From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=bePv-F-c23I

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

hello

this is bhante vimala ramsay and i

wanted to talk to you

about forgiveness meditation

one of the things that can happen when

you're trying to do

loving kindness meditation

is that you don't feel

that warm feeling in the center of your

chest and you can become

frustrated because of that

anytime that happens what that means

is that you have some old hard

experiences wrapped around your heart

and it stops you from feeling that

loving feeling coming

out of your heart when that happens

now it's time to do forgiveness

meditation

the way you start doing the forgiveness

meditation

is start with yourself

and you say to yourself i forgive

myself for not understanding

now a lot of people say understanding

what

understanding how you caused yourself

pain

or how you caused other people pain you

forgive yourself for not understanding

every time you you

say this to yourself then

as soon as you get done relax

relax the tightness in your head in your

mind

now any time you have

a distraction that thought that comes up

at first your mind is going to say i

don't want to do this

that's a waste of time

then forgive yourself for having that

thought

relax and come back and say it again

and you keep with that

you keep with forgiving yourself for

making mistakes

forgiving yourself for not understanding

after a period of time there

is going to be a memory that comes up

and there's going to be some people that

are in that memory

and you start forgiving them for not

understanding forgive

them for making a mistake or causing you

pain

and you stay with that person

as long as you possibly can

until you feel relief

if tears come don't

stop tears

let the tears come i know for men

that's a hard thing and that's

unfortunate

because we need to let go of the pain

of that memory

[Music]

