From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=TEMgE642tUY

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

this is the changing monastery in carmel

new york

and this is the last evening of the

retreat with venerable vimala ramsey

and the talk tonight is meta in daily

life

how to take your practice back into

daily life

and uh it is november the

27th 2007.

before i start talking about mental

daily life there's a question that's

asked quite often

about how do you know what kind of

teacher that you need to

practice with and the buddha happened to

answer that and he

also answered what kind of training you

should do

and what kind of exertion you should put

into your practice

so i'm going to read these three very

briefs

this is suita number 82

a teacher in the

san diego at sawati

monks one who does not know and see

as it actually is aging and

death its origin

its cessation and the way leading to the

cessation

should find a teacher in order to know

this

as it actually is

now for the first part

is it says

you need to find someone who knows and

sees

as it actually is aging and death

this is the first part of the noble

truth this is the first

noble truth then it says it's origin

that's the second noble truth and it

says

it's cessation that's the third noble

truth

and the way leading to cessation is the

fourth noble truth

now this occurs

with every one of the links of dependent

origination

so you have the four humble truths

mixed in with dependent

origination

amongst one who does not know and see as

it actually is birth existence

craving feeling contact the success

bases

mentality materiality consciousness

formations their origin their cessation

in the way leading to the cessation

should search for a teacher in order to

know this

as it actually is

so right here is telling you the kind of

teacher that you need to look for

someone who knows and sees dependent

origination

who can tell you about dependent

origination

in practical terms

then it says the training monks

one who does not know and see as it

actually is

aging and death their origin

cessation and weight leading to the

cessation

and then goes through this whole list

again

i should practice the training in order

to know it

as it actually is

so it's saying right here that

this is the way to practice

you practice by seeing how dependent

origination

actually works with your meditation

and in daily life

how do you exert mom amongst one who

does not know

and see as it actually is aging and

death

and then it goes through the whole thing

again

birth existence cleaning creating

feeling

contact the success basis

mentality materiality consciousness

formations

their origin cessation and way leading

to their cessation

should arouse desire

enthusiasm

be unremitting arouse

harder apply energy

practice perseverance i could

change the word perseverance to patience

practice mindfulness practice clear

comprehension

practice diligence in order to know it

as it really is

this is where your insights are with

dependent origination

so this gives you an idea of

what the buddha was actually talking

about and what he was most interested in

teaching

and he wanted all of his all of the

people that were

teaching the buddha's path to know

and understand dependent origination and

how it works

and how it arises

what's the origin of it what's the

cessation of it

and what's the way leading to the

cessation

so you're going to be going off of

retreat

very soon this is your last night

and another question that's asked quite

often

is okay we've been sitting here

sending loving kindness to our spiritual

friend and ourselves for the whole week

now what do we do when we get off

retreat

you send loving kindness to everybody

after the whole week i've been drumming

into you

got a smile i want you to smile all the

time

i want you to smile i don't care how you

feel

that was one of the observations that we

had when

somebody was writing to me about

learning to smile i told him he had to

smile for a solid week i didn't want him

to practice

meditation and then when

he started writing he came back and i

said

how's your mindfulness now he said it's

really amazing

i can see my mind when it starts to get

hard

and when i don't feel like smiling i

smile

anyway and my mindfulness picks up

your definition of mindfulness being

remembering to observe how mind's

attention

moved from one thing to another

the more you cultivate your smiling with

your daily activities

the more you will be able to experience

joy

when you have joy in your mind

your mind is uplifted your mind is very

alert and your mind is agile

so when your mind starts to get heavy

you can notice that

and then what

ah

six hours

recognize release

relax re-smile

return repeat this

whole thing staying with your object of

meditation

now what's your object of meditation

with your daily life

practice your smiling give your smile

away

as much as you possibly can

give it to other people when you

they see you smiling they will smile

back and how does that make them feel

their mind is more alert so you're

helping them

to have an uplifted mind

now when you get up and

how many people at the start of the

retreat i said

i want you all to practice right before

you go to sleep

to make a determination

that you wake up in the morning smiling

with a happy mind how many people did

that

wow i'm embarrassed i didn't think you

paid

now keep that determination going

make a determination that you're going

to smile

just as you wake up and have a happy

mind

and then keep that happy mind going

then you go into the bathroom and you

wash your face and brush your teeth

and all of that sort of thing take care

of your bodily needs

keep smiling

keep your mind light

then you go and you gotta brush your

teeth

right at some point some people brush

your teeth as soon as they get up some

people brush their teeth right after

they eat their breakfast

you gotta smile anyway right

so put the smile in your mind

put the smile in your heart

then you

do your sitting meditation do you say

meditation in the morning at least for

30 minutes

if you have time and the meditation is

good

sit longer but at least 30 minutes

now this is 30 minutes without moving

your body

okay i don't care if you sit in a chair

i don't care if you sit on the floor

it's up to you

but don't sit in too comfortable

a chair or if you sit on the couch and

it's real squishy and real

comfy that's a good a good way to go

back to sleep

so the picking chair is not overly

soft and don't lean heavily

into it you want to put you want to put

your back so that it's nice and straight

have fun with your meditation

it really is fun to wish your friend

well and think kind

thoughts to your friend

you can't be critical of yourself

when you're following the buddha's path

that's

unwholesome that's unwholesome thoughts

you want to be kind to yourself

spend the first 10 minutes sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself

