From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=7uS0li2M-dI

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

[Music]

so today we're going to talk about

the lay life

what are you going to do off retreat

and this is uh nikaya 31

sighha la kasuta to segalaka

which is also called the advice to lay

people

thus have i heard once the blessed one

was staying at rajagaha at the squirrels

feeding place in the bamboo grove

and at that time segalaka

the householder son having got up early

and gone gone out of raja gaha

was paying homage with wet clothes and

hair and with joined palms

to the different directions to the east

the south

the west the north the nadir and the

zenith

and then the blessed one having risen

early and dressed

took his bowl and robe and went

to rajagaha for alms

and seeing segalaka paying homage to the

different directions he said

householder son

why have you got up early to pay homage

to the different directions

lord my father when he was dying told me

to do so and so out of respect for my

father's words which i revere honor and

hold sacred

i have got up thus early to pay homage

in this way to the six directions

but householder son that is not the

right way to pay homage to the six

directions

according to the aryan discipline

and he says aryan he's talking about

noble

so here arya

means noble in sanskrit or in

pali

well lord how would one pay homage to

the six directions according to the

aryan discipline

it would be good if the blessed one were

to teach me the proper way to pay homage

to the six directions according to

the aryan discipline

then listen carefully pay attention and

i will speak

yes venerable sir said sigalaka

young householder it is

by abandoning the four defilements of

action

by not doing evil from the four causes

by not following the six ways

of wasting one's substance

through avoiding these fourteen evil

ways

that the noble disciple covers the six

directions

and by such practice becomes a conqueror

of both worlds

so that all will go well

with him in this world and the next

and at the breaking up of the body after

death he will go to a good destination

a heavenly realm

so what are the four defilements of

action that are abandoned

what are the four defilements of action

that are abandoned

taking life is one taking what is not

given is one sexual misconduct is one

lying speech is one

these are the four defilements of action

that he abandons

sound familiar

the precepts

and the tadagat having spoken added

taking life and stealing lying adultery

the wise reprove

what are the four causes of evil from

which he refrains

evil action springs from attachment

from ill will

from folly and from fear

if the noble disciple does not act out

of attachment

ill will

folly or fear

he will not do evil from any of these

four causes

thus the blessed one spoke

and the tagatha having spoken added

desire and hatred fear and folly

he who breaks the law through these

loses all his fair repute like the moon

at waning time

desire and hatred fear and folly he who

never yields to these

grows in goodness and repute like the

moon at waxing time

so desire and hatred this is craving and

aversion

fear and folly

this is delusion

this is also doubt

this is also ignorance

this is also lack of mindfulness

so when we talk about craving we talk

about craving threefold right we talk

about sensual craving we talk about

craving for existence and we talk about

craving for non-existence

when we talk about aversion we talk

about aversion in relation to sensual

experiences

and aversion in relation to existence

we talk about fear

fear manifests sometimes as doubt

doubt in others

doubt in oneself

and folly lack of mindfulness

this is ignorance ignoring the four

noble truths

not being aware of the four noble truths

not using the six r's

and which are the six ways of wasting

one substance that he does not follow

addiction to strong drink and sloth

producing drugs is one way of wasting

one's substance

haunting the streets at unfitting times

is one

attending fairs is one

being addicted to gambling is one

keeping bad company is one habitual

idleness is one

so these are the six ways in one in

which one wastes one substance in other

words

wastes one's time

one's energy

right one's efforts

there are these six dangers attached to

addiction to strong drink and sloth

producing drugs

so here we're talking about the fifth

precept

abstaining

from

indulging in intoxicants

at this point do you think that he had

not made

it seems like it came a little later

yeah yeah

but i think it came for good reason

after he saw you know i think there's a

story about uh

yeah i took a strong drink and

falls on the ground

so

i know that uh again

i might have misheard but uh

one of the monastics who was here we

spoke with he was talking about how

certain drinks that were fermented were

forbidden

but certain drinks like what's known as

tari

which is before the fermentation process

were permitted

and they didn't necessarily produce

intoxication so it's all about what

produces intoxication and sloth

lack of mindfulness heedlessness

so you know that can also include things

that like um

indulging in things that cause a lot of

slot and torpor in general

right like i talked about earlier binge

watching netflix

you know reading a whole book in one

night just doing things obsessively to

the point that it just causes this

dullness in the mind how do you feel

when you binge watch a whole season

well i mean

[Laughter]

