JT 6 Loving Kindness Meditation Instructions - Orientation 2011-BncD2pinvTo.en.vtt.txt

From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=BncD2pinvTo

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

so have you already

they've been oriented okay

so you have an idea of what we're going

to be doing here i would like you to cut

down your talking

and only talk about dhamma

okay

now the retreat is going to be a loving

kindness retreat

and

what that really entails is learning how

to smile

all the time

there's a real interesting thing that

happens

when the corners of your mouth go down

so does your mental state

when the corners of your mouth go up so

does your mental state

i don't care whether you don't feel like

smiling

i want you to smile anyway

okay

it's important because it helps bring

your mind up

and it will help joy arise

and when you have joy in your mind

your mind is very clear your mind is

very alert and it's very easy to see

when your mind starts to get pulled down

so smiling is a real important aspect

of this practice

when you practice loving-kindness

meditation you first start by sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself

remember a time when you were happy when

you held a little baby in your arms when

you held a little animal in your hands

and that

feeling that you get from that is a nice

warm glowing feeling in the center of

your chest

as soon as that feeling arises

then you make a wish for your own

happiness

may i be happy

may my mind be peaceful and calm

may my mind be filled with joy

any kind of wish that you make for

yourself you need to feel

that wish

you know what it feels like to be happy

you know what it feels like to be

peaceful and calm

bring that feeling up

and put that feeling right in the center

of your chest in that glowing feeling

and stay with that as long as you can

now your mind is going to wander

and it's okay

we're not trying to shut our mind down

and stop it from thinking

but as soon as you notice that you're

not on the feeling of loving kindness

and feeling that wish

then

recognize that your mind has become

distracted

let go of that distraction the way you

let it go is that you don't continue

thinking those thoughts

you just let those thoughts go don't

keep your attention on them

relax the tension and tightness

in your head

now your mind or your head

is made up of two lobes like this

and there's a membrane that goes around

each lobe

it's called the meninges

every time you have a thought

every time you have a sensation arise

every time you have a feeling arise

that membrane tightens

okay

now what you want to do is be able to

recognize that and relax it and when you

relax you'll feel kind of expansion

feeling in your head

because that pressure is taken off

this is

a very important aspect of this training

now what that tightness is

is craving

that's how you can recognize what

craving and it is it always manifests as

tension and tightness

in your mind

and in your body around your brain

so you want to relax that and when you

do that you'll notice right after that

you don't have any thoughts in your mind

your mind is very bright your mind is

very alert

your mind is pure because it doesn't

have any craving in it at that time

then

you need to bring up a wholesome thing

that's why we want you to smile

and then come back to your object of

meditation your object to meditation is

a feeling of loving kindness

and make a wish for your own happiness

and then stay with that as long as you

can

it doesn't matter how many times your

mind gets distracted

okay if you can have

your mind running all over the place as

soon as you notice it

let it go let go of it

don't continue thinking that thought

relax

smile

come back to your object of meditation

if your mind wanders 50 times in a

sitting and 50 times you notice your

mind is is wandering

you let it go you relax smile and then

come back

that is a good meditation

so the whole thing comes down to

not judging not condemning yourself

because you think you should be doing

better than you're doing

it's just simply noticing

letting go

relaxing smiling come back and do it

again

every time you do this

you are practicing

right effort

your mindfulness

will get very sharp

the more times you notice that your mind

is distracted and you let go of that

distraction

don't get caught in the content of your

thoughts

your story doesn't matter at

all okay

now the whole point of buddhism is

learning

how

mind's attention works

not why we don't care about why this

story came up

we want to know

how

mind's attention

moves from one thing to another

that's the definition of mindfulness

how does mind's attention move

so the more times your mind gets

distracted and you notice that and let

it go and relax and smile and come back

the better your meditation becomes

eventually what's going to happen is

your mind will start to stay on your

objective meditation for a longer period

of time

and the distractions won't last for

quite as long

when you first start off

you can get distracted for a minute or

two minutes or five minutes whatever it

doesn't matter

as soon as you recognize that your mind

is not with the meditation

don't criticize yourself

don't condemn yourself

just go oh okay