when you let go of that pain you will

feel

relief it's like somebody took a heavy

rock and

moved it off your shoulder

then you come back to yourself

i forgive myself for not understanding

i forgive myself for making a mistake

i forgive myself for causing

some someone else pain or causing

myself pain

now every time your mind gets distracted

i don't care if it's a feeling if it's a

sadness if it's boredom

if it's anger if it's disliked it

doesn't matter

what it is you need to forgive it

and bring up that person that you're

having the trouble with

forgive them for not understanding

because they didn't understand they

didn't know that they were causing this

problem

they got caught up in their own emotions

so you forgive them for having

an unwholesome emotion

always after you forgive them relax

that tension and tightness in your head

in your mind

and then say that again

this is a repeating exercise

that helps you to let go of

your pain and suffering

and when you finally do let that go you

have to say it over and over again many

times

and when you finally do let that go

all of that pain that you've experienced

in the past will disappear

and you will feel extreme

uplift and happy and relief

but then come back again because there

might be something else

that you need to forgive

or forgive someone else

now this is a healing technique

and it really does work

but anytime you allow your mind just to

get

carried away with the story

or trying to figure out what you could

have done

different forgive yourself for doing

that

and relax and come back and forgive

again

anything that pulls your attention away

from forgiving

forgive yourself for allowing that to

happen

and relax and repeat it again

the more you repeat it

the easier it is to convince yourself

that you really do forgive them

you have to tell yourself that a lot

because

you've spent an awful lot of time

going back over that memory and not

liking it

so it's gonna it takes a while to

honestly sincerely forgive yourself

for causing the pain to yourself or

someone else

there can be times that there's memories

that come up that are not necessarily

from this lifetime

i've had students that they they

reminded they

remembered a situation

where they were fighting with swords

and they killed someone

and then they turned around get back

into the war

and somebody killed them and stabbed

them in the liver

now in his lifetime he's roughly 40

years old

he's had a bad liver and he's had a lot

of pain

because of it so he asked me

what do you do so i said okay

you go to that person in your mind

that you killed and you ask them to

forgive you

for causing that pain

and when you forgive in them then you go

to the person that killed you and

forgive them

for doing it as soon as he did that

the pain in his liver went away and he

hasn't had any

problem with it since

so this can be a healing

technique that works very well

and say you have a family member that

you

don't get along with so well forgive

them

for not understanding and when you

honestly forgive them that gives them

the space

to change and

they will become much more agreeable

to you and your ideas

i had a lady that her

her ex-husband and son

they wouldn't talk to her for years

until she started doing forgiveness

and when she forgave herself she forgave

their family member all of a sudden they

started

talking and just last year

they were going to be traveling together

and going to france

and being a family again without the

attachments

so forgiveness is a very very

powerful meditation but you have to have

patience okay

now another thing that you want to do

is keep the forgiveness with you all the

time

when somebody is talking to you

and they're not being very nice about it

forgive them and

right then don't pay attention to what

they're saying because that's nonsense

but you also want to be able to forgive

while you're walking

your right foot i your left foot

forgive right foot you

you forgive me

i forgive you you

forgive me that's keeping forgiveness in

your mind

all the time

and it makes the sitting

a little bit easier that you can forgive

and you get more equanimity in your mind

when you finally start forgiving

the relative or person whoever caused

the pain

when you get done doing that

then you start practicing loving

kindness

your heart is going to be very open

and it's going to be so easy to radiate

loving kindness

and there might be something other

that that happened in the past that you

didn't remember

well you do the loving kindness if you

have something you need to forgive

then forgive it then that

is part of loving-kindness meditation

so the more you can

accept what has happened in the past the

more

you can allow that to be there

without getting caught in aversion

dislike

dissatisfaction

the lighter your mind becomes the more

joy you have

and other people will start

liking you even more especially the ones

that you have problem with

they will be changing and they will be

more loving and kind to you as you're

more forgiving towards the past

situation

can you talk about how long how long the

sittings in the water

okay when you're doing the sitting

meditation

i would say between 45 minutes and an

hour

you don't need to do it any more than

that although

when you get up and start moving and

doing other things you can keep

forgiving if you want

it just won't be as deep

and the walking if you're doing it as

a part of a meditation um

a half an hour 45 minutes

i've had some people that they just

wanted to walk and they could do the

forgiveness so easily

that they did it for longer periods of

time that's up to you

it doesn't really matter

but

keep it in your mind as much as you

possibly can

somebody says something that's nasty you

don't

fight back you don't get angry with them

you forgive them right then

they don't understand that they're

causing pain to other people and to

themself

so you have to be able to forgive them

right

that's what buddhism is about

learning to lovingly accept what arises

in the present

hello

this is bhante vimala ramsay and i

wanted to talk to you

about forgiveness meditation

one of the things that can happen when

you're trying to do

loving kindness meditation

is that you don't feel

that warm feeling in the center of your

chest and you can become

frustrated because of that

anytime that happens what that means

is that you have some old hard

experiences wrapped around your heart

and it stops you from feeling that

loving feeling coming

out of your heart when that happens

now it's time to do forgiveness

meditation

the way you start doing the forgiveness

meditation

is start with yourself

and you say to yourself i forgive

myself for not understanding

now a lot of people say understanding

what

understanding how you caused yourself

pain

or how you caused other people pain you

forgive yourself for not understanding

every time you you

say this to yourself then

as soon as you get done relax

relax the tightness in your head in your

mind

now any time you have

a distraction that thought that comes up

at first your mind is going to say i

don't want to do this

that's a waste of time

then forgive yourself for having that

thought

relax and come back and say it again

and you keep with that

you keep with forgiving yourself for

making mistakes

forgiving yourself for not understanding

after a period of time there

is going to be a memory that comes up

and there's going to be some people that

are in that memory

and you start forgiving them for not

understanding forgive

them for making a mistake or causing you

pain

and you stay with that person

as long as you possibly can

until you feel relief

if tears come don't

stop tears

let the tears come i know for men

that's a hard thing and that's

unfortunate

because we need to let go of the pain

of that memory

[Music]

