From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=CHu6TCOPzbM

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

foreign

well

it's last night

the last time attack

I hope you all had a really good retreat

it was fantastic working with you all

all of you

really

abided ardently like truly every one of

you so

fantastic

thank you

so tonight we're going to be doing suta

MN 61.

advice to rahula

this will be a little little different

Focus here tonight

um we'll be talking about dhamma and

meditation but we'll be also talking

about re-entry into our daily lives and

um

and that's what the focus will be on

as we return to our busyness

tomorrow

so rahula was the son of the Buddha

when

when the Buddha went on his quest for a

complete Awakening rahula was a newborn

and so the Buddha left shortly after his

birth

I often imagined that was as difficult

as

the any of the aesthetic practices in a

way

for the unenlightened bodhisattva to

leave his first one son

[Music]

was the Buddha

Buddha was back in his hometown

and at that time that's when they met

again

so rahulu's mother asked him to go speak

with his father

and ask for his inheritance

I believe what she meant was asking for

the Airship to the to the kingdom

for the Buddha's father was still alive

at the time so technically Buddha was

the Buddha was still the air

but instead the Buddha told sorry puta

to ordain him

and so he became a monk

and this began the vineyard rule of no

minor can be can become a monk without

their consent of their parents

rahula was first for foremost and

Desiring training

so that was he was very

exuberant about receiving the training

in this instance this suto was given

probably shortly after he was ordained

and it was given after an incident where

rahula gave incorrect directions to

someone looking for the Buddha

and so this is the Buddha talking to him

about that

that's what I heard

on one occasion the blessed one was

living in rajagaha in the Bamboo Grove

the the squirrel sanctuary

now on that occasion the venerable

rahulo was living in a umbalatica

then when it was evening the blessed one

rose from meditation

and went to the venerable rahula at

ambala Tikka

the venerable rahula saw the blessed one

coming in the distance

and made a seat ready and set out water

for washing the feet

the blessed one sat down on the seat

made ready and washed his feet

the venerable rahula paid homage to him

and sat down at one side

the blessed one left little water in the

water vessel

and asked the venerable rahula rahula do

you see this little water left in the

water vessel

yes venerable sir

even so little rahula is the requisite

of those who are not ashamed to tell a

deliberate lie

then the blessed one threw away the

little water

that was left and asked the venerable

rahula

rahula do you see that little water that

was thrown away

yes venerable sir

even so rahulam those who are not

ashamed to tell the deliberate lie have

thrown away their Reckless ship

The Vessel upside down and asked the

venerable rahula

rahula do you see this water vessel

turned upside down

yes venerable sir

even so rahula those who are not ashamed

to tell a deliberate lie have turned

their Reckless ship upside down

then the blessed one turned the water

vessel right way up again and asked the

vulnerable rahula

rahula do you see this hollow empty

water vessel

yes venerable sir

even so Hollow and empty rahula is the

requisite of those who are not ashamed

to tell a delivery lie

so this is a pretty pretty clear

admonishment

clear for a seven or eight-year-old with

a clear analogy

very direct I imagine it must have been

um

that there's no yelling

no punishment

like that

suppose Rahul

there were a royal tusker elephant with

tusks as long as Chariot poles full

grown in stature hybrid and accustomed

to battle

in battle he would perform his task with

his four feet and his hind feet

with his four quarters and his

hindquarters

with his head and his ears with his

tusks and his tail

yet he would keep back his trunk

then his rider would think

this Royal tusker elephant with tusks as

long as Chariot holes full grown in

stature hybrid and accustomed to battle

performs his task with his four freed

four feet and hind feet with his four

quarters and his hindquarters with his

head and his ears with his tusks and his

tail

yet he keeps back his trunk

he has not given up his life

but when the Royal tusker elephant

with tusks as long as Chariot poles

full grown and stature

hybrid and accustomed to battle

performs his tasks with his four feet

and his hind feet

with his four quarters and his

hindquarters

with his head and ears with his tusks

and tail and also with his trunk

than his writer would think

this Royal tusker elephant with tusks as

long as Chariot holes

full grown in stature hybrid accustomed

to battle

performs his tasks

in battle with his four four feet and

hind feet

with his four quarters and his

hindquarters

with his head in his ears with his tusks

and his tail

and also with his trunk

he has given up his life

now that there is nothing now there is

nothing that this Royal tusker would not

do

so too rahula when one is not ashamed to

tell a deliberate lie there is no evil I

say that one would not do

therefore rahulah you should train thus

I will not utter a falsehood even as a

joke

so this is a pretty clear teaching about

the fourth precept

um

no heart speech telling lies slander

speech and gossip

the fourth precept maybe seems like a

simple one but I think for many people

it can be challenging

because her speech is fast Her speech is

fast and it's connected to our thinking

and our thinking can be fast

and we have habits of making jokes that

are false that that is a habit

habits of can have habits of cursing

saying harsh things

and these habits are hard to hard to

break

so when you're telling lies or telling

things that are not true or saying

things that are not true

your mind doesn't really know the

difference

we know this with brain studies when you

read or say something part of your brain

thinks it's true

just assumes it's true because those

words were said

so part of your mind when you say

something like that has that image

Another Part of Your Mind knows that's

not true

and of course reality is not like that

too that's not how things are happening

and this sets up a big mental dissonance

between

what you say what you think and what you

were trying to accomplish

and this builds up

dissonance with time

people who are accustomed to lying often

lose track of what they really feel

about things or really think about

things and it can be hard to know what

their reality actually is

and so we have to change how we make our

jokes

or when we make a joke with a falsehood

immediately clarify it for ourselves and

others

it's an odd thing

it means Little White Lies are not that

helpful

yes we're seeing them in order to give

someone Comfort or pay them a compliment

or do something nice

and that is a good motivation

but it actually doesn't work out that

well

not only is it much nicer to receive a

compliment of something that is actually

true

yeah it's much better to really receive

a compliment of something that is true

rather than something you know

people are saying to be nice to you

it confuses your mind

and it sets up your meditation to be

less productive

and it's not always easy to say the

truth

and this is another reason why we don't

there are difficult truths to say

hard for us to face them and we have

concern they would be hard for someone

else to face them

in my professional life I have to talk

to people about difficult things

diagnoses that are new and challenging

outcomes that they are not interested in

hearing about at the moment

and it's always better to say what the

truth is clearly

that's what people actually want

they actually want you to be present

with them

as a person

facing the reality with them

and that's what we can do

with the meditation practice we can be

present

we are training to be present with

difficult things

we have had hindrances all week

some of them very painful

so we know what happens when we can

allow and accept the difficult thing

and we know what happens next

can we when we can allow and accept

other people's

difficult emotions

and challenging reaction with

spaciousness and loving kindness

we know what can happen next

even if you're not sure the person can

understand the truth

you should still should try to present

it as best you can

this doesn't mean her job is running

around

for proclaiming the bitter truth the

brutality of whatever it is as much as

possible yeah I know

you say what's appropriate at the time

it's appropriate

to the best of our ability

and that of course is a challenging

thing to do

and there are not many rules in the

dhamma exactly how to do that

we have guidelines

we know when we're with loving kindness

we are set to do that

we know when we're present

when we know when we're accepting we are

set to do that

and so this sutah talks a little bit

about

how to evaluate

what we do think and say

so we can become more and more skillful

and how we do those difficult things

and those fun things

what do you think rahula

what is the purpose of a mirror

the purpose of reflection vulnerable sir

so too rahula an action with the body

should be done after repeated reflection

an action by speech should be done after

repeated reflection

an action by mind should be done after

repeated reflection

rahula when you wish to do an action

with the body you should reflect upon

that same bodily action thus

would this action that I wish to do with

the body lead to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

is it an unpleasant unwholesome bodily

action with painful consequences and

painful results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I wish to do with the

body would lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences

with painful results

then you definitely should not do such

an action with the body

but when if you reflect if you know

this is an action that I wish to do with

the body would not this action that I

wish to do with the body would not lean

to lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome bodily action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may do such an action with the

body

so we're starting to look Beyond uh the

the beginning instructions

Sila helps us avoid the unwholesome and

the unwholesome courses of action

and points us to the wholesome courses

of action

and so we know how to start taking them

and then then we evaluate what happens

and how to do that better

also rahulum

while you were doing an action with the

body you should reflect upon that same

bodily action thus

this action that I'm doing with the body

lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

is it an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the body

leads to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences

then you should suspend such a bodily

action

but when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the body

does not lead to my own Affliction or to

the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome bodily action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results then you may continue in such a

bodily action

also rahula

after you have done such an action with

the body you should reflect upon that

same bodily action thus

did the action I did with the body lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

was it an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I did with the body led

to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

it was an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you should confess such a bodily