but that's 52 episodes

[Laughter]

was not something that the buddha ever

prescribed or you know adhere to

in the vedas

there is this concoction that the rishis

used to create the rishis were these

sages

and in the vedas they have these hymns

to soma s-o-m-a

and soma was a concoction made up of

different kinds of roots

and seeds and plants and things like

that and it was understood that it

invigorated the mind

and it created

a lot of

inspiration for writing poetry for

writing songs

you know that kind of stuff

and

well it had some psychoactive properties

now that it's interesting i i remember

watching this documentary by a guy named

victor

sariannati i think his name was

and uh he went up to this uh

excavate he had excavated this area

where he saw that they had these temples

dedicated to the the creation of soma or

these bulls which had residue

of what could have been made up of soma

you know what that was

cannabis

opium

and ephedra

ephedra was a

stimulant

so obviously

not recommended where was that

this was up in uh

where was this

uh turkmenistan

yeah

turkmenistan

so soma was something that was used for

the writing of the vedas the rishis

would drink this in copious amounts it

was said

right

and they would make connection with the

devas and the gods and get inspiration

and start writing these hymns

and mantras

anyway

so there are these six dangers attached

to addiction to strong drink and sloth

producing drugs

present waste of money increased

quarreling

liability to sickness

loss of good name

indecent exposure of one's person

and weakening of the intellect

there are these six dangers attached to

haunting the streets at unfitting times

one is defenseless and without

protection so are one's family and so is

one's property

one is suspected of crimes and false

reports are pinned on one and one

encounters all sorts of unpleasantness

there are these six dangers attached to

frequenting fairs

one is always thinking where is their

dancing where is their singing where are

they playing music where are they

reciting

where is their hand clapping where are

the drums

there are these six dangers attached to

gambling

the winner makes enemies the loser

bewails his loss one wastes one's

present wealth

one's word is not trusted in the

assembly one is despised by one's

friends and companions

one is not in demand for marriage

because a gambler cannot afford to

maintain a wife

there are these six dangers attached to

keeping bad company

any gambler any glutton any drunkard any

cheat any trickster any bully

is his friend his companion

there are these six dangers attached to

idleness

thinking it's too cold one does not work

thinking it's too hot one does not work

thinking it's too early one does not

work thinking it's too late one does not

work thinking i'm too hungry one does

not work thinking i'm too full

one does not work

so procrastination

right

making up excuses

whether it's for meditation or for any

kind of work don't procrastinate

and the target having spoken added

some are drinking mates and some profess

their friendship to your face

but those who are your friends in need

they alone are friends indeed

sleeping late adultery picking quarrels

doing harm evil friends and stinginess

these six things destroy a man

he who goes

with wicked friends and spends his time

in wicked deeds

in this world and the next as well that

man will come to suffer woe

dicing lynching drinking two dancing

singing daylight sleep

untimely prowling evil friends and

stinginess destroy a man

he plays with dice and drinks strong

drinks and

goes with others well-loved wives he

takes the lore base her course and fades

away like waning moon

the drunkard broke and destitute ever

thirsting as he drinks like stone and

water sinks in debt soon bereft of all

his kin

he who spends his day in sleep and makes

the night his waking time ever drunk and

lechures cannot keep a decent home

too cold too hot too late they cry

thus pushing all their work aside till

every chance they might have had of

doing good has slipped away

but he who reckons cold and heat as less

than straws and like a man undertakes

the task in hand his joy will never grow

the less

so i just want to make sure that people

understand this he who spends his days

in sleep and makes the night his waking

time

obviously some people are going to have

night shifts

that's okay

right you want to be practical about

this advice

but here's an important thing he says he

who reckons cold and heat as less than

straws and like a man undertakes the

task in hand his joy will never grow the

less

what does that mean

equanimity

not being bothered about one thing or

the other heat or cold

pain or pleasure

blame or praise

right all of these different things

gains or loss

being totally equanimous

when you have a mind that is filled with

equanimity your mind remains detached

a mind that remains detached and

dispassionate

can still function

in daily life

but because it's not caught up

in

the in the fruit of the prac practice

in the fruit of the actions it's not

caught up in

it's not motivated by the end result it

knows what the end result is or it knows