when you let go of that pain you will

feel

relief it's like somebody took a heavy

rock and

moved it off your shoulder

then you come back to yourself

i forgive myself for not understanding

i forgive myself for making a mistake

i forgive myself for causing

some someone else pain or causing

myself pain

now every time your mind gets distracted

i don't care if it's a feeling if it's a

sadness if it's boredom

if it's anger if it's disliked it

doesn't matter

what it is you need to forgive it

and bring up that person that you're

having the trouble with

forgive them for not understanding

because they didn't understand they

didn't know that they were causing this

problem

they got caught up in their own emotions

so you forgive them for having

an unwholesome emotion

always after you forgive them relax

that tension and tightness in your head

in your mind

and then say that again

this is a repeating exercise

that helps you to let go of

your pain and suffering

and when you finally do let that go you

have to say it over and over again many

times

and when you finally do let that go

all of that pain that you've experienced

in the past will disappear

and you will feel extreme

uplift and happy and relief

but then come back again because there

might be something else

that you need to forgive

or forgive someone else

now this is a healing technique

and it really does work

but anytime you allow your mind just to

get

carried away with the story

or trying to figure out what you could

have done

different forgive yourself for doing

that

and relax and come back and forgive

again

anything that pulls your attention away

from forgiving

forgive yourself for allowing that to

happen

and relax and repeat it again

the more you repeat it

the easier it is to convince yourself

that you really do forgive them

you have to tell yourself that a lot

because

you've spent an awful lot of time

going back over that memory and not

liking it

so it's gonna it takes a while to

honestly sincerely forgive yourself

for causing the pain to yourself or

someone else

there can be times that there's memories

that come up that are not necessarily

from this lifetime

i've had students that they they

reminded they

remembered a situation

where they were fighting with swords

and they killed someone

and then they turned around get back

into the war

and somebody killed them and stabbed

them in the liver

now in his lifetime he's roughly 40

years old

he's had a bad liver and he's had a lot

of pain

because of it so he asked me

what do you do so i said okay

you go to that person in your mind

that you killed and you ask them to

forgive you

for causing that pain

and when you forgive in them then you go

to the person that killed you and

forgive them

for doing it as soon as he did that

the pain in his liver went away and he

hasn't had any

problem with it since

so this can be a healing

technique that works very well

and say you have a family member that

you

don't get along with so well forgive

them

for not understanding and when you

honestly forgive them that gives them

the space

to change and

they will become much more agreeable

to you and your ideas

i had a lady that her

her ex-husband and son

they wouldn't talk to her for years

until she started doing forgiveness

and when she forgave herself she forgave

their family member all of a sudden they

started

talking and just last year

they were going to be traveling together

and going to france

and being a family again without the

attachments

so forgiveness is a very very

powerful meditation but you have to have

patience okay

now another thing that you want to do

is keep the forgiveness with you all the

time

when somebody is talking to you

and they're not being very nice about it

forgive them and

right then don't pay attention to what

they're saying because that's nonsense

but you also want to be able to forgive

while you're walking

your right foot i your left foot

forgive right foot you

you forgive me

i forgive you you

forgive me that's keeping forgiveness in

your mind

all the time

and it makes the sitting

a little bit easier that you can forgive

and you get more equanimity in your mind

when you finally start forgiving

the relative or person whoever caused

the pain

when you get done doing that

then you start practicing loving

kindness

your heart is going to be very open

and it's going to be so easy to radiate

loving kindness

and there might be something other

that that happened in the past that you

didn't remember

well you do the loving kindness if you

have something you need to forgive

then forgive it then that

is part of loving-kindness meditation

so the more you can

accept what has happened in the past the

more

you can allow that to be there

without getting caught in aversion

dislike

dissatisfaction

the lighter your mind becomes the more

joy you have

and other people will start

liking you even more especially the ones

that you have problem with

they will be changing and they will be

more loving and kind to you as you're

more forgiving towards the past

situation

can you talk about how long how long the

sittings in the water

okay when you're doing the sitting

meditation

i would say between 45 minutes and an

hour

you don't need to do it any more than

that although

when you get up and start moving and

doing other things you can keep

forgiving if you want

it just won't be as deep

and the walking if you're doing it as

a part of a meditation um

a half an hour 45 minutes

i've had some people that they just

wanted to walk and they could do the

forgiveness so easily

that they did it for longer periods of

time that's up to you

it doesn't really matter

but

keep it in your mind as much as you

possibly can

somebody says something that's nasty you

don't

fight back you don't get angry with them

you forgive them right then

they don't understand that they're

causing pain to other people and to

themself

so you have to be able to forgive them

right

that's what buddhism is about

learning to lovingly accept what arises

in the present