action reveal it and lay it open to the

teacher or to your wise companions in

the Holy life

having confessed it revealed it and laid

it open you should undertake restraint

for the future

but when you reflect if you know this

action that I did with the body

did not lead to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

it was a wholesome bodily action with

Pleasant consequences Pleasant results

you can abide happy and glad Training

Day and Night in wholesome States

so one thing I appreciate about the

monastic discipline

is how conflict is dealt with

an advantage to having so many rules is

frequently one can be clear if a rule

was broken or not

if uh if something should have happened

differently

and then there are procedures for what

you do in that case

you acknowledge the action and you talk

about it with your peers or your teacher

you with that acknowledgment they can

acknowledge that with you

and together

you can work together and you can

determine not to do that again

this is a safe clear way to work with

conflict and mistakes

I think a reason it is difficult for us

to acknowledge mistakes until we start

reflecting on it

is because

one we have to admit we are wrong

I was wrong

I didn't know

I should have done better

I I

and what comes back is yes you were

wrong

yeah

how dare you

instead of forgiveness and acceptance

sometimes what you get back is anger

and not acceptance and it's worse

to admit it or that's the fear

both of these increase the sense of I

I must be right so I am protected

and I must be bad because I am being

treated wrong

so these are things

we consciously or unconsciously are

thinking about

when we are

coming to the place that we can admit we

were Incorrect and wrong

but what has to happen is we have to

acknowledge that we made a mistake

so we can forgive it

because the mistake is in our mind

we remember

and we know even if we're protecting

ourselves

and so the procedure is clear

when we notice we've made a mistake

we admit it to ourselves

we forgive ourselves for making a

mistake and we apologize and bring it

to to the other party if possible

and hopefully they will forgive us and

work with us too

sometimes it's not possible to make the

apology

for many reasons

we may not know the person anymore the

situation may be gone it may have been

long in the past it may be inappropriate

for example Middle School

Middle School is from 11 to 13 years of

age or so

I recently was introduced to some

research about Middle School that

something about four to five percent of

friendships from middle school last

until High School

four to five percent

yeah I don't know if you remember that

well

at least at my middle school people were

pretty awkward and difficult

a lot of mistakes were made

and that's actually what the research is

showing a lot of mistakes were made

because people were figuring it out they

didn't know how to treat other people or

how to be treated or what to do

and so yeah

we all have a lot of mistakes

but it's probably not appropriate

track of the mistakes down

find the people

that we were

inappropriate to or whatever it was and

apologize right now

but what what can we do

so we can forgive ourselves

you can do forgiveness practice we can

remember

we can talk to our peers

we can talk to a teacher

we can talk to someone with our

with our uh

with our stuff like this that can view

it non-judgmentally

when you bring your middle school

mishaps to your friends

though it may be weighing on you they

immediately

can see the truth

that you were in Middle School

and that you didn't know better

and that it's okay

and when you see that they see that it's

okay

You Can Let It Go

that's how we let go of things

you're forgiving ourselves

when they're stuck bringing it to our

peers

who can help us see it's okay

and when we can't bring it to anyone for

reasons

then we can again do the Forgiveness

practice with time

we can write it out

we can admit it confess it in front of a

Buddha image or another image like that

and we can let it out that way

rahula

when you wish to do an action with the

speech with speech

you should reflect upon that same verbal

action thus

would this action that I wish to do with

speech lead to my own Affliction or to

the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I wish to do with the

body would lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you definitely should not do such

an action with the speech

but when you reflect

if you know

this action that I was wish to do with

speech

would not lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome verbal action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may do such an action with

speech

doing Pleasant actions with speech

hand with body and with mind

helps us improve our practice

many of these are mindfulness practices

we can share loving kindness directly

with other people

by carefully choosing your speech you

can help people smile

this can take practice

uh but with practice and reflection you

can get better

usually a good ingredient is to be

present with them

to be as most yourself as possible

authentic

and be having fun

and then you can try out your jokes

that are of course are true or whatever

you do

helping people laugh and smile

should be a job that you give yourself

this keeps you focused in situations

if you remember your job is to help

people smile

when you do things that are otherwise

boring it'll help keep you present

if your job is to help make the grocery

store person check out person bag or

smile

that can make their day

more and more were disconnected from

contact with people with technology

more and more we don't have to do these

small little interactions

I used to have to go to the bank to

deposit checks that people gave me

now I take pictures of them on my phone

and it's really convenient

but I'll tell you I really enjoyed going

to the bank

because it was people I saw occasionally

that saw me occasionally

and we had an opportunity for a moment

to interact with each other

and it could be fun

and a week I joke about things and laugh

when you have those interactions with

people it lasts with both of you

and you take that with you

people used to have to interact with

people all the time directly

we used to have to talk to people on the

phone

we used to have to talk to people at the

store to get our groceries now we can

get them delivered

we are used to having that social

interaction and it's somewhat of a loss

a big loss to not have

that ongoing Pleasant reinforcement

uh opportunity to be happy and to help

other people be happy

so when you have the opportunity to have

a pleasant random interaction

I highly recommend you pay attention and

try

there's a fewer of those present these

days

also rahulan while you were doing an

action with speech you should reflect on

that same verbal action thus

this action I'm doing with speech lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

is it an unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with speech

leads to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you should suspend such a verbal

action

but when you reflect if you know this is

an action that I'm doing with the with

speech does not affect my does not lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome verbal action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may continue in such a verbal

action

so maybe you're getting the sense this

is about skill development the suitan

it's about having a plan

executing the plan observing how the

plan works and then reflecting on the

consequences of the plan

and how it worked

this is applicable to any skill

this is how you practice instruments

effectively or practice martial arts

effectively

it can be how you practice your

meditation effectively

now we're not doing a skill that we do

we're not working on becoming like we

talked about last night

but it is we can still use this

reflection in our practice

especially when you're out in the world

you can reflect how is your quality of

life improving are things getting

lighter are they getting easier

his life more fun

that's how it should be looking

over time there will be good and bad

days good in bad weeks even

but the trajectory should be

more fun better quality of life

in your practice you can reflect on as

well

and as you know you can't judge a

meditation session

by how many hindrances it has in the

beginning in the middle or the end

they're going to show up when they do

and they're not a problem they're an

opportunity

but you can reflect on what you are

trying to support and encourage in your

practice

you can think well I'm going to sit down

and

I'll be working on being in Quiet Mind

maybe or I'll be working on sending with

my friend

or I'll be working on sending Joy

we can see what you think your plan will

be

oh that's right I've been having that

hindrance come up

I've been needing to seize

I've been having meditation pain

sometimes you get hindrances like

needing to sneeze every single time

I hope you don't

but it may show up every single time you

sit down you have to deal with the urge

to sneeze or cough for a while

but when you have something like that

then it will pass

eventually

then you have your plan well their

meditation pain might happen

oh I'll do this

then you enjoy your practice and

afterwards you reflect

okay that went well that didn't go well

okay

that happened what a surprise

just a moment or two before and after

helps keep you focused

when you're in your busy life

and things are distracting

and it's a long time after retreat

also rahula after you've done an action

with speech you should reflect on that

same verbal action thus

through this action that I did with the

with speech lead to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

was it an unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know this action

I did with the speech with speech led to

my own Affliction or to the Affliction

of others or to the Affliction of both

was unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you should confess such a verbal

action reveal it and lay it open to the

teacher or to your wise companions in

the Holy life

having confessed it revealed it and laid

it open you should undertake restraint

for the future

but when you reflect if you know this

action that I did with speech did not

lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it was a wholesome verbal action with

pleasing consequences Pleasant results

you can abide happy and glad training

day and night with wholesome States

now one good thing about

our technology these days is we can stay

connected with our songha

so one thing I encourage people is to

find a meditation group that you can

meet with regularity regularly

and I don't mean to meditate with on

Zoom regularly I mean to to meet once a

week twice a month

talk about your practice

one or three couple people you know that

you can share and reflect what's

happening

and so you can support each other

so you can put it in your busy schedule

and you all meet for that hour

it's easy but soon

and then you can continue to provide

each other with that non-judgmental

space for what's going well and what's

not going well remind each other about

the practice and remind each other what

to do and that can keep momentum going

fantastically

yeah and now we it's it's a button click

away absolutely remarkable

um

rahula when you wish to do an action

with the mind you should reflect on that

same mental action bus

with this action that I wish to do with

the Mind lead to my own Affliction or

the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

is an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know this action

that I wish to do with the mind would

lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results then you definitely should not

do such an action with the mind

but when you reflect if you know this is

an action that I wish to do with this

action that I wish to do with the mind

would not lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome mental action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may do such an action with the

mind

so

we're not talking about all mental

events here

we can Loosely divide mental events for

the sake of us into two categories

one that we intend to do and the other

or that we do not intend to do

as you may have noticed most of our

mental events are unintended

absolutely

when you have an unwholesome unintended

mental event that's a hindrance

that's not what we're talking about here

when that comes up you treat it with

humor you allow it to be there

you relax

smile will come back to what you're

doing

these unbinmental events uh

these can be surprising these are

sometimes People's First glimpse into

anata or not self

what a surprise

my mind is producing thoughts all on its

own I thought I was doing that

but

no

and they can be quite concerning when we

don't understand we didn't do them

either

the mental events we're talking about

that we are judging our volitional

mental events

choosing how we think of a situation

choosing how we judge a situation or a

person

choosing to bring up loving kindness or

not

it's okay to have opinions about things

and it's okay to have negative opinions

about things because we have our

opinions and some things are

not as skillful as they could be to say

the least

but we can choose not to perseverate on

these and not to dwell on them over and

over again

that sets us up for suffering and that

sets and colors our interaction in the

future

and we can choose to to bring loving

kindness

even to the UN wholesome events under

life

and that's actually our job

also Rahul while you were doing an

action with the mind you should reflect

on that same mental action thus

this action I'm doing with the Mind lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

is it an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the Mind

leads to my Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results then you should suspend such a

mental action

but when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the Mind

does not lead to my own

Affliction or to the Affliction of

others or to the Affliction of both

it is a wholesome mental action with

Pleasant consequences and pleasant

results

then you may continue with such a mental

action

in continuing with wholesome mental

actions is our task in daily life

and this is talking about developing

persisting mindfulness

in what we do bringing loving kindness

to all our activities

and arguably this is a very challenging

task

especially if we treat it as a task

if you decide today I'm going to be

mindful all the time

I assure you within a short period of

time you will forget all about it

you'll have a much better luck deciding

to smile all the time

you'll have much better luck setting up

behaviors or reminders for yourself to

remind it

at first you need to make mindfulness a

habit

Pleasant habit but mind likes to rest in

and incline and

this is something we ease into not

something we can make happen

it is surprising how quickly we can

forget our goal of remembering to

radiate method all day

but as we do this more and more and have

more and more cues

we'll find ourselves in places always

remembering to smile always remembering

to living loving kindness always

remembering to bring up Jonna when we

rest

always remembering and before long it'll

occur to you huh

I have been smiling for quite a number

of hours here

if not with effort not with trying with

habit

with making it attractive

for your mind to rest in that

that's how it can work

and you can try to be mindful if you

want if you if you like hindrances or if

you like frustration but

but um yeah

also rahula after you have done an

action with the mind you should reflect

on that same mental action thus

did this action that I did with the Mind

lead to my own Affliction or the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

