From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=brlE7tIQOuM

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

okay now this meditation is going to be

a little bit different than what you may

have been doing in the past please

follow these instructions precisely

exactly and your progress is going to be

amazingly good

if you fall back into the old way of

doing it because of a lot of people here

I know are have done meditation another

way in other forms

if you fall back in the old way of doing

it you're going to have almost no

progress in your practice and I'm used

to people seeing a lot of progress so

when you practice loving-kindness

meditation you first start by sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself you

begin by thinking of a time when you

were happy when that happy feeling

arises it's a warm glowing feeling in

the center of your chest as soon as that

feeling arises then you begin to make a

wish for your own happiness may I be

happy may my mind be peaceful and calm

may I be filled with joy what ever which

you make for yourself you need to feel

that which you know what it feels like

to be peaceful and calm keep that

feeling put that feeling in the center

of my chest and surround yourself with

that feeling of peace and calm and read

that feeling to yourself

while you're doing this your mind is

going to wonder you're going to begin to

think about other things thoughts are

not your enemy to fight with or to stop

simply notice that your mind has become

distracted allow that distraction to be

there by itself but don't keep your

attention on now every time Minds move

mine minds attention moves away from the

object of meditation there's a little

bit of tension and tightness that arises

in your mind and in your body you need

to relax that tension now you have your

your brain as two lobes like this and

there's a membrane that goes around each

one when mind becomes distracted that

membrane contracts just a little bit

that contraction that tension that

tightness is created this is subtle it's

not big but when you purpose it

purposefully and intentionally relaxed

you'll feel your mind will kind of feel

like it's coming out a little bit and

then your mind is very calm and clear

and bright bring that mind back to your

object of meditation

what's your object of meditation the

feeling of loving-kindness making no

wish for your own happiness

if you're sitting for 30 minutes and

your mind wanders away 40 or 50 times

during that sitting and you notice that

and you'd let it go and you relax and

come back to your object of meditation

that is a good city a bad city you

notice that your mind is distracted or I

got to think about this for a while now

you're not meditating at all

if your mind wanders 40 or 50 times in a

half an hour that means you have a

fairly active meditation and it's a work

meditation but it's not a bad meditator

mine will settle down by itself that you

have to do it gently not jerking your

mind from one thing to another allow it

to be relaxed smile

this is a smiling meditation

smile with your eyes smile with your

mind smile with your lips a little

Buddha smile like you see on the images

and smile in your heart make it sincere

three wish yourself happiness feel that

happiness radiate that feeling to

yourself

while you're sitting please do not move

any part of your body don't wiggle your

toes don't wiggle your fingers don't

scratch don't rub don't change your

posture don't rock back and forth you

can sit and move as much as he does

while you're doing this there can be

some sensations that arise in your body

sometimes it's an image sometimes it's

stiffness hardness a heat of vibration

sometimes it's even a pain now what the

meditation is about is about learning

how Minds attention moves from one thing

to another the meditation is not about

over focusing on just one thing and

trying to suppress anything so you're

sitting in meditation and let's say you

have an ache in your knee and your

attention gets pulled to that what do

you do the first thing you notice is

your mind has gone to that sensation

allow the space for that sensation to be

relax tension and tightness smile bring

your attention back to the loving

kindness and making a wish for your own

happiness the nature of these kind of

sensations is they don't go away right

away so your minds attention is going to

get pulled back to that you don't point

your mind to it if it doesn't pull your

attention away just let it be but if it

does pull your attention away notice

that your mind is there let it be

relaxed smile come back to your object

of meditation and you'll bounce back and

forth with that for a little while one

of two things will happen either that

sensation will go away or it will but if

it doesn't go away your mind starts

developing the sense of equanimity to it

the emergency is taken out of it and

eventually it won't even pull your

attention to it a spiritual friend is

someone that when you think of them in

their good qualities you really like

them you respect the

you sincerely do wish them well

so you're sitting and you're sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself may

