

doing here I would like you to cut down

you're talking and only talk about

Dominic

okay the retreat is going to be a

loving-kindness retreat and what that

really entails is learning how to smile

all the time there's a real interesting

thing that happens when the corners of

your mouth go down so does your mental

state when the corners of your mouth go

up so does your mental state I don't

care whether you don't feel like smiling

I want you to smile anyway okay it's

important because it helps bring your

mind up and it will help joy arise and

when you have joy in your mind your mind

is very clear your mind is very alert

and it's very easy to see when your mind

starts to get pulled down so smiling is

a real important aspect of this practice

when you practice loving-kindness

meditation you first start by sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself

remember a time when you were happy when

you held a little baby in your arms with

me held

little animal in your hands and that

feeling that you get from that is a nice

warm glowing feeling in the center of

your chest as soon as that feeling

arises then you make a wish for your own

happiness may I be happy may my mind be

peaceful and calm my mind be filled with

joy any kind of wish that you make for

yourself you need to feel that which you

know what it feels like to be happy you

know what it feels like to be peaceful

and calm bring that feeling up and put

that feeling right in the center of your

chest and in that glowing feeling and

stay with that as long as you can

now your mind is going to wander and

it's okay we're not trying to shut our

mind down and stop it from thinking but

as soon as you notice that you're not on

the feeling of loving kindness and

feeling that wish then recognize that

your mind has become distracted let go

of that distraction the way you let it

go is that you don't continue thinking

those thoughts you just let those

thoughts go

don't keep your attention on next relax

the tension and tightness in your head

now your mind or your head it's made up

of two lobes like this and there's a

membrane that goes around each lobe it's

called the meninges every time you have

a thought every time you have a

sensation arise every time you have a

feeling arise that membrane tightens

okay now what you want to do is be able

to recognize that and relax it and when

you relax you'll feel kind of expansion

feeling in your head because that

pressure is taken off this is

a very important aspect of this training

what that tightness is is preety that's

how you can recognize what craving and

it is it always manifests as tension and

tightness in your mind and in your body

around your brain so you want to relax

that and when you do that you'll notice

right after that you don't have any

thoughts in your mind your mind is very

bright your mind is very alert your mind

is pure because it doesn't have any

craving in it at that time then you need

to bring up a wholesome thing that's why

we want you to smile and then come back

to your object of meditation your object

of meditation is the feeling of loving

kindness and make a wish for your own

happiness and then stay with that as

long as you can it doesn't matter how

many times your mind gets distracted

okay you can have your mind running all

over the place as soon as you notice it

let it go let go of it don't continue

thinking that thought relax

smile come back to your object of

meditation if your mind wanders fifty

times in this sitting and fifty times

you notice your mind is wandering you

let it go you relax smile and then come

back that is a good meditation so the

whole thing comes down to not judging

not condemning yourself because you

think you should be doing better than

you're doing it's just simply noticing

letting go relaxing smiling come back

and do it again every time you do this

you are practicing right effort

your mindfulness will get very sharp the

more times you notice that your mind is

distracted and you let go of that

distraction don't get caught in the

content of your thoughts your story

doesn't matter at all okay the whole

point of Buddhism is learning how Minds

attention works not why we don't care

about why this story came up we want to

know how Mayans attention moves from one

thing to another that's the definition

of mindfulness

how does mind attention move so the more

times your mind gets distracted and you

notice that and let it go and relax and

smile and come back the better your

meditation becomes eventually what's

going to happen is your mind will start

to stay on your object of meditation for

a longer period of time and the

distractions won't last for quite as

long when you first start off you can

get distracted for a minute or two

minutes or five minutes whatever it

doesn't matter as soon as you recognize

that your mind is not with the

meditation

don't criticize yourself don't condemn

yourself just go oh okay now you use the

six RS again this is a game of do it

again okay it doesn't matter how many

times you're mine

it's distracted it's fine understand

that every time you have a distraction

that's helping you to improve your

mindfulness so the whole point is

learning how to recognize Minds

attention moving from one thing to

another how that's the Buddha's question

how does this work how does it happen

and you'll get more instruction in that

as time goes by with the Dhamma talks so

it doesn't matter how many times your

mind gets distracted what matters is

that you recognize it release it relax

read smile and return to your object of

meditation and repeat that as often as

it needs to be done

so for the first 10 minutes of every

sitting he's been sending loving and

kind thoughts to yourself after 10

minutes then you start to send loving

and kind thoughts to a spiritual friend

a spiritual friend is someone of the

same sex and they are alive a spiritual

friend is someone that when you think of

them and their good qualities you really

respect them you'd like them you really

honestly sincerely wish them well the

more sincere you are the easier the

meditation becomes the more interest you

take in wishing your friend well the

easier the meditation becomes

so you're sitting and you're wishing

yourself happiness made my mind be

peaceful and calm as I feel this

happiness I wish this for you

may you be peaceful and calm take your

spiritual friend put them right in the

middle of your heart that glowing

feeling with the wish and surround them

with that feeling give them a big heart

hug

while you're sitting please don't move

your body

don't rock don't ship back and forth

don't scratch don't rub don't change

your posture sit and you can move as

much as he does okay sit still now while

you're doing this there are going to be

some sensations that are going to rise

in your body feel an itch feel heat feel

vibration feel a pain don't move sit

very still and watch how Minds attention

goes to that the first thing you'll