was it an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know this action

that I did with the Mind led to my own

Affliction or to the Affliction of

others or to the Affliction of both it

was an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful result

then we should review uh review these

mental actions and view them with

disenchantment

what is missing from this is confessing

mental action

it is not suggested to confess uh

negative mental action

like that

but when you reflect if you know this

action I did with the mind to not lean

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others to the Affliction

of both it was a wholesome mental action

with Pleasant consequences Pleasant

results

you can abide happy and glad Training

Day and Night in wholesome States

and the instructions are to develop just

the disenchantment and dispassion to

unwholesome mental events

so your mind naturally will drop them

and not get involved and stop doing that

rahula whatever recklesses and brahmanas

in the past purified their bodily action

their verbal action and their mental

action all did so by repeatedly

reflecting thus

whatever Reckless is and brahmanas in

the future will purify their bodily

action their verbal action and their

mental action

all will do so by repeatedly reflecting

thus

whatever recluses and brahmanas in the

present are purifying their bodily

action

their verbal action and their mental

action all are doing so by repeatedly

reflecting thus

therefore rahulah you should train those

we will purify our bodily action our

verbal action our mental action by

repeatedly reflecting upon them

that is what the blessed one said the

venerable rahula was delighted in the

satisfied and delighted and the Blessed

one's words

so I thought that was a nice suit that

nice instruction to rahula

and so now

we'll be bringing back our practice to

our daily life

and will be restructuring and trying to

bring practice in with us

so a couple basic recommendations

one is regular meditation practice

I suggest you find a time and schedule

it if you don't have one already

we are incredibly busy at least I think

we all are that is that is laylife Dusty

yeah

cramped packed schedules

and so we need to find time for it in

our schedules

otherwise will forget or find ourselves

in bed at 11 30 about to fall asleep and

eyes will pop open I'm like oh no didn't

meditate today

then you have to get out of bed at 11 30

and go meditate for

half an hour an hour and

we all know what will happen then right

and we'll go back to go to sleep

and then we might find ourselves in

exactly the same position the next day

habitual tendencies

so it's good to schedule this

scheduling first thing in the morning is

a fantastic way to do it and this works

well for most people

we can control our alarm clock

and so we can wake up a little earlier

if necessary

um

like that before bed is another really

nice time and both if you can pull it

off

I think it is good to meditate at least

an hour

so now that you're off when you're off

Retreat you'll notice a dip in the level

of your practice

and this tip will happen

if you can consistently meditate at

least an hour or more

if we'll you'll you'll improve over time

two hours is another fantastic goal

this is if you can find the time to do

that I definitely recommend two hours

however more than that as a goal I would

be cautious about

two hours is a lot as it is

if you have time and energy and space to

more than two hours

great

two hours is a lot to do every day

and what we want is a practice that goes

every day

we want to practice that we do every day

we want to look back

months later years later and oh wow

progress happened I didn't notice it at

the time

but wow

and that happens with a consistent daily

practice

if we meditate for a week for three

hours a day and then we don't get back

to it for three months

that doesn't work if we have a goal of

sitting for three hours a day and then

we do that twice a week not so good

either

so

the schedule what you can what you think

you can do

and be realistic

if it's an hour

bye

that's that's good

if it's a half an hour okay

if you don't think you have time for

half an hour

I think you need to evaluate your

situation carefully

and prioritize

we are very very busy

I myself am scheduled every minute of

every day of every day of the week I

know what I'm doing all the time

literally including Recreation and all

that

what happens to many of us when we are

busy in professional life with families

with commitments

and that's not a problem

that's not a problem at all

but that's what we are working with and

and if you have a schedule like that

then you have to make room for your

practice

and you have to view it maybe a little

ruthlessly

and really look at the priorities

when you can't find a half an hour for

practice there might be a work-life

imbalance happening

and that's no fun

not so fun at all

our job is to help people be happy and

have fun

and I like work I enjoy work a lot a lot

of people enjoy work I hope you do too

and if you don't I hope you can smile

through it

but

we what good are we doing if we're

working that much and we don't have time

to be with our loved ones

and we don't have time to spread

happiness with them

and we don't have time to work on our

spiritual practice

so set the alarm clock a little early

and and consider the priorities

this is something that you can look

forward to

that you prioritize because it's fun

right it's Pleasant it's joyful

and so they'll let it be that

it's like you wouldn't miss brushing

your teeth

don't miss your meditation practice

but we are busy and sometimes we are

busy particularly as lay people

and this means we have to prioritize all

the time practice

when when things are truly not able to

be done that has to be our

Focus

because even if something very difficult

happens and our hour or two hours that

is disrupted

we are awake the rest of the time

when we are awake we can be practicing

and we can bring our practice in

everything we do

and we probably should

everything we do

we can treat it

as a problem

or treat it as something we can accept

even our stressful situations are

difficult situations we can bring loving

kindness to that

and work with that

so that all the time practices are very

helpful to incorporate for those people

who

actually have some days they can't

practice

so that all the time practices involve

meditation cues

we talked about smiling all the time

smiling at people and

putting your sticky notes in random

places

I also recommend finding places in your

work environment that you frequent

quickly

or we are frequently maybe on the way to

the restroom well go there a couple

times per day

you find yourself in that same stairwell

going through that same corridor

only for that reason that can be your

meditation cue

so every time we're there

we can remind ourselves to do that

we can fill our environment with

meditation cues

there are Buddha images those are great

those are clear reminders

and there are other things that we have

again in our work environment that when

we see them they can remind us

many work environments I don't want

anything of a religious or spiritual

nature around

so we pick a flower or a boating beef

body leaves are fantastic very people

people know what they represent and

they're nice leaves

I have them in my office

yep in the hallway

great reminder

so we said remind ourselves with cues

and remind ourselves to be present and

embrace what happens to us with loving

kindness

aversive situations don't have to

be suffering they can be painful but

like a hindrance

they can be embraced and worked with

and that's what we get to do

I mean our choice is to either either

suffer or to work with it skillfully

simply

like that

but as we do this

as we use our practice I also want to

caution against a thing or two

One is using our practice to help us

push ourselves too much

with this practice we're learning to

tolerate difficult situations painful

Sensations

emotions and learn to transform them

into collectiveness and joy

eventually we have access to Joy

whenever we turn our mind to it

and we develop concentration

collectiveness ability to stick with

tasks that's remarkable

great

don't use that to fill your schedule

more

don't build yourself a schedule that is

only navigatable by your meditation

skills

it's a Temptation now that you can oh my

I can do so much more

aside I I am concerned about corporate

mindfulness programs like that and so on

for productivity in workplaces

we have a difficult job and we train

people to be mindful and all of a sudden

they can increase their productivity

and all of a sudden we have a workplace

that you can only navigate by the

incredibly mentally skillful

that's the temptation

don't do that to yourselves

it's possible

keep yourself on the edge of burnout

by working doing as much as you can

managing your schedule perfectly

managing your mind perfectly

figuring out how all the pieces work

together and find yourself with no gas

in the tank

and no flexibility to change that

because all of a sudden you're burnt out

but you can smile and you can deal with

it

so be careful

be careful how you work with your life

make time to be generous to yourself

make time to be generous to your family

and and those around you

and that's that's uh that's something to

watch out for with this

but be joyful

right bring this to people around you

you'll naturally become a reliable

person to people and you'll naturally be

someone they can count on

because your mind will be studying

and you can listen to them

and you can hear them

and not everyone is doing that

so it's a wonderful gift you can give

yourself and your peers and your family

just like that

okay

let's share some there

May suffering ones be suffering free in

the fear struck Fearless be May The

Grieving shed all grief and may all

beings find relief may all beings for

this Merit that we have thus acquired

for the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness

May beings inhabiting space on Earth

Davids and nagas and mighty power

sharing this Myriad of ours may they

long protect the Buddhist dispensation

[Music]

foreign

foreign

well

it's last night

the last time attack

I hope you all had a really good retreat

it was fantastic working with you all

all of you

really

abided ardently like truly every one of

you so

fantastic

thank you

so tonight we're going to be doing suta

MN 61.

advice to rahula

this will be a little little different

Focus here tonight

um we'll be talking about dhamma and

meditation but we'll be also talking

about re-entry into our daily lives and

um

and that's what the focus will be on

as we return to our busyness

tomorrow

so rahula was the son of the Buddha

when

when the Buddha went on his quest for a

complete Awakening rahula was a newborn

and so the Buddha left shortly after his

birth

I often imagined that was as difficult

as

the any of the aesthetic practices in a

way

for the unenlightened bodhisattva to

leave his first one son

[Music]