I be peaceful and calm

as I feel this peace and calm I wish

this feeling for you

may you be peaceful

when you start sending loving and kind

thoughts to your spiritual friend you

also want to try to visualize them

that's a kind of a tricky word because

some people visualize very easily they

can they can see an image in their mind

of that they're their friend and they

can hold that image very nicely other

people don't see with images but they

see with words so you're imaging with

words is the same as trying to see

someone you can use their name that's

enough to bring that image up but when

you bring up that vision that thought of

them make sure that you see them smiling

and happy

that can remind you to be smiling and

happy

smiling is a major part of this

meditation the smiling is extremely

important because when you smile your

mind is up but they did a study on the

corners of your mouth and I think it was

at the University of Minnesota and when

the corners of your mouth went down so

did your mental state and when the

corners of your mouth went up so did

your mental state we're trying to

develop a wholesome uplifted mind that

is happy and has a lot of joy in it

so the more you can smile and that means

not only while you're sitting or walking

but while you're going to the bathroom

while you're eating your meal while

you're going from one thing to another

while you're changing your clothes while

you're doing anything you need to be

smiling now

okay

this is a smiling retreat and if you

don't smile I get tough I'll make this

my

stay with the same spiritual friend all

of the time don't jump from one person

to another person to another person stay

with that one spiritual friend they're

the same sex they're alive

there was a but when I was in Malaysia

there was a woman that was having

trouble thinking of a spiritual friend

and at the time mother Teresa was still

alive

and she said can I use her as my

spiritual friend and I said is she the

same sex is she alive

yeah

but it's a little bit more difficult to

do it with someone like that because you

don't know them personally you can you

can use some very inspiring very popular

teachers if you want or not but if you

don't know them personally it's hard to

keep that feeling rolling with them it's

better if you knew them and you knew

what they were what they were like and

what they do okay

now sit no less than 30 minutes at a

time and when you're sitting is good sit

longer this is not going to be a retreat

of bells we're not going to be ringing

bells very much except for important

stuff like eating things like that so

you're going to be going at your own

pace you can have a sitting and at first

it seems like the sitting will last for

hours and hours and hours and you open

up your eyes and look at the clock and

it's been 10 minutes you can't get up

until 30 minutes there are other times

that you'll be sitting and you think

well maybe it's time to stop sitting and

you open up your eyes and you see you've

been sitting an hour and a half so wow

that was nice

this is a natural progression one

sitting is not going to be the same as

the next don't try to force it if you

have a good sitting and then you get up

to do your walking meditation and you

come back don't think that you're going

to be able to have that sitting continue

because it'll change that's the nature

of our minds walking meditation do not

put your attention on your feet stay

with your spiritual friend keep

radiating loving-kindness to your

spiritual friend while you're walking

the walking is for exercise to get your

blood flowing now one thing that happens

in retreat and it's very frustrating to

me but I can't get people to stop doing

it is you'll be sitting on the floor and

you say well I'm uncomfortable and it's

been 45 minutes or an hour or something

like that and then you get up off the

floor and you sit in the chair don't do

that

the walking meditation is every bit as

important as the sitting meditation if

you get up from the floor and just go to

a chair and sit what happens is your

mind starts to dull out because you

haven't got your circulation going so

well the walking meditation you don't

have to do it super slow walk at a

normal pace but stay with your spiritual

friend now at first the walking

meditation is entities

one difficult because you're not used to

it and you're used to walking around

walk from here over to there you're used

to thinking medicine thinking that and

roaming around so the walking meditation

is a very important aspect to help break

old habits of thinking while you're

walking instead of radiating

loving-kindness while you're walking I

want you to keep your meditation going

from the time of your sitting getting up

going outside

keep your meditation on your spiritual

front walk no less than fifteen minutes

when you're walking is good

you can walk longer okay you can walk up

to 45 minutes I don't think any longer

than that is really useful you get tired

after that so you after you do your

walking you stay with your spiritual

friend come in sit again I want

everybody to understand that I want you

sitting no less and this is sitting not

just sitting and walking just sitting

more no less than six hours a day which

is not a lot

and when you can sit longer I want you

to sit longer I was in a regimen when I

was in Burma where I had to I had to sit

for one hour and walk for one hour and I

was doing that 18 hours a day try that

sometime it's not much fun but I don't

care if you have a break that's up to

you

keep smiling keep wishing your friend

happiness okay do this with your daily

activities do this with your job that

they give you if you have to chop

vegetables stay with your spiritual

friend and chop

be careful the job smile

keep your smile going keep your smile

keep your smile going

don't let any brakes happen now don't

get frustrated because your mind is

going to get distracted welcome to the

real world it always gets distracted by

something as soon as you notice it you

can't criticize yourself you just notice

that your mind has gone off on a tangent

this time okay let it go and relax and

smile and come back this is a practice

of do it again do it some more it's okay

lightness don't be critical about

yourself or what you're doing

keep your mind uplifted as much as you

possibly can now there is this thing

that is called the six R's and that's

something that we developed a while back

this is the exact instructions in doing

the meditation recognize that your mind

is distracted release the distraction

relax the tension and tightness caused

by that distraction rese mile return to

your object of meditation repeat the

process

six are every distraction recognized and

it's not oh I've got to memorize these

six words or I'm not going to do it

right this is just a flow it's

recognized release relax smile come back

and keep it going

get in the flow of it I was giving a

talk in Laguna Sangha and one lady

raised her hand she said you mean you

have to roll your R's it's not six

different things that you have to do

it's a flow that you want to get into

recognize release it relax smile return

that is right effort according to the

Buddha's teaching according the a full

tap the six ours are right effort or I

call it harmonious practice

when an unwholesome state arises what's