notice when a pain arises is your mind

goes to that sensation let's say it's

your knee

the next thing you'll notice is your

mind is starting to think about it

I wish it would I wish it would go away

why does it have to interfere with my

meditation every thought about the pain

causes the pain to get bigger and more

intense so the first thing you do is

relax let go of the thoughts relax the

tightness in your mind and then you will

notice that there is a tight mental fist

wrapped around that sensation that tight

mental fist is a version you don't like

it there you don't want it there you

want it to be go away

but that aversion is there now the truth

of the present moment is

be ready for this one when pain arises

it's there okay that's a truth when it's

there it's there and it's okay for it to

be there it has to be okay because

that's the truth it's there so what you

do is let go of that tight mental fist

and let that sensation be there by

itself don't try to change it don't try

to control it don't try to make it be

something other than it is anytime you

do that you're fighting with the truth

anytime you fight with the truth you are

fighting and causing yourself suffering

it's that simple and you're causing that

suffering to yourself

I love

so your job is to allow the present

moment to be there without any control

just let it be there it's okay but don't

keep your attention on it now you've

recognized that your that your attention

is there you let it be there you relax

you smile you come back to your object a

minute whoops there it is again now let

go the thoughts relax let go of that

tight mental fist relax let it be

smile come back to your object amenity

it doesn't matter how many times your

mind gets distracted your mindfulness is

like putting coins in a piggy bank every

time your mind gets distracted you

notice it you come back to your object

of meditation it's like putting a coin

in the bank eventually that Bank gets

full but it doesn't happen right away so

the more times you can allow things to

be the way they are and relax into them

and smile and come back to your

spiritual friend the sharper your

mindfulness becomes you'll start to stay

with your spiritual friend for a longer

period of time the distraction when it

comes and they will there will be

distractions I promise the distraction

will start to be shorter

as your mindfulness improves again this

is a smiling meditation that means I

want you all to be smiling right now

okay keep that smile going how does your

mind feel when you're smiling oh it's in

that back so the more you can have that

kind of mind the faster your progress

becomes one of the reasons that I like

to teach this kind of meditation in

particular is because the Buddha said

that with this meditation your progress

is faster than it is with any other kind

of meditation I don't care what kind of

meditation you've done in the past

let it go don't mix and match because

that'll slow down your progress you have

to develop the beginner's mind you don't

know what's gonna happen next stop

projecting don't get caught in thinking

that you know what's gonna happen next

because you don't I mean this riff can

follow in right now who knows

let go of all your past experience with

meditation all this I felt this one

before I know what this is all about you

don't because this particular meditation

is different than anything else you've

ever done why because you're learning

how to let go of craving there's very

few of us in the world that teach

letting go of creep you will be able to

recognize it always as tension and

tightness in your head in your mind now

sometimes you get the feeling going real

good and everything is going along and

all of the sudden the feeling goes away

and then you start trying harder and

then you have some restlessness arise

and then you try harder and then the

restlessness really gets ahold of you

does this sound familiar

and what you have to do is instead of

trying harder to make your mind get back

to where it was we'll stop trying so

hard and learn to develop a sense of

humor about how crazy your mind is with

trying because it is welcome to the

human race we're all crazy and it's okay

to be crazy all we have to do is learn

from our mistake and the mistake is

trying to get this present moment to be

like that past moment what now if that's

not funny I don't know what if it really

sounds odd to hear this statement

meditation is supposed to be fun how

many times has anybody told you that it

is fun when you have a sense of fun

about your practice and how crazy your

mind can be that helps to balance your

mind so that you're not caught anymore

okay

now the thing that's real important is

that when you can laugh with yourself

about getting caught again that laughter

changes your perspective okay you go

from I don't like this I don't want it

to be this way

- it's only this that's what laughter

does

make this meditation fun enjoy there's

nothing wrong with enjoying I know I had

20 years of experience that everything

is suffering okay I know that game and

it's a dead-end street it doesn't work

if you're gonna dwell on suffering that

means that you're gonna suffer more okay

you want to do that to yourself that's

up to you but I kind of like having fun

more any time your mind gets serious

guess who has an attachment okay you get

serious about this person said that and

I don't like that and now you're all

caught up in taking every thought that

you have personally every time you take

something personally you are causing

yourself suffering you can't blame

somebody else because you're doing it to

yourself the whole point of the Buddha's

teaching is to recognize when you have

an attachment let go of the attachment

and relax

bring up something wholesome smile come

back to your object of meditation keep

that object of meditation going

that's right effort that's the six R's

are exactly the same right effort will

take you all the way to Nevada and you

can't get to Nirvana when you have

attachments sit no less than thirty

minutes when you're sitting is good

don't break it sit longer as long as

you're comfortable when it's time to

break you're sitting that doesn't mean

you stop your meditation

it just means you change your posture so

you stay with your spiritual friend

wishing them well and you get up and you

go outside and you do your walking

meditation walking meditation is walking

at a normal pace not a slow pace at a

normal pace just like you walk in your

daily life this is a trait for your

daily life

remember this stay with your spiritual

friend now when you're walking pick a

spot that's so thirty or forty or fifty

feet whatever you're comfortable with

and just walk back and forth okay

and stay with your spiritual friend as

much as you can remember the walking is

going to be somewhat difficult at first

because you're not used to that you're

used to walking around thinking about

this thinking about that getting caught

up and all that nonsense stuff and it's