the rest of the time to your spiritual

friend

now you get up and you you're done with

your meditation

and you keep your smile going

and you walk out to the car and get in

the car and drive to work

now the time that you it took you to go

from your front door to the car

what are you doing with your mind

thinking this thinking that ho-hum

just more risked for the mill

wish somebody happiness you can wish all

beings happiness

keep your smile going get into the car

don't focus on your spiritual friend

your object of meditation now is smiling

and it's real

easy to pay very good attention to your

driving while you're smiling

although people that might pass you

think you're a little crazy

because you're smiling but that's okay

what happens when you get in a traffic

jam

how many people really

become angry oh i gotta get to work i

don't like this this is really not

good

you're developing all of these

unwholesome thoughts

all of these dissatisfactions you're not

smiling now you're starting to worry

because i'm gonna be late

okay so where are you

are you in the car sitting being happy

or are you projecting what's going to

happen in the present moment

in the future moments

what happens when you start feeling like

you're being pushed as you start leaning

from the present moment

a little bit into the present into the

future moment

to the next moment and you're not

completely here now

when you get into your worry that's an

unwholesome state

and whose worry is it

that's mine i can't be late

oh i'll get in so much trouble

and all of on and on you just

and all of a sudden you're not even

close to the present moment anymore

now you're a thousand miles away

thinking about this

and thinking about that coming back to

the worry thinking about this coming

back to the worry

causing yourself all kinds of suffering

don't do that to yourself

there is nothing out there that

causes your suffering

you cause your own

suffering and

when you use the six cars

and come back into the present moment if

you haven't really let go of that worry

you're still gonna be leaning and then

your mind's gonna go away again

so you use the six hours again

take a look in the mirror what's your

face doing

is it smiling gotcha

so you you are caught in a traffic jam

everybody else around you is stop take a

look at their faces

where is their mind what is their mind

doing you know very well

because you just got through with that

are they happy or are they suffering

do you want to help them with their

suffering

smile radiate some

happiness

time goes by at the same speed whether

you're suffering or whether you're happy

so you might as well be happy

right you might as well smile into this

now you get to work

and you get out of the car and you walk

into work

what are you doing with your mind

oh i'm thinking about all the things i

gotta do when i get there

i i i

why don't you start radiating loving

kindness

to everybody clearing work

smile give them that happy feeling

walk into the door with a smile and

happiness

then you can help them have a good

day

be the example

smile as often as you can remember to

and when you forget you can't criticize

yourself

just start over again

this is a game and you have to treat it

like a game

and sometimes you're gonna forget and

that's okay

it's not a problem to forget

what you want to do is remember

that's part of the mindfulness isn't it

remember to come back and watch how

mine's attention is

what it's doing in the present moment

somebody calls you on the telephone

i recommend very highly that you have

a little mirror right by the phone

and it says smile

i'll tell you something that happened i

was in washington dc

and there was a girl that she was

working

with senator lieberman when he was

running for vice president

and what she did was put the makeup on

before he went

out he was going to be having this big

discussion

with dick cheney

and she'd been practicing with me for a

while

and i've given her one of these mirrors

that says smile on it she carried it

with her

and joe lieberman is very

much worried and a lot of anxiety

and he's really nervous

about what is he going to say and how is

he going to say

it and she saw him and she

started telling him things that i told

her

about smiling and how much easier it is

to let go

of the restlessness and the worry

and he's kind of yeah yeah yeah

so she pulls out the mirror and she

sticks it in front of his face and she

said you have to do what it says on the

mirror

and he started smiling and his mind

let go of the restlessness and let go of

the worry

and he had a good laugh

now he went out and had a debate with

dick cheney i don't

i don't follow politics and i don't

watch tv

but from what she said that was the best

debate

of the whole campaign because they

weren't

fighting with each other they were just

talking about what their ideas

were that needed to happen

and it was great

so i affected the world

in a positive way just because i told

them

they need to smile and somebody took it

seriously

well i i haven't ran out

right now i'll get some but you can do

it for yourself

nail polish works real good put a smile

on it

now you put this by the phone

every time you talk on the phone

look in the mirror and start smiling

and as you're talking you

look occasionally to see whether you're

smiling or not

and if you're not then just start

smiling again

the person on the other side of the line

really likes that

and you start having more success with

your business things because your mind

is uplifted by

smiling

make the smile part of your daily

activities

give the smile away even through the

phone line

the smile goes through and the other

person will start smiling

and you know what it's what it feels

like to stand in front of a mirror and

smile for five minutes right

how many people started laughing after

they were there for a couple of minutes

it's great

there are going to be hindrances

that arise in your daily activities

that's not a maybe that's yeah it's

going to happen your mindfulness is

going to slip and you're going to get

caught anxiety fear

depression whatever the catch of the day

happens to be

anger

now

please try to remember

that when you

laugh at being

caught by this mental state

you're no longer caught by it

when you laugh and it doesn't have to be

a big laugh

and you don't even have to laugh out

loud

but when you have your sense of humor

about

how crazy your mind is when the

hindrance arises

that hindrance is where your

ego identification is

i am that i am

this anxiety i am this fear i am

this anger when you have a chuckle about

how you got

caught by that it goes from

i am that to

it's only this it's only this anger is

only this feeling what's that

relax smile

have fun with life

i know this is really odd coming from a

buddhist monk

have fun

why look at what it does with your mind

i don't mean for you to have

uncontrollable laughter

and have tears coming down your face

because something is funny

but what happens is you start to develop

this little kind of chuckle

and with the chuckle that

helps change your perspective from i am

that to his own what's the big deal

about this

let it go

so the hindrance are grounded they are

going to arise

but on this retreat i've worked real

hard

to show you that the hindrances

are your friend not your enemy

the hindrances are there to show you

where your attachment

is

so you can six r with the hindrance

and every time you let go of the

hindrance

you've let go of craving

when you let go of craving there is no

more clinging

there is no more nonsense

stuff that pulls you further and further

away from what you're doing in the

present moment

when you let go of clinging when you

relax and you start smiling

into whatever there is in the present

moment

you have a wholesome mind

and with that wholesome mind comes

clarity

and then it's real easy to stay

smiling and happy for periods of time

that will get longer and longer as you

practice

the buddha said that meditation

there's three parts to meditation

first is practicing your generosity

now is that when you practice generosity

there's three parts to the generosity

when you're preparing a gift prepare it

with a happy mind

while you're giving the gift give it

with

a happy mind and after you've given the

gift

reflect on having done something

that's really nice with a happy mind

now do we give we can

give with our speech we can give with

our actions

and we can deal with our mind

when you're smiling you're practicing

your generosity

and you're helping other people around

you

not just a little bit a lot

when you say things that are kind to

other people and you make them smile

by saying it that's a wonderful gift

you're practicing your generosity

practice your generosity as much as you

can during the day

if you're waiting in line at the grocery

store

and you see that the

the girl the cashier girl your guide

whichever it happens to be

the cashier is

having kind of a hard time and they're

not smiling

then say something that will help them

to find relief so they don't suffer so

much say

something that will help them to smile

practice your generosity

practice it often

give your smile away as many times in

the day as you possibly can

that's good generosity

and it's fun

one of my favorite things to do is to be

in a grocery store where there's a

little

kid sitting in the

basket and they're

grumpy they're crying

i'd love to make them smile

and when i make them smile

mother's minds all of a sudden i'm a

favorite of the mother

and it's fun and some of the little

children

they can they can do things that are

just wonderful

and that makes me laugh

practice your generosity

keep it going as much as you can

remember

now when you start making life a game

then it's easy to make gains of your

generosity

be creative have that

uplifted mind that's what the eightfold

path is all about

having this uplifted mind

that leads to the cessation of suffering

not only for you but other people around

you

the more creative you can be

with your generosity

the more enthusiasm you have to share

with other people

now one of the things that happens

especially on retreat especially if

you've been

somewhat successful you want to get off

retreat and you want to tell

everybody about this and i suggest that

you don't tell

anybody i suggest that you be the

example

and when they come up and ask you

then you can give them some small things

like say oh i just practice smiling for

a week

i just practice being happy for a week

they'll see that your face is brilliant

they'll see that there's no tension in

your face they'll see that your face

is glowy

and they want some of that

so you don't have to try to convince

anybody of anything

all you have to do is be the example

and smile and

they'll come and ask you more and more

i had a lot of students in malaysia

and some of the students every time i

gave a retreat they came to the retreat

i have no idea how they did that with

their work and family and all of that

but they

figured it out

and after they got to a very

nice stage in their meditation they

would go into work

and they would just do their work

and they would be happy and then

all of their work may say you're

different

what are you doing that makes you so

different now

you don't get upset so easy you don't

yell at people you don't get angry at

people now

you have this smile on your face and

everything is a lot easier

what are you doing and then they would

say well i practice

in meditation with this mom

oh well the next time that happens let

me know i want some of that too

see that's that's a mistake that some of

the religions make

they think that they have to go out and

convince somebody

that what they have is really good

i don't want you to convince anybody

i want you to be the example

now another part of the meditation

is keeping your precepts

now tomorrow morning i'm going to give

you five or maybe six i'm not sure

precepts

okay they're just basic suggestions

that when you follow these this leads to

a

happy peaceful mind

don't kill or harm anything don't take

anything that's not

given don't have any wrong sexual

activity

don't tell lies even little tiny white

lies

just to make somebody feel good

don't use harsh speech

that means a person

don't take drugs and alcohol

when i was in malaysia i was giving this

talk to somebody and they finally said

okay you have been convinced

how long do i have to do this

so i said well we can start at 100 years

and go up from there

keeping your precepts and

keeping them very closely

is a general way of practicing

your mindfulness of

watching what you do before you do it

and if you break a preset

it will affect your mind

in such a way that hindrances will

come up and then you have to work with

that

it causes remorse

to come up you say something

that you know is not true your mind says

right then

very quietly i shouldn't have said that

i know it's not true

but then you kind of shine it on and say

ah

go on about your daily activities and

then a hindrance comes along and knocks

you off balance for a while

that is directly because you broke the

preset

so what do you do if you accidentally

break a preset

right then you've got what you're doing

you go out by yourself take the precepts

again

i undertake to keep the precept not to

kill or harm living beings not to take

what's not given

not to have wrong sexual activity

not to tell lies in her speech not to

take drugs and alcohol

and then make the determination in your

mind

that you're not going to break the

precepts again

but you've got to forgive yourself

one of the beauties about buddhism is

that we don't really like to hang on

with guilt that's for other religions

so

forgive yourself for making a mistake

forgive yourself for not being perfect

at this

take the precepts again with the clear

mind

that now i'm not going to break the

precept again

i highly recommend that every morning