an unwholesome state anything that pulls

your mind's attention away from your

object of meditation you recognize that

unwholesome state you release that

unwholesome state and relax you bring up

a wholesome state Oh Reece mile and come

back your object of meditation and you

keep that object that wholesome object

going

that's right effort that's what the

Buddha was continually stressing so that

your mind would develop new habits and

ways of looking at the world so your

mind will be open and accepting and

loving and kind and content

meditation will teach you all of that I

promise and a lot more make the

meditation fun this isn't some kind of

regimen where you have to rich your

teeth and go to it if you're doing that

I'll come along and smack you in the

back of the head don't try to force

thoughts away don't try to force

anything

this isn't the Buddha's weighing force

it isn't the Buddha's way to suppress

what it is is learning how to lovingly

accept everything that arises in the

present moment and allow it to be there

without feeding it anymore don't get

involved in oh you know this happened a

little while back in this and then and

and and and and and and now you're a

thousand miles away what is that that is

part of one of the hindrances

restlessness be familiar with

restlessness don't be around for a long

time

learning to see how mines attention

moves from one thing to another is what

the meditation is about why is it moving

why is this happening we don't care

about why we let the psychologist worry

about that we want to know how does

mind's attention jump from I was over

here very happy smiling wishing my

friend happiness and all of a sudden I'm

thinking about that how did that happen

that's the key question not why did it

happen how did it happen when you start

looking at how Minds attention moves you

start seeing that there's a feeling of

that arises and then there's this

tension and tightness that comes up and

right after that now you're starting to

think about all of your concepts your

opinions your ideas your stories start

to come up and this is where you really

really start believing these thoughts

and these feelings their mind and I have

to control them and I have to do

something with them well actually that's

not true

it's just thoughts it's just feelings

your job is to allow them to be there

with up trying to force them to be

anything other than what they are but

not keep your attention on them

bring your attention back and relax and

smile and come back to your object of

meditation you'll start to see that all

of the distractions turn into a kind of

process and this process works exactly

in the same way every time

and this is one of the funny things

because a lot of people in the West they

say well the people in the east their

mind is different than ours

no it's not everybody's mind works in

exactly the same way boy does that get a

lot of psychologists fired up there's

always a feeling that arises there's

always craving that comes up after that

there's always clinging which is all of

your thoughts and opinions and ideas and

concepts and then there's this habitual

tendency my habit is whenever I have

this feeling and these thoughts I always

act in this way and then you're off in

la-la land for a little while until you

remember to 6ar it and come back to your

object of meditation now after you do

your walking meditation or let's go back

to the walking a little bit while you're

walking don't be looking around too much

where your eyes go there goes your mind

and your mind will start thinking about

this and that and become distracted

now at first the walking is going to be

difficult because you're not used to

staying with your object of meditation

while you're walking that's okay

that's only natural as soon as you

notice that your mind is distracted

let it be relaxed smile come back to

your object of meditation

while you're walking if you keep your

eyes down six or seven feet in front of

you not in a real focused way but just a

gentle gaze and staying with your object

of meditation this is the way to do the

practice by putting your attention on

anything other than your spiritual

friend after 15-20 minutes it's time to

come back and do this it and come back

and keep your meditation going all the

time you don't put breaks in it and keep

your meditation stay with your friend

come sit down

now the first 10 minutes of the

meditation you start sending loving and

kind thoughts to yourself again after 10

minutes you go back to your same

spiritual friend and stay within the

rest of the time again while you're

walking while you're eating while you're

going to the bathroom I am taking the

shower it doesn't matter

stay with your spiritual friend now what

can happen is your meditation can hit a

space where it becomes very good and now

it's time to do a little bit of walking

because your body start making

it just feels right that you should get

up and walk

stay with your spiritual friend you can

get into a jhana while you're sitting

and you can keep that jhana going while

you're walking what is a Jonathan a

jhana is a stage of the meditation it's

a stage of your understanding how the

process works

okay

we get up at five o'clock in the morning

we are here at 5:30 we stay in the

meditation hall until 10 o'clock not

nine thirty nine quarter after nine stay

in the meditation hall until ten o'clock

and then you can go back to your ear

cooties if you're tired you can sit and

dinner in your room if you want don't go

to bed before ten o'clock don't be lazy

everybody here

so you get seven hours of sleep you go

to bed at ten o'clock to get up at five

and seven hours right there after lunch

you take an hour break you we eat is

11:00 after that clean up do your

personal body things that need to be

done and you still have until one

o'clock to take rest if you want or you

can walk if you want I don't care what

you do but what you have to do is if

you're going to go out for a walk stay

with your spiritual friend that's all

but if you want to lay down and take

rest in the afternoon do it from from

12:00 to 1:00 now that's eight hours

sleep this is a walk in the park this is

really really easy

I don't demand that you get up at 3

o'clock in the morning like I had to I

don't demand that you go to bed at 11

o'clock like I had to and got told that

I was lazy because I've taken so much

sleep I'm giving you eight hours okay

but this this is a piece of cake keep

your practice going all the time

I can't think of anything else oh you

can take notes during the talk if you

want or you know I'll have it all

recorded you can you will have some

handout that you can keep if you don't

want to take them it's whatever you're

comfortable with

okay

any questions

yeah all right thanks

the part where you pick

I'm trying to conceptualize how I would

radiate these thoughts or feelings to my

spiritual friend and I'm not sure if

it's to mentally create words or is it

more it depends on your it depends on

your mental makeup if it's easy for you

to visualize somebody

thank you close your eyes and you can

see them right in front of you use that

image okay now take that image and put

them in your heart and surround them

with that feeling that you make when you

bring them into you and then you radiate

that feeling

it's important not to get into the idea