hard to stay with your spiritual friend

but that's okay

as soon as you recognize that you're

thinking about something else you do the

same thing as you do in the city you let

it go you relax you smile you come back

to your spiritual bent it doesn't matter

how many times your mind gets distracted

when you're doing your walking it's best

not to be looking around because you

look around that's where your mind goes

and all of a sudden you're a thousand

miles away from here so just keep your

eyes down gently down not making a big

deal out of it and you'll notice that

you're able to stay with your spiritual

friend a little bit easier when you do

that that 10 or 12 feet in front of you

is fine now when you're doing your

sitting meditation and you're radiating

loving-kindness to your spiritual friend

you want to see your spiritual friend in

your mind's eye now for some people it's

very easy to visualize you can see their

face and you can see them doing all

kinds of things it doesn't matter for

other people visualization is very

difficult you can visualize with your

thoughts about them

okay you don't have to necessarily see

them in your mind's eye but you know

that they're happy you see them in your

mind as being happy

whether you visualize that happiness or

not doesn't really matter now you want

about 75% of your attention on this

feeling this radiating feeling from your

chest you want about 20% of your

attention on the making of the wish and

putting that wish that feeling of the

wish into your heart now a lot of people

and in about 5% of your attention on

visualizing so the visualizing isn't

that doesn't take that much attention

don't try real hard no the thing with

visualizing sometimes it's cloudy

sometimes it's fuzzy sometimes it's like

it's a long ways away that doesn't

matter

don't put your attention so much on

visualizing it's more this is a feeling

meditation so you want to feel that

radiating glowing feeling and that will

start to grow by itself and get

and bigger but you always take your

friend and put them in the middle of

your heart in your mind

see them smiling seeing them happy and

that can help remind you to smile

there's more to smiling than just

pasting something on your face

you want to smile with your mind

keep your mind light don't try have fun

that keeps your mind light you want to

smile with your eyes even when your eyes

are closed you'd be surprised how much

tension is in your face when you smile

with your eyes that all disappear a

little Buddha smile on your lips and a

smile in your heart so there's more to

smiling than just the corners of your

mouth

a lot of people will ask me is it

alright to change the wish yes

of course it is whatever you feel is

appropriate there are people that come

to me and they say oh I have this friend

that's really confused and going through

all kinds of problems can you radiate

some loving kindness to them okay I do

that and what I wish for them is a clear

uplifted mind you know what it feels

like to have a clear mind you know what

it feels like to have an uplifted mine

put that feeling in your heart put that

person right in the middle of that this

is important you have to feel the wish

you can't give something to somebody

else that you don't have yourself so you

feel that wish if it's for happiness or

joy cheerfulness accepting mind clear

mind it's all up to you stay with the

same wish for a little while but don't

make that wish over and over may you be

happy may you be happy may you be happy

may you be happy make the wish one time

feel that wish stay with that feeling

and radiate that feeling to your friend

then your mind gets distracted you use

the six hours do this whole process

again

so when you come back from your walking

don't walk any more any less than 15

minutes walking at a normal speed that

helps get the circulation going and that

will help you later on but you stay with

your spiritual friend one of the things

that will happen especially the first

day is you will start to get some sloth

and torpor sleepiness

how does sleepiness arise sleepiness

arises because you're with your

spiritual friend and then you start

thinking little tiny thoughts

they're just ho-hum thoughts they're not

much about anything and then they get a

little bit bigger and then you start to

get into a dreaming state and then your

posture starts to slow and before long

your head is bobbing and the mistake

that everybody makes is they notice

they're doing that they sit up really

straight and say I'm really not going to

do that again and then they do it again

okay the reason it sloth and torpor

comes up in the first place is because

you're not taking enough interest in the

feeling of loving kindness and sending

that to your spiritual friend you're

just kind of homing it so you need to

have more interest in what you're doing

while you're doing it that's the way you

develop your mindfulness

I'm not going to say if I'm going to say

when you get caught with sloth and

torpor then what you want to do is

you're supposed to sit with your back

nicely straight but when you get sloth

and torpor straighten it a little bit

more so it's almost uncomfortable and

then you'll have those little tiny

thoughts and get dreamy and your back

starts to slump you'll be able to

recognize it more easily and then you

can straighten your back up and come

back to your object of meditation we're

not and we're not worrying about the

content of the thoughts we're wanting to

see how that happens right the whole

point of meditation is your mind is on

your object of meditation and it goes

over here and thinks about this or that

how did that happen

not why did it happen we don't care

about why why is for kind psychologists

they can worry about that but how did

that happen your mind was here and now

it's there there's a process that you

have to be able to recognize what

happened first what happened after that

what happened after that what happened

after that the more you take an interest

in how your mind becomes distracted the

easier it will be to recognize this

process and catch it a little bit

quicker and relax and smile and come

back

this is very important how does this

work as you're able to recognize how

this works you start seeing how

attachment works and what is attachment

always attachment is I am that I am that

thought I am that feeling I am that

sensation this is me craving always

manifest has the I like it I don't like

it mind it happens automatically a

pleasant feeling arises oh I like that

one that's what your mind does a painful

feeling arises oh I don't like that one

it's the I like it I don't like it might

that's the thing that causes that

meninges that that membrane that goes

around your brain to contract a little

bit that's how you can recognize it so

the more you recognize the tension and

tightness and relax and smile and come

back to your object of meditation the

easier things become and the faster you

