Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.


welcome this is a guided loving-kindness

or meant to meditation instruction for

more information you can go to Dhamma

sukha dot org and read more about it

first find a comfortable position you

can sit on a cushion or sit in the chair

there is no magic to the floor we want

you to be comfortable there shouldn't be

any discomfort that's from your body the

mind will have enough to keep you busy


whatever is comfortable


take a deep breath

let it out


take a minute or two to just be here

here in the present


this meditation is about observation and

not trying simply being and allowing


notice you are breathing


notice the feelings happening in the

body notice the feeling of sitting how

is your mind is it sleepy or is it awake

and full of energy are you feeling

restless or calm relaxed and slow down

settle into the chair into the cushion

relax your whole body everything that

comes into your awareness simply release

it and relax and come back to the


don't pay any particular attention to

anything this will turn in to later what

we call the six arse

see how your mind is becoming spacious

you notice the entire room and

everything going on around you you relax

and be with it

everything is okay you feel some

gratitude for being allowed to sit

quietly with nothing to do

you're thankful for having some time for

yourself so let's get started with our

meta our loving-kindness meditation or

what we call from the sutas the practice

of the brahma vihara


when you practice loving-kindness

meditation you first start by sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself you

were a member a time when you were happy

when that happy feeling arises smile

it's a warm glowing feeling in the

center of your chest the feeling is like

holding a baby and looking into its eyes

you feel this radiant loving-kindness in

your heart or perhaps a a puppy or a

kitten whatever brought you this feeling

of kindness of warmth you let it be

there we didn't try you just allowed

feel that happy feeling now a really

helpful technique is to smile put a

little smile on your lips just a little

a Buddhist smile smile from your heart

and smile from your mind

smiling can pull you out of negative

states and thinking so smile during your

whole sitting always come back to a

feeling of happiness with a smile

now take this happy feeling and radiate

it to yourself help it along with some


like may I be happy


may I be content may I be peaceful

don't just say these phrases like a

mantra you need to feel them and only

use phrases as reminders of that warm

beautiful feeling phrases are not the

object they're only to nudge along this

beautiful feeling this feeling of


now sit with your back reasonably

straight not too tight

don't move your body at all don't wiggle

your toes don't wiggle your fingers

don't scratch they'll rub don't change

your posture don't rock back and forth

sit very still like a Buddha statue and

remember on every Buddha statue the

Buddha is smiling the little smile smile

of equanimity of happiness

when you don't move it's like getting

water to freeze you can observe the

water but you can't push it or move it

you have to let it be there freezing by

itself relax into any tension and

tightness that makes you want to move


smile you have this time for yourself be

content put everything else aside tell

your mind you'll think about all these

things later that might come up don't

worry they'll come up if they need to

may I be happy

may I be content

yeah I smile and be peaceful

yeah I have gratitude for everything

that I have

as soon as that warm loving feeling

arises make a wish for your own

happiness may I be free from suffering

may my mind be uplifted may my mind be

peaceful and calm

may my mind be open and accepting

may I have happiness may I have joy

are you smiling put that little smile on

your lips and feel that smile radiating

throughout your body may I be content

whatever wish you make for yourself feel

that's sincere wish you know what it

feels like to be peaceful and calm bring

that feeling into your heart

radiate that feeling to yourself wish

for yourself to be happy whatever wish

you verbalize make it with a smile feel

that wish you can make the same wish

again as long as it has sincere meaning

for you or you can change the wish

occasionally may I be happy may my whole

body be completely relaxed

now when you're sitting your mind is

going to wander and think about other

things as soon as you notice mind is

thinking about other things simply let

go of those thoughts even if you're in

mid-sentence just let it go and relax

smile and come back to this feeling of

loving-kindness relax any tension and

tightness in your mind caused by the

thoughts thoughts of desire thoughts of

the future thoughts of the past lots of

things you want to do in the present I

want I don't want I I relax and smile

release these thoughts come back to the

feeling of loving-kindness and make a

wish for your own happiness with another

smile it doesn't matter if your mind

wanders fifty times during a sitting and

fifty times you see that you let it go

you relax you come back with a smile to

your meditation object that is a good

sitting a bad sitting would be if you

stopped smiling when you notice that

you're thinking and you continue

thinking about it and you don't let it

go that's having no awareness and no


while you're sitting there can be

sensations that arise in your body you

might want to COFF or there's an itch

heat vibration or just some painful

feeling doesn't matter as soon as that

arises your mind will be drawn to it

you'll start to think about that

sensation I wish it would stop I really

don't like this feeling when it happens

I wish it would just go away every

thought like that makes the feeling

become bigger and more intense allow

them relax into them if you do need to

COFF you simply allow that to happen and

continue on if you need to swallow go

ahead just don't move your body and


the very first thing you do is to let go

of a thought about the sensation release

your attention from it just stop