was the Buddha

Buddha was back in his hometown

and at that time that's when they met

again

so rahulu's mother asked him to go speak

with his father

and ask for his inheritance

I believe what she meant was asking for

the Airship to the to the kingdom

for the Buddha's father was still alive

at the time so technically Buddha was

the Buddha was still the air

but instead the Buddha told sorry puta

to ordain him

and so he became a monk

and this began the vineyard rule of no

minor can be can become a monk without

their consent of their parents

rahula was first for foremost and

Desiring training

so that was he was very

exuberant about receiving the training

in this instance this suto was given

probably shortly after he was ordained

and it was given after an incident where

rahula gave incorrect directions to

someone looking for the Buddha

and so this is the Buddha talking to him

about that

that's what I heard

on one occasion the blessed one was

living in rajagaha in the Bamboo Grove

the the squirrel sanctuary

now on that occasion the venerable

rahulo was living in a umbalatica

then when it was evening the blessed one

rose from meditation

and went to the venerable rahula at

ambala Tikka

the venerable rahula saw the blessed one

coming in the distance

and made a seat ready and set out water

for washing the feet

the blessed one sat down on the seat

made ready and washed his feet

the venerable rahula paid homage to him

and sat down at one side

the blessed one left little water in the

water vessel

and asked the venerable rahula rahula do

you see this little water left in the

water vessel

yes venerable sir

even so little rahula is the requisite

of those who are not ashamed to tell a

deliberate lie

then the blessed one threw away the

little water

that was left and asked the venerable

rahula

rahula do you see that little water that

was thrown away

yes venerable sir

even so rahulam those who are not

ashamed to tell the deliberate lie have

thrown away their Reckless ship

The Vessel upside down and asked the

venerable rahula

rahula do you see this water vessel

turned upside down

yes venerable sir

even so rahula those who are not ashamed

to tell a deliberate lie have turned

their Reckless ship upside down

then the blessed one turned the water

vessel right way up again and asked the

vulnerable rahula

rahula do you see this hollow empty

water vessel

yes venerable sir

even so Hollow and empty rahula is the

requisite of those who are not ashamed

to tell a delivery lie

so this is a pretty pretty clear

admonishment

clear for a seven or eight-year-old with

a clear analogy

very direct I imagine it must have been

um

that there's no yelling

no punishment

like that

suppose Rahul

there were a royal tusker elephant with

tusks as long as Chariot poles full

grown in stature hybrid and accustomed

to battle

in battle he would perform his task with

his four feet and his hind feet

with his four quarters and his

hindquarters

with his head and his ears with his

tusks and his tail

yet he would keep back his trunk

then his rider would think

this Royal tusker elephant with tusks as

long as Chariot holes full grown in

stature hybrid and accustomed to battle

performs his task with his four freed

four feet and hind feet with his four

quarters and his hindquarters with his

head and his ears with his tusks and his

tail

yet he keeps back his trunk

he has not given up his life

but when the Royal tusker elephant

with tusks as long as Chariot poles

full grown and stature

hybrid and accustomed to battle

performs his tasks with his four feet

and his hind feet

with his four quarters and his

hindquarters

with his head and ears with his tusks

and tail and also with his trunk

than his writer would think

this Royal tusker elephant with tusks as

long as Chariot holes

full grown in stature hybrid accustomed

to battle

performs his tasks

in battle with his four four feet and

hind feet

with his four quarters and his

hindquarters

with his head in his ears with his tusks

and his tail

and also with his trunk

he has given up his life

now that there is nothing now there is

nothing that this Royal tusker would not

do

so too rahula when one is not ashamed to

tell a deliberate lie there is no evil I

say that one would not do

therefore rahulah you should train thus

I will not utter a falsehood even as a

joke

so this is a pretty clear teaching about

the fourth precept

um

no heart speech telling lies slander

speech and gossip

the fourth precept maybe seems like a

simple one but I think for many people

it can be challenging

because her speech is fast Her speech is

fast and it's connected to our thinking

and our thinking can be fast

and we have habits of making jokes that

are false that that is a habit

habits of can have habits of cursing

saying harsh things

and these habits are hard to hard to

break

so when you're telling lies or telling

things that are not true or saying

things that are not true

your mind doesn't really know the

difference

we know this with brain studies when you

read or say something part of your brain

thinks it's true

just assumes it's true because those

words were said

so part of your mind when you say

something like that has that image

Another Part of Your Mind knows that's

not true

and of course reality is not like that

too that's not how things are happening

and this sets up a big mental dissonance

between

what you say what you think and what you

were trying to accomplish

and this builds up

dissonance with time

people who are accustomed to lying often

lose track of what they really feel

about things or really think about

things and it can be hard to know what

their reality actually is

and so we have to change how we make our

jokes

or when we make a joke with a falsehood

immediately clarify it for ourselves and

others

it's an odd thing

it means Little White Lies are not that

helpful

yes we're seeing them in order to give

someone Comfort or pay them a compliment

or do something nice

and that is a good motivation

but it actually doesn't work out that

well

not only is it much nicer to receive a

compliment of something that is actually

true

yeah it's much better to really receive

a compliment of something that is true

rather than something you know

people are saying to be nice to you

it confuses your mind

and it sets up your meditation to be

less productive

and it's not always easy to say the

truth

and this is another reason why we don't

there are difficult truths to say

hard for us to face them and we have

concern they would be hard for someone

else to face them

in my professional life I have to talk

to people about difficult things

diagnoses that are new and challenging

outcomes that they are not interested in

hearing about at the moment

and it's always better to say what the

truth is clearly

that's what people actually want

they actually want you to be present

with them

as a person

facing the reality with them

and that's what we can do

with the meditation practice we can be

present

we are training to be present with

difficult things

we have had hindrances all week

some of them very painful

so we know what happens when we can

allow and accept the difficult thing

and we know what happens next

can we when we can allow and accept

other people's

difficult emotions

and challenging reaction with

spaciousness and loving kindness

we know what can happen next

even if you're not sure the person can

understand the truth

you should still should try to present

it as best you can

this doesn't mean her job is running

around

for proclaiming the bitter truth the

brutality of whatever it is as much as

possible yeah I know

you say what's appropriate at the time

it's appropriate

to the best of our ability

and that of course is a challenging

thing to do

and there are not many rules in the

dhamma exactly how to do that

we have guidelines

we know when we're with loving kindness

we are set to do that

we know when we're present

when we know when we're accepting we are

set to do that

and so this sutah talks a little bit

about

how to evaluate

what we do think and say

so we can become more and more skillful

and how we do those difficult things

and those fun things

what do you think rahula

what is the purpose of a mirror

the purpose of reflection vulnerable sir

so too rahula an action with the body

should be done after repeated reflection

an action by speech should be done after

repeated reflection

an action by mind should be done after

repeated reflection

rahula when you wish to do an action

with the body you should reflect upon

that same bodily action thus

would this action that I wish to do with

the body lead to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

is it an unpleasant unwholesome bodily

action with painful consequences and

painful results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I wish to do with the

body would lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences

with painful results

then you definitely should not do such

an action with the body

but when if you reflect if you know

this is an action that I wish to do with

the body would not this action that I

wish to do with the body would not lean

to lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome bodily action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may do such an action with the

body

so we're starting to look Beyond uh the

the beginning instructions

Sila helps us avoid the unwholesome and

the unwholesome courses of action

and points us to the wholesome courses

of action

and so we know how to start taking them

and then then we evaluate what happens

and how to do that better

also rahulum

while you were doing an action with the

body you should reflect upon that same

bodily action thus

this action that I'm doing with the body

lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

is it an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the body

leads to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences

then you should suspend such a bodily

action

but when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the body

does not lead to my own Affliction or to

the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome bodily action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results then you may continue in such a

bodily action

also rahula

after you have done such an action with

the body you should reflect upon that

same bodily action thus

did the action I did with the body lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

was it an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I did with the body led

to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

it was an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you should confess such a bodily

action reveal it and lay it open to the

teacher or to your wise companions in

the Holy life

having confessed it revealed it and laid

it open you should undertake restraint

for the future

but when you reflect if you know this

action that I did with the body

did not lead to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

it was a wholesome bodily action with

Pleasant consequences Pleasant results

you can abide happy and glad Training

Day and Night in wholesome States

so one thing I appreciate about the

monastic discipline

is how conflict is dealt with

an advantage to having so many rules is

frequently one can be clear if a rule

was broken or not

if uh if something should have happened

differently

and then there are procedures for what

you do in that case

you acknowledge the action and you talk

about it with your peers or your teacher

you with that acknowledgment they can

acknowledge that with you

and together

you can work together and you can

determine not to do that again

this is a safe clear way to work with

conflict and mistakes

I think a reason it is difficult for us

to acknowledge mistakes until we start

reflecting on it

is because

one we have to admit we are wrong

I was wrong

I didn't know

I should have done better

I I

and what comes back is yes you were

wrong

yeah

how dare you

instead of forgiveness and acceptance

sometimes what you get back is anger

and not acceptance and it's worse

to admit it or that's the fear

both of these increase the sense of I

I must be right so I am protected

and I must be bad because I am being

treated wrong

so these are things

we consciously or unconsciously are

thinking about

when we are

coming to the place that we can admit we

were Incorrect and wrong

but what has to happen is we have to

acknowledge that we made a mistake

so we can forgive it

because the mistake is in our mind

we remember

and we know even if we're protecting

ourselves

and so the procedure is clear

when we notice we've made a mistake

we admit it to ourselves

we forgive ourselves for making a

mistake and we apologize and bring it

to to the other party if possible

and hopefully they will forgive us and

work with us too

sometimes it's not possible to make the

apology

for many reasons

we may not know the person anymore the

situation may be gone it may have been

long in the past it may be inappropriate

for example Middle School

Middle School is from 11 to 13 years of

age or so

I recently was introduced to some

research about Middle School that

something about four to five percent of

friendships from middle school last

until High School

four to five percent

yeah I don't know if you remember that

well

at least at my middle school people were

pretty awkward and difficult

a lot of mistakes were made

and that's actually what the research is

showing a lot of mistakes were made

because people were figuring it out they

didn't know how to treat other people or

how to be treated or what to do

and so yeah

we all have a lot of mistakes

but it's probably not appropriate

track of the mistakes down

find the people

that we were

inappropriate to or whatever it was and

apologize right now

but what what can we do

so we can forgive ourselves

you can do forgiveness practice we can

remember

we can talk to our peers

we can talk to a teacher

we can talk to someone with our

with our uh

with our stuff like this that can view

it non-judgmentally

when you bring your middle school

mishaps to your friends

though it may be weighing on you they

immediately

can see the truth

that you were in Middle School

and that you didn't know better

and that it's okay

and when you see that they see that it's

okay

You Can Let It Go

that's how we let go of things

you're forgiving ourselves

when they're stuck bringing it to our

peers

who can help us see it's okay

and when we can't bring it to anyone for

reasons

then we can again do the Forgiveness

practice with time

we can write it out

we can admit it confess it in front of a

Buddha image or another image like that

and we can let it out that way

rahula

when you wish to do an action with the

speech with speech

you should reflect upon that same verbal

action thus

would this action that I wish to do with

speech lead to my own Affliction or to

the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I wish to do with the

body would lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you definitely should not do such

an action with the speech

but when you reflect

if you know

this action that I was wish to do with

speech

would not lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome verbal action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may do such an action with

speech

doing Pleasant actions with speech

hand with body and with mind

helps us improve our practice

many of these are mindfulness practices

we can share loving kindness directly

with other people

by carefully choosing your speech you

can help people smile

this can take practice

uh but with practice and reflection you

can get better

usually a good ingredient is to be

present with them

to be as most yourself as possible

authentic

and be having fun

and then you can try out your jokes

that are of course are true or whatever

you do

helping people laugh and smile

should be a job that you give yourself

this keeps you focused in situations

if you remember your job is to help

people smile

when you do things that are otherwise

boring it'll help keep you present

if your job is to help make the grocery

store person check out person bag or

smile

that can make their day

more and more were disconnected from

contact with people with technology

more and more we don't have to do these

small little interactions

I used to have to go to the bank to

deposit checks that people gave me

now I take pictures of them on my phone

and it's really convenient

but I'll tell you I really enjoyed going

to the bank

because it was people I saw occasionally

that saw me occasionally

and we had an opportunity for a moment

to interact with each other

and it could be fun

and a week I joke about things and laugh

when you have those interactions with

people it lasts with both of you

and you take that with you

people used to have to interact with

people all the time directly

we used to have to talk to people on the

phone

we used to have to talk to people at the

store to get our groceries now we can

get them delivered

we are used to having that social

interaction and it's somewhat of a loss

a big loss to not have

that ongoing Pleasant reinforcement

uh opportunity to be happy and to help

other people be happy

so when you have the opportunity to have

a pleasant random interaction

I highly recommend you pay attention and

try

there's a fewer of those present these

days

also rahulan while you were doing an

action with speech you should reflect on

that same verbal action thus

this action I'm doing with speech lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