you take the five presets

you can do it in front of the buddha

image if you have a booty image

you can do it just by yourself

if you want to it's up to you

it's not a right and ritual

you're taking the precepts as the

reminder for the day not to break the

precepts

it makes it a conscious effort

now when you practice keeping the

precept over a period of time

and then you sit and you start doing

your meditation

you will not have so many hindrances

arise

and still will come up a bit

now you remember the story that i told

you a while back

i had a student in malaysia she had

never meditated before

she kept the precepts closely her whole

life

she wouldn't even consider saying

something that wasn't true

she spent her time helping other people

being generous with material things

and then she came and she said i've

heard that

about your meditation i want to learn it

she never meditated before she came to a

retreat

the first day of the retreat and gave

the instructions

after lunch i came up to her and said

how's your meditation going and she said

i understand

the instructions but i can only sit for

45 minutes

only is the clue so i said why not why

don't you sit longer

she said you know i'm not used to

sitting on the floor

and my knees are killing me and i can

only stand in for 45 minutes

so i said well there's no real magic on

the floor

sit in the chair just don't lean into

the chair

her next sitting was four hours she got

into the first

jhana the first day she ever practiced

meditation

that's pretty impressive so much so i

wanted to go up to her

hit her in the back of the head and say

nobody's supposed to be that good

in the weekend she really progressed

quickly

why she didn't have a guilty mind

she didn't have remorse of her actions

she'd already been practicing practicing

a general form of

mindfulness her whole life

and that's what one of the things that

says in the sentence

when you keep your meditating you keep

your precepts very closely

your mind will become peaceful and calm

very quickly

so it's your choice i mean do you want

to keep your

precepts or not well i'll keep all of

them but this time

you can do that but don't look forward

to having

great meditation

that's part of meditation it's

part of living

making the conscious decision

to keep the precepts no matter what

i had some students

that their job was being a salesman

and they said well you know there's

times

when i have to say things that aren't

true and i said

why well then i wouldn't sell

this if i if i said that if i

if i said something that's not true i

could sell it if i don't say it they

won't buy it

and i said you know that's a real

short-term

advantage that you think that you have

but when they find out that you didn't

tell them

the truth do you think you're going to

be able to sell to them again

anytime soon

when you start to get the reputation as

a salesman

of being honest

that will perceive you and people will

trust

you so

it's your choice now i also had some

students

they the chinese were truly wonderful

people

and they said you know i wanna

practice the buddha's path

and i wanna get rich

what's the fastest way to get rich

so what's the answer to that

practice your generosity keep your

precepts

develop your mind so that you have a

happy mind

then you're rich whether you have a lot

of material things or not

you will have more and more friends

who honestly trust you and your judgment

and isn't that being rich

keeping the precepts is a very

necessary part of your meditation

learning how to let go of

the hindrances when they arise so they

don't knock you over

for as long a period of time

now i told you that there was a lady

that

she came into the monastery i was

staying at

as soon as she walked in the door i

wanted to walk out the back door i mean

she was she had a cloud of negativity

around her

but she came to talk with me

so i had to be there

so she comes up and she said

i have three children

i'm living with my husband my husband is

so

angry with me that he said i'm never

going to talk to you again

and he doesn't and it made her mad

and i said well how long will you get

angry how long do you stay

angry when he does something that you

don't like and she said oh a couple of

weeks anyway

wow who wants to live with somebody like

that

and hold a grudge for two weeks

make your life miserable for two weeks

because

you do something that somebody else

doesn't like that's tough

she said i i want to do something so i

don't have these problems

the anger is just tearing me up my body

feels bad

i don't eat i don't sleep very well

what can i do so i told her how to

practice loving kindness meditation

she could only practice for about 20

minutes a day

because she had three kids she was real

active and they were

from i think five years up to teenage so

she was taking them every place and

taking care of them and

taking care of the house and that sort

of thing so she was real busy

so she got up an extra half an hour

early

before the kids got up so that she could

sit in meditation

she went from his doing his her husband

doing something that really got him

got her men

she went from being angry for two weeks

to being angry for 10 days that's a

major improvement

not bad as she

continued doing that and coming and

talking to me and i kept on telling her

that she has to learn to smile more and

be

happy over a period of time

she went from being angry for 10 days to

angry for seven days

and then angry for five days

and then angry for two days

and then angry for a few hours

after a long period of time

because she could only do this

meditations short period of time every

day

her personality development was such

that he would do something and she would

stay

angry for two or three minutes

and then see the pain she was causing

herself and let it go

she learned how to relax into it she

learned how to smile

into it for instance

she was with her husband they went to a

store

he drove her to the store stop she said

this will not take me any more than five

minutes please wait

she walked in the store and drove away

she came out five minutes later

where'd he go and she saw this anger

starting to come up and she went

well you know it's a beautiful day i

might as well walk

so she walked on

and

she had fun walking home

she wasn't holding on to the grudge she

wasn't

even thinking about him anymore

she was in the present moment she was

enjoying the walk

she saw birds that she hadn't seen for a

while

she saw new flowers

this is a gradual training

and it is a personality development

if you hold on to certain ideas about

this is who i am and this is the way i'm

going to act always

you can look forward to a lot of

suffering

if you're willing to change

if you're willing to let go of your

hindrances

and attachments and concepts

of the way you think the world is

in other words you let go of your

craving

you'll start to see wonderful things

happening

all around you you'll start to see

how your mind is uplifted all the time

you'll start to have more and more

joy in your life

now an interesting thing with joy

is it is the middle factor

of the enlightenment factors it's the

balancing

factor isn't that interesting

what are the enlightenment factors

mindfulness enlightenment factor

remembering to observe

investigation of your experience

to let go of the distraction

relax smile come back

to the present moment smile

how did your mind go from smiling

to this hindrance

it didn't all of a sudden just jump

there

from what we've learned from dependent

origination there's a lot of little

steps that happened

before your mind got distracted

as you investigate how that

happened you start saying that right

before your mind really got carried away

for a period of time there was something

else that was there

and then you start letting go when that

arises are you starting to investigate

as you investigate how

mind's attention moves you start

having more energy and enthusiasm

in doing the practice

every time you let go of a hindrance

there's a feeling of relief why do you

have a feeling of relief

because you've let go of the false idea

that that hindrance is yours

your mind has relief in it

joy rises

why because

that enlightenment factor although it's

different

than being in the drama

this enlightenment factor is

not the excited real over

happy kind of joy this is a more

peaceful kind of joy

when you go deep enough in your

meditation

this kind of joy will arise

and when this arises it's called

all-pervading joy it's like

taking a picture of water and just

filling it up

filling this cup up and it's over

running there's not

one part of the cup that doesn't have

water touching

it this kind of joy is like that

every cell in your body feels this joy

it's really nice but it doesn't have the

excitement

of the lower dramas

this enlightenment factor of joy

helps you to see with clarity

what's happening in the present moment

and if a disturbance starts to

arise you'll recognize it

you can let it go before it comes all

the way up to the surface

it takes practice this is a gradual

training

it's not going to happen to you after

one week of retreat

but you have the tools now

so that you can practice when you go

home

right after joy when that feeling

fades away you feel very very strong

tranquility

very peaceful you feel

your mind is very collected and unified

stays on your object of meditation

easily

you see your mind has this very strong

balance in it

that's the seven factors of

enlightenment

that's something that everybody can

experience

if in practice practice

what smiling

in your six hours

easy right except when you forget

and you're going to i promise you you

will forget

and that's okay to forget but when you

remember

don't keep staying involved with

the hindrance let go of that

relax smile and continue smiling

then your mind starts to have the sense

of balance

and clarity that you've never run across

before

you start looking at all kinds of

different things and you start really

seeing them you see

flowers you see the colors it's

wonderful that keep your attention for a

moment

then there's something else

you don't get caught by the clinging

when you look at a flower which means

thinking about it

you see it for what it is it's very

beautiful it's very wonderful

okay what else is next i'm ready

this is what the buddha's path is all

about it's about the personality

development so that you can be happy

all the time when you go to asia

they're a lot happier than we are

even though say in burma they have this

this government that's really

hoarded but they can still get together

and they can smile and they can laugh

they've been practicing this for

thousands of years

so

let's start one smile at a time

and build on that as much as you can

that leads to clarity that leads to true

mindfulness

that leads to your being able to see

how dependent origination arises

all the time it's not

me it takes practice

but the practice is fun

and the more you start to see the more

enthusiasm you have

and the more you want to see and that

really gets by

i've been practicing this for

over 30 years and i've never been bored

and i'm always saying new things in new

ways

i'm getting insights that are truly

remarkable

it doesn't matter whether i'm sitting in

meditation or doing something else

insides will come and the insights are

always how this process works

it's really good

when you

are dealing with your family

the more laughter

and the more fun you have with your

family

the more they will appreciate

how your mind is changing and

they'll start to see this balance that

comes in

it's kind of like i told you we had we

were parked in a parking lot

somebody ran into the truck

bent up there's no getting around it

and we walked out and we looked and we

went

look at that isn't that something

we didn't get angry and this is came on

you didn't get angry we didn't get upset

we didn't worry about how to fix it

ah okay let's get in the car and go

that's when we're coming here it's more

important to be

here than to worry about that

it'll get fixed

but we don't have to worry about it

we don't have to get angry because this

happened

it just happened that's the way it works

sometimes

so you repair what needs to be repaired

and continue on

but what happens if you buy a brand new

car

and you let your neighbor drive it

and he comes back with a scratch all the

way along the side

what does that do to your mind

do you have anything in your mind

i don't think so

but when you practice you stop having

these

emotional swings i like it i

don't like it i like it i

don't like it

this is one of the reasons why you have

to have so much sleep during the day

or during the night as a case may be

i have to have eight hours or else i'm

not worth anything

why because i spend my whole day liking

and disliking liking this like

as you keep on this path

and you smile into things and you start

to have fun

with things you will naturally

need less sleep i'm not telling you to

stop

taking so much sleep it will happen all

by itself

you're just not as tired

and your day seems to be filled with all

kinds of

more interesting things when you have

balance in your mind

people become angry

that's their anger i don't have to take

it i don't have to make it mine

i can love them

that's the way you want to practice your

daily activities

love everybody that you see

and i'm not talking about

sensual love i'm talking about

unconditioned love just wish them well

this is something that everybody wants

and they can't get enough of it

so give it to them as much as you can

practice

and with that practice what happens to

your mind

you start getting more balance you start

seeing when

you get knocked off balance and you're

not caught for islam

when this was years ago i think it was

1976 menindra

came to america menindra was

joseph goldstein's teacher in india

he's a little indian man about 4 feet

11.