what it wants to be the end result but

it allows that allows that process

to be enjoyed fully

right having total equanimity

then it doesn't matter whether they

achieve it or not

they have actually gained a lot more

than that they've gained steadiness of

mind

and very deep contentment

so the lay life

can be very very

beneficial

if you have the right

mindset if the mindset is about

being content

being equanimous

being balanced

being even-minded

householder son there are these four

types who can be seen as foes in

friendly guys

one who is all take is one

the great talker is one the flatterer is

one and the fellow spendthrift is one

the one who is all take can be seen to

be a false friend for four reasons four

reasons

he takes everything he wants a lot for

very little what he must do he does out

of fear and he seeks his own ends

the great talk again can be seen to be a

false friend for four reasons

he talks of favors in the past and in

the future he mounts empty phrases of

good will

and when something needs to be done in

the present

he pleads inability owing to some

disaster

somebody says i'll take you to the

airport

oh my car's in the shop

you know they promise to help you out

and then suddenly something happens

there's always excuses

the flatterer can be seen to be a false

friend for four reasons

he ascends to bad actions

he descends from good actions

he praises you to your face and he

disparages you behind your back

the fellow

spendthrift can be seen to be a false

friend for four reasons

he is a companion when you indulge in

strong drink when you hunt the streets

at unfitting times when you frequent

fares

and when you indulge in gambling

thus the blessed ones spoke and the

tagath having spoken added

the friend who seeks what he can get the

friend who talks but empty words the

friend who merely flatters you the

friend who is a fellow wastrel these

four are really foes not friends the

wise mind the wise man recognizing this

should hold himself aloof from them as

from some

path of panic fear

householder son there are these four

types

who can be seen to be loyal friends

the friend who is a helper

is one the friend who is the same time

who is the same in happy and unhappy

times as one

the friend who points out what is good

for you is one

and the friend who is sympathetic is one

this is your kalyana mitta

your spiritual friend somebody who looks

out for you

somebody who seeks your benefit

the helpful friend can be seen to be

loyal in four ways

he looks after you when you are

inattentive

he looks after your possessions when you

are inattentive inattentive here means

when you're drunk

he is a refuge when you are afraid and

when some business is to be done he lets

you have twice what you ask for that's a

very rare friend

the friend who is the same in happy and

unhappy friend at times can be seen to

be a loyal friend in four ways

he tells you his secrets

he guards your secrets he does not let

you down in misfortune he would even

sacrifice his life for you

the friend who points out what is good

for you can be seen to be a loyal friend

in four ways

he keeps you

he keeps you from wrongdoing

he supports you in doing good he informs

you of what you did not know and he

points out the path to heaven

the path to heaven he says because

laypeople at that time were not

concerned

with vimuti they were not concerned with

liberation from samsara

they were concerned with

you know having heavenly delights being

in the devalokas the central heavens

actually sariputta was reprimanded for

this by the buddha when he went to give

a discourse

and that discourse

allowed those people to go into

a brahmaloka or devaloka whatever it

might have been and the buddha said you

should have led them all the way to

nibana you should have shown them the

way to nibbana

but at that time most lay people were

not interested in that most people

mostly people were interested in

having fun

and enjoying themselves

nothing wrong with that

but there are ways in which one can have

fun in a wholesome way in a way that

does not cause harm to oneself

or to others

that's the way to understand

how to live your life as a lay person

does what i do harm myself

does what i

do to others

harm others

right so

understand it in that way do no harm to

yourself and do no harm to others in

mind body and speech

the sympathetic friend can be seen to be

a loyal friend in four ways

he does not rejoice at your misfortune

he rejoices at your good fortune

he stops others who speak against you

and he commends others who speak in

praise of you

thus said the blessed one

and the tata god having spoken thus

added the friend who is a helper and the

friend in times both good and bad

the friend who shows the way that's

right the friend who's full of sympathy

these four kinds of friends the wise

should know at their true worth

and he should cherish them with care

just like a mother with her dearest

child

the wise man trained and disciplined

shines out like a beacon fire

he gathers wealth just as the bee

gathers honey

and it grows like an ant hill higher yet

with wealth so gained the layman can