learn how your mind works you teach

yourself by your own experience I don't

teach you I could have suggestions you

can use it or not see if it works if it

doesn't don't use it your choice

one thing you don't want to do is

recognize when there's some kind of

painful thing and then you start

releasing relaxing releasing relaxing

and you come and complain to me this

doesn't work yeah it works you got to do

it right that's the problem

you don't just release and relax and

release and relax and expect that

painful thing to go away you release you

relax

Yury smile you come back to your object

of meditation every time that's your own

base always go home

don't stop fiddling around with release

relax and not go home because you're not

improving your mindfulness when you do

that you start putting in too much

energy and too much effort and you cause

yourself all kinds of problems these

instructions are very precise they are

very exact don't add anything don't

subtract anything this is the Buddhist

teaching it's not my teaching the Buddha

was one of the most magnificent beings

ever because he figured all this stuff

out all by himself it's amazing and the

reason that his teaching is still around

today is because it works that's the

truth

so have to let go of all your past

experiences with doing the meditation

you have to let go of your thinking that

maybe if I do this I'll be able to have

this other thing happen no you have to

let all that go it's simple just

practice the six RS just smile have fun

relax simple not easy because it depends

on your old habits as the old habits are

going to crop up once in a while but as

you start to recognize how these things

work and how you cause yourself

suffering then it starts to dawn on you

I don't need to do that what am I doing

that to myself don't need let it go

keep it simple don't add anything okay

now they talk to you about the schedule

and all of that sort of thing it is good

to be especially in the morning five

minutes early okay it is good because

we're not going to start doing the

morning service until everybody is here

so you don't want to be the last one in

okay keep warm especially in the

evenings you need to drink quite a bit

of water because in the daytime you

dehydrate you don't know it and that

will affect your meditation negatively

so make sure you have enough fluids

coming in when you're taking a shower

five minutes that's it don't use any

more water than that and actually turn

the water on

get your body wet turn the water off

soak down rinse a lot rinse it off get

out that's the way we have to do it

because water is very precious here

so I can't think of anything else right

off yes to send that money on to a

friend of the same sex no it will have

your mind will start to have left or

right and what happens is you get

infatuated with that person and you

start thinking about all kinds of things

about them and how we're gonna be when

you get off retreat and it drives you

crazy don't do that but wonder if you're

gay then I'll change the meditation to

another round again this is not for

everyone well if you're gay well then

don't want you to or one of the top is

no no it would be something else because

what happens is the other personal

response you may not turn right off on

the other party it can cause problems

it's loving-kindnesses not for every

kind of personality if you're gay then I

will give you the breathing meditation

because that doesn't matter and the

instructions are pretty much the same

so I need to know that when you come to

the first interview I did there's no I

don't care whether you are not doesn't

matter but for your spiritual progress I

need to know so that we can adjust so

that everything will work out very

nicely for you I thinking like a wife or

a child no not right now

you have to understand this is a

training period when you get to a

certain degree of skill then I will

change it and you can do your wife and

your kids and other things but there has

to be somebody clean entity in there now

I didn't I told you to not the person

has to be alive and they have to be the

same sex also not a member of your

family if you do it with a member of

your family a member of your family has

a tendency to do some things that you

don't like and guess what comes up in

your mind so if you pick somebody that's

a little bit further away than that

someone that you respect very much you

can pick a month you can pick a good

friend whatever it's up to you foreign

so is there any other question

tomorrow I will talk more about

hindrances and what you do with

hindrances when they arise but I want to

give you a chance to have your Sitz now

one of the things for 20 years I went

through this practice of you sit for an

hour and you walk for an hour and

everybody did it all together but you

sit for a half an hour and sit longer

when your meditation is good sometimes

an hour and a half sitting can seem like

it's five minutes

sometimes a half an hour sitting seems

like it's hours but you have to be able

to you start extending you're sitting as

you get used to the meditation you'll be

able to sit for longer sit for 45

minutes you sit for an hour

sit for an hour and a half sit for two

hours that's fine as long as you're not

pushing as long as you're not forcing

this is a natural unfolding this is the

way the Buddha wanted us to do the

practice so that naturally your mind

will develop and you will start to go

deeper through your understanding of how

this process works

so there's not going to be the

interviews tomorrow I want to give you

to get get a chance to do a little bit

of practice first and then after that

I'll see everybody every day

individually but if you run across some

kind of problem tomorrow come and tell

me okay

just understand that the first day of a

meditation retreat is by far the hardest

part of the whole retreat because your

mind is still out there and it's going

to have resistance to coming in so it's

going to put you through some kinds of

changes and that's why you're going to

be getting roughly eight hours of sleep

anyway right you go to bed at ten

o'clock

you get up at five o'clock hours you get

an hour after lunch that's eight hours

do you understand what a walk in the

park this

I mean when I was in Burma I went to bed

at eleven o'clock I got up at three

o'clock and then they told me I was

being lazy so I went to bed at twelve

o'clock

got up at two o'clock and I did that for

three months I don't recommend this

so you're gonna have plenty of rest so

please don't go to bed until 10 o'clock

okay and this is for you so you have

enough time to really do the practice

you'll see the advantages of this

anything else okay

my chairs man

the group is offering one who's

suffering three and the first area

speeds in the grieving [ __ ] I'll breathe

and may all beings and may all beings

share this merit that they justified for

the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness may beans inhabiting space and