of pushing this out to someone it's more

like you're wrapping up a little tiny

baby and that's what it is it's also

you're developing your ability to send

love and kindness as if you are the wick

on a candle you you are the light and in

the radiant goes from the wick of candle

you are the I think also in terms of the

spiritual friend you do not want to

choose a family member and first it's

best not to especially if you're living

with that family member because you

think of them and all of the wonderful

things about them and you really love

them a lot and then you remember they

did something you didn't like instead of

sending loving and kind thoughts to them

you're sending him some kind of angry

thoughts so picked a friend not a

relative you'll do the relative later I

promise you'll do all of your relatives

the loot

this is what we practice here is called

breaking down the barriers so once you

have developed your attention and your

heart so that it's really open and you

have a lot of strong with

t-then will start having some fun now I

tell you that this is a loving-kindness

meditation and it is and that's not all

of it what this practice is is the

Brahma be Horus and they naturally go

from one from loving kindness to

compassion from compassion to joy from

joy to equanimity as you go deeper in

the practice you don't have to make

those kind of things come up at first

just stay with the loving-kindness and

smile

that can't be overstated you got a smile

you have to have that mind that's

uplifted that is how you will progress

the fastest now again with the spiritual

friend while you're radiating

loving-kindness to your spiritual friend

you want about 70% of your attention on

the feeling of radiation you want about

25% of your attention on the feeling of

your wish and only about 5% on

visualizing them that gives you an idea

of the importance the visualization if

you're if you're seeing them like as in

a photograph or you seeing them like

moving around in a movie it can

sometimes get fuzzy maybe it's a cloudy

it's like it's a long ways away and

sometimes it just disappears

don't worry about

start again if you can't bring up that

visualization bring up their name and

that the visualization will come don't

spend a lot of time trying to make the

visualization it arrives it's not near

as important as a radiating of the

loving-kindness or making a wish okay

anything else yeah

when you're raiding letting your friends

your friends your heart your radiated

are you alike a wick of a candle how

does a candle radiate

yeah penny

when I think of the happy feeling

I

i watch the damn attitude a bit website

instead of finding out in my heart I

tell I follow my loving and a happy

thought if I put this inside here and I

think I'm very tired but I'm betting

when I find it somewhere

what if he don't push it

just start feeling that warmth and the

radiation feeling they smile more

smiling is the key smiling opens up your

heart smiling opens up your mind

smiling allows your mind to have joy joy

is an Enlightenment factor it's

desirable to have joy in their practice

I had years and years of people telling

me whenever I had joy arise don't be

attacked geez I didn't want to be

attached I was putting that stuff away

left at night it's okay to have joy

arise it's desirable what do you enjoy

arises the same thing you do when a pain

arises notice that it's there allow it

to be there relax smile come back to

your object a meditation

okay

yeah the object of meditation is baby

eating making a wish for your habit for

your happiness or your friends happiness

seeing them smile what about the breath

didn't want to forget about the breath

absolutely if you see that you're

starting to do things with the breath

then stop and smile and start over

now I do teach the breath meditation for

some people and kindness is extremely

difficult to do engineers for one they

can't feel because they're so used to

thinking so what you do with what I do

with that is I say okay you don't have

to do a lot of Dinos anymore let's go do

the breathing meditation but I like

teaching loving-kindness because it's

different than then what other people

are practicing a lot of people practice

mindfulness of breathing and they've

developed all kinds of bad habits and

it's hard to let those habits go so I

give you a loving-kindness meditation to

do instead and this is a new so your

mind says aha okay we're going to be

doing it and we're going to do it this

way after a period of time depending on

who you are and how you're doing with

your meditation I might say okay let

that go and go back to the breath now

you understand how the meditation is

done is basically the same the same

instructions it's just a different

object amenity

but it's real easy to fall into old

habits and develop your one pointed

concentration and one thought one

pointed concentration is real peaceful

real calm your mind is steady it just

stays on that object of meditation and

you don't learn anything because your

mind is so absorbed into the breath

it's hard to remember on the in-breath

relaxing on the out-breath relaxed it's

hard to do that unless you've developed

a habit and you develop the habit by

practicing loving-kindness first

don't want anybody taking a while

playing and saying well I've done that

one enough I want to go back to the

breathing meditation I'll tell you the

brahma vihara z' will take you to the

realm of nothingness very very deep

strong equanimity that's as far as the

Brahma mejores will take you that

doesn't mean your meditation is over can

you attain nirvana by doing the brahma

vihara so you bet

the Ivana is real it's not for working

for next lifetime can attain it in this

lifetime

over my years of practice and teaching I

have found the closest thing to the

Buddha's explanation of the practice and

the instructions I have given you if you

follow those exactly you don't add

anything you don't subtract anything

your progress is going to be amazing as

I said I'm really used to seeing good

progress and if you're not having good

progress I start wondering what else are

you doing how are you changing the

meditation a lot of people are afraid of

the word JAMA they've been taught to do

straight-up asana what we are doing is

Samanta which means tranquility which is

drama and Vipassana at the same time

and we'll get into that more as the

retreat goes on but for right now please

follow the directions as closely as you

can you see you're you're going off in

another way then just stop and let it go

and take a breath slowly come back to

the instructions you will be satisfied

with this retreat Darington

and if you don't smile I will make you

smile

Oh any other question

you

okay now this meditation is going to be

a little bit different than what you may

have been doing in the past please

follow these instructions precisely

exactly and your progress is going to be

amazingly good

if you fall back into the old way of

doing it because of a lot of people here

I know are have done meditation another

way in other forms

if you fall back in the old way of doing

it you're going to have almost no

progress in your practice and I'm used

to people seeing a lot of progress so

when you practice loving-kindness

meditation you first start by sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself you