devote it to his people's good

he should divide his wealth in four this

will bring most advantage

one part he may enjoy at will

two parts he should put to work

the fourth part he should set aside as

reserved in times of need

now this is very interesting he says

he gathers well just as the bee gathers

honey and it grows like an ant he'll

hire yet yet the wise man

what does that mean somebody who keeps

their precepts

somebody who remains generous with their

time with their effort with their wealth

continues to accumulate wealth

because he makes friends

right in any any kind of business you're

in in any kind of career you are in

the way to make more money

is through your relationships with

people

the networks that you have

and you should build and connect with

networks

not only for making money but really

being friends with them

don't

misuse

your friends

don't misuse your networks

right connect with them for the sake of

connecting with them

the wealth will build on top of that

right that should be the icing on the

cake that should be the cherry on top

that should be

after the fact

of making friends with these people

and then he talks about how to divide

your wealth

his advice here is to say that one part

he may enjoy at will

so 25 percent

do whatever you want take that vacation

buy that rolls royce buy whatever it is

that you want to buy

right

two parts he should put to work

right 50 should be going towards

the management of your life

paying your bills

you know doing whatever needs to be done

to maintain your life

the fourth part he should set aside as

reserve in times of need

this is the buddha saying it right i'm

not a financial advisor

[Laughter]

but you should use this as general

advice right

always save something

it will always be useful because there's

a certain psychology to that when you

save your money

you know that you have

that money

for any kind of emergencies

so you can take better risks in your

business take better risks in your

career

right

and

the whole point is to understand that

there is this

way of spending money there's a way of

making money and there's a way of

spending money

if you have a mind that is filled with

equanimity if you have a mind that is

filled with contentment

your mind will be very

rational

it won't be filled with all of this

craving that says i need to go buy that

right now

i just saw that on tv i have to order it

right now or somebody was telling me

about this product i have to get it

right away oh there's a discount i have

to go get this there's a sale going on i

have to go get that your mind will not

be agitated by those things

you'll be very smart in the way that you

spend your money

right you'll be very reasonable and

rational with it

and how householders son does a noble

disciple protect the six directions

these six things are to be regarded as

the six directions

the east denotes mother and father

the south denotes

teachers

the west denotes wife and children

the north denotes friends and companions

the nadir denotes

servants workers and helpers the zenith

denotes ascetics and brahmanas

there are five ways in which one should

minister to their mother and father as

the eastern direction

they should think having been supported

by them i will support them

i will perform their duties for them i

will keep up the family tradition

i will be worthy of my heritage

after my my parents debts i will

distribute gifts on their behalf

here are the five ways in which the

parents so minister to

minister to by their child

as the eastern direction will

reciprocate

they will restrain them from evil

support them in doing good

teach them some skill

find them a suitable partner and due

time hand over the inheritance to them

in this way the eastern direction is

covered making it at peace and free from

fear

now obviously this is very much a

cultural thing because in ancient india

and even now in india

the idea is that parents should take

care of or kids should take care of

their parents

at old age

right

and even to to this day parents still

seek out a suitable partner

for their kids

when they're old enough

when they're

ready to get married so arranged

marriage over there is a whole process

in which

the parents sit down with the parents of

the other person and then they talk and

find out if they're suitable and all of

these things

and there are different ways that they

do it but you have to understand this to

be a cultural thing and what you should

take away from it is

there should be a give and take of love

and support between the parent and the

child

even if your parent was somebody who was

not so

ideal

you should still be grateful for them

because they

brought you into this life

and this life is an opportunity to

experience awakening

so for that in itself you can be

grateful to them

you don't necessarily need to give into

their ways if they're abusive and things

like that no

but don't hate them either

if you have any hatred for parents who

were

abusive or whatever might have happened

then use forgiveness

because hatred is not worth it

it's just going to consume you

and it's going to

[Music]