now you use the six hours again

this is a game of do it again

okay it doesn't matter how many times

your mind gets distracted it's fine

understand that every time you have a

distraction

that's helping you

to improve your mindfulness

so the whole point is learning how to

recognize

mind's attention moving from one thing

to another

how

that's the buddha's question how does

this work how does it happen

and you'll get more instruction in that

as time goes by with the dhamma talks

so it doesn't matter how many times your

mind gets distracted

what matters is that you

recognize it

release it

relax

re-smile

and return to your object to meditation

and repeat that as often as it needs to

be done

for the first 10 minutes of every

sitting

you spend

sending loving and kind thoughts to

yourself

after 10 minutes then you start to send

loving and kind thoughts to a spiritual

friend

a spiritual friend is someone of the

same sex

and they are alive

a spiritual friend is someone that when

you

think of them and their good qualities

you really respect them you like them

you really honestly

sincerely

wish them well

the more sincere you are the easier the

meditation becomes

the more interest you take in wishing

your friend well

the easier the meditation becomes

so you're sitting and you're wishing

yourself happiness

may my mind be peaceful and calm

as i feel this happiness i wish this for

you

may you be peaceful and calm

take your spiritual friend put them

right in the middle of your heart that

glowing feeling

with the wish

and surround them with that feeling give

them a big heart hug

while you're sitting please don't move

your body

don't rock

don't shift back and forth

don't scratch

don't rub

don't change your posture

sit

and you can move as much as he does

sit still now while you're doing this

there are going to be some sensations

that are going to rise in your body

feel an itch feel heat feel vibration

feel a pain

don't

move

sit very still and watch how mind's

attention goes to that the first thing

you'll notice when a pain arises is your

mind goes

to that sensation let's say it's your

knee

the next thing you'll notice is your

mind is starting to think about it

i wish it would not bother me now i wish

it would go away why does it have to

interfere with my meditation

every thought about the pain causes the

pain to get bigger and more intense

so the first thing you do

relax

but let go of the thoughts

relax the tightness in your mind

and then you will notice that there is a

tight mental fist wrapped around that

sensation

that tight mental fist

is aversion you don't like it there you

don't want it there you want it to be go

away

but that aversion is there

now the truth

of the present moment

be ready for this one

when pain arises it's there

okay

that's the truth when it's there it's

there and it's okay for it to be there

it has to be okay

because that's the truth it's there

so what you do is

let go of that tight mental fist and let

that sensation be there by itself

don't try to change it

don't try to control it

don't try to make it be something other

than it is

anytime you do that you're fighting with

the truth

anytime you fight with the truth

you are fighting

and causing yourself

suffering

it's that simple

and you're causing that suffering

to yourself

i love her

what more can i say

your job is to allow the present moment

to be there without

any

control

just let it be there it's okay

but don't keep your attention on it

now you've recognized that you're that

your attention is there

you let it be there

you relax

you smile

you come back to your object a minute

whoops there it is again

now

let go of the thoughts

relax

let go of that tight mental fist

relax

let it be

smile

come back to your object to meditation

it doesn't matter how many times your

mind gets distracted

your mindfulness is like putting coins

in a piggy bank

every time your mind gets distracted you

notice it you come back to your object

to meditation it's like putting a coin

in the bank

eventually that bank gets full

but it doesn't happen right away

so the more times you can

allow

things to be the way they are

and relax into them

and smile and come back to your

spiritual friend

the sharper your mindfulness becomes

you'll start to stay with your spiritual

friend for a longer period of time the

distraction

when it comes and they will there will

be distractions i promise

the distraction will start to

be shorter

as your mindfulness improves

again this is a smiling meditation

that means i want you all to be smiling

right now

okay

keep that smile going

how does your mind feel when you're

smiling

oh isn't that nice

so the more you can have that kind of

mind the faster your progress becomes

one of the reasons that i like to teach

this kind of meditation in particular is

because the buddha said

that with this meditation your progress

is faster than it is with any other kind

of meditation

i don't care what kind of meditation

you've done in the past

let it go

don't mix and match

because that'll slow down your progress

you have to develop the beginner's mind

you don't know what's going to happen

next stop projecting it

don't get caught in thinking that you

know what's going to happen next because