begin by thinking of a time when you

were happy when that happy feeling

arises it's a warm glowing feeling in

the center of your chest as soon as that

feeling arises then you begin to make a

wish for your own happiness may I be

happy may my mind be peaceful and calm

may I be filled with joy what ever which

you make for yourself you need to feel

that which you know what it feels like

to be peaceful and calm keep that

feeling put that feeling in the center

of my chest and surround yourself with

that feeling of peace and calm and read

that feeling to yourself

while you're doing this your mind is

going to wonder you're going to begin to

think about other things thoughts are

not your enemy to fight with or to stop

simply notice that your mind has become

distracted allow that distraction to be

there by itself but don't keep your

attention on now every time Minds move

mine minds attention moves away from the

object of meditation there's a little

bit of tension and tightness that arises

in your mind and in your body you need

to relax that tension now you have your

your brain as two lobes like this and

there's a membrane that goes around each

one when mind becomes distracted that

membrane contracts just a little bit

that contraction that tension that

tightness is created this is subtle it's

not big but when you purpose it

purposefully and intentionally relaxed

you'll feel your mind will kind of feel

like it's coming out a little bit and

then your mind is very calm and clear

and bright bring that mind back to your

object of meditation

what's your object of meditation the

feeling of loving-kindness making no

wish for your own happiness

if you're sitting for 30 minutes and

your mind wanders away 40 or 50 times

during that sitting and you notice that

and you'd let it go and you relax and

come back to your object of meditation

that is a good city a bad city you

notice that your mind is distracted or I

got to think about this for a while now

you're not meditating at all

if your mind wanders 40 or 50 times in a

half an hour that means you have a

fairly active meditation and it's a work

meditation but it's not a bad meditator

mine will settle down by itself that you

have to do it gently not jerking your

mind from one thing to another allow it

to be relaxed smile

this is a smiling meditation

smile with your eyes smile with your

mind smile with your lips a little

Buddha smile like you see on the images

and smile in your heart make it sincere

three wish yourself happiness feel that

happiness radiate that feeling to

yourself

while you're sitting please do not move

any part of your body don't wiggle your

toes don't wiggle your fingers don't

scratch don't rub don't change your

posture don't rock back and forth you

can sit and move as much as he does

while you're doing this there can be

some sensations that arise in your body

sometimes it's an image sometimes it's

stiffness hardness a heat of vibration

sometimes it's even a pain now what the

meditation is about is about learning

how Minds attention moves from one thing

to another the meditation is not about

over focusing on just one thing and

trying to suppress anything so you're

sitting in meditation and let's say you

have an ache in your knee and your

attention gets pulled to that what do

you do the first thing you notice is

your mind has gone to that sensation

allow the space for that sensation to be

relax tension and tightness smile bring

your attention back to the loving

kindness and making a wish for your own

happiness the nature of these kind of

sensations is they don't go away right

away so your minds attention is going to

get pulled back to that you don't point

your mind to it if it doesn't pull your

attention away just let it be but if it

does pull your attention away notice

that your mind is there let it be

relaxed smile come back to your object

of meditation and you'll bounce back and

forth with that for a little while one

of two things will happen either that

sensation will go away or it will but if

it doesn't go away your mind starts

developing the sense of equanimity to it

the emergency is taken out of it and

eventually it won't even pull your

attention to it a spiritual friend is

someone that when you think of them in

their good qualities you really like

them you respect the

you sincerely do wish them well

so you're sitting and you're sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself may