is it an unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with speech

leads to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you should suspend such a verbal

action

but when you reflect if you know this is

an action that I'm doing with the with

speech does not affect my does not lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome verbal action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may continue in such a verbal

action

so maybe you're getting the sense this

is about skill development the suitan

it's about having a plan

executing the plan observing how the

plan works and then reflecting on the

consequences of the plan

and how it worked

this is applicable to any skill

this is how you practice instruments

effectively or practice martial arts

effectively

it can be how you practice your

meditation effectively

now we're not doing a skill that we do

we're not working on becoming like we

talked about last night

but it is we can still use this

reflection in our practice

especially when you're out in the world

you can reflect how is your quality of

life improving are things getting

lighter are they getting easier

his life more fun

that's how it should be looking

over time there will be good and bad

days good in bad weeks even

but the trajectory should be

more fun better quality of life

in your practice you can reflect on as

well

and as you know you can't judge a

meditation session

by how many hindrances it has in the

beginning in the middle or the end

they're going to show up when they do

and they're not a problem they're an

opportunity

but you can reflect on what you are

trying to support and encourage in your

practice

you can think well I'm going to sit down

and

I'll be working on being in Quiet Mind

maybe or I'll be working on sending with

my friend

or I'll be working on sending Joy

we can see what you think your plan will

be

oh that's right I've been having that

hindrance come up

I've been needing to seize

I've been having meditation pain

sometimes you get hindrances like

needing to sneeze every single time

I hope you don't

but it may show up every single time you

sit down you have to deal with the urge

to sneeze or cough for a while

but when you have something like that

then it will pass

eventually

then you have your plan well their

meditation pain might happen

oh I'll do this

then you enjoy your practice and

afterwards you reflect

okay that went well that didn't go well

okay

that happened what a surprise

just a moment or two before and after

helps keep you focused

when you're in your busy life

and things are distracting

and it's a long time after retreat

also rahula after you've done an action

with speech you should reflect on that

same verbal action thus

through this action that I did with the

with speech lead to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

was it an unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know this action

I did with the speech with speech led to

my own Affliction or to the Affliction

of others or to the Affliction of both

was unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you should confess such a verbal

action reveal it and lay it open to the

teacher or to your wise companions in

the Holy life

having confessed it revealed it and laid

it open you should undertake restraint

for the future

but when you reflect if you know this

action that I did with speech did not

lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it was a wholesome verbal action with

pleasing consequences Pleasant results

you can abide happy and glad training

day and night with wholesome States

now one good thing about

our technology these days is we can stay

connected with our songha

so one thing I encourage people is to

find a meditation group that you can

meet with regularity regularly

and I don't mean to meditate with on

Zoom regularly I mean to to meet once a

week twice a month

talk about your practice

one or three couple people you know that

you can share and reflect what's

happening

and so you can support each other

so you can put it in your busy schedule

and you all meet for that hour

it's easy but soon

and then you can continue to provide

each other with that non-judgmental

space for what's going well and what's

not going well remind each other about

the practice and remind each other what

to do and that can keep momentum going

fantastically

yeah and now we it's it's a button click

away absolutely remarkable

um

rahula when you wish to do an action

with the mind you should reflect on that

same mental action bus

with this action that I wish to do with

the Mind lead to my own Affliction or

the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

is an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know this action

that I wish to do with the mind would

lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results then you definitely should not

do such an action with the mind

but when you reflect if you know this is

an action that I wish to do with this

action that I wish to do with the mind

would not lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome mental action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may do such an action with the

mind

so

we're not talking about all mental

events here

we can Loosely divide mental events for

the sake of us into two categories

one that we intend to do and the other

or that we do not intend to do

as you may have noticed most of our

mental events are unintended

absolutely

when you have an unwholesome unintended

mental event that's a hindrance

that's not what we're talking about here

when that comes up you treat it with

humor you allow it to be there

you relax

smile will come back to what you're

doing

these unbinmental events uh

these can be surprising these are

sometimes People's First glimpse into

anata or not self

what a surprise

my mind is producing thoughts all on its

own I thought I was doing that

but

no

and they can be quite concerning when we

don't understand we didn't do them

either

the mental events we're talking about

that we are judging our volitional

mental events

choosing how we think of a situation

choosing how we judge a situation or a

person

choosing to bring up loving kindness or

not

it's okay to have opinions about things

and it's okay to have negative opinions

about things because we have our

opinions and some things are

not as skillful as they could be to say

the least

but we can choose not to perseverate on

these and not to dwell on them over and

over again

that sets us up for suffering and that

sets and colors our interaction in the

future

and we can choose to to bring loving

kindness

even to the UN wholesome events under

life

and that's actually our job

also Rahul while you were doing an

action with the mind you should reflect

on that same mental action thus

this action I'm doing with the Mind lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

is it an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the Mind

leads to my Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results then you should suspend such a

mental action

but when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the Mind

does not lead to my own

Affliction or to the Affliction of

others or to the Affliction of both

it is a wholesome mental action with

Pleasant consequences and pleasant

results

then you may continue with such a mental

action

in continuing with wholesome mental

actions is our task in daily life

and this is talking about developing

persisting mindfulness

in what we do bringing loving kindness

to all our activities

and arguably this is a very challenging

task

especially if we treat it as a task

if you decide today I'm going to be

mindful all the time

I assure you within a short period of

time you will forget all about it

you'll have a much better luck deciding

to smile all the time

you'll have much better luck setting up

behaviors or reminders for yourself to

remind it

at first you need to make mindfulness a

habit

Pleasant habit but mind likes to rest in

and incline and

this is something we ease into not

something we can make happen

it is surprising how quickly we can

forget our goal of remembering to

radiate method all day

but as we do this more and more and have

more and more cues

we'll find ourselves in places always

remembering to smile always remembering

to living loving kindness always

remembering to bring up Jonna when we

rest

always remembering and before long it'll

occur to you huh

I have been smiling for quite a number

of hours here

if not with effort not with trying with

habit

with making it attractive

for your mind to rest in that

that's how it can work

and you can try to be mindful if you

want if you if you like hindrances or if

you like frustration but

but um yeah

also rahula after you have done an

action with the mind you should reflect

on that same mental action thus

did this action that I did with the Mind

lead to my own Affliction or the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