had an ice cream cap he had a white cap

chained his head

or white robes

he came and he gave a one-month deposit

retreat

after that everybody left and he decided

he was going to give

the staff of which i was part

a two-week mentor retreat

so we did a two-week mentor retreat with

him

and some of the things he kept saying

over and over again

was how it affects the world around you

so after we did that

i decided that i wanted to test this on

my own

so i went into a huge shopping mall

i mean it was it was like a saturday it

was

crowded and i walked around

with a grumpy face

everybody i saw i just frowned

and everybody was giving me the same

kind of face back

so i thought ah okay we know that part

works

so i sat down on a bench i closed my

eyes

i started smiling and just started

radiating happy feelings to everybody

around me

and i started feeling eyes

looking at me you know how that happens

so i thought there's something happening

i gotta find out what it is and i

opened up my eyes and there was 10 or 12

complete strangers

smiling with me

and i thought okay this stuff really

works

don't believe me try it yourself

when i was in thailand i was on a bus

and i thought well there's an awful lot

of people and they're

kind of all doing whatever they're doing

while they're riding on the bus why

don't i radiate some loving kindness to

them so i started radiating loving

kindness and

everybody on the bus turned around and

started looking at me

and the guy that was driving the bus was

looking in the rear-view mirror

while i was driving and then i thought

this is not a good thing so

they fall down

i wanted him to pay attention to driving

not watch me while i was radiating

it's amazing to see how this stuff

works experiment with it

try it in all different ways

animals love this stuff

i was in a monastery one time and there

they had a dog and i truly loved dogs

and i bent down and i touched it and it

turned around and started snapping at me

and i thought wow that's interesting

so i radiated some loving kindness to it

because i knew that it was suffering

and then went on and

did whatever i was going to do these

monks were showing me around

and we had to go through this very

narrow place where there were some

some fairly good-sized rocks about as

tall as this table

and as we're going through this narrow

little

place this dog runs and he jumps and he

gets on the rock

and as i walk by the dog started licking

my hand

isn't that amazing what happened

what's the difference

it went from being shocked and trying to

bite me

to licking my hand just because i

radiated loving kindness i

had compassion for that being because it

was suffering

it happens with all kinds of animals it

happens with all kinds of people

you know when you when you get into this

meditation you go to sleep very

easily very quickly

i always say by my right side always

i can read a book and say okay

put it down get on my right right side i

toss and turn

for a good two three seconds before i'm

asleep

when i sleep i sleep very soundly

i don't wake up tossing and turning i

don't wake up during the night

when i wake up in the morning

my mind's alert i don't

fumble around and mumble and bump into

things and

i'm alert i'm awake okay

i'm ready and i'm smiling because

i'm happy to get up

these are some of the advantages of

practicing this meditation

there are a lot of other advantages like

your face becomes very beautiful when

you're smiling

if you don't believe it carry that

mirror around and wait to get in a fight

with somebody

and then pull the mirror out and see

what your face looks like

it's ugly

so there's all of these different

advantages for

practicing

and they all lead to

wholesome states uplifted states

and that leads directly to

clarity and it

your observation power becomes much

greater and you start seeing how

dependent origination works with

everything

and that's what the boon suggested that

we learn

how do we learn by being observant

by seeing it in everything

you become more content

material things yeah yeah yeah yeah okay

you know what's happened in this country

since i've been back i left for 12 years

i

came back i started noticing that just

about

everybody likes to go to the store and

buy something new

and they're buying this junk that falls

apart

after using it once or twice so then

they can go to the store

and buy something else new

what are they doing when they do that

they're trying to get in a little bit of

happiness it's very fleeting it doesn't

last

smiling lasts a lot longer

they're trying to distract themselves

away from the suffering that they're

having

rather than look at the suffering

see how it arises and let it go

it's much easier to go to the store and

buy this cheap little

thing and then i can be happy for two or

three minutes

you become content what does content

mean when you look it up in the

dictionary what does content mean

i did that one night it means you're

happy isn't that something

you're happy with your situation you're

happy in the present moment

the more you smile into things

the less pain there is

when i was in malaysia we used to have

this

newspaper that every wednesday they

printed

a section in the middle of the newspaper

that was only

positive news it was great stuff

and they had a lot of articles

scientific

articles on what happens in your body

when you laugh how healthy is

that for you it's amazing

it affects your whole body in a very

positive way

now at one point i used to do

a lot of carpentry that means

hammer and nails

and sometimes my mindfulness wasn't as

good as it could have been

and i'd hit my thumb

when that happened before i started any

kind of

mental development i used to get really

angry

and i used to hate that feeling and boy

it would really

throb it would really hurt

then i found out through some mental

training

that if i had a pain

horizon my body and i started

smiling into that pain and loving

that place where the pain is

that the pain didn't last for so long

and it's amazing

after a while it hit my thumb and i'd go

oh

okay now i'm back to work doing whatever

i'm doing

and a few hours later i look at my

finger

and there's this great big blue thing

under my fingernail

well look at that how'd that happen

oh i remember i hit it

now what happens if

you have aversion

to a pain a rise

in your mind it shuts

down the blood vessels

in your brain because the aversion

causes you to contract right

and that shuts down the

pineal gland where the endorphins are

stored

and the endorphins are your body

painkiller

your natural painkiller it's about 10

times stronger than more

morphine so you have this light if you

have this satisfaction

then that pain doesn't go away

and it will stay there for a long period

of time i can remember hitting my thumb

and not being able to use that thumb for

a week and a half

or so because it was just too tender

but when i started putting love

into that what am i doing i'm relaxing

my mind

and when i relax my mind the blood

vessels start

flowing very nicely the endorphins come

out into my body and that's the natural

painkiller

so in a few minutes there's no pain

every time you have pain arise in your

body i don't care what kind of pain it

is

your body is telling you right

then right there you need to love me

you need to send acceptance and love

into that sensation

then the painkiller starts coming in the

natural painkiller

and then it becomes terrible

and then before long you even forget

about it

because it doesn't hurt anymore

they found this out when there were a

lot of people

were skiing and somebody would fall down

and they would

hurt their ankle but they were having so

much fun that they'd get up

and then go ski some more and at the end

of the day they sit down

and they look at their ankle and it's

huge

did that happen oh i fell on didn't it

but they walk without even limp after

straining their ankle

this is pretty amazing stuff

the more love you can put

into negative things

the easier it is to let go of those

negative things

we read this every day hatred can

never be overcome by hatred in this

world

hatred can only be overcome by love

i like to change that sometimes

and say aversion can never be

overcome by aversion

aversion can only be overcome

by loving acceptance

the more you put love

into the pain the less the pain

hurts

now it's not necessarily going to make

the pain go away but it's going to make

it much more

bearable

i mean i i have done some weird things

with nail guns i've nailed my

fingers to the boards and that sort of

thing

and it was painful and i had to

pull it out somehow and there's this

hole in my finger

there was pain and then it was okay for

it to be there

now i'll give you another for instance

see that's overdue okay i was in burma

and a dentist said he was gonna clean my

teeth

he was gonna do me a favor by cleaning

my teeth and he broke it

now he said

well we're going to have to do a root

canal

in burma they don't change their

utensils

they work on your teeth they work on

your teeth they don't wash it

in between the times and then they come

and they work on my teeth

so i'm saying i don't want any aids

thank you

i don't want you messing around with any

needles in this mouth

and i made sure that he boiled

everything before he used it but i said

go ahead and drill i don't need any

paint color

have you ever had a ring now you know

how it feels

try it without painkillers

so he was drilling along and all of a

sudden he hit this place and i

jumped out of the seat about four inches

without moving

and i see that my hands are really tight

on the handles you know and

all of my muscles and my shoulders and

my back

and my buttocks and my legs they're all

tight like a rock

and i looked at that and i went well

that's interesting

so i started going around and relaxing

everything

and

oh look at that i'm doing it again so

i made it my meditation

to relax into

whatever sensation it was

and i even had time

to send loving and kind thoughts

to the person it was causing me the pain

now he he drilled for what seemed like

hours

but it was only about 15 or 20 minutes

and when he stopped

my mind was clear

i wasn't holding on to the dislike of

the pain i kept letting that pain go i

kept relaxing all of the pain in my body

in my mind and i was focusing on loving

kindness

as soon as he stopped

i was happy i wasn't happy because he

stopped

necessarily

but i was happy for a good day and a

half

after that

my mind was bright my mind was super

alert

because i didn't fight

whatever arose in the present moment i

was putting love

into it as much as i could

and as i got better at doing

it i started gaining more balance of

mine

you want to see how good your

mindfulness is try it

when you're doing any task

and you're not really thinking about it

that's when accidents occur

as you smile you become more in the

present moment

you start doing things and you do them

very well

you become very efficient with what

you're doing in the present moment

especially when you don't have any

resistance to what you're doing in the

present moment

i gotta watch the dishes how much do i

like doing that

no

but you gotta do it anyway so you try to

do it as fast as you can and then you

wind up dropping

things and breaking things

but let's take a look at that the

dislike of washing

dishes who doesn't like it

who doesn't want to do it

who's leaning out of the present moment

for the next moment so you won't have to

be in this moment

doing this because i don't want to do

that

see when you have your hindrance and you

lovingly accept the fact that it's

there you let go of that tight mental

fist

around that dislike

and then you relax

now you smile and washing the dishes

isn't so bad after all

and you don't break things

and you become very efficient in doing

it

when you have a version in your mind

you're not very efficient

one of the things that's truly amazing

is you know those kind of

days when you've got 25 things to do

and you've only got 20 minutes to do it

and you start doing this and then you

think oh my god i forgot this thing over

here and you leave that alone and come

over here and

do oh then there's i gotta go to that

okay that's the time when you need to

sit down and not move

and start practicing your loving

kindness

and letting go of that restless feeling

when you let go of the restless feeling

then you get up and you do this

done this

and you wind up getting everything done

because you're not thinking about

the next moment you're only being right

here

with what you're doing you become

super efficient you get

each one of those tasks done you still

have a few minutes left over

or you cannot do that and wind up with a

lot of problems

that need to be solved

and need to be taken care of it's your

choice

you see what the hindrances do to you

let go

you start becoming more efficient

now another thing that you can do with a

loving kindness

is if you have a meeting with your boss

or you have a meeting that's rather

important to you

and you start worrying about it

then stop for a few minutes and start

radiating loving kindness into the

meaning

radiate loving kindness

radiate loving kindness into yourself

and then let it go

relax

now go into the meeting and watch how

much more efficient you are

when you do that

and again that's your choice you can

start worrying about this

and whether i'm gonna say this or that

to this person and you can plan

it all out and it doesn't ever even come

close to what you've planned

which means that that was a waste of

time

the more you can focus on putting love

in

the situation the

easier everything becomes it's not

me

i was telling some guys today that

because i had a construction company

sometimes i got

jobs to do that i nobody else wanted to

do and i had to do it and it had to do

with plumbing

i really don't care for plumbing very

much

because i have a big body and everything

that has to do with plumbing is down

there and there's only

this much space to work in so it's not

an easy thing for me

so i have to screw this thing on here

and i

can't get it lined up right and i'm

doing it over and

i over again this i can't seem to do it

when i see that my mind has this

hindrance of dissatisfaction and

what do i do i stop what i'm doing

five minutes ready loving kindness

ah peaceful and calm

sudden love to myself send love to that

little thing that won't fit and then

go up and look at it go done

you can use loving kindness in anything

you can use loving kindness in any

situation

the trick is to remember to do it

now i promise that you're going to go

periods of time

hours and hours and hours where you

forgot

but every time you remember

it gets easier to remember because

everything

levels out everything smooths out

all of the worries and anxiety seem to

dissolve by themselves

so loving kindness is not

just what we would call a

sitting meditation

all life is meditation

all meditation is a part of life

practice with enthusiasm

having fun

and you will see how you start to change

your personality things that used to get

you angry they don't bother you so much

anymore

you start becoming more efficient with

what you're doing in the present moment

and that's fine in itself

and you start appreciating now

how do you know when you're advancing

spiritually

by your sense of humor

you start laughing with things

not at them you know how

almost all jokes are laughing at

somebody

or laughing at pain

when you start developing your sense of

humor

all of a sudden you start laughing with

everything but it's not

big belly laughs it's little ones

i got done with an eight-month retreat

somebody said they were gonna take me

from one place to another

in in malaysia

so i'm sitting in the car and i'm

looking out the window and i'm kind of

giggling

at everything that i see and they say

what are you laughing at

i said oh was i laughing

why are you laughing

because i'm happy

no other reason just because i'm happy

and before long they were starting to

see

things in a funny fun way too

i see two birds and they're they're

doing their little dance

great stuff

that's what the buddha's path is for

have this uplifted mind practice it as

much as you can remember

can't criticize yourself when you forget

just start over again that's why it

turns into a game

it's okay to start over again

nobody's gonna grade you

but you'll notice in yourself and other

people will start to notice

in you how your mind has

good balance in it how your mind is

uplifted

how your face has a smile

and they want some radiate loving

kindness to everybody you see

now when you're radiating loving

kindness

don't look people in the eye especially

opposite sex

you know what i mean

you can radiate loving kindness whether

you're looking at them or not

just don't look them in the eye because

that is misunderstood

unless you're really interested

okay so this is that last night of the

retreat

does anybody have any questions about

their practice and questions

made it so clear that nobody has any

questions at all

wow okay

like in my apartment they're always a

spider

so if i take the preset

no killing so how should i deal with

those

outside you spiders them go outside

actually

the united um has been collecting from

all over the world from people who are

on our list

the ways not to kill other living beings

like you're talking about

and some of the stuff we just got it

just she just

it's wonderful it's

look at your mind

so treat him with compassion

and letting go outside

but until then i tell them not to come

inside

you're not giving them love you're

giving them a version

i mean talk to another person with a

version and see how much they pay

attention to what you say

why do you think an animal is going to

be any different

and why do you have to make it go

outside it's not going to bother you

it's because i don't like i

don't like

i don't like this i don't want it here

and then you sweeping it on a

dust pan and putting it in something i

have all these containers around

and every year there would be a lot of

wasp come in and lay their eggs

inside the trailer and i would be

paying attention to the computer writing

this writing that

and she would walk in and she would look

up and there'd be 75

wasps

so she walked out

and i looked up and i went oh okay and i

went back to work

i don't care if they're there they're

not gonna bother me

it really took me over a year to go in

the trailer

to get something from him and not

emanate fear

i talk to them nicely i let them know

that they can be there as long as they

want as long as they don't bother me and

they don't

most of them just want to go outside

anyway so sometimes i'll catch them and

say okay go outside

and they're happy when they get outside

i don't get stung by it

it's okay for them to be there

that is practicing compassion isn't it

or would you rather practice your hatred

your dislike

your fear your anxiety about it

look at how these states cause

dissatisfaction to arise in you

how pain arises in you

it's your choice to either keep it or

let it go

but can i just use the magic just

basically

still don't do that

i don't know of anybody's house that

doesn't have

spiders in it

and most people they don't even they're

not even troubled by it they get up in

the ceiling

you can't hardly see them so why bother

with it

every now and then you can sweep the

ceiling and get rid of the cobwebs

it doesn't matter it only matters

if you make it better and if you make it

matter

who doesn't like that situation

who is causing their own pain

this is the changing monastery in carmel

new york

and this is the last evening of the

retreat with venerable vimala ramsey

and the talk tonight is meta in daily

life

how to take your practice back into

daily life

and uh it is november the

27th 2007.