I be peaceful and calm

as I feel this peace and calm I wish

this feeling for you

may you be peaceful

when you start sending loving and kind

thoughts to your spiritual friend you

also want to try to visualize them

that's a kind of a tricky word because

some people visualize very easily they

can they can see an image in their mind

of that they're their friend and they

can hold that image very nicely other

people don't see with images but they

see with words so you're imaging with

words is the same as trying to see

someone you can use their name that's

enough to bring that image up but when

you bring up that vision that thought of

them make sure that you see them smiling

and happy

that can remind you to be smiling and

happy

smiling is a major part of this

meditation the smiling is extremely

important because when you smile your

mind is up but they did a study on the

corners of your mouth and I think it was

at the University of Minnesota and when

the corners of your mouth went down so

did your mental state and when the

corners of your mouth went up so did

your mental state we're trying to

develop a wholesome uplifted mind that

is happy and has a lot of joy in it

so the more you can smile and that means

not only while you're sitting or walking

but while you're going to the bathroom

while you're eating your meal while

you're going from one thing to another

while you're changing your clothes while

you're doing anything you need to be

smiling now

okay

this is a smiling retreat and if you

don't smile I get tough I'll make this

my

stay with the same spiritual friend all

of the time don't jump from one person

to another person to another person stay

with that one spiritual friend they're

the same sex they're alive

there was a but when I was in Malaysia

there was a woman that was having

trouble thinking of a spiritual friend

and at the time mother Teresa was still

alive

and she said can I use her as my

spiritual friend and I said is she the

same sex is she alive

yeah

but it's a little bit more difficult to

do it with someone like that because you

don't know them personally you can you

can use some very inspiring very popular

teachers if you want or not but if you

don't know them personally it's hard to

keep that feeling rolling with them it's

better if you knew them and you knew

what they were what they were like and

what they do okay

now sit no less than 30 minutes at a

time and when you're sitting is good sit

longer this is not going to be a retreat

of bells we're not going to be ringing

bells very much except for important

stuff like eating things like that so

you're going to be going at your own

pace you can have a sitting and at first

it seems like the sitting will last for

hours and hours and hours and you open

up your eyes and look at the clock and

it's been 10 minutes you can't get up

until 30 minutes there are other times

that you'll be sitting and you think

well maybe it's time to stop sitting and

you open up your eyes and you see you've

been sitting an hour and a half so wow

that was nice

this is a natural progression one

sitting is not going to be the same as

the next don't try to force it if you

have a good sitting and then you get up

to do your walking meditation and you

come back don't think that you're going

to be able to have that sitting continue

because it'll change that's the nature

of our minds walking meditation do not

put your attention on your feet stay

with your spiritual friend keep

radiating loving-kindness to your

spiritual friend while you're walking

the walking is for exercise to get your

blood flowing now one thing that happens

in retreat and it's very frustrating to

me but I can't get people to stop doing

it is you'll be sitting on the floor and

you say well I'm uncomfortable and it's

been 45 minutes or an hour or something

like that and then you get up off the

floor and you sit in the chair don't do

that

the walking meditation is every bit as

important as the sitting meditation if

you get up from the floor and just go to

a chair and sit what happens is your

mind starts to dull out because you

haven't got your circulation going so

well the walking meditation you don't

have to do it super slow walk at a

normal pace but stay with your spiritual

friend now at first the walking

meditation is entities

one difficult because you're not used to

it and you're used to walking around

walk from here over to there you're used

to thinking medicine thinking that and

roaming around so the walking meditation

is a very important aspect to help break

old habits of thinking while you're

walking instead of radiating

loving-kindness while you're walking I

want you to keep your meditation going

from the time of your sitting getting up

going outside

keep your meditation on your spiritual

front walk no less than fifteen minutes

when you're walking is good

you can walk longer okay you can walk up

to 45 minutes I don't think any longer

than that is really useful you get tired

after that so you after you do your

walking you stay with your spiritual

friend come in sit again I want

everybody to understand that I want you

sitting no less and this is sitting not

just sitting and walking just sitting

more no less than six hours a day which

is not a lot

and when you can sit longer I want you

to sit longer I was in a regimen when I

was in Burma where I had to I had to sit

for one hour and walk for one hour and I

was doing that 18 hours a day try that

sometime it's not much fun but I don't

care if you have a break that's up to

you

keep smiling keep wishing your friend

happiness okay do this with your daily

activities do this with your job that

they give you if you have to chop

vegetables stay with your spiritual

friend and chop

be careful the job smile

keep your smile going keep your smile

keep your smile going

don't let any brakes happen now don't

get frustrated because your mind is

going to get distracted welcome to the

real world it always gets distracted by

something as soon as you notice it you

can't criticize yourself you just notice

that your mind has gone off on a tangent

this time okay let it go and relax and

smile and come back this is a practice

of do it again do it some more it's okay

lightness don't be critical about

yourself or what you're doing

keep your mind uplifted as much as you

possibly can now there is this thing

that is called the six R's and that's

something that we developed a while back

this is the exact instructions in doing

the meditation recognize that your mind

is distracted release the distraction

relax the tension and tightness caused

by that distraction rese mile return to

your object of meditation repeat the

process

six are every distraction recognized and

it's not oh I've got to memorize these

six words or I'm not going to do it

right this is just a flow it's

recognized release relax smile come back

and keep it going

get in the flow of it I was giving a

talk in Laguna Sangha and one lady

raised her hand she said you mean you

have to roll your R's it's not six

different things that you have to do

it's a flow that you want to get into

recognize release it relax smile return