was it an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know this action

that I did with the Mind led to my own

Affliction or to the Affliction of

others or to the Affliction of both it

was an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful result

then we should review uh review these

mental actions and view them with

disenchantment

what is missing from this is confessing

mental action

it is not suggested to confess uh

negative mental action

like that

but when you reflect if you know this

action I did with the mind to not lean

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others to the Affliction

of both it was a wholesome mental action

with Pleasant consequences Pleasant

results

you can abide happy and glad Training

Day and Night in wholesome States

and the instructions are to develop just

the disenchantment and dispassion to

unwholesome mental events

so your mind naturally will drop them

and not get involved and stop doing that

rahula whatever recklesses and brahmanas

in the past purified their bodily action

their verbal action and their mental

action all did so by repeatedly

reflecting thus

whatever Reckless is and brahmanas in

the future will purify their bodily

action their verbal action and their

mental action

all will do so by repeatedly reflecting

thus

whatever recluses and brahmanas in the

present are purifying their bodily

action

their verbal action and their mental

action all are doing so by repeatedly

reflecting thus

therefore rahulah you should train those

we will purify our bodily action our

verbal action our mental action by

repeatedly reflecting upon them

that is what the blessed one said the

venerable rahula was delighted in the

satisfied and delighted and the Blessed

one's words

so I thought that was a nice suit that

nice instruction to rahula

and so now

we'll be bringing back our practice to

our daily life

and will be restructuring and trying to

bring practice in with us

so a couple basic recommendations

one is regular meditation practice

I suggest you find a time and schedule

it if you don't have one already

we are incredibly busy at least I think

we all are that is that is laylife Dusty

yeah

cramped packed schedules

and so we need to find time for it in

our schedules

otherwise will forget or find ourselves

in bed at 11 30 about to fall asleep and

eyes will pop open I'm like oh no didn't

meditate today

then you have to get out of bed at 11 30

and go meditate for

half an hour an hour and

we all know what will happen then right

and we'll go back to go to sleep

and then we might find ourselves in

exactly the same position the next day

habitual tendencies

so it's good to schedule this

scheduling first thing in the morning is

a fantastic way to do it and this works

well for most people

we can control our alarm clock

and so we can wake up a little earlier

if necessary

um

like that before bed is another really

nice time and both if you can pull it

off

I think it is good to meditate at least

an hour

so now that you're off when you're off

Retreat you'll notice a dip in the level

of your practice

and this tip will happen

if you can consistently meditate at

least an hour or more

if we'll you'll you'll improve over time

two hours is another fantastic goal

this is if you can find the time to do

that I definitely recommend two hours

however more than that as a goal I would

be cautious about

two hours is a lot as it is

if you have time and energy and space to

more than two hours

great

two hours is a lot to do every day

and what we want is a practice that goes

every day

we want to practice that we do every day

we want to look back

months later years later and oh wow

progress happened I didn't notice it at

the time

but wow

and that happens with a consistent daily

practice

if we meditate for a week for three

hours a day and then we don't get back

to it for three months

that doesn't work if we have a goal of

sitting for three hours a day and then

we do that twice a week not so good

either

so

the schedule what you can what you think

you can do

and be realistic

if it's an hour

bye

that's that's good

if it's a half an hour okay

if you don't think you have time for

half an hour

I think you need to evaluate your

situation carefully

and prioritize

we are very very busy

I myself am scheduled every minute of

every day of every day of the week I

know what I'm doing all the time

literally including Recreation and all

that

what happens to many of us when we are

busy in professional life with families

with commitments

and that's not a problem

that's not a problem at all

but that's what we are working with and

and if you have a schedule like that

then you have to make room for your

practice

and you have to view it maybe a little

ruthlessly

and really look at the priorities

when you can't find a half an hour for

practice there might be a work-life

imbalance happening

and that's no fun

not so fun at all

our job is to help people be happy and

have fun

and I like work I enjoy work a lot a lot

of people enjoy work I hope you do too

and if you don't I hope you can smile

through it

but

we what good are we doing if we're

working that much and we don't have time

to be with our loved ones

and we don't have time to spread

happiness with them

and we don't have time to work on our

spiritual practice

so set the alarm clock a little early

and and consider the priorities

this is something that you can look

forward to

that you prioritize because it's fun

right it's Pleasant it's joyful

and so they'll let it be that

it's like you wouldn't miss brushing

your teeth

don't miss your meditation practice

but we are busy and sometimes we are

busy particularly as lay people

and this means we have to prioritize all

the time practice

when when things are truly not able to

be done that has to be our

Focus

because even if something very difficult

happens and our hour or two hours that

is disrupted

we are awake the rest of the time

when we are awake we can be practicing

and we can bring our practice in

everything we do

and we probably should

everything we do

we can treat it

as a problem

or treat it as something we can accept

even our stressful situations are

difficult situations we can bring loving

kindness to that

and work with that

so that all the time practices are very

helpful to incorporate for those people

who

actually have some days they can't

practice

so that all the time practices involve

meditation cues

we talked about smiling all the time

smiling at people and

putting your sticky notes in random

places

I also recommend finding places in your

work environment that you frequent

quickly

or we are frequently maybe on the way to

the restroom well go there a couple

times per day

you find yourself in that same stairwell

going through that same corridor

only for that reason that can be your

meditation cue

so every time we're there

we can remind ourselves to do that

we can fill our environment with

meditation cues

there are Buddha images those are great

those are clear reminders

and there are other things that we have

again in our work environment that when

we see them they can remind us

many work environments I don't want

anything of a religious or spiritual

nature around

so we pick a flower or a boating beef

body leaves are fantastic very people

people know what they represent and

they're nice leaves

I have them in my office

yep in the hallway

great reminder

so we said remind ourselves with cues

and remind ourselves to be present and

embrace what happens to us with loving

kindness

aversive situations don't have to

be suffering they can be painful but

like a hindrance

they can be embraced and worked with

and that's what we get to do

I mean our choice is to either either

suffer or to work with it skillfully

simply

like that

but as we do this

as we use our practice I also want to

caution against a thing or two

One is using our practice to help us

push ourselves too much

with this practice we're learning to

tolerate difficult situations painful

Sensations

emotions and learn to transform them

into collectiveness and joy

eventually we have access to Joy

whenever we turn our mind to it

and we develop concentration

collectiveness ability to stick with

tasks that's remarkable

great

don't use that to fill your schedule

more

don't build yourself a schedule that is

only navigatable by your meditation

skills

it's a Temptation now that you can oh my

I can do so much more

aside I I am concerned about corporate

mindfulness programs like that and so on

for productivity in workplaces

we have a difficult job and we train

people to be mindful and all of a sudden

they can increase their productivity

and all of a sudden we have a workplace

that you can only navigate by the

incredibly mentally skillful

that's the temptation

don't do that to yourselves

it's possible

keep yourself on the edge of burnout

by working doing as much as you can

managing your schedule perfectly

managing your mind perfectly

figuring out how all the pieces work

together and find yourself with no gas

in the tank

and no flexibility to change that

because all of a sudden you're burnt out

but you can smile and you can deal with

it

so be careful

be careful how you work with your life

make time to be generous to yourself

make time to be generous to your family

and and those around you

and that's that's uh that's something to

watch out for with this

but be joyful

right bring this to people around you

you'll naturally become a reliable

person to people and you'll naturally be

someone they can count on

because your mind will be studying

and you can listen to them

and you can hear them

and not everyone is doing that

so it's a wonderful gift you can give

yourself and your peers and your family

just like that

okay

let's share some there

May suffering ones be suffering free in

the fear struck Fearless be May The

Grieving shed all grief and may all

beings find relief may all beings for

this Merit that we have thus acquired

for the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness

May beings inhabiting space on Earth

Davids and nagas and mighty power

sharing this Myriad of ours may they

long protect the Buddhist dispensation

[Music]

well

it's last night

the last time attack

I hope you all had a really good retreat

it was fantastic working with you all

all of you

really

abided ardently like truly every one of

you so

fantastic

thank you

so tonight we're going to be doing suta

MN 61.

advice to rahula

this will be a little little different

Focus here tonight

um we'll be talking about dhamma and

meditation but we'll be also talking

about re-entry into our daily lives and

um

and that's what the focus will be on

as we return to our busyness

tomorrow

so rahula was the son of the Buddha

when

when the Buddha went on his quest for a

complete Awakening rahula was a newborn

and so the Buddha left shortly after his

birth

I often imagined that was as difficult

as

the any of the aesthetic practices in a

way

for the unenlightened bodhisattva to

leave his first one son

[Music]

was the Buddha

Buddha was back in his hometown

and at that time that's when they met

again

so rahulu's mother asked him to go speak

with his father

and ask for his inheritance

I believe what she meant was asking for

the Airship to the to the kingdom

for the Buddha's father was still alive

at the time so technically Buddha was

the Buddha was still the air

but instead the Buddha told sorry puta

to ordain him

and so he became a monk

and this began the vineyard rule of no

minor can be can become a monk without

their consent of their parents

rahula was first for foremost and

Desiring training

so that was he was very

exuberant about receiving the training

in this instance this suto was given

probably shortly after he was ordained

and it was given after an incident where

rahula gave incorrect directions to

someone looking for the Buddha

and so this is the Buddha talking to him

about that

that's what I heard

on one occasion the blessed one was

living in rajagaha in the Bamboo Grove

the the squirrel sanctuary

now on that occasion the venerable

rahulo was living in a umbalatica

then when it was evening the blessed one

rose from meditation

and went to the venerable rahula at

ambala Tikka

the venerable rahula saw the blessed one

coming in the distance

and made a seat ready and set out water

for washing the feet

the blessed one sat down on the seat

made ready and washed his feet

the venerable rahula paid homage to him

and sat down at one side

the blessed one left little water in the

water vessel

and asked the venerable rahula rahula do

you see this little water left in the

water vessel

yes venerable sir

even so little rahula is the requisite

of those who are not ashamed to tell a

deliberate lie

then the blessed one threw away the

little water

that was left and asked the venerable

rahula

rahula do you see that little water that

was thrown away

yes venerable sir

even so rahulam those who are not

ashamed to tell the deliberate lie have

thrown away their Reckless ship

The Vessel upside down and asked the

venerable rahula

rahula do you see this water vessel

turned upside down

yes venerable sir

even so rahula those who are not ashamed

to tell a deliberate lie have turned

their Reckless ship upside down

then the blessed one turned the water

vessel right way up again and asked the

vulnerable rahula

rahula do you see this hollow empty

water vessel

yes venerable sir

even so Hollow and empty rahula is the

requisite of those who are not ashamed

to tell a delivery lie

so this is a pretty pretty clear

admonishment

clear for a seven or eight-year-old with

a clear analogy

very direct I imagine it must have been

um

that there's no yelling

no punishment

like that

suppose Rahul

there were a royal tusker elephant with

tusks as long as Chariot poles full

grown in stature hybrid and accustomed

to battle

in battle he would perform his task with

his four feet and his hind feet

with his four quarters and his

hindquarters

with his head and his ears with his

tusks and his tail

yet he would keep back his trunk

then his rider would think

this Royal tusker elephant with tusks as

long as Chariot holes full grown in

stature hybrid and accustomed to battle

performs his task with his four freed

four feet and hind feet with his four

quarters and his hindquarters with his

head and his ears with his tusks and his

tail

yet he keeps back his trunk

he has not given up his life

but when the Royal tusker elephant

with tusks as long as Chariot poles

full grown and stature

hybrid and accustomed to battle

performs his tasks with his four feet

and his hind feet

with his four quarters and his

hindquarters

with his head and ears with his tusks

and tail and also with his trunk

than his writer would think

this Royal tusker elephant with tusks as

long as Chariot holes

full grown in stature hybrid accustomed

to battle

performs his tasks

in battle with his four four feet and

hind feet

with his four quarters and his

hindquarters

with his head in his ears with his tusks

and his tail

and also with his trunk

he has given up his life

now that there is nothing now there is

nothing that this Royal tusker would not

do

so too rahula when one is not ashamed to

tell a deliberate lie there is no evil I

say that one would not do

therefore rahulah you should train thus

I will not utter a falsehood even as a

joke

so this is a pretty clear teaching about

the fourth precept

um

no heart speech telling lies slander

speech and gossip

the fourth precept maybe seems like a

simple one but I think for many people

it can be challenging

because her speech is fast Her speech is

fast and it's connected to our thinking

and our thinking can be fast

and we have habits of making jokes that

are false that that is a habit

habits of can have habits of cursing

saying harsh things

and these habits are hard to hard to

break

so when you're telling lies or telling

things that are not true or saying

things that are not true

your mind doesn't really know the

difference

we know this with brain studies when you

read or say something part of your brain

thinks it's true

just assumes it's true because those

words were said

so part of your mind when you say

something like that has that image

Another Part of Your Mind knows that's

not true

and of course reality is not like that

too that's not how things are happening

and this sets up a big mental dissonance

between

what you say what you think and what you

were trying to accomplish

and this builds up

dissonance with time

people who are accustomed to lying often

lose track of what they really feel

about things or really think about

things and it can be hard to know what

their reality actually is

and so we have to change how we make our

jokes

or when we make a joke with a falsehood

immediately clarify it for ourselves and

others

it's an odd thing

it means Little White Lies are not that

helpful

yes we're seeing them in order to give

someone Comfort or pay them a compliment

or do something nice

and that is a good motivation

but it actually doesn't work out that

well

not only is it much nicer to receive a

compliment of something that is actually

true

yeah it's much better to really receive

a compliment of something that is true

rather than something you know

people are saying to be nice to you

it confuses your mind

and it sets up your meditation to be

less productive

and it's not always easy to say the

truth

and this is another reason why we don't

there are difficult truths to say

hard for us to face them and we have

concern they would be hard for someone

else to face them

in my professional life I have to talk

to people about difficult things

diagnoses that are new and challenging

outcomes that they are not interested in

hearing about at the moment

and it's always better to say what the

truth is clearly

that's what people actually want

they actually want you to be present

with them

as a person

facing the reality with them

and that's what we can do

with the meditation practice we can be

present

we are training to be present with

difficult things

we have had hindrances all week

some of them very painful

so we know what happens when we can

allow and accept the difficult thing

and we know what happens next

can we when we can allow and accept

other people's

difficult emotions

and challenging reaction with

spaciousness and loving kindness

we know what can happen next

even if you're not sure the person can

understand the truth

you should still should try to present

it as best you can

this doesn't mean her job is running

around

for proclaiming the bitter truth the

brutality of whatever it is as much as

possible yeah I know

you say what's appropriate at the time

it's appropriate

to the best of our ability

and that of course is a challenging

thing to do

and there are not many rules in the

dhamma exactly how to do that

we have guidelines

we know when we're with loving kindness

we are set to do that

we know when we're present

when we know when we're accepting we are

set to do that

and so this sutah talks a little bit

about

how to evaluate

what we do think and say

so we can become more and more skillful

and how we do those difficult things

and those fun things

what do you think rahula

what is the purpose of a mirror

the purpose of reflection vulnerable sir

so too rahula an action with the body

should be done after repeated reflection

an action by speech should be done after

repeated reflection

an action by mind should be done after

repeated reflection

rahula when you wish to do an action

with the body you should reflect upon

that same bodily action thus

would this action that I wish to do with

the body lead to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

is it an unpleasant unwholesome bodily

action with painful consequences and

painful results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I wish to do with the