inform your decisions in whatever it is

that you do

you always try to run away from what

your parents did and in doing so you'll

do exactly what your parents did

there are five ways in which pupils

should minister to their teachers as the

southern direction so when they're

talking about teachers they're talking

about not spiritual teachers just

teachers in general

by rising to greet them by waiting on

them by being attentive by serving them

by mastering the skills they teach

and there are five ways in which their

teachers thus minister to by their

pupils as the southern direction

will reciprocate

they will give thorough instruction make

sure they have grasped what they should

have duly grasped give them a thorough

grounding in all skills

recommend them to their friends and

colleagues and provide them with

security in all directions

in this way the southern direction is

covered making it at peace and free from

fear

in ancient india and even now and in

some places

you you'll find what are known as

curriculums curriculum is where the word

curriculum comes from

and

this is where you would have

teachers

who would take in students and teach

them

all of the different things that they

need to know

but the students would stay at the

teacher's curriculum the curriculum was

a large place

right

and everybody had their own place to

stay all the students and it was the

teacher's responsibility to make sure

that the students were well taken care

of that they were well fed

that they were ministered to and all of

these other things

so even now that happens in some places

in some villages where all the kids go

to this place and the teacher is

responsible for them

by rising to greet them by waiting on

them by being attentive by serving them

by mastering the skills they teach

these are the five ways in which their

teachers

thus thus minister to by their pupils

as this as the southern direction will

reciprocate so well those are the five

right

the rising to greet them waiting on them

being attentive serving them and

mastering the skills that they teach

okay so the next part i'm going to read

remember it's also a cultural thing so

this can be related to

[Music]