that is right effort according to the

Buddha's teaching according the a full

tap the six ours are right effort or I

call it harmonious practice

when an unwholesome state arises what's

an unwholesome state anything that pulls

your mind's attention away from your

object of meditation you recognize that

unwholesome state you release that

unwholesome state and relax you bring up

a wholesome state Oh Reece mile and come

back your object of meditation and you

keep that object that wholesome object

going

that's right effort that's what the

Buddha was continually stressing so that

your mind would develop new habits and

ways of looking at the world so your

mind will be open and accepting and

loving and kind and content

meditation will teach you all of that I

promise and a lot more make the

meditation fun this isn't some kind of

regimen where you have to rich your

teeth and go to it if you're doing that

I'll come along and smack you in the

back of the head don't try to force

thoughts away don't try to force

anything

this isn't the Buddha's weighing force

it isn't the Buddha's way to suppress

what it is is learning how to lovingly

accept everything that arises in the

present moment and allow it to be there

without feeding it anymore don't get

involved in oh you know this happened a

little while back in this and then and

and and and and and and now you're a

thousand miles away what is that that is

part of one of the hindrances

restlessness be familiar with

restlessness don't be around for a long

time

learning to see how mines attention

moves from one thing to another is what

the meditation is about why is it moving

why is this happening we don't care

about why we let the psychologist worry

about that we want to know how does

mind's attention jump from I was over

here very happy smiling wishing my

friend happiness and all of a sudden I'm

thinking about that how did that happen

that's the key question not why did it

happen how did it happen when you start

looking at how Minds attention moves you

start seeing that there's a feeling of

that arises and then there's this

tension and tightness that comes up and

right after that now you're starting to

think about all of your concepts your

opinions your ideas your stories start

to come up and this is where you really

really start believing these thoughts

and these feelings their mind and I have

to control them and I have to do

something with them well actually that's

not true

it's just thoughts it's just feelings

your job is to allow them to be there

with up trying to force them to be

anything other than what they are but

not keep your attention on them

bring your attention back and relax and

smile and come back to your object of

meditation you'll start to see that all

of the distractions turn into a kind of

process and this process works exactly

in the same way every time

and this is one of the funny things

because a lot of people in the West they

say well the people in the east their

mind is different than ours

no it's not everybody's mind works in

exactly the same way boy does that get a

lot of psychologists fired up there's

always a feeling that arises there's

always craving that comes up after that

there's always clinging which is all of

your thoughts and opinions and ideas and

concepts and then there's this habitual

tendency my habit is whenever I have

this feeling and these thoughts I always

act in this way and then you're off in

la-la land for a little while until you

remember to 6ar it and come back to your

object of meditation now after you do

your walking meditation or let's go back

to the walking a little bit while you're

walking don't be looking around too much

where your eyes go there goes your mind

and your mind will start thinking about

this and that and become distracted

now at first the walking is going to be

difficult because you're not used to

staying with your object of meditation

while you're walking that's okay

that's only natural as soon as you

notice that your mind is distracted

let it be relaxed smile come back to

your object of meditation

while you're walking if you keep your

eyes down six or seven feet in front of

you not in a real focused way but just a

gentle gaze and staying with your object

of meditation this is the way to do the

practice by putting your attention on

anything other than your spiritual

friend after 15-20 minutes it's time to

come back and do this it and come back

and keep your meditation going all the

time you don't put breaks in it and keep

your meditation stay with your friend

come sit down

now the first 10 minutes of the

meditation you start sending loving and

kind thoughts to yourself again after 10

minutes you go back to your same

spiritual friend and stay within the

rest of the time again while you're

walking while you're eating while you're

going to the bathroom I am taking the

shower it doesn't matter

stay with your spiritual friend now what

can happen is your meditation can hit a

space where it becomes very good and now

it's time to do a little bit of walking

because your body start making

it just feels right that you should get

up and walk

stay with your spiritual friend you can

get into a jhana while you're sitting

and you can keep that jhana going while

you're walking what is a Jonathan a

jhana is a stage of the meditation it's

a stage of your understanding how the

process works

okay

we get up at five o'clock in the morning

we are here at 5:30 we stay in the

meditation hall until 10 o'clock not

nine thirty nine quarter after nine stay

in the meditation hall until ten o'clock

and then you can go back to your ear

cooties if you're tired you can sit and

dinner in your room if you want don't go

to bed before ten o'clock don't be lazy

everybody here

so you get seven hours of sleep you go

to bed at ten o'clock to get up at five

and seven hours right there after lunch

you take an hour break you we eat is

11:00 after that clean up do your

personal body things that need to be

done and you still have until one

o'clock to take rest if you want or you

can walk if you want I don't care what

you do but what you have to do is if

you're going to go out for a walk stay

with your spiritual friend that's all

but if you want to lay down and take

rest in the afternoon do it from from

12:00 to 1:00 now that's eight hours

sleep this is a walk in the park this is

really really easy

I don't demand that you get up at 3

o'clock in the morning like I had to I

don't demand that you go to bed at 11

o'clock like I had to and got told that

I was lazy because I've taken so much

sleep I'm giving you eight hours okay

but this this is a piece of cake keep

your practice going all the time

I can't think of anything else oh you

can take notes during the talk if you

want or you know I'll have it all

recorded you can you will have some

handout that you can keep if you don't

want to take them it's whatever you're

comfortable with

okay

any questions

yeah all right thanks

the part where you pick

I'm trying to conceptualize how I would

radiate these thoughts or feelings to my

spiritual friend and I'm not sure if