her baby was and not as a mighty power

this matter of dollars and they love

protect the Buddhist dispensation

you

so have you already been granted okay so

you have an idea of what we're gonna be

doing here I would like you to cut down

you're talking and only talk about

Dominic

okay the retreat is going to be a

loving-kindness retreat and what that

really entails is learning how to smile

all the time there's a real interesting

thing that happens when the corners of

your mouth go down so does your mental

state when the corners of your mouth go

up so does your mental state I don't

care whether you don't feel like smiling

I want you to smile anyway okay it's

important because it helps bring your

mind up and it will help joy arise and

when you have joy in your mind your mind

is very clear your mind is very alert

and it's very easy to see when your mind

starts to get pulled down so smiling is

a real important aspect of this practice

when you practice loving-kindness

meditation you first start by sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself

remember a time when you were happy when

you held a little baby in your arms with

me held

little animal in your hands and that

feeling that you get from that is a nice

warm glowing feeling in the center of

your chest as soon as that feeling

arises then you make a wish for your own

happiness may I be happy may my mind be

peaceful and calm my mind be filled with

joy any kind of wish that you make for

yourself you need to feel that which you

know what it feels like to be happy you

know what it feels like to be peaceful

and calm bring that feeling up and put

that feeling right in the center of your

chest and in that glowing feeling and

stay with that as long as you can

now your mind is going to wander and

it's okay we're not trying to shut our

mind down and stop it from thinking but

as soon as you notice that you're not on

the feeling of loving kindness and

feeling that wish then recognize that

your mind has become distracted let go

of that distraction the way you let it

go is that you don't continue thinking

those thoughts you just let those

thoughts go

don't keep your attention on next relax

the tension and tightness in your head

now your mind or your head it's made up

of two lobes like this and there's a

membrane that goes around each lobe it's

called the meninges every time you have

a thought every time you have a

sensation arise every time you have a

feeling arise that membrane tightens

okay now what you want to do is be able

to recognize that and relax it and when

you relax you'll feel kind of expansion

feeling in your head because that

pressure is taken off this is

a very important aspect of this training

what that tightness is is preety that's

how you can recognize what craving and

it is it always manifests as tension and

tightness in your mind and in your body

around your brain so you want to relax

that and when you do that you'll notice

right after that you don't have any

thoughts in your mind your mind is very

bright your mind is very alert your mind

is pure because it doesn't have any

craving in it at that time then you need

to bring up a wholesome thing that's why

we want you to smile and then come back

to your object of meditation your object

of meditation is the feeling of loving

kindness and make a wish for your own

happiness and then stay with that as

long as you can it doesn't matter how

many times your mind gets distracted

okay you can have your mind running all

over the place as soon as you notice it

let it go let go of it don't continue

thinking that thought relax

smile come back to your object of

meditation if your mind wanders fifty

times in this sitting and fifty times

you notice your mind is wandering you

let it go you relax smile and then come

back that is a good meditation so the

whole thing comes down to not judging

not condemning yourself because you

think you should be doing better than

you're doing it's just simply noticing

letting go relaxing smiling come back

and do it again every time you do this

you are practicing right effort

your mindfulness will get very sharp the

more times you notice that your mind is

distracted and you let go of that

distraction don't get caught in the

content of your thoughts your story

doesn't matter at all okay the whole

point of Buddhism is learning how Minds

attention works not why we don't care

about why this story came up we want to

know how Mayans attention moves from one

thing to another that's the definition

of mindfulness

how does mind attention move so the more

times your mind gets distracted and you

notice that and let it go and relax and

smile and come back the better your

meditation becomes eventually what's

going to happen is your mind will start

to stay on your object of meditation for

a longer period of time and the

distractions won't last for quite as

long when you first start off you can

get distracted for a minute or two

minutes or five minutes whatever it

doesn't matter as soon as you recognize

that your mind is not with the

meditation

don't criticize yourself don't condemn

yourself just go oh okay now you use the

six RS again this is a game of do it

again okay it doesn't matter how many

times you're mine

it's distracted it's fine understand

that every time you have a distraction

that's helping you to improve your

mindfulness so the whole point is

learning how to recognize Minds

attention moving from one thing to

another how that's the Buddha's question

how does this work how does it happen

and you'll get more instruction in that

as time goes by with the Dhamma talks so

it doesn't matter how many times your

mind gets distracted what matters is

that you recognize it release it relax

read smile and return to your object of

meditation and repeat that as often as

it needs to be done

so for the first 10 minutes of every

sitting he's been sending loving and

kind thoughts to yourself after 10

minutes then you start to send loving

and kind thoughts to a spiritual friend

a spiritual friend is someone of the

same sex and they are alive a spiritual

friend is someone that when you think of

them and their good qualities you really

respect them you'd like them you really

honestly sincerely wish them well the

more sincere you are the easier the

meditation becomes the more interest you

take in wishing your friend well the

easier the meditation becomes

so you're sitting and you're wishing

yourself happiness made my mind be

peaceful and calm as I feel this

happiness I wish this for you

may you be peaceful and calm take your

spiritual friend put them right in the

middle of your heart that glowing

feeling with the wish and surround them

with that feeling give them a big heart

hug

while you're sitting please don't move

your body

don't rock don't ship back and forth

don't scratch don't rub don't change

your posture sit and you can move as

much as he does okay sit still now while

you're doing this there are going to be

some sensations that are going to rise

in your body feel an itch feel heat feel