you don't

i mean this roof can fall in right now

who knows

let go of all your past experience with

meditation oh this i felt this one

before i know what this is all about you

don't

because this particular meditation

is different than anything else you've

ever done

why

because you're learning how to let go of

craving

there's very few of us in the world

that teach

letting go of craving

you will be able to recognize it always

as tension and tightness in your head in

your mind

now sometimes

you get the feeling going real good and

everything is going along and all of a

sudden the feeling goes away

and then you start trying harder

and then you have some restlessness

arise

and then you try harder

and then the restlessness really gets a

hold of you does this sound familiar

and what you have to do is instead of

trying harder to make your mind get back

to where it was

was stop trying so hard

and learn to develop a sense of humor

about how crazy your mind is with trying

because it is

welcome to the human race we're all

crazy

and it's okay to be crazy

all we have to do is learn from our

mistake

and the mistake is

trying to get this present moment

to be like

that past moment

was

now if that's not funny i don't know

what is

now it really sounds odd

to hear this statement

meditation is supposed to be fun

how many times has anybody told you that

it is fun

when you have a sense of fun about your

practice and how crazy your mind can be

that helps to balance your mind

so that you're not caught anymore

okay

now the thing that's real important

is that when you can laugh

with yourself

about getting caught again

that laughter

changes your perspective

okay

you go from

i don't like this i don't want it to be

this way

it's only this

that's what laughter does

make this meditation fun

enjoy there's nothing wrong with

enjoying

i know

i had 20 years of experience that

everything is suffering

okay

i know that game

and it's a dead end street

it doesn't work if you're gonna dwell on

suffering

that means that you're gonna suffer more

and that's okay you want to do that to

yourself that's up to you but

i kind of like having fun more

any time your mind gets serious

guess who has an attachment

okay

you get serious about this person said

that and i don't like that and now

you're all caught up

in taking every thought that you have

personally

every time you take something personally

you are causing yourself

suffering

you can't blame somebody else

because you're doing it to yourself

the whole point of the buddha's teaching

is to recognize when you have an

attachment

let go of the attachment and relax

bring up something wholesome

smile

come back to your object of meditation

keep that object of meditation going

that's right effort

that's the six r's

they're exactly the same

right effort will take you all the way

to nibana

and you can't get to nibana

when you have attachments

this is the way it works

now you sit no

less than 30 minutes

oh bingo good one

that's that's not a problem we have a

dog that does the same thing

oh he's that big

anyway

sit no less than 30 minutes when your

sitting is good don't break it

sit longer as long as you're comfortable

when it's time to break your sitting

that doesn't mean you stop your

meditation

it just means you change your posture so

you stay with your spiritual friend

wishing them well

and you get up and you go outside

and you do your walking meditation

walking meditation is walking at a

normal pace not a slow pace

at a normal pace just like you walk in

your daily life

this is a dream

remember this

stay with your spiritual friend

now when you're walking

pick a spot that's so 30 or 40 or 50

feet whatever you're comfortable with

and just walk back and forth

okay

and

stay with your spiritual friend as much

as you can remember the walking is going

to be somewhat difficult at first

because you're not used to that

you're used to walking around thinking

about this thinking about that

getting caught up in all that nonsense

stuff

and it's hard to stay with your

spiritual friend but that's okay

as soon as you recognize that you're

thinking about something else you do the

same thing as you do in the sitting

you let it go you relax you smile you

come back to your spiritual friend

it doesn't matter how many times your

mind gets distracted now when you're

doing your walking it's best not to be

looking around

because you look around that's where

your mind goes and all of a sudden

you're a thousand miles away from here

so just keep your eyes down

gently down

not making a big deal out of it

and you'll you'll notice that you're

able to stay with your spiritual friend

a little bit easier when you do that

10 or 12 feet in front of you is fine

now when you're doing your sitting

meditation and you're radiating loving

kindness to your spiritual friend

you want to see your spiritual friend in

your mind's eye

now for some people

it's very easy to

visualize you can see their face and you

can see them doing all kinds of things

it doesn't matter

for other people visualization is very

difficult

you can visualize with your

thoughts about them

okay you don't have to necessarily see

them in your mind's eye but you know

that they're

happy you see them in your mind as being