before i start talking about mental

daily life there's a question that's

asked quite often

about how do you know what kind of

teacher that you need to

practice with and the buddha happened to

answer that and he

also answered what kind of training you

should do

and what kind of exertion you should put

into your practice

so i'm going to read these three very

briefs

this is suita number 82

a teacher in the

san diego at sawati

monks one who does not know and see

as it actually is aging and

death its origin

its cessation and the way leading to the

cessation

should find a teacher in order to know

this

as it actually is

now for the first part

is it says

you need to find someone who knows and

sees

as it actually is aging and death

this is the first part of the noble

truth this is the first

noble truth then it says it's origin

that's the second noble truth and it

says

it's cessation that's the third noble

truth

and the way leading to cessation is the

fourth noble truth

now this occurs

with every one of the links of dependent

origination

so you have the four humble truths

mixed in with dependent

origination

amongst one who does not know and see as

it actually is birth existence

craving feeling contact the success

bases

mentality materiality consciousness

formations their origin their cessation

in the way leading to the cessation

should search for a teacher in order to

know this

as it actually is

so right here is telling you the kind of

teacher that you need to look for

someone who knows and sees dependent

origination

who can tell you about dependent

origination

in practical terms

then it says the training monks

one who does not know and see as it

actually is

aging and death their origin

cessation and weight leading to the

cessation

and then goes through this whole list

again

i should practice the training in order

to know it

as it actually is

so it's saying right here that

this is the way to practice

you practice by seeing how dependent

origination

actually works with your meditation

and in daily life

how do you exert mom amongst one who

does not know

and see as it actually is aging and

death

and then it goes through the whole thing

again

birth existence cleaning creating

feeling

contact the success basis

mentality materiality consciousness

formations

their origin cessation and way leading

to their cessation

should arouse desire

enthusiasm

be unremitting arouse

harder apply energy

practice perseverance i could

change the word perseverance to patience

practice mindfulness practice clear

comprehension

practice diligence in order to know it

as it really is

this is where your insights are with

dependent origination

so this gives you an idea of

what the buddha was actually talking

about and what he was most interested in

teaching

and he wanted all of his all of the

people that were

teaching the buddha's path to know

and understand dependent origination and

how it works

and how it arises

what's the origin of it what's the

cessation of it

and what's the way leading to the

cessation

so you're going to be going off of

retreat

very soon this is your last night

and another question that's asked quite

often

is okay we've been sitting here

sending loving kindness to our spiritual

friend and ourselves for the whole week

now what do we do when we get off

retreat

you send loving kindness to everybody

after the whole week i've been drumming

into you

got a smile i want you to smile all the

time

i want you to smile i don't care how you

feel

that was one of the observations that we

had when

somebody was writing to me about

learning to smile i told him he had to

smile for a solid week i didn't want him

to practice

meditation and then when

he started writing he came back and i

said

how's your mindfulness now he said it's

really amazing

i can see my mind when it starts to get

hard

and when i don't feel like smiling i

smile

anyway and my mindfulness picks up

your definition of mindfulness being

remembering to observe how mind's

attention

moved from one thing to another

the more you cultivate your smiling with

your daily activities

the more you will be able to experience

joy

when you have joy in your mind

your mind is uplifted your mind is very

alert and your mind is agile

so when your mind starts to get heavy

you can notice that

and then what

ah

six hours

recognize release

relax re-smile

return repeat this

whole thing staying with your object of

meditation

now what's your object of meditation

with your daily life

practice your smiling give your smile

away

as much as you possibly can

give it to other people when you

they see you smiling they will smile

back and how does that make them feel

their mind is more alert so you're

helping them

to have an uplifted mind

now when you get up and

how many people at the start of the

retreat i said

i want you all to practice right before

you go to sleep

to make a determination

that you wake up in the morning smiling

with a happy mind how many people did

that

wow i'm embarrassed i didn't think you

paid

now keep that determination going

make a determination that you're going

to smile

just as you wake up and have a happy

mind

and then keep that happy mind going

then you go into the bathroom and you

wash your face and brush your teeth

and all of that sort of thing take care

of your bodily needs

keep smiling

keep your mind light

then you go and you gotta brush your

teeth

right at some point some people brush

your teeth as soon as they get up some

people brush their teeth right after

they eat their breakfast

you gotta smile anyway right

so put the smile in your mind

put the smile in your heart

then you

do your sitting meditation do you say

meditation in the morning at least for

30 minutes

if you have time and the meditation is

good

sit longer but at least 30 minutes

now this is 30 minutes without moving

your body

okay i don't care if you sit in a chair

i don't care if you sit on the floor

it's up to you

but don't sit in too comfortable

a chair or if you sit on the couch and

it's real squishy and real

comfy that's a good a good way to go

back to sleep

so the picking chair is not overly

soft and don't lean heavily

into it you want to put you want to put

your back so that it's nice and straight

have fun with your meditation

it really is fun to wish your friend

well and think kind

thoughts to your friend

you can't be critical of yourself

when you're following the buddha's path

that's

unwholesome that's unwholesome thoughts

you want to be kind to yourself

spend the first 10 minutes sending

loving and kind thoughts to yourself

the rest of the time to your spiritual

friend

now you get up and you you're done with

your meditation

and you keep your smile going

and you walk out to the car and get in

the car and drive to work

now the time that you it took you to go

from your front door to the car

what are you doing with your mind

thinking this thinking that ho-hum

just more risked for the mill

wish somebody happiness you can wish all

beings happiness

keep your smile going get into the car

don't focus on your spiritual friend

your object of meditation now is smiling

and it's real

easy to pay very good attention to your

driving while you're smiling

although people that might pass you

think you're a little crazy

because you're smiling but that's okay

what happens when you get in a traffic

jam

how many people really

become angry oh i gotta get to work i

don't like this this is really not

good

you're developing all of these

unwholesome thoughts

all of these dissatisfactions you're not

smiling now you're starting to worry

because i'm gonna be late

okay so where are you

are you in the car sitting being happy

or are you projecting what's going to

happen in the present moment

in the future moments

what happens when you start feeling like

you're being pushed as you start leaning

from the present moment

a little bit into the present into the

future moment

to the next moment and you're not

completely here now

when you get into your worry that's an

unwholesome state

and whose worry is it

that's mine i can't be late

oh i'll get in so much trouble

and all of on and on you just

and all of a sudden you're not even

close to the present moment anymore

now you're a thousand miles away

thinking about this

and thinking about that coming back to

the worry thinking about this coming

back to the worry

causing yourself all kinds of suffering

don't do that to yourself

there is nothing out there that

causes your suffering

you cause your own

suffering and

when you use the six cars

and come back into the present moment if

you haven't really let go of that worry

you're still gonna be leaning and then

your mind's gonna go away again

so you use the six hours again

take a look in the mirror what's your

face doing

is it smiling gotcha

so you you are caught in a traffic jam

everybody else around you is stop take a

look at their faces

where is their mind what is their mind

doing you know very well

because you just got through with that

are they happy or are they suffering

do you want to help them with their

suffering

smile radiate some

happiness

time goes by at the same speed whether

you're suffering or whether you're happy

so you might as well be happy

right you might as well smile into this

now you get to work

and you get out of the car and you walk

into work

what are you doing with your mind

oh i'm thinking about all the things i

gotta do when i get there

i i i

why don't you start radiating loving

kindness

to everybody clearing work

smile give them that happy feeling

walk into the door with a smile and

happiness

then you can help them have a good

day

be the example

smile as often as you can remember to

and when you forget you can't criticize

yourself

just start over again

this is a game and you have to treat it

like a game

and sometimes you're gonna forget and

that's okay

it's not a problem to forget

what you want to do is remember

that's part of the mindfulness isn't it

remember to come back and watch how

mine's attention is

what it's doing in the present moment

somebody calls you on the telephone

i recommend very highly that you have

a little mirror right by the phone

and it says smile

i'll tell you something that happened i

was in washington dc

and there was a girl that she was

working

with senator lieberman when he was

running for vice president

and what she did was put the makeup on

before he went

out he was going to be having this big

discussion

with dick cheney

and she'd been practicing with me for a

while

and i've given her one of these mirrors

that says smile on it she carried it

with her

and joe lieberman is very

much worried and a lot of anxiety

and he's really nervous

about what is he going to say and how is

he going to say

it and she saw him and she

started telling him things that i told

her

about smiling and how much easier it is

to let go

of the restlessness and the worry

and he's kind of yeah yeah yeah

so she pulls out the mirror and she

sticks it in front of his face and she

said you have to do what it says on the

mirror

and he started smiling and his mind

let go of the restlessness and let go of

the worry

and he had a good laugh

now he went out and had a debate with

dick cheney i don't

i don't follow politics and i don't

watch tv

but from what she said that was the best

debate

of the whole campaign because they

weren't

fighting with each other they were just

talking about what their ideas

were that needed to happen

and it was great

