Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

these are the brief forgiveness

instructions as taught by Ponte ml rmz

based on the book guide to forgiveness

meditation this meditation is truly an

act of compassion and generosity toward

yourself and others it is an act of

kindness so let's set aside a minimum of

30 minutes each time you practice and

please don't move during that time so

let's find a comfortable sitting

position and promise yourself you won't

change your posture during this time

enter into a sense of quiet a being

right here right now now this is a

forgiveness meditation

let's begin by repeating the phrase I

forgive myself for not understanding

put a sincere wish for forgiveness in

your heart and stay with that intention

I forgive myself for not understanding

for not understanding what whatever

comes up whatever is disturbed you

whatever arises I forgive it all

gently smile as you do this just put a

little Buddhist smile on your face this

will keep your mind light and it will

let you know on unwholesome states have


I forgive myself for not understanding

sincerely wish forgiveness to yourself

the intention to forgive yourself is

your object of meditation in this phrase

not understanding it means that in the

past you acted negatively in some

situation before you knew what was

really going on

maybe you got angry or someone else

caused you pain and they didn't

understand this either you reacted and

then afterward you felt sorry they've

all acted without understanding at some

time in life and this created guilt and

remorse in our lives it is essential

that the phrase sinks in you give it

time to work and not change it before

has had a chance to bring up a situation

in your mind or someone from a past

event if nothing comes up with this

phrase you could try another one like I

forgive myself for causing myself and

others pain now don't use phrases that

put yourself down negative phrases don't

work you're removing any trapped

negativity bit by bit with this practice

I forgive myself for causing myself and

others pain let's contemplate that for a


now when any hard feeling or painful

experience comes up in your mind after

saying the phrase you forgive that

relaxed smile and keep going for example

you might have a thought of something

like I don't deserve to be happy or I

don't like myself because whatever

if a thought like that tries to stop

your intention to forgive you

immediately forgive yourself and soften

into that thought forgive yourself for

having those hard thoughts you deserve

to be happy please don't put yourself


you're sitting here trying to change and

that's a good thing and you deserve

forgiveness for everything from the past

you deserve to be forgiven it's okay

I forgive myself for causing myself and

others pain

I forgive myself for not understanding

keep this intention of forgiveness going

and if something arises forgive it I

forgive you for arising soften into it

relax any tension and tightness come

back to a smile forgive yourself again

be sincere and keep up your intention to

forgive let it flow with everything that

arises forgive any stories and hard

feelings that come up forgive anything

that arises that tries to stop your

intention to forgive your objective is

to keep your forgiveness going until you

feel there is nothing more to forgive

but this will take some time

don't push it don't think there's

nothing that will come up just be


and bring that intention to forgive back

to your meditation

now this is where we use some simple

steps to let go of anything that tries

to stop the act of forgiveness we call

these steps the six R's they go like

this recognize any thought that tries to

stop your intention to forgive release

mind's attention to that thought just

stop thinking about it take your foot

off the gas don't give it any more

attention or energy it'll start to stop

on its own now relax any tightness

pulling you to think about this thought

and especially any tightness is in your

head this is where they exists the

craving exists in your head in the

thoughts themselves relax these

tightness and tensions

soften into them then Reese Miele and

put that little Buddha smile back on

your lips then return to your intention

to forgive yourself keep forgiving and

going as long as you can any distraction

tries to stop you again repeat these six

R's recognize there it's come up release

relax we smile return to forgiveness and

repeat if you get off track again now as

you continue forgiving yourself memories

of past events will come up with someone

other than yourself who needs your

forgiveness your intention should shift

now to forgive someone else you repeat

the same phrase you used for yourself

directly to them I forgive you for not

understanding you might not even know

what it is but just forgive them for not

understanding people will come up

forgive them work with them for a little

while switch your attention to them as

you do this don't get involved in these

story about what happened in your mind

just look them in the eye and forgive

them stay with them for a while and let

the wish' for forgiveness take hold this

time if you get distracted you know what

to do six are recognized release relax

Reece Mile return and repeat keep

working with the same phrase you used

for yourself until that phrase has no

more energy only then change your phrase

and begin again your phrases might be

about forgiving yourself for holding

grudges or for holding bad thoughts

about someone just keep your thoughts

aimed at positive change I forgive

myself for not understanding I forgive

you for not understanding

while forgiving you might have a thought

that comes up like I am just not gonna

forgive this person because they're just

plain mean it just isn't going to happen

you just can't forgive them six are that

feeling and then keep on going with your

objective soften and release into that

thought relax

Andrey smile as you return to forgiving

of course you're going to forgive them

you'll forgive everyone including

yourself now remember that having a sad

feeling is okay and if tears begin to

fall this is just fine tears take

pressure off your heart and mind it's a

good thing so don't be tough on yourself

just let those tears come get some

tissues get a towel let them flow let

them out don't keep them bottled up your

objective is to keep your forgiveness

going and completely forgive yourself

and others then the attachment to those

memories will just fade away

you'll still remember them but it won't

be loaded with all this negative energy

it's not unusual in this meditation for

the person you are working with to smile

back at you and forgive you as well this

is the potential for the third part of

this practice some wonderful relief can

arise when this naturally happens and

that can mean that you're done with that

person but be very careful that you

don't ask them to forgive you because

this is all about pure compassion and


your job is just to provide the right

conditions for you to receive and accept

forgiveness from them when they're ready

and this can really happen if we ask for

forgiveness it means we're trying to

control the outcome so let this go when

they will forgive you they will forgive

you and let it happens when it happens

if that person comes back again in

another session later that's okay

you treat them the same way again by

this time the forgiveness will go faster

and more easily gradually they won't

come up anymore now that person is gone

so you go back and quietly say the same

phrase again and forgive yourself until

you see someone else coming up and you

forgive them in the same way I forgive

myself for not understanding I forgive

you for not understanding I forgive

myself for having caused pain and

suffering to another person I forgive

you for having caused me pain and


continue with this intention to forgive

continue and forgive things as they come


now as the sitting draws to a close what

is useful is to go and do some walking

forgiveness meditation when you stop

sitting you can take a walk and in your

mind as you walk keep on saying I

forgive you and you forgive me I forgive

you and you forgive me kind of do this

in a cadence as you walk this process

keeps drumming into your brain that you

want to stop holding on to pass painful

memories you'd like them to come up so

you can forgive them you want to be

kinder and forgiving of everything in

the future so walk and forgive make it a

nice gentle stroll don't look around

just stay with this object of meditation

to forget when a phrase goes dry it's

done you choose a different phrase and

start again in the beginning it might

take a little time for your brain to

trust that you really want to do all

this there can be periods of resistance

where nothing comes up in the beginning

be patient and continue on it'll take

more than a sitting it might take more

than a week we don't know how long it'll

take now when you're not sitting or

walking you make a commitment to forgive

whatever is going on in your life bring

forgiveness into your workplace take it

into your home

practice it with your friends if they

say something that disturbs you forgive

them right there don't get defensive

simply hear how they say it and hear

your reaction and soften recognize

release relax we smile return to

forgiving make it a habit to forgive and

to soften in this way you continue

letting go of all of this pain and you

finally become free from the heaviness

of the past thank you for listening