vibration feel a pain don't move sit

very still and watch how Minds attention

goes to that the first thing you'll

notice when a pain arises is your mind

goes to that sensation let's say it's

your knee

the next thing you'll notice is your

mind is starting to think about it

I wish it would I wish it would go away

why does it have to interfere with my

meditation every thought about the pain

causes the pain to get bigger and more

intense so the first thing you do is

relax let go of the thoughts relax the

tightness in your mind and then you will

notice that there is a tight mental fist

wrapped around that sensation that tight

mental fist is a version you don't like

it there you don't want it there you

want it to be go away

but that aversion is there now the truth

of the present moment is

be ready for this one when pain arises

it's there okay that's a truth when it's

there it's there and it's okay for it to

be there it has to be okay because

that's the truth it's there so what you

do is let go of that tight mental fist

and let that sensation be there by

itself don't try to change it don't try

to control it don't try to make it be

something other than it is anytime you

do that you're fighting with the truth

anytime you fight with the truth you are

fighting and causing yourself suffering

it's that simple and you're causing that

suffering to yourself

I love

so your job is to allow the present

moment to be there without any control

just let it be there it's okay but don't

keep your attention on it now you've

recognized that your that your attention

is there you let it be there you relax

you smile you come back to your object a

minute whoops there it is again now let

go the thoughts relax let go of that

tight mental fist relax let it be

smile come back to your object amenity

it doesn't matter how many times your

mind gets distracted your mindfulness is

like putting coins in a piggy bank every

time your mind gets distracted you

notice it you come back to your object

of meditation it's like putting a coin

in the bank eventually that Bank gets

full but it doesn't happen right away so

the more times you can allow things to

be the way they are and relax into them

and smile and come back to your

spiritual friend the sharper your

mindfulness becomes you'll start to stay

with your spiritual friend for a longer

period of time the distraction when it

comes and they will there will be

distractions I promise the distraction

will start to be shorter

as your mindfulness improves again this

is a smiling meditation that means I

want you all to be smiling right now

okay keep that smile going how does your

mind feel when you're smiling oh it's in

that back so the more you can have that

kind of mind the faster your progress

becomes one of the reasons that I like

to teach this kind of meditation in

particular is because the Buddha said

that with this meditation your progress

is faster than it is with any other kind

of meditation I don't care what kind of

meditation you've done in the past

let it go don't mix and match because

that'll slow down your progress you have

to develop the beginner's mind you don't

know what's gonna happen next stop

projecting don't get caught in thinking

that you know what's gonna happen next

because you don't I mean this riff can

follow in right now who knows

let go of all your past experience with

meditation all this I felt this one

before I know what this is all about you

don't because this particular meditation

is different than anything else you've

ever done why because you're learning

how to let go of craving there's very

few of us in the world that teach

letting go of creep you will be able to

recognize it always as tension and

tightness in your head in your mind now

sometimes you get the feeling going real

good and everything is going along and

all of the sudden the feeling goes away

and then you start trying harder and

then you have some restlessness arise

and then you try harder and then the

restlessness really gets ahold of you

does this sound familiar

and what you have to do is instead of

trying harder to make your mind get back

to where it was we'll stop trying so

hard and learn to develop a sense of

humor about how crazy your mind is with

trying because it is welcome to the

human race we're all crazy and it's okay

to be crazy all we have to do is learn

from our mistake and the mistake is

trying to get this present moment to be

like that past moment what now if that's

not funny I don't know what if it really

sounds odd to hear this statement

meditation is supposed to be fun how

many times has anybody told you that it

is fun when you have a sense of fun

about your practice and how crazy your

mind can be that helps to balance your

mind so that you're not caught anymore

okay

now the thing that's real important is

that when you can laugh with yourself

about getting caught again that laughter

changes your perspective okay you go

from I don't like this I don't want it

to be this way

- it's only this that's what laughter

does

make this meditation fun enjoy there's

nothing wrong with enjoying I know I had

20 years of experience that everything

is suffering okay I know that game and

it's a dead-end street it doesn't work

if you're gonna dwell on suffering that

means that you're gonna suffer more okay

you want to do that to yourself that's

up to you but I kind of like having fun

more any time your mind gets serious

guess who has an attachment okay you get

serious about this person said that and

I don't like that and now you're all

caught up in taking every thought that

you have personally every time you take

something personally you are causing

yourself suffering you can't blame

somebody else because you're doing it to

yourself the whole point of the Buddha's

teaching is to recognize when you have

an attachment let go of the attachment

and relax

bring up something wholesome smile come

back to your object of meditation keep

that object of meditation going

that's right effort that's the six R's

are exactly the same right effort will

take you all the way to Nevada and you

can't get to Nirvana when you have

attachments sit no less than thirty

minutes when you're sitting is good

don't break it sit longer as long as

you're comfortable when it's time to

break you're sitting that doesn't mean

you stop your meditation

it just means you change your posture so

you stay with your spiritual friend

wishing them well and you get up and you

go outside and you do your walking

meditation walking meditation is walking

at a normal pace not a slow pace at a

normal pace just like you walk in your

daily life this is a trait for your

daily life

remember this stay with your spiritual

friend now when you're walking pick a

spot that's so thirty or forty or fifty

feet whatever you're comfortable with

and just walk back and forth okay

and stay with your spiritual friend as

much as you can remember the walking is

going to be somewhat difficult at first

because you're not used to that you're

used to walking around thinking about

this thinking about that getting caught