so i affected the world

in a positive way just because i told

them

they need to smile and somebody took it

seriously

well i i haven't ran out

right now i'll get some but you can do

it for yourself

nail polish works real good put a smile

on it

now you put this by the phone

every time you talk on the phone

look in the mirror and start smiling

and as you're talking you

look occasionally to see whether you're

smiling or not

and if you're not then just start

smiling again

the person on the other side of the line

really likes that

and you start having more success with

your business things because your mind

is uplifted by

smiling

make the smile part of your daily

activities

give the smile away even through the

phone line

the smile goes through and the other

person will start smiling

and you know what it's what it feels

like to stand in front of a mirror and

smile for five minutes right

how many people started laughing after

they were there for a couple of minutes

it's great

there are going to be hindrances

that arise in your daily activities

that's not a maybe that's yeah it's

going to happen your mindfulness is

going to slip and you're going to get

caught anxiety fear

depression whatever the catch of the day

happens to be

anger

now

please try to remember

that when you

laugh at being

caught by this mental state

you're no longer caught by it

when you laugh and it doesn't have to be

a big laugh

and you don't even have to laugh out

loud

but when you have your sense of humor

about

how crazy your mind is when the

hindrance arises

that hindrance is where your

ego identification is

i am that i am

this anxiety i am this fear i am

this anger when you have a chuckle about

how you got

caught by that it goes from

i am that to

it's only this it's only this anger is

only this feeling what's that

relax smile

have fun with life

i know this is really odd coming from a

buddhist monk

have fun

why look at what it does with your mind

i don't mean for you to have

uncontrollable laughter

and have tears coming down your face

because something is funny

but what happens is you start to develop

this little kind of chuckle

and with the chuckle that

helps change your perspective from i am

that to his own what's the big deal

about this

let it go

so the hindrance are grounded they are

going to arise

but on this retreat i've worked real

hard

to show you that the hindrances

are your friend not your enemy

the hindrances are there to show you

where your attachment

is

so you can six r with the hindrance

and every time you let go of the

hindrance

you've let go of craving

when you let go of craving there is no

more clinging

there is no more nonsense

stuff that pulls you further and further

away from what you're doing in the

present moment

when you let go of clinging when you

relax and you start smiling

into whatever there is in the present

moment

you have a wholesome mind

and with that wholesome mind comes

clarity

and then it's real easy to stay

smiling and happy for periods of time

that will get longer and longer as you

practice

the buddha said that meditation

there's three parts to meditation

first is practicing your generosity

now is that when you practice generosity

there's three parts to the generosity

when you're preparing a gift prepare it

with a happy mind

while you're giving the gift give it

with

a happy mind and after you've given the

gift

reflect on having done something

that's really nice with a happy mind

now do we give we can

give with our speech we can give with

our actions

and we can deal with our mind

when you're smiling you're practicing

your generosity

and you're helping other people around

you

not just a little bit a lot

when you say things that are kind to

other people and you make them smile

by saying it that's a wonderful gift

you're practicing your generosity

practice your generosity as much as you

can during the day

if you're waiting in line at the grocery

store

and you see that the

the girl the cashier girl your guide

whichever it happens to be

the cashier is

having kind of a hard time and they're

not smiling

then say something that will help them

to find relief so they don't suffer so

much say

something that will help them to smile

practice your generosity

practice it often

give your smile away as many times in

the day as you possibly can

that's good generosity

and it's fun

one of my favorite things to do is to be

in a grocery store where there's a

little

kid sitting in the

basket and they're

grumpy they're crying

i'd love to make them smile

and when i make them smile

mother's minds all of a sudden i'm a

favorite of the mother

and it's fun and some of the little

children

they can they can do things that are

just wonderful

and that makes me laugh

practice your generosity

keep it going as much as you can

remember

now when you start making life a game

then it's easy to make gains of your

generosity

be creative have that

uplifted mind that's what the eightfold

path is all about

having this uplifted mind

that leads to the cessation of suffering

not only for you but other people around

you

the more creative you can be

with your generosity

the more enthusiasm you have to share

with other people

now one of the things that happens

especially on retreat especially if

you've been

somewhat successful you want to get off

retreat and you want to tell

everybody about this and i suggest that

you don't tell

anybody i suggest that you be the

example

and when they come up and ask you

then you can give them some small things

like say oh i just practice smiling for

a week

i just practice being happy for a week

they'll see that your face is brilliant

they'll see that there's no tension in

your face they'll see that your face

is glowy

and they want some of that

so you don't have to try to convince

anybody of anything

all you have to do is be the example

and smile and

they'll come and ask you more and more

i had a lot of students in malaysia

and some of the students every time i

gave a retreat they came to the retreat

i have no idea how they did that with

their work and family and all of that

but they

figured it out

and after they got to a very

nice stage in their meditation they

would go into work

and they would just do their work

and they would be happy and then

all of their work may say you're

different

what are you doing that makes you so

different now

you don't get upset so easy you don't

yell at people you don't get angry at

people now

you have this smile on your face and

everything is a lot easier

what are you doing and then they would

say well i practice

in meditation with this mom

oh well the next time that happens let

me know i want some of that too

see that's that's a mistake that some of

the religions make

they think that they have to go out and

convince somebody

that what they have is really good

i don't want you to convince anybody

i want you to be the example

now another part of the meditation

is keeping your precepts

now tomorrow morning i'm going to give

you five or maybe six i'm not sure

precepts

okay they're just basic suggestions

that when you follow these this leads to

a

happy peaceful mind

don't kill or harm anything don't take

anything that's not

given don't have any wrong sexual

activity

don't tell lies even little tiny white

lies

just to make somebody feel good

don't use harsh speech

that means a person

don't take drugs and alcohol

when i was in malaysia i was giving this

talk to somebody and they finally said

okay you have been convinced

how long do i have to do this

so i said well we can start at 100 years

and go up from there

keeping your precepts and

keeping them very closely

is a general way of practicing

your mindfulness of

watching what you do before you do it

and if you break a preset

it will affect your mind

in such a way that hindrances will

come up and then you have to work with

that

it causes remorse

to come up you say something

that you know is not true your mind says

right then

very quietly i shouldn't have said that

i know it's not true

but then you kind of shine it on and say

ah

go on about your daily activities and

then a hindrance comes along and knocks

you off balance for a while

that is directly because you broke the

preset

so what do you do if you accidentally

break a preset

right then you've got what you're doing

you go out by yourself take the precepts

again

i undertake to keep the precept not to

kill or harm living beings not to take

what's not given

not to have wrong sexual activity

not to tell lies in her speech not to

take drugs and alcohol

and then make the determination in your

mind

that you're not going to break the

precepts again

but you've got to forgive yourself

one of the beauties about buddhism is

that we don't really like to hang on

with guilt that's for other religions

so

forgive yourself for making a mistake

forgive yourself for not being perfect

at this

take the precepts again with the clear

mind

that now i'm not going to break the

precept again

i highly recommend that every morning

you take the five presets

you can do it in front of the buddha

image if you have a booty image

you can do it just by yourself

if you want to it's up to you

it's not a right and ritual

you're taking the precepts as the

reminder for the day not to break the

precepts

it makes it a conscious effort

now when you practice keeping the

precept over a period of time

and then you sit and you start doing

your meditation

you will not have so many hindrances

arise

and still will come up a bit

now you remember the story that i told

you a while back

i had a student in malaysia she had

never meditated before

she kept the precepts closely her whole

life

she wouldn't even consider saying

something that wasn't true

she spent her time helping other people

being generous with material things

and then she came and she said i've

heard that

about your meditation i want to learn it

she never meditated before she came to a

retreat

the first day of the retreat and gave

the instructions

after lunch i came up to her and said

how's your meditation going and she said

i understand

the instructions but i can only sit for

45 minutes

only is the clue so i said why not why

don't you sit longer

she said you know i'm not used to

sitting on the floor

and my knees are killing me and i can

only stand in for 45 minutes

so i said well there's no real magic on

the floor

sit in the chair just don't lean into

the chair

her next sitting was four hours she got

into the first

jhana the first day she ever practiced

meditation

that's pretty impressive so much so i

wanted to go up to her

hit her in the back of the head and say

nobody's supposed to be that good

in the weekend she really progressed

quickly

why she didn't have a guilty mind

she didn't have remorse of her actions

she'd already been practicing practicing

a general form of

mindfulness her whole life

and that's what one of the things that

says in the sentence

when you keep your meditating you keep

your precepts very closely

your mind will become peaceful and calm

very quickly

so it's your choice i mean do you want

to keep your

precepts or not well i'll keep all of

them but this time

you can do that but don't look forward

to having

great meditation

that's part of meditation it's

part of living

making the conscious decision

to keep the precepts no matter what

i had some students

that their job was being a salesman

and they said well you know there's

times

when i have to say things that aren't