thinking about it

that's release

relax the tension or tightness in your

mind in your head that's the next thing

so you just release you stop thinking

about it and then you relax that desire

that pulls you to the thought makes you

want to go to the store and whatever it

is now you may notice there's still a

tight mental fist wrapped around that

sensation because you really don't like

that sensation and you really want it to

go away the truth is when a sensation

arises it's there that's the truth you

can't change it you can't wish for it to

be something something else it is just

what it is so we be mindful we be in the

present everything is okay and it's okay

for that sensation to be there it has to

be okay because it's there anytime you

try to fight with the truth anytime you

try to control the truth anytime you try

to make the truth be anything other than

it is that is the cause of suffering

wanting to change things wanting things

to be something other than they are

something that you have to do in the


you have to make something better no

everything is okay right now again allow

that sensation to be there make it okay

for it to be there relax

gently come back to the feeling of being

happy and making a wish for your own

happiness while you're doing this

meditation remember this is a smiling

meditation remember you want to put a

smile in your mind and even though your

eyes are closed

put a little smile in your eyes put a

smile on your lips a little one and a

smile in your heart radiates that smile

from your heart whenever you notice that

you're not smiling start again gently

don't push don't control just everything

let it be you have all the time in the

world after about ten minutes now we can

start sending loving and kind thoughts

to a spiritual friend one spiritual

friend and the beginning of your

training the objective of this one

spiritual friend is described in this

way a spiritual friend is someone of the

same sex they are not a family member

and they are alive


a spiritual friend is someone who when

you think of them and their good

qualities you really like them you

respect them and you will sincerely wish

them happiness once you pick your friend

don't change the friend to someone else

stay with just this one friend for some

time and you are told that it's okay to

change now this friend can be a friend

of yours it could be your teacher it can

be somebody who you know very well and

you like them and you respect them

somebody that you can feel

loving-kindness for and you don't have

other thoughts that interfere now we're

trying to get the mind to stay with just

one object in the beginning later when

there are signs of progress in your

meditation we'll add more people and

other methods but not just yet

now you make a wish for your spiritual

friends happiness just like you did for

yourself make a wish for his or her

happiness may you be free from suffering

may your mind be uplifted

may your mind be peaceful and calm


smile at your friend hold them in your

heart may your mind be open and

accepting and you have happiness just as

I do then you have joy

whatever wish you want to make for your

friend feel that wish take your

spiritual friend and put them right in

the middle of your heart smile and give

them a great big heart hug wish your

friend well feel that wish take a real

interest in your friend really like them

now you don't have to visualize

perfectly your friend all you have to do

is know they're there you are just

hanging out with your friend wrapping

them up in good kind thoughts

if the feeling slips a little smile more

and move back to sending it to yourself

to build it up again then come back to

your friend and keep it going with

another smile we only use one spiritual

friend to begin our training because the

mind may want to distract itself because

it says oh another spiritual friend is

good let me go there but that's actually

the mind distracting itself and not

being able to stay with one object later

you'll use other people and other groups

of people

so continue with your spiritual friend

wrap him or her up in your heart hold


remember that puppy you remember that


bring your loving-kindness to them just

like you did before


if your mind wanders remember to release

the thought relax the tension pulley new

Reese Mile return to your object your

feeling of loving kindness for your

friend and repeat these are the six ARS

these remind you of what to do when your

mind wanders

we don't jerk our mind back because if

we do that our line will just keep doing

it again and again we only observe when

it is wandered we allow it and then we

just relax we don't try to control but

we see the tension and tightness we go

ok that's ok and it fades

and then we smile and come back this is

different than many other methods and

it's much more effective may my friend

be happy

may they be free from suffering

may they be happy

maybe they feel the kindness in my heart

may they be at peace in the present


and everything beat well in their lives

and they feel gratitude for what they


may they be free of anger

hey their mind and their heart be cool

keep them in your heart

give them a heart hug

wrap them up in happiness

may we both be happy may we both be

loving and kind

they are mines be peaceful and quiet

may our minds be relaxed and still

and my friend get everything that they


especially contentment and happiness

may their health be

free of issues

either health be perfect and radiant

may they be happy

may they be content

now this is a feeling meditation

notice this feeling of loving-kindness

and again don't put too much attention

on what they look like but what the

feeling that you feel feels like

can be subtle it can be strong it can be

weak it doesn't matter just stay with

this feeling this warm glowing feeling

don't hold on to it just observe it that

it be there and when your mind wanders

notice how it does that investigate what

happened first what happens second

and smile again and come back to your


may all beings be happy and content

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