body would lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences

with painful results

then you definitely should not do such

an action with the body

but when if you reflect if you know

this is an action that I wish to do with

the body would not this action that I

wish to do with the body would not lean

to lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome bodily action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may do such an action with the

body

so we're starting to look Beyond uh the

the beginning instructions

Sila helps us avoid the unwholesome and

the unwholesome courses of action

and points us to the wholesome courses

of action

and so we know how to start taking them

and then then we evaluate what happens

and how to do that better

also rahulum

while you were doing an action with the

body you should reflect upon that same

bodily action thus

this action that I'm doing with the body

lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

is it an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the body

leads to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences

then you should suspend such a bodily

action

but when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the body

does not lead to my own Affliction or to

the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome bodily action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results then you may continue in such a

bodily action

also rahula

after you have done such an action with

the body you should reflect upon that

same bodily action thus

did the action I did with the body lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

was it an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I did with the body led

to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

it was an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you should confess such a bodily

action reveal it and lay it open to the

teacher or to your wise companions in

the Holy life

having confessed it revealed it and laid

it open you should undertake restraint

for the future

but when you reflect if you know this

action that I did with the body

did not lead to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

it was a wholesome bodily action with

Pleasant consequences Pleasant results

you can abide happy and glad Training

Day and Night in wholesome States

so one thing I appreciate about the

monastic discipline

is how conflict is dealt with

an advantage to having so many rules is

frequently one can be clear if a rule

was broken or not

if uh if something should have happened

differently

and then there are procedures for what

you do in that case

you acknowledge the action and you talk

about it with your peers or your teacher

you with that acknowledgment they can

acknowledge that with you

and together

you can work together and you can

determine not to do that again

this is a safe clear way to work with

conflict and mistakes

I think a reason it is difficult for us

to acknowledge mistakes until we start

reflecting on it

is because

one we have to admit we are wrong

I was wrong

I didn't know

I should have done better

I I

and what comes back is yes you were

wrong

yeah

how dare you

instead of forgiveness and acceptance

sometimes what you get back is anger

and not acceptance and it's worse

to admit it or that's the fear

both of these increase the sense of I

I must be right so I am protected

and I must be bad because I am being

treated wrong

so these are things

we consciously or unconsciously are

thinking about

when we are

coming to the place that we can admit we

were Incorrect and wrong

but what has to happen is we have to

acknowledge that we made a mistake

so we can forgive it

because the mistake is in our mind

we remember

and we know even if we're protecting

ourselves

and so the procedure is clear

when we notice we've made a mistake

we admit it to ourselves

we forgive ourselves for making a

mistake and we apologize and bring it

to to the other party if possible

and hopefully they will forgive us and

work with us too

sometimes it's not possible to make the

apology

for many reasons

we may not know the person anymore the

situation may be gone it may have been

long in the past it may be inappropriate

for example Middle School

Middle School is from 11 to 13 years of

age or so

I recently was introduced to some

research about Middle School that

something about four to five percent of

friendships from middle school last

until High School

four to five percent

yeah I don't know if you remember that

well

at least at my middle school people were

pretty awkward and difficult

a lot of mistakes were made

and that's actually what the research is

showing a lot of mistakes were made

because people were figuring it out they

didn't know how to treat other people or

how to be treated or what to do

and so yeah

we all have a lot of mistakes

but it's probably not appropriate

track of the mistakes down

find the people

that we were

inappropriate to or whatever it was and

apologize right now

but what what can we do

so we can forgive ourselves

you can do forgiveness practice we can

remember

we can talk to our peers

we can talk to a teacher

we can talk to someone with our

with our uh

with our stuff like this that can view

it non-judgmentally

when you bring your middle school

mishaps to your friends

though it may be weighing on you they

immediately

can see the truth

that you were in Middle School

and that you didn't know better

and that it's okay

and when you see that they see that it's

okay

You Can Let It Go

that's how we let go of things

you're forgiving ourselves

when they're stuck bringing it to our

peers

who can help us see it's okay

and when we can't bring it to anyone for

reasons

then we can again do the Forgiveness

practice with time

we can write it out

we can admit it confess it in front of a

Buddha image or another image like that

and we can let it out that way

rahula

when you wish to do an action with the

speech with speech

you should reflect upon that same verbal

action thus

would this action that I wish to do with

speech lead to my own Affliction or to

the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I wish to do with the

body would lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome bodily action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you definitely should not do such

an action with the speech

but when you reflect

if you know

this action that I was wish to do with

speech

would not lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome verbal action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may do such an action with

speech

doing Pleasant actions with speech

hand with body and with mind

helps us improve our practice

many of these are mindfulness practices

we can share loving kindness directly

with other people

by carefully choosing your speech you

can help people smile

this can take practice

uh but with practice and reflection you

can get better

usually a good ingredient is to be

present with them

to be as most yourself as possible

authentic

and be having fun

and then you can try out your jokes

that are of course are true or whatever

you do

helping people laugh and smile

should be a job that you give yourself

this keeps you focused in situations

if you remember your job is to help

people smile

when you do things that are otherwise

boring it'll help keep you present

if your job is to help make the grocery

store person check out person bag or

smile

that can make their day

more and more were disconnected from

contact with people with technology

more and more we don't have to do these

small little interactions

I used to have to go to the bank to

deposit checks that people gave me

now I take pictures of them on my phone

and it's really convenient

but I'll tell you I really enjoyed going

to the bank

because it was people I saw occasionally

that saw me occasionally

and we had an opportunity for a moment

to interact with each other

and it could be fun

and a week I joke about things and laugh

when you have those interactions with

people it lasts with both of you

and you take that with you

people used to have to interact with

people all the time directly

we used to have to talk to people on the

phone

we used to have to talk to people at the

store to get our groceries now we can

get them delivered

we are used to having that social

interaction and it's somewhat of a loss

a big loss to not have

that ongoing Pleasant reinforcement

uh opportunity to be happy and to help

other people be happy

so when you have the opportunity to have

a pleasant random interaction

I highly recommend you pay attention and

try

there's a fewer of those present these

days

also rahulan while you were doing an

action with speech you should reflect on

that same verbal action thus

this action I'm doing with speech lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others

or to the Affliction of both

is it an unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with speech

leads to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you should suspend such a verbal

action

but when you reflect if you know this is

an action that I'm doing with the with

speech does not affect my does not lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome verbal action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may continue in such a verbal

action

so maybe you're getting the sense this

is about skill development the suitan

it's about having a plan

executing the plan observing how the

plan works and then reflecting on the

consequences of the plan

and how it worked

this is applicable to any skill

this is how you practice instruments

effectively or practice martial arts

effectively

it can be how you practice your

meditation effectively

now we're not doing a skill that we do

we're not working on becoming like we

talked about last night

but it is we can still use this

reflection in our practice

especially when you're out in the world

you can reflect how is your quality of

life improving are things getting

lighter are they getting easier

his life more fun

that's how it should be looking

over time there will be good and bad

days good in bad weeks even

but the trajectory should be

more fun better quality of life

in your practice you can reflect on as

well

and as you know you can't judge a

meditation session

by how many hindrances it has in the

beginning in the middle or the end

they're going to show up when they do

and they're not a problem they're an

opportunity

but you can reflect on what you are

trying to support and encourage in your

practice

you can think well I'm going to sit down

and

I'll be working on being in Quiet Mind

maybe or I'll be working on sending with

my friend

or I'll be working on sending Joy

we can see what you think your plan will

be

oh that's right I've been having that

hindrance come up

I've been needing to seize

I've been having meditation pain

sometimes you get hindrances like

needing to sneeze every single time

I hope you don't

but it may show up every single time you

sit down you have to deal with the urge

to sneeze or cough for a while

but when you have something like that

then it will pass

eventually

then you have your plan well their

meditation pain might happen

oh I'll do this

then you enjoy your practice and

afterwards you reflect

okay that went well that didn't go well

okay

that happened what a surprise

just a moment or two before and after

helps keep you focused

when you're in your busy life

and things are distracting

and it's a long time after retreat

also rahula after you've done an action

with speech you should reflect on that

same verbal action thus

through this action that I did with the

with speech lead to my own affliction

or to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

was it an unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know this action

I did with the speech with speech led to

my own Affliction or to the Affliction

of others or to the Affliction of both

was unwholesome verbal action with

painful consequences with painful

results

then you should confess such a verbal

action reveal it and lay it open to the

teacher or to your wise companions in

the Holy life

having confessed it revealed it and laid

it open you should undertake restraint

for the future

but when you reflect if you know this

action that I did with speech did not

lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it was a wholesome verbal action with

pleasing consequences Pleasant results

you can abide happy and glad training

day and night with wholesome States

now one good thing about

our technology these days is we can stay

connected with our songha

so one thing I encourage people is to

find a meditation group that you can

meet with regularity regularly

and I don't mean to meditate with on

Zoom regularly I mean to to meet once a

week twice a month

talk about your practice

one or three couple people you know that

you can share and reflect what's

happening

and so you can support each other

so you can put it in your busy schedule

and you all meet for that hour

it's easy but soon

and then you can continue to provide

each other with that non-judgmental

space for what's going well and what's

not going well remind each other about

the practice and remind each other what

to do and that can keep momentum going

fantastically

yeah and now we it's it's a button click

away absolutely remarkable

um

rahula when you wish to do an action

with the mind you should reflect on that

same mental action bus

with this action that I wish to do with

the Mind lead to my own Affliction or

the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

is an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know this action

that I wish to do with the mind would

lead to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results then you definitely should not

do such an action with the mind

but when you reflect if you know this is

an action that I wish to do with this

action that I wish to do with the mind

would not lead to my own Affliction or

to the Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is a wholesome mental action with