true and i said

why well then i wouldn't sell

this if i if i said that if i

if i said something that's not true i

could sell it if i don't say it they

won't buy it

and i said you know that's a real

short-term

advantage that you think that you have

but when they find out that you didn't

tell them

the truth do you think you're going to

be able to sell to them again

anytime soon

when you start to get the reputation as

a salesman

of being honest

that will perceive you and people will

trust

you so

it's your choice now i also had some

students

they the chinese were truly wonderful

people

and they said you know i wanna

practice the buddha's path

and i wanna get rich

what's the fastest way to get rich

so what's the answer to that

practice your generosity keep your

precepts

develop your mind so that you have a

happy mind

then you're rich whether you have a lot

of material things or not

you will have more and more friends

who honestly trust you and your judgment

and isn't that being rich

keeping the precepts is a very

necessary part of your meditation

learning how to let go of

the hindrances when they arise so they

don't knock you over

for as long a period of time

now i told you that there was a lady

that

she came into the monastery i was

staying at

as soon as she walked in the door i

wanted to walk out the back door i mean

she was she had a cloud of negativity

around her

but she came to talk with me

so i had to be there

so she comes up and she said

i have three children

i'm living with my husband my husband is

so

angry with me that he said i'm never

going to talk to you again

and he doesn't and it made her mad

and i said well how long will you get

angry how long do you stay

angry when he does something that you

don't like and she said oh a couple of

weeks anyway

wow who wants to live with somebody like

that

and hold a grudge for two weeks

make your life miserable for two weeks

because

you do something that somebody else

doesn't like that's tough

she said i i want to do something so i

don't have these problems

the anger is just tearing me up my body

feels bad

i don't eat i don't sleep very well

what can i do so i told her how to

practice loving kindness meditation

she could only practice for about 20

minutes a day

because she had three kids she was real

active and they were

from i think five years up to teenage so

she was taking them every place and

taking care of them and

taking care of the house and that sort

of thing so she was real busy

so she got up an extra half an hour

early

before the kids got up so that she could

sit in meditation

she went from his doing his her husband

doing something that really got him

got her men

she went from being angry for two weeks

to being angry for 10 days that's a

major improvement

not bad as she

continued doing that and coming and

talking to me and i kept on telling her

that she has to learn to smile more and

be

happy over a period of time

she went from being angry for 10 days to

angry for seven days

and then angry for five days

and then angry for two days

and then angry for a few hours

after a long period of time

because she could only do this

meditations short period of time every

day

her personality development was such

that he would do something and she would

stay

angry for two or three minutes

and then see the pain she was causing

herself and let it go

she learned how to relax into it she

learned how to smile

into it for instance

she was with her husband they went to a

store

he drove her to the store stop she said

this will not take me any more than five

minutes please wait

she walked in the store and drove away

she came out five minutes later

where'd he go and she saw this anger

starting to come up and she went

well you know it's a beautiful day i

might as well walk

so she walked on

and

she had fun walking home

she wasn't holding on to the grudge she

wasn't

even thinking about him anymore

she was in the present moment she was

enjoying the walk

she saw birds that she hadn't seen for a

while

she saw new flowers

this is a gradual training

and it is a personality development

if you hold on to certain ideas about

this is who i am and this is the way i'm

going to act always

you can look forward to a lot of

suffering

if you're willing to change

if you're willing to let go of your

hindrances

and attachments and concepts

of the way you think the world is

in other words you let go of your

craving

you'll start to see wonderful things

happening

all around you you'll start to see

how your mind is uplifted all the time

you'll start to have more and more

joy in your life

now an interesting thing with joy

is it is the middle factor

of the enlightenment factors it's the

balancing

factor isn't that interesting

what are the enlightenment factors

mindfulness enlightenment factor

remembering to observe

investigation of your experience

to let go of the distraction

relax smile come back

to the present moment smile

how did your mind go from smiling

to this hindrance

it didn't all of a sudden just jump

there

from what we've learned from dependent

origination there's a lot of little

steps that happened

before your mind got distracted

as you investigate how that

happened you start saying that right

before your mind really got carried away

for a period of time there was something

else that was there

and then you start letting go when that

arises are you starting to investigate

as you investigate how

mind's attention moves you start

having more energy and enthusiasm

in doing the practice

every time you let go of a hindrance

there's a feeling of relief why do you

have a feeling of relief

because you've let go of the false idea

that that hindrance is yours

your mind has relief in it

joy rises

why because

that enlightenment factor although it's

different

than being in the drama

this enlightenment factor is

not the excited real over

happy kind of joy this is a more

peaceful kind of joy

when you go deep enough in your

meditation

this kind of joy will arise

and when this arises it's called

all-pervading joy it's like

taking a picture of water and just

filling it up

filling this cup up and it's over

running there's not

one part of the cup that doesn't have

water touching

it this kind of joy is like that

every cell in your body feels this joy

it's really nice but it doesn't have the

excitement

of the lower dramas

this enlightenment factor of joy

helps you to see with clarity

what's happening in the present moment

and if a disturbance starts to

arise you'll recognize it

you can let it go before it comes all

the way up to the surface

it takes practice this is a gradual

training

it's not going to happen to you after

one week of retreat

but you have the tools now

so that you can practice when you go

home

right after joy when that feeling

fades away you feel very very strong

tranquility

very peaceful you feel

your mind is very collected and unified

stays on your object of meditation

easily

you see your mind has this very strong

balance in it

that's the seven factors of

enlightenment

that's something that everybody can

experience

if in practice practice

what smiling

in your six hours

easy right except when you forget

and you're going to i promise you you

will forget

and that's okay to forget but when you

remember

don't keep staying involved with

the hindrance let go of that

relax smile and continue smiling

then your mind starts to have the sense

of balance

and clarity that you've never run across

before

you start looking at all kinds of

different things and you start really

seeing them you see

flowers you see the colors it's

wonderful that keep your attention for a

moment

then there's something else

you don't get caught by the clinging

when you look at a flower which means

thinking about it

you see it for what it is it's very

beautiful it's very wonderful

okay what else is next i'm ready

this is what the buddha's path is all

about it's about the personality

development so that you can be happy

all the time when you go to asia

they're a lot happier than we are

even though say in burma they have this

this government that's really

hoarded but they can still get together

and they can smile and they can laugh

they've been practicing this for

thousands of years

so

let's start one smile at a time

and build on that as much as you can

that leads to clarity that leads to true

mindfulness

that leads to your being able to see

how dependent origination arises

all the time it's not

me it takes practice

but the practice is fun

and the more you start to see the more

enthusiasm you have

and the more you want to see and that

really gets by

i've been practicing this for

over 30 years and i've never been bored

and i'm always saying new things in new

ways

i'm getting insights that are truly

remarkable

it doesn't matter whether i'm sitting in

meditation or doing something else

insides will come and the insights are

always how this process works

it's really good

when you

are dealing with your family

the more laughter

and the more fun you have with your

family

the more they will appreciate

how your mind is changing and

they'll start to see this balance that

comes in

it's kind of like i told you we had we

were parked in a parking lot

somebody ran into the truck

bent up there's no getting around it

and we walked out and we looked and we

went

look at that isn't that something

we didn't get angry and this is came on

you didn't get angry we didn't get upset

we didn't worry about how to fix it

ah okay let's get in the car and go

that's when we're coming here it's more

important to be

here than to worry about that

it'll get fixed

but we don't have to worry about it

we don't have to get angry because this

happened

it just happened that's the way it works

sometimes

so you repair what needs to be repaired

and continue on

but what happens if you buy a brand new

car

and you let your neighbor drive it

and he comes back with a scratch all the

way along the side

what does that do to your mind

do you have anything in your mind

i don't think so

but when you practice you stop having

these

emotional swings i like it i

don't like it i like it i

don't like it

this is one of the reasons why you have

to have so much sleep during the day

or during the night as a case may be

i have to have eight hours or else i'm

not worth anything

why because i spend my whole day liking

and disliking liking this like

as you keep on this path

and you smile into things and you start

to have fun

with things you will naturally

need less sleep i'm not telling you to

stop

taking so much sleep it will happen all

by itself

you're just not as tired

and your day seems to be filled with all

kinds of

more interesting things when you have

balance in your mind

people become angry

that's their anger i don't have to take

it i don't have to make it mine

i can love them

that's the way you want to practice your

daily activities

love everybody that you see

and i'm not talking about

sensual love i'm talking about

unconditioned love just wish them well

this is something that everybody wants

and they can't get enough of it

so give it to them as much as you can

practice

and with that practice what happens to

your mind

you start getting more balance you start

seeing when

you get knocked off balance and you're

not caught for islam

when this was years ago i think it was

1976 menindra

came to america menindra was

joseph goldstein's teacher in india

he's a little indian man about 4 feet

11.