happy

whether you visualize that happiness

or not doesn't really matter

now you want about 75 of your attention

on this feeling this radiating feeling

from your chest

you want about 20 of your attention

on the making of the wish and putting

that wish that feeling of the wish into

your heart

now a lot of people and about five

percent of your attention on visualizing

so the visualizing isn't

that

doesn't take that much attention don't

try real hard

now the thing with

visualizing sometimes it's cloudy

sometimes it's fuzzy sometimes it's like

it's a long ways away that doesn't

matter

don't put your attention so much on

the visualizing

it's more this is a feeling meditation

so you want to feel

that radiating glowing

feeling and that will start to grow by

itself and get bigger and bigger

but you always take your friend and put

them in the middle of your heart

in your mind see them smiling see them

happy

and that can help remind you

to smile

now there's

more to smiling than just pasting

something on your face

you want to smile with your mind keep

your mind light don't try

have fun that keeps your mind light

you want to smile with your eyes even

when your eyes are closed

you'd be surprised how much tension is

in your face

when you smile with your eyes that all

dissipates

a little buddha smile on your lips

and a smile in your heart

so there's more to smiling than just

the corners of your mouth

a lot of people will ask me is it all

right

to change the wish

yes of course it is whatever you feel is

appropriate

there are people that come to me and

they say oh i have this friend that's

really getting confused and going

through all kinds of problems can you

radiate some loving kindness to them

okay

i do that

and what i wish for them

is a clear

uplifted mind

do you know what it feels like to have a

clear mind

do you know what it feels like to have

an uplifted mind put that feeling in

your heart put that person right in the

middle of that

this is important you have to feel the

wish

you can't give something to somebody

else

that you don't have yourself

so you feel that wish if it's for

happiness or joy

cheerfulness

accepting mind

clear mind

it's all up to you

stay with the same wish for a little

while

but don't make that wish over and over

may you be happy may you be happy may

you be happy may you be happy

make the wish one time

feel that wish stay with that feeling

and radiate that feeling to your friend

then your mind gets distracted you use

the six hours

do this whole process again

so when you come back

from your walking don't walk anymore any

less than 15 minutes walking at a normal

speed

that helps get the circulation going

and

that will help you later

on but you stay with your spiritual

friend

one of the things that will happen

especially the first day

you will

start to get some sloth and torpor

sleepiness

how does sleepiness arise

sleepiness arises because you're with

your spiritual friend

and then you start thinking little tiny

thoughts

they're just ho-hum thoughts they're not

much about anything

and then they get a little bit bigger

and then you start to get into a dreamy

state

and then your posture starts to slump

and before long your head is bobbing

and the mistake that everybody makes

is they notice they're doing that

they sit up really straight and say i'm

really not going to do that again and

then they do it again

okay

the reason that sloth and torpor comes

up in the first place is because

you're not taking enough interest in

the feeling of loving kindness and

sending that to your spiritual friend

you're just kind of

humming it

so you need to have more interest

in what you're doing while you're doing

it that's the way you develop your

mindfulness

i'm not going to say if i'm going to say

when you get caught with sloth and

torpor

then what you want to do

is you're supposed to sit with your back

nicely straight

but when you get sloth and torpor

straighten it a little bit more so it's

almost uncomfortable

and then you'll you'll have those little

tiny thoughts and get dreamy and your

back starts to slump you'll be able to

recognize it more easily

and then you can straighten your back up

and come back to your object of

meditation

now we're not in and we're not

worrying about the content of the

thoughts

we're wanting to see

how

that happens

right

the whole point of meditation is

your mind is on your object to

meditation and it goes over here and

thinks about this or that

how did that happen

not why did it happen we don't care

about why

why is for psychologists they can worry

about that

but how did that happen

your mind was here and now it's there

there's a process

that you have to be able to recognize

what happened first

what happened after that what happened

after that what happened after that

the more you take an interest in how

your mind

becomes distracted

the easier it will be to recognize this

process

and catch it a little bit quicker and

relax and smile and come back

this is very important

how does this work

as you're able to recognize how this

works

you start seeing

how attachment works

and what is attachment

always

attachment is

i am that

i am that thought i am that feeling i am

that sensation

this is me