it's to mentally create words or is it

more it depends on your it depends on

your mental makeup if it's easy for you

to visualize somebody

thank you close your eyes and you can

see them right in front of you use that

image okay now take that image and put

them in your heart and surround them

with that feeling that you make when you

bring them into you and then you radiate

that feeling

it's important not to get into the idea

of pushing this out to someone it's more

like you're wrapping up a little tiny

baby and that's what it is it's also

you're developing your ability to send

love and kindness as if you are the wick

on a candle you you are the light and in

the radiant goes from the wick of candle

you are the I think also in terms of the

spiritual friend you do not want to

choose a family member and first it's

best not to especially if you're living

with that family member because you

think of them and all of the wonderful

things about them and you really love

them a lot and then you remember they

did something you didn't like instead of

sending loving and kind thoughts to them

you're sending him some kind of angry

thoughts so picked a friend not a

relative you'll do the relative later I

promise you'll do all of your relatives

the loot

this is what we practice here is called

breaking down the barriers so once you

have developed your attention and your

heart so that it's really open and you

have a lot of strong with

t-then will start having some fun now I

tell you that this is a loving-kindness

meditation and it is and that's not all

of it what this practice is is the

Brahma be Horus and they naturally go

from one from loving kindness to

compassion from compassion to joy from

joy to equanimity as you go deeper in

the practice you don't have to make

those kind of things come up at first

just stay with the loving-kindness and

smile

that can't be overstated you got a smile

you have to have that mind that's

uplifted that is how you will progress

the fastest now again with the spiritual

friend while you're radiating

loving-kindness to your spiritual friend

you want about 70% of your attention on

the feeling of radiation you want about

25% of your attention on the feeling of

your wish and only about 5% on

visualizing them that gives you an idea

of the importance the visualization if

you're if you're seeing them like as in

a photograph or you seeing them like

moving around in a movie it can

sometimes get fuzzy maybe it's a cloudy

it's like it's a long ways away and

sometimes it just disappears

don't worry about

start again if you can't bring up that

visualization bring up their name and

that the visualization will come don't

spend a lot of time trying to make the

visualization it arrives it's not near

as important as a radiating of the

loving-kindness or making a wish okay

anything else yeah

when you're raiding letting your friends

your friends your heart your radiated

are you alike a wick of a candle how

does a candle radiate

yeah penny

when I think of the happy feeling

I

i watch the damn attitude a bit website

instead of finding out in my heart I

tell I follow my loving and a happy

thought if I put this inside here and I

think I'm very tired but I'm betting

when I find it somewhere

what if he don't push it

just start feeling that warmth and the

radiation feeling they smile more

smiling is the key smiling opens up your

heart smiling opens up your mind

smiling allows your mind to have joy joy

is an Enlightenment factor it's

desirable to have joy in their practice

I had years and years of people telling

me whenever I had joy arise don't be

attacked geez I didn't want to be

attached I was putting that stuff away

left at night it's okay to have joy

arise it's desirable what do you enjoy

arises the same thing you do when a pain

arises notice that it's there allow it

to be there relax smile come back to

your object a meditation

okay

yeah the object of meditation is baby

eating making a wish for your habit for

your happiness or your friends happiness

seeing them smile what about the breath

didn't want to forget about the breath

absolutely if you see that you're

starting to do things with the breath

then stop and smile and start over

now I do teach the breath meditation for

some people and kindness is extremely

difficult to do engineers for one they

can't feel because they're so used to

thinking so what you do with what I do

with that is I say okay you don't have

to do a lot of Dinos anymore let's go do

the breathing meditation but I like

teaching loving-kindness because it's

different than then what other people

are practicing a lot of people practice

mindfulness of breathing and they've

developed all kinds of bad habits and

it's hard to let those habits go so I

give you a loving-kindness meditation to

do instead and this is a new so your

mind says aha okay we're going to be

doing it and we're going to do it this

way after a period of time depending on

who you are and how you're doing with

your meditation I might say okay let

that go and go back to the breath now

you understand how the meditation is

done is basically the same the same

instructions it's just a different

object amenity

but it's real easy to fall into old

habits and develop your one pointed

concentration and one thought one

pointed concentration is real peaceful

real calm your mind is steady it just

stays on that object of meditation and

you don't learn anything because your

mind is so absorbed into the breath

it's hard to remember on the in-breath

relaxing on the out-breath relaxed it's

hard to do that unless you've developed

a habit and you develop the habit by

practicing loving-kindness first

don't want anybody taking a while

playing and saying well I've done that

one enough I want to go back to the

breathing meditation I'll tell you the

brahma vihara z' will take you to the

realm of nothingness very very deep

strong equanimity that's as far as the

Brahma mejores will take you that

doesn't mean your meditation is over can

you attain nirvana by doing the brahma

vihara so you bet

the Ivana is real it's not for working

for next lifetime can attain it in this

lifetime

over my years of practice and teaching I

have found the closest thing to the

Buddha's explanation of the practice and

the instructions I have given you if you

follow those exactly you don't add

anything you don't subtract anything

your progress is going to be amazing as

I said I'm really used to seeing good

progress and if you're not having good

progress I start wondering what else are

you doing how are you changing the

meditation a lot of people are afraid of

the word JAMA they've been taught to do

straight-up asana what we are doing is

Samanta which means tranquility which is

drama and Vipassana at the same time

and we'll get into that more as the

retreat goes on but for right now please

follow the directions as closely as you

can you see you're you're going off in

another way then just stop and let it go

and take a breath slowly come back to

the instructions you will be satisfied

with this retreat Darington

and if you don't smile I will make you

smile

Oh any other question

you