had an ice cream cap he had a white cap

chained his head

or white robes

he came and he gave a one-month deposit

retreat

after that everybody left and he decided

he was going to give

the staff of which i was part

a two-week mentor retreat

so we did a two-week mentor retreat with

him

and some of the things he kept saying

over and over again

was how it affects the world around you

so after we did that

i decided that i wanted to test this on

my own

so i went into a huge shopping mall

i mean it was it was like a saturday it

was

crowded and i walked around

with a grumpy face

everybody i saw i just frowned

and everybody was giving me the same

kind of face back

so i thought ah okay we know that part

works

so i sat down on a bench i closed my

eyes

i started smiling and just started

radiating happy feelings to everybody

around me

and i started feeling eyes

looking at me you know how that happens

so i thought there's something happening

i gotta find out what it is and i

opened up my eyes and there was 10 or 12

complete strangers

smiling with me

and i thought okay this stuff really

works

don't believe me try it yourself

when i was in thailand i was on a bus

and i thought well there's an awful lot

of people and they're

kind of all doing whatever they're doing

while they're riding on the bus why

don't i radiate some loving kindness to

them so i started radiating loving

kindness and

everybody on the bus turned around and

started looking at me

and the guy that was driving the bus was

looking in the rear-view mirror

while i was driving and then i thought

this is not a good thing so

they fall down

i wanted him to pay attention to driving

not watch me while i was radiating

it's amazing to see how this stuff

works experiment with it

try it in all different ways

animals love this stuff

i was in a monastery one time and there

they had a dog and i truly loved dogs

and i bent down and i touched it and it

turned around and started snapping at me

and i thought wow that's interesting

so i radiated some loving kindness to it

because i knew that it was suffering

and then went on and

did whatever i was going to do these

monks were showing me around

and we had to go through this very

narrow place where there were some

some fairly good-sized rocks about as

tall as this table

and as we're going through this narrow

little

place this dog runs and he jumps and he

gets on the rock

and as i walk by the dog started licking

my hand

isn't that amazing what happened

what's the difference

it went from being shocked and trying to

bite me

to licking my hand just because i

radiated loving kindness i

had compassion for that being because it

was suffering

it happens with all kinds of animals it

happens with all kinds of people

you know when you when you get into this

meditation you go to sleep very

easily very quickly

i always say by my right side always

i can read a book and say okay

put it down get on my right right side i

toss and turn

for a good two three seconds before i'm

asleep

when i sleep i sleep very soundly

i don't wake up tossing and turning i

don't wake up during the night

when i wake up in the morning

my mind's alert i don't

fumble around and mumble and bump into

things and

i'm alert i'm awake okay

i'm ready and i'm smiling because

i'm happy to get up

these are some of the advantages of

practicing this meditation

there are a lot of other advantages like

your face becomes very beautiful when

you're smiling

if you don't believe it carry that

mirror around and wait to get in a fight

with somebody

and then pull the mirror out and see

what your face looks like

it's ugly

so there's all of these different

advantages for

practicing

and they all lead to

wholesome states uplifted states

and that leads directly to

clarity and it

your observation power becomes much

greater and you start seeing how

dependent origination works with

everything

and that's what the boon suggested that

we learn

how do we learn by being observant

by seeing it in everything

you become more content

material things yeah yeah yeah yeah okay

you know what's happened in this country

since i've been back i left for 12 years

i

came back i started noticing that just

about

everybody likes to go to the store and

buy something new

and they're buying this junk that falls

apart

after using it once or twice so then

they can go to the store

and buy something else new

what are they doing when they do that

they're trying to get in a little bit of

happiness it's very fleeting it doesn't

last

smiling lasts a lot longer

they're trying to distract themselves

away from the suffering that they're

having

rather than look at the suffering

see how it arises and let it go

it's much easier to go to the store and

buy this cheap little

thing and then i can be happy for two or

three minutes

you become content what does content

mean when you look it up in the

dictionary what does content mean

i did that one night it means you're

happy isn't that something

you're happy with your situation you're

happy in the present moment

the more you smile into things

the less pain there is

when i was in malaysia we used to have

this

newspaper that every wednesday they

printed

a section in the middle of the newspaper

that was only

positive news it was great stuff

and they had a lot of articles

scientific

articles on what happens in your body

when you laugh how healthy is

that for you it's amazing

it affects your whole body in a very

positive way

now at one point i used to do

a lot of carpentry that means

hammer and nails

and sometimes my mindfulness wasn't as

good as it could have been

and i'd hit my thumb

when that happened before i started any

kind of

mental development i used to get really

angry

and i used to hate that feeling and boy

it would really

throb it would really hurt

then i found out through some mental

training

that if i had a pain

horizon my body and i started

smiling into that pain and loving

that place where the pain is

that the pain didn't last for so long

and it's amazing

after a while it hit my thumb and i'd go

oh

okay now i'm back to work doing whatever

i'm doing

and a few hours later i look at my

finger

and there's this great big blue thing

under my fingernail

well look at that how'd that happen

oh i remember i hit it

now what happens if

you have aversion

to a pain a rise

in your mind it shuts

down the blood vessels

in your brain because the aversion

causes you to contract right

and that shuts down the

pineal gland where the endorphins are

stored

and the endorphins are your body

painkiller

your natural painkiller it's about 10

times stronger than more

morphine so you have this light if you

have this satisfaction

then that pain doesn't go away

and it will stay there for a long period

of time i can remember hitting my thumb

and not being able to use that thumb for

a week and a half

or so because it was just too tender

but when i started putting love

into that what am i doing i'm relaxing

my mind

and when i relax my mind the blood

vessels start

flowing very nicely the endorphins come

out into my body and that's the natural

painkiller

so in a few minutes there's no pain

every time you have pain arise in your

body i don't care what kind of pain it

is

your body is telling you right

then right there you need to love me

you need to send acceptance and love

into that sensation

then the painkiller starts coming in the

natural painkiller

and then it becomes terrible

and then before long you even forget

about it

because it doesn't hurt anymore

they found this out when there were a

lot of people

were skiing and somebody would fall down

and they would

hurt their ankle but they were having so

much fun that they'd get up

and then go ski some more and at the end

of the day they sit down

and they look at their ankle and it's

huge

did that happen oh i fell on didn't it

but they walk without even limp after

straining their ankle

this is pretty amazing stuff

the more love you can put

into negative things

the easier it is to let go of those

negative things

we read this every day hatred can

never be overcome by hatred in this

world

hatred can only be overcome by love

i like to change that sometimes

and say aversion can never be

overcome by aversion

aversion can only be overcome

by loving acceptance

the more you put love

into the pain the less the pain

hurts

now it's not necessarily going to make

the pain go away but it's going to make

it much more

bearable

i mean i i have done some weird things

with nail guns i've nailed my

fingers to the boards and that sort of

thing

and it was painful and i had to

pull it out somehow and there's this

hole in my finger

there was pain and then it was okay for

it to be there

now i'll give you another for instance

see that's overdue okay i was in burma

and a dentist said he was gonna clean my

teeth

he was gonna do me a favor by cleaning

my teeth and he broke it

now he said

well we're going to have to do a root

canal

in burma they don't change their

utensils

they work on your teeth they work on

your teeth they don't wash it

in between the times and then they come

and they work on my teeth

so i'm saying i don't want any aids

thank you

i don't want you messing around with any

needles in this mouth

and i made sure that he boiled

everything before he used it but i said

go ahead and drill i don't need any

paint color

have you ever had a ring now you know

how it feels

try it without painkillers

so he was drilling along and all of a

sudden he hit this place and i

jumped out of the seat about four inches

without moving

and i see that my hands are really tight

on the handles you know and

all of my muscles and my shoulders and

my back

and my buttocks and my legs they're all

tight like a rock

and i looked at that and i went well

that's interesting

so i started going around and relaxing

everything

and

oh look at that i'm doing it again so

i made it my meditation

to relax into

whatever sensation it was

and i even had time

to send loving and kind thoughts

to the person it was causing me the pain

now he he drilled for what seemed like

hours

but it was only about 15 or 20 minutes

and when he stopped

my mind was clear

i wasn't holding on to the dislike of

the pain i kept letting that pain go i

kept relaxing all of the pain in my body

in my mind and i was focusing on loving

kindness

as soon as he stopped

i was happy i wasn't happy because he

stopped

necessarily

but i was happy for a good day and a

half

after that

my mind was bright my mind was super

alert

because i didn't fight

whatever arose in the present moment i

was putting love

into it as much as i could

and as i got better at doing

it i started gaining more balance of

mine

you want to see how good your

mindfulness is try it

when you're doing any task

and you're not really thinking about it

that's when accidents occur

as you smile you become more in the

present moment

you start doing things and you do them

very well

you become very efficient with what

you're doing in the present moment

especially when you don't have any

resistance to what you're doing in the

present moment

i gotta watch the dishes how much do i

like doing that

no

but you gotta do it anyway so you try to

do it as fast as you can and then you

wind up dropping

things and breaking things

but let's take a look at that the

dislike of washing

dishes who doesn't like it

who doesn't want to do it

who's leaning out of the present moment

for the next moment so you won't have to

be in this moment

doing this because i don't want to do

that

see when you have your hindrance and you

lovingly accept the fact that it's

there you let go of that tight mental

fist

around that dislike

and then you relax

now you smile and washing the dishes

isn't so bad after all

and you don't break things

and you become very efficient in doing

it

when you have a version in your mind

you're not very efficient

one of the things that's truly amazing

is you know those kind of

days when you've got 25 things to do

and you've only got 20 minutes to do it

and you start doing this and then you

think oh my god i forgot this thing over

here and you leave that alone and come

over here and

do oh then there's i gotta go to that

okay that's the time when you need to

sit down and not move

and start practicing your loving

kindness

and letting go of that restless feeling

when you let go of the restless feeling

then you get up and you do this

done this

and you wind up getting everything done

because you're not thinking about

the next moment you're only being right

here

with what you're doing you become

super efficient you get

each one of those tasks done you still

have a few minutes left over

or you cannot do that and wind up with a

lot of problems

that need to be solved

and need to be taken care of it's your

choice

you see what the hindrances do to you

let go

you start becoming more efficient

now another thing that you can do with a

loving kindness

is if you have a meeting with your boss

or you have a meeting that's rather

important to you

and you start worrying about it

then stop for a few minutes and start

radiating loving kindness into the

meaning

radiate loving kindness

radiate loving kindness into yourself

and then let it go

relax

now go into the meeting and watch how

much more efficient you are

when you do that

and again that's your choice you can

start worrying about this

and whether i'm gonna say this or that

to this person and you can plan

it all out and it doesn't ever even come

close to what you've planned

which means that that was a waste of

time

the more you can focus on putting love

in

the situation the

easier everything becomes it's not

me

i was telling some guys today that

because i had a construction company

sometimes i got

jobs to do that i nobody else wanted to

do and i had to do it and it had to do

with plumbing

i really don't care for plumbing very

much

because i have a big body and everything

that has to do with plumbing is down

there and there's only

this much space to work in so it's not

an easy thing for me

so i have to screw this thing on here

and i

can't get it lined up right and i'm

doing it over and

i over again this i can't seem to do it

when i see that my mind has this

hindrance of dissatisfaction and

what do i do i stop what i'm doing

five minutes ready loving kindness

ah peaceful and calm

sudden love to myself send love to that

little thing that won't fit and then

go up and look at it go done

you can use loving kindness in anything

you can use loving kindness in any

situation

the trick is to remember to do it

now i promise that you're going to go

periods of time

hours and hours and hours where you

forgot

but every time you remember

it gets easier to remember because

everything

levels out everything smooths out

all of the worries and anxiety seem to

dissolve by themselves

so loving kindness is not

just what we would call a

sitting meditation

all life is meditation

all meditation is a part of life

practice with enthusiasm

having fun

and you will see how you start to change

your personality things that used to get

you angry they don't bother you so much

anymore

you start becoming more efficient with

what you're doing in the present moment

and that's fine in itself

and you start appreciating now

how do you know when you're advancing

spiritually

by your sense of humor

you start laughing with things

not at them you know how

almost all jokes are laughing at

somebody

or laughing at pain

when you start developing your sense of

humor

all of a sudden you start laughing with

everything but it's not

big belly laughs it's little ones

i got done with an eight-month retreat

somebody said they were gonna take me

from one place to another

in in malaysia

so i'm sitting in the car and i'm

looking out the window and i'm kind of

giggling

at everything that i see and they say

what are you laughing at

i said oh was i laughing

why are you laughing

because i'm happy

no other reason just because i'm happy

and before long they were starting to

see

things in a funny fun way too

i see two birds and they're they're

doing their little dance

great stuff

that's what the buddha's path is for

have this uplifted mind practice it as

much as you can remember

can't criticize yourself when you forget

just start over again that's why it

turns into a game

it's okay to start over again

nobody's gonna grade you

but you'll notice in yourself and other

people will start to notice

in you how your mind has

good balance in it how your mind is

uplifted

how your face has a smile

and they want some radiate loving

kindness to everybody you see

now when you're radiating loving

kindness

don't look people in the eye especially

opposite sex

you know what i mean

you can radiate loving kindness whether

you're looking at them or not

just don't look them in the eye because

that is misunderstood

unless you're really interested

okay so this is that last night of the

retreat

does anybody have any questions about

their practice and questions

made it so clear that nobody has any

questions at all

wow okay

like in my apartment they're always a

spider

so if i take the preset

no killing so how should i deal with

those

outside you spiders them go outside

actually

the united um has been collecting from

all over the world from people who are

on our list

the ways not to kill other living beings

like you're talking about

and some of the stuff we just got it

just she just

it's wonderful it's

look at your mind

so treat him with compassion

and letting go outside

but until then i tell them not to come

inside

you're not giving them love you're

giving them a version

i mean talk to another person with a

version and see how much they pay

attention to what you say

why do you think an animal is going to

be any different

and why do you have to make it go

outside it's not going to bother you

it's because i don't like i

don't like

i don't like this i don't want it here

and then you sweeping it on a

dust pan and putting it in something i

have all these containers around

and every year there would be a lot of

wasp come in and lay their eggs

inside the trailer and i would be

paying attention to the computer writing

this writing that

and she would walk in and she would look

up and there'd be 75

wasps

so she walked out

and i looked up and i went oh okay and i

went back to work

i don't care if they're there they're

not gonna bother me

it really took me over a year to go in

the trailer

to get something from him and not

emanate fear

i talk to them nicely i let them know

that they can be there as long as they

want as long as they don't bother me and

they don't

most of them just want to go outside

anyway so sometimes i'll catch them and

say okay go outside

and they're happy when they get outside

i don't get stung by it

it's okay for them to be there

that is practicing compassion isn't it

or would you rather practice your hatred

your dislike

your fear your anxiety about it

look at how these states cause

dissatisfaction to arise in you

how pain arises in you

it's your choice to either keep it or

let it go

but can i just use the magic just

basically

still don't do that

i don't know of anybody's house that

doesn't have

spiders in it

and most people they don't even they're

not even troubled by it they get up in

the ceiling

you can't hardly see them so why bother

with it

every now and then you can sweep the

ceiling and get rid of the cobwebs

it doesn't matter it only matters

if you make it better and if you make it

matter

who doesn't like that situation

who is causing their own pain