craving always manifests as the i like

i don't like it mine

it happens automatically

a pleasant feeling arises oh i like that

one that's what your mind does

a painful feeling arises oh i don't like

that one

it's the i like it i don't like it mine

that's the thing that causes

the meninges that that membrane that

goes around your brain to contract a

little bit

that's how you can recognize it

the more you recognize the tension and

tightness

and relax

and

smile and come back to your object to

meditation the easier things become

and the faster you learn

how your mind works

you

teach

yourself

by your own experience

i don't teach you

i give suggestions you can use them or

not

see if it works if it doesn't don't use

it's your choice

one thing you don't want to do

is recognize when there's some kind of

painful thing and then you start

releasing relaxing releasing relaxing

and you come and complain to me this

doesn't work no

it works

you got to do it right

that's the problem

you don't just release and relax and

release and relax and expect

that painful thing to go away

you release you relax you re-smile you

come back to your object to meditation

every time

that's your home base

always go home

don't stop diddling around with release

relax and not go home

because you're not improving your

mindfulness when you do that

you start putting in too much energy and

too much effort and you cause yourself

all kinds of problems

these instructions are very precise

they are very exact

don't add anything

don't subtract anything

this is the buddha's teaching it's not

my teaching

the buddha

was

one of the most magnificent beings ever

because he figured all his stuff out all

by himself

it's amazing

and the reason that his teaching is

still around today is because

it works

that's the truth

you have to let go of all your past

experiences with doing the meditation

you have to let go of

your thinking that maybe if i do this

i'll be able to

have this other thing happen no you have

to let all that go

it's simple

just practice the six hours

just smile

have fun

relax

simple

not easy

because it depends on your old habits

because the old habits are going to crop

up once in a while

but as you start to recognize how these

things work

and how you cause yourself suffering

then it starts to dawn on you i don't

need to do that why am i doing that to

myself

no need

let it go

keep it

simple

don't add anything

okay

now they talk to you about the schedule

and all of that sort of thing

it is good

to be

especially in the morning five minutes

early

okay

it is good

because we're not going to start

doing the morning service until

everybody is here

so you don't want to be the last one in

okay

keep warm

especially in the evenings

drink lots of water we didn't say that

to you

you need to drink quite a bit of water

because in the daytime

you dehydrate you don't know it

and that will affect your meditation

negatively

so make sure you have enough

fluids coming in

when you're taking a shower

five minutes

that's it

don't use any more water than that

and actually

turn the water on get your body

wet turn the water off

soak down rinse a lot rinse it off get

out

that's the way we have to do it because

water is very precious here

i can't think of anything else right off

yes

i have a question yes he said that

to send that loving feeling to

a friend of the same sex

well can you send it to someone from the

offices as well no

it will if your mind will start to have

lust arise

and what happens

is you get infatuated with that person

and you start thinking about all kinds

of things about them and how you're

gonna be when you get off retreat and it

drives you crazy

don't do that

but wonder if you're gay

then i'll change the meditation to

another meditation

loving kindness is not for everyone

well if you're gay they'll then don't

want you to choose one of the opposition

no it would be something else because

what happens is the other person will

respond

you may not but you'll trigger it off in

the other person

it can cause problems it's loving

kindness is not for every kind of

personality

if you're gay

then i will give you the breathing

meditation

because that doesn't matter

and the instructions are pretty much the

same

so i need to know that

when you come to the first interview

there's no

i don't care whether you are or not

doesn't matter but for your

spiritual progress i need to know so

that we can adjust so that everything

will work out very nicely for you i was

thinking like a wife or a child no not

right now

you have to understand this is a

training period

when you get to a certain degree of

skill

then i will change it and you can do

your wife and your kids and

other things but there has to be some

equanimity in there

now i

didn't i told you to

not

the person has to be alive and they have

to be the same sex

also not a member of your family

if you do it with a member of your

family

a member of your family has a tendency

to do some things that you don't like

and guess what comes up in your mind

yeah

so you pick somebody that's a little bit

further away than that someone that you

respect very much you can pick a monk

you can pick a good friend whatever it's

up to you

or a nun

is there any