up and all that nonsense stuff and it's

hard to stay with your spiritual friend

but that's okay

as soon as you recognize that you're

thinking about something else you do the

same thing as you do in the city you let

it go you relax you smile you come back

to your spiritual bent it doesn't matter

how many times your mind gets distracted

when you're doing your walking it's best

not to be looking around because you

look around that's where your mind goes

and all of a sudden you're a thousand

miles away from here so just keep your

eyes down gently down not making a big

deal out of it and you'll notice that

you're able to stay with your spiritual

friend a little bit easier when you do

that that 10 or 12 feet in front of you

is fine now when you're doing your

sitting meditation and you're radiating

loving-kindness to your spiritual friend

you want to see your spiritual friend in

your mind's eye now for some people it's

very easy to visualize you can see their

face and you can see them doing all

kinds of things it doesn't matter for

other people visualization is very

difficult you can visualize with your

thoughts about them

okay you don't have to necessarily see

them in your mind's eye but you know

that they're happy you see them in your

mind as being happy

whether you visualize that happiness or

not doesn't really matter now you want

about 75% of your attention on this

feeling this radiating feeling from your

chest you want about 20% of your

attention on the making of the wish and

putting that wish that feeling of the

wish into your heart now a lot of people

and in about 5% of your attention on

visualizing so the visualizing isn't

that doesn't take that much attention

don't try real hard no the thing with

visualizing sometimes it's cloudy

sometimes it's fuzzy sometimes it's like

it's a long ways away that doesn't

matter

don't put your attention so much on

visualizing it's more this is a feeling

meditation so you want to feel that

radiating glowing feeling and that will

start to grow by itself and get

and bigger but you always take your

friend and put them in the middle of

your heart in your mind

see them smiling seeing them happy and

that can help remind you to smile

there's more to smiling than just

pasting something on your face

you want to smile with your mind

keep your mind light don't try have fun

that keeps your mind light you want to

smile with your eyes even when your eyes

are closed you'd be surprised how much

tension is in your face when you smile

with your eyes that all disappear a

little Buddha smile on your lips and a

smile in your heart so there's more to

smiling than just the corners of your

mouth

a lot of people will ask me is it

alright to change the wish yes

of course it is whatever you feel is

appropriate there are people that come

to me and they say oh I have this friend

that's really confused and going through

all kinds of problems can you radiate

some loving kindness to them okay I do

that and what I wish for them is a clear

uplifted mind you know what it feels

like to have a clear mind you know what

it feels like to have an uplifted mine

put that feeling in your heart put that

person right in the middle of that this

is important you have to feel the wish

you can't give something to somebody

else that you don't have yourself so you

feel that wish if it's for happiness or

joy cheerfulness accepting mind clear

mind it's all up to you stay with the

same wish for a little while but don't

make that wish over and over may you be

happy may you be happy may you be happy

may you be happy make the wish one time

feel that wish stay with that feeling

and radiate that feeling to your friend

then your mind gets distracted you use

the six hours do this whole process

again

so when you come back from your walking

don't walk any more any less than 15

minutes walking at a normal speed that

helps get the circulation going and that

will help you later on but you stay with

your spiritual friend one of the things

that will happen especially the first

day is you will start to get some sloth

and torpor sleepiness

how does sleepiness arise sleepiness

arises because you're with your

spiritual friend and then you start

thinking little tiny thoughts

they're just ho-hum thoughts they're not

much about anything and then they get a

little bit bigger and then you start to

get into a dreaming state and then your

posture starts to slow and before long

your head is bobbing and the mistake

that everybody makes is they notice

they're doing that they sit up really

straight and say I'm really not going to

do that again and then they do it again

okay the reason it sloth and torpor

comes up in the first place is because

you're not taking enough interest in the

feeling of loving kindness and sending

that to your spiritual friend you're

just kind of homing it so you need to

have more interest in what you're doing

while you're doing it that's the way you

develop your mindfulness

I'm not going to say if I'm going to say

when you get caught with sloth and

torpor then what you want to do is

you're supposed to sit with your back

nicely straight but when you get sloth

and torpor straighten it a little bit

more so it's almost uncomfortable and

then you'll have those little tiny

thoughts and get dreamy and your back

starts to slump you'll be able to

recognize it more easily and then you

can straighten your back up and come

back to your object of meditation we're

not and we're not worrying about the

content of the thoughts we're wanting to

see how that happens right the whole

point of meditation is your mind is on

your object of meditation and it goes

over here and thinks about this or that

how did that happen

not why did it happen we don't care

about why why is for kind psychologists

they can worry about that but how did

that happen your mind was here and now

it's there there's a process that you

have to be able to recognize what

happened first what happened after that

what happened after that what happened

after that the more you take an interest

in how your mind becomes distracted the

easier it will be to recognize this

process and catch it a little bit

quicker and relax and smile and come

back

this is very important how does this

work as you're able to recognize how

this works you start seeing how

attachment works and what is attachment

always attachment is I am that I am that

thought I am that feeling I am that

sensation this is me craving always

manifest has the I like it I don't like

it mind it happens automatically a

pleasant feeling arises oh I like that

one that's what your mind does a painful

feeling arises oh I don't like that one

it's the I like it I don't like it might

that's the thing that causes that

meninges that that membrane that goes

around your brain to contract a little

bit that's how you can recognize it so

the more you recognize the tension and

tightness and relax and smile and come

back to your object of meditation the

easier things become and the faster you

learn how your mind works you teach