man and woman man and man woman and man

woman and woman or whatever you want to

do right

there are five ways in which a husband

should minister to his wife as the

western direction

by honoring her by not disparaging her

by not being unfaithful to her by giving

authority to her by providing her with

adornments

and there are five ways in which a wife

thus ministered to

by her husband as the western direction

will reciprocate

by properly organizing her work by being

kind to the servants by not being

unfaithful by protecting stores and by

being skillful and diligent in all she

has to do

in this way the western direction is

covered making it at peace

and free from fear

so here it's all about roles right in

that partnership in that relationship

even the wife can play the role of the

husband or the husband can play the role

of the wife there are stay at home dads

stay at home moms and so on and so forth

so this was obviously from a cultural

context but this can still be adhered to

no matter what the partnership is or

what the relationship looks like

there are five ways in which a man

should minister to his friend and

companions

as the northern direction

by gifts by kindly words by looking

after their welfare by treating them

like himself and by keeping his word

and there are five ways in which in

which friends and companions thus

ministered to ab two by a man as a

northern direction will reciprocate

by looking after him when he is

inattentive

by looking after his property when he is

unattended inattentive by being a refuge

when he is afraid

by not deserting him when he is in

trouble and by showing concern for his

children

in this way the northern direction is

covered making it at peace and free from

fear

there are five ways in which a master

should minister to his servants and work

people as the nadir

i think we can update this to mean

you know business people business owners

and their employees employers and their

employees

by arranging their work according to

their strength

by supplying them with food and wages by

looking after them when they are ill

well i don't know about that nowadays

but healthcare

by sharing special delicacies with them

i don't know about that either but maybe

bonuses

and by letting them off work at the

right time

and there are five ways in which

servants and work people thus minister

to by their master as the nether will

reciprocate

well again take this with a grain of

salt

they will get up before him go to bed

after him take only what they are given

do their work properly and be bearers of

his praise and good repute

in this way the nadir is covered making

it at peace and free from fear

there are five ways in which a man

should minister to ascetics and

brahmanas

as the senate now when they talk about

ascetics and brahmanas they talk about

sramanas shramanas or basically the

wanderers so that included the monastics

of the dhamma right the buddhas

bhikkhus and bikunis but also other

wanderers other ascetics other brahmanas

and things like that

and so this is how he should minister to

them by kindness in bodily deed speech

and thought by keeping open house for

them by supplying their needs

and the ascetics and brahmanas thus

minister to by him as the zenith will

reciprocate in six ways

they will restrain him from evil

encourage him to encourage him to do

good be benevolently

benevolently compassionate towards him

teach him what he has not heard

clarify what he has heard

and point out to him the way to heaven

again the lay people were always

you know more about heaven

in this way the zenith is covered making

it at peace and free from fear

thus the blessed ones spoke and the tata

having spoken added

mother father are the east teachers are

the southward point wife and children

are the west friends and colleagues are

the north

servants and workers are below ascetics

brahmanas are above

these directions all should be honored

by a clansman true he who is wise and

disciplined kindly and intelligent

humble free from pride

such a one may honor again

early rising scorning sloth unshaken by

adversity of faultless conduct ready

with

such a one may honor game

making friends and keeping them

welcoming no stingy host a guide

philosopher and friend such a one may

honor gain

giving gifts and kindly speech

a while a life well spent for others

good

even handed in all things

impartial as each case demands

these things make the world go around

like the chariot's axle pin

if such things did not exist no mother

from her son would get any honor and

respect nor father either as their jew

as their due

but since these qualities are held by

the wise in high esteem they are given

prominence and are rightly praised by

all

at these words sigalaka said to the

blessed one

excellent master gautama excellent it is

as if somewhere someone were to set up

what had to be knocked down or what had

been knocked down

or to point out the way to one

who had lost the weight

or to bring an oil lamp into a dark

place so that those with eyes could see

what was there just so the master

gautama has expounded the dhamma in

various ways

may the master gautama accept me as a

lay follower from this day forth as long

as life shall last

so these are some of the general

recommendations

for

when you are in the lay life

you will find if you follow these

directions your life will actually run

pretty smoothly

even when it's met with challenges

because your mind

remains

open compassionate forgiving

equanimous content

now when you are

out there in the lay life

you can still continue to meditate you

can still continue to

keep your practice

i recommend a minimum of one hour a day

and if it's possible

2 hours

and if it's possible 3 hours

and if it's possible once a week

or once every other week do a

self-retreat

close off yourself to the whole world

and just do a self-retreat

you'll find that this meditation

practice the more you do it the more it

has a cumulative effect

right and the more it becomes easy it

becomes much easier for you to just get

into the practice

you're able to just fall into equanimity

fall into loving kindness and just do

the practice

so commit to doing it every day

and commit to keeping the precepts

that's essential that's vital that's

non-negotiable

because it's going to purify your mind

and the more purified your mind is the

more subtle your mind is

the more settled your mind is

the better decisions you'll make the

better choices you'll make the more

wholesome choices you'll make

and you know the banter you should

always talk about

taking care of the dharma and the dhamma

will take care of you

taking care of the dharma just means

that keeping your precepts committing to

the practice

maintaining your mindfulness

sending loving kindness to all beings

being compassionate and forgiving to all

being equanimous in situations that keep

keep the mind agitated

celebrating in other people's joys this

is empathetic joy

right

so what you have now are set of tools

that you can use in every moment

starting with the six r's

noticing when there's craving when

there's a version when there's slot

interpret when there's doubt when

there's restlessness

and letting go of those and coming back

to a more collected mind

noticing when there's ill will using the

six r's and bringing up loving kindness

noticing when there is

a desire to lash out at someone

recognizing that using the six r's and

bringing up compassion and forgiveness

noticing when the mind becomes envious

and jealous

and letting go of that and bringing up

empathetic joy

noticing when the mind becomes restless

and agitated

letting go of that and bringing up

equanimity

the power of lovingkindness you can

start to see you can start to manifest

in your lives

right there's so many stories of people

who've done this

who've sent loving-kindness to where

there were arguments and people suddenly

felt it and started to become calmer

notice how your mind is now when you get

to the airport

do you smile

right

at the attendant do you smile at

everyone that's there

do you smile at

the pilot or whoever it is do you keep

that smile going

do you keep that loving and kind nature

going

you keep that empathetic joy going

and so on

so there's no such thing as on retreat

and off retreat

you can choose to be always on retreat

in your mind

i will stop now

any questions

this is uh

21.

sorry 31.

diga nikaya 31.

may suffering ones be suffering free may

the fear struck fearless be may the

grieving shed all grief and may all

beings find relief may all beings share

this merit that we have thus acquired

for the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness

may beings inhabiting space and earth

devas and nagas of mighty power share

this merit of ours may they long protect

the buddha's dispensations