yourself by your own experience I don't

teach you I could have suggestions you

can use it or not see if it works if it

doesn't don't use it your choice

one thing you don't want to do is

recognize when there's some kind of

painful thing and then you start

releasing relaxing releasing relaxing

and you come and complain to me this

doesn't work yeah it works you got to do

it right that's the problem

you don't just release and relax and

release and relax and expect that

painful thing to go away you release you

relax

Yury smile you come back to your object

of meditation every time that's your own

base always go home

don't stop fiddling around with release

relax and not go home because you're not

improving your mindfulness when you do

that you start putting in too much

energy and too much effort and you cause

yourself all kinds of problems these

instructions are very precise they are

very exact don't add anything don't

subtract anything this is the Buddhist

teaching it's not my teaching the Buddha

was one of the most magnificent beings

ever because he figured all this stuff

out all by himself it's amazing and the

reason that his teaching is still around

today is because it works that's the

truth

so have to let go of all your past

experiences with doing the meditation

you have to let go of your thinking that

maybe if I do this I'll be able to have

this other thing happen no you have to

let all that go it's simple just

practice the six RS just smile have fun

relax simple not easy because it depends

on your old habits as the old habits are

going to crop up once in a while but as

you start to recognize how these things

work and how you cause yourself

suffering then it starts to dawn on you

I don't need to do that what am I doing

that to myself don't need let it go

keep it simple don't add anything okay

now they talk to you about the schedule

and all of that sort of thing it is good

to be especially in the morning five

minutes early okay it is good because

we're not going to start doing the

morning service until everybody is here

so you don't want to be the last one in

okay keep warm especially in the

evenings you need to drink quite a bit

of water because in the daytime you

dehydrate you don't know it and that

will affect your meditation negatively

so make sure you have enough fluids

coming in when you're taking a shower

five minutes that's it don't use any

more water than that and actually turn

the water on

get your body wet turn the water off

soak down rinse a lot rinse it off get

out that's the way we have to do it

because water is very precious here

so I can't think of anything else right

off yes to send that money on to a

friend of the same sex no it will have

your mind will start to have left or

right and what happens is you get

infatuated with that person and you

start thinking about all kinds of things

about them and how we're gonna be when

you get off retreat and it drives you

crazy don't do that but wonder if you're

gay then I'll change the meditation to

another round again this is not for

everyone well if you're gay well then

don't want you to or one of the top is

no no it would be something else because

what happens is the other personal

response you may not turn right off on

the other party it can cause problems

it's loving-kindnesses not for every

kind of personality if you're gay then I

will give you the breathing meditation

because that doesn't matter and the

instructions are pretty much the same

so I need to know that when you come to

the first interview I did there's no I

don't care whether you are not doesn't

matter but for your spiritual progress I

need to know so that we can adjust so

that everything will work out very

nicely for you I thinking like a wife or

a child no not right now

you have to understand this is a

training period when you get to a

certain degree of skill then I will

change it and you can do your wife and

your kids and other things but there has

to be somebody clean entity in there now

I didn't I told you to not the person

has to be alive and they have to be the

same sex also not a member of your

family if you do it with a member of

your family a member of your family has

a tendency to do some things that you

don't like and guess what comes up in

your mind so if you pick somebody that's

a little bit further away than that

someone that you respect very much you

can pick a month you can pick a good

friend whatever it's up to you foreign

so is there any other question

tomorrow I will talk more about

hindrances and what you do with

hindrances when they arise but I want to

give you a chance to have your Sitz now

one of the things for 20 years I went

through this practice of you sit for an

hour and you walk for an hour and

everybody did it all together but you

sit for a half an hour and sit longer

when your meditation is good sometimes

an hour and a half sitting can seem like

it's five minutes

sometimes a half an hour sitting seems

like it's hours but you have to be able

to you start extending you're sitting as

you get used to the meditation you'll be

able to sit for longer sit for 45

minutes you sit for an hour

sit for an hour and a half sit for two

hours that's fine as long as you're not

pushing as long as you're not forcing

this is a natural unfolding this is the

way the Buddha wanted us to do the

practice so that naturally your mind

will develop and you will start to go

deeper through your understanding of how

this process works

so there's not going to be the

interviews tomorrow I want to give you

to get get a chance to do a little bit

of practice first and then after that

I'll see everybody every day

individually but if you run across some

kind of problem tomorrow come and tell

me okay

just understand that the first day of a

meditation retreat is by far the hardest

part of the whole retreat because your

mind is still out there and it's going

to have resistance to coming in so it's

going to put you through some kinds of

changes and that's why you're going to

be getting roughly eight hours of sleep

anyway right you go to bed at ten

o'clock

you get up at five o'clock hours you get

an hour after lunch that's eight hours

do you understand what a walk in the

park this

I mean when I was in Burma I went to bed

at eleven o'clock I got up at three

o'clock and then they told me I was

being lazy so I went to bed at twelve

o'clock

got up at two o'clock and I did that for

three months I don't recommend this

so you're gonna have plenty of rest so

please don't go to bed until 10 o'clock

okay and this is for you so you have

enough time to really do the practice

you'll see the advantages of this

anything else okay

my chairs man

the group is offering one who's

suffering three and the first area

speeds in the grieving [ __ ] I'll breathe

and may all beings and may all beings

share this merit that they justified for

the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness may beans inhabiting space and

her baby was and not as a mighty power

this matter of dollars and they love

protect the Buddhist dispensation

you