Pleasant consequences with Pleasant

results

then you may do such an action with the

mind

so

we're not talking about all mental

events here

we can Loosely divide mental events for

the sake of us into two categories

one that we intend to do and the other

or that we do not intend to do

as you may have noticed most of our

mental events are unintended

absolutely

when you have an unwholesome unintended

mental event that's a hindrance

that's not what we're talking about here

when that comes up you treat it with

humor you allow it to be there

you relax

smile will come back to what you're

doing

these unbinmental events uh

these can be surprising these are

sometimes People's First glimpse into

anata or not self

what a surprise

my mind is producing thoughts all on its

own I thought I was doing that

but

no

and they can be quite concerning when we

don't understand we didn't do them

either

the mental events we're talking about

that we are judging our volitional

mental events

choosing how we think of a situation

choosing how we judge a situation or a

person

choosing to bring up loving kindness or

not

it's okay to have opinions about things

and it's okay to have negative opinions

about things because we have our

opinions and some things are

not as skillful as they could be to say

the least

but we can choose not to perseverate on

these and not to dwell on them over and

over again

that sets us up for suffering and that

sets and colors our interaction in the

future

and we can choose to to bring loving

kindness

even to the UN wholesome events under

life

and that's actually our job

also Rahul while you were doing an

action with the mind you should reflect

on that same mental action thus

this action I'm doing with the Mind lead

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

is it an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the Mind

leads to my Affliction or to the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

it is an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results then you should suspend such a

mental action

but when you reflect if you know

this action that I'm doing with the Mind

does not lead to my own

Affliction or to the Affliction of

others or to the Affliction of both

it is a wholesome mental action with

Pleasant consequences and pleasant

results

then you may continue with such a mental

action

in continuing with wholesome mental

actions is our task in daily life

and this is talking about developing

persisting mindfulness

in what we do bringing loving kindness

to all our activities

and arguably this is a very challenging

task

especially if we treat it as a task

if you decide today I'm going to be

mindful all the time

I assure you within a short period of

time you will forget all about it

you'll have a much better luck deciding

to smile all the time

you'll have much better luck setting up

behaviors or reminders for yourself to

remind it

at first you need to make mindfulness a

habit

Pleasant habit but mind likes to rest in

and incline and

this is something we ease into not

something we can make happen

it is surprising how quickly we can

forget our goal of remembering to

radiate method all day

but as we do this more and more and have

more and more cues

we'll find ourselves in places always

remembering to smile always remembering

to living loving kindness always

remembering to bring up Jonna when we

rest

always remembering and before long it'll

occur to you huh

I have been smiling for quite a number

of hours here

if not with effort not with trying with

habit

with making it attractive

for your mind to rest in that

that's how it can work

and you can try to be mindful if you

want if you if you like hindrances or if

you like frustration but

but um yeah

also rahula after you have done an

action with the mind you should reflect

on that same mental action thus

did this action that I did with the Mind

lead to my own Affliction or the

Affliction of others or to the

Affliction of both

was it an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful

results

when you reflect if you know this action

that I did with the Mind led to my own

Affliction or to the Affliction of

others or to the Affliction of both it

was an unwholesome mental action with

painful consequences with painful result

then we should review uh review these

mental actions and view them with

disenchantment

what is missing from this is confessing

mental action

it is not suggested to confess uh

negative mental action

like that

but when you reflect if you know this

action I did with the mind to not lean

to my own Affliction or to the

Affliction of others to the Affliction

of both it was a wholesome mental action

with Pleasant consequences Pleasant

results

you can abide happy and glad Training

Day and Night in wholesome States

and the instructions are to develop just

the disenchantment and dispassion to

unwholesome mental events

so your mind naturally will drop them

and not get involved and stop doing that

rahula whatever recklesses and brahmanas

in the past purified their bodily action

their verbal action and their mental

action all did so by repeatedly

reflecting thus

whatever Reckless is and brahmanas in

the future will purify their bodily

action their verbal action and their

mental action

all will do so by repeatedly reflecting

thus

whatever recluses and brahmanas in the

present are purifying their bodily

action

their verbal action and their mental

action all are doing so by repeatedly

reflecting thus

therefore rahulah you should train those

we will purify our bodily action our

verbal action our mental action by

repeatedly reflecting upon them

that is what the blessed one said the

venerable rahula was delighted in the

satisfied and delighted and the Blessed

one's words

so I thought that was a nice suit that

nice instruction to rahula

and so now

we'll be bringing back our practice to

our daily life

and will be restructuring and trying to

bring practice in with us

so a couple basic recommendations

one is regular meditation practice

I suggest you find a time and schedule

it if you don't have one already

we are incredibly busy at least I think

we all are that is that is laylife Dusty

yeah

cramped packed schedules

and so we need to find time for it in

our schedules

otherwise will forget or find ourselves

in bed at 11 30 about to fall asleep and

eyes will pop open I'm like oh no didn't

meditate today

then you have to get out of bed at 11 30

and go meditate for

half an hour an hour and

we all know what will happen then right

and we'll go back to go to sleep

and then we might find ourselves in

exactly the same position the next day

habitual tendencies

so it's good to schedule this

scheduling first thing in the morning is

a fantastic way to do it and this works

well for most people

we can control our alarm clock

and so we can wake up a little earlier

if necessary

um

like that before bed is another really

nice time and both if you can pull it

off

I think it is good to meditate at least

an hour

so now that you're off when you're off

Retreat you'll notice a dip in the level

of your practice

and this tip will happen

if you can consistently meditate at

least an hour or more

if we'll you'll you'll improve over time

two hours is another fantastic goal

this is if you can find the time to do

that I definitely recommend two hours

however more than that as a goal I would

be cautious about

two hours is a lot as it is

if you have time and energy and space to

more than two hours

great

two hours is a lot to do every day

and what we want is a practice that goes

every day

we want to practice that we do every day

we want to look back

months later years later and oh wow

progress happened I didn't notice it at

the time

but wow

and that happens with a consistent daily

practice

if we meditate for a week for three

hours a day and then we don't get back

to it for three months

that doesn't work if we have a goal of

sitting for three hours a day and then

we do that twice a week not so good

either

so

the schedule what you can what you think

you can do

and be realistic

if it's an hour

bye

that's that's good

if it's a half an hour okay

if you don't think you have time for

half an hour

I think you need to evaluate your

situation carefully

and prioritize

we are very very busy

I myself am scheduled every minute of

every day of every day of the week I

know what I'm doing all the time

literally including Recreation and all

that

what happens to many of us when we are

busy in professional life with families

with commitments

and that's not a problem

that's not a problem at all

but that's what we are working with and

and if you have a schedule like that

then you have to make room for your

practice

and you have to view it maybe a little

ruthlessly

and really look at the priorities

when you can't find a half an hour for

practice there might be a work-life

imbalance happening

and that's no fun

not so fun at all

our job is to help people be happy and

have fun

and I like work I enjoy work a lot a lot

of people enjoy work I hope you do too

and if you don't I hope you can smile

through it

but

we what good are we doing if we're

working that much and we don't have time

to be with our loved ones

and we don't have time to spread

happiness with them

and we don't have time to work on our

spiritual practice

so set the alarm clock a little early

and and consider the priorities

this is something that you can look

forward to

that you prioritize because it's fun

right it's Pleasant it's joyful

and so they'll let it be that

it's like you wouldn't miss brushing

your teeth

don't miss your meditation practice

but we are busy and sometimes we are

busy particularly as lay people

and this means we have to prioritize all

the time practice

when when things are truly not able to

be done that has to be our

Focus

because even if something very difficult

happens and our hour or two hours that

is disrupted

we are awake the rest of the time

when we are awake we can be practicing

and we can bring our practice in

everything we do

and we probably should

everything we do

we can treat it

as a problem

or treat it as something we can accept

even our stressful situations are

difficult situations we can bring loving

kindness to that

and work with that

so that all the time practices are very

helpful to incorporate for those people

who

actually have some days they can't

practice

so that all the time practices involve

meditation cues

we talked about smiling all the time

smiling at people and

putting your sticky notes in random

places

I also recommend finding places in your

work environment that you frequent

quickly

or we are frequently maybe on the way to

the restroom well go there a couple

times per day

you find yourself in that same stairwell

going through that same corridor

only for that reason that can be your

meditation cue

so every time we're there

we can remind ourselves to do that

we can fill our environment with

meditation cues

there are Buddha images those are great

those are clear reminders

and there are other things that we have

again in our work environment that when

we see them they can remind us

many work environments I don't want

anything of a religious or spiritual

nature around

so we pick a flower or a boating beef

body leaves are fantastic very people

people know what they represent and

they're nice leaves

I have them in my office

yep in the hallway

great reminder

so we said remind ourselves with cues

and remind ourselves to be present and

embrace what happens to us with loving

kindness

aversive situations don't have to

be suffering they can be painful but

like a hindrance

they can be embraced and worked with

and that's what we get to do

I mean our choice is to either either

suffer or to work with it skillfully

simply

like that

but as we do this

as we use our practice I also want to

caution against a thing or two

One is using our practice to help us

push ourselves too much

with this practice we're learning to

tolerate difficult situations painful

Sensations

emotions and learn to transform them

into collectiveness and joy

eventually we have access to Joy

whenever we turn our mind to it

and we develop concentration

collectiveness ability to stick with

tasks that's remarkable

great

don't use that to fill your schedule

more

don't build yourself a schedule that is

only navigatable by your meditation

skills

it's a Temptation now that you can oh my

I can do so much more

aside I I am concerned about corporate

mindfulness programs like that and so on

for productivity in workplaces

we have a difficult job and we train

people to be mindful and all of a sudden

they can increase their productivity

and all of a sudden we have a workplace

that you can only navigate by the

incredibly mentally skillful

that's the temptation

don't do that to yourselves

it's possible

keep yourself on the edge of burnout

by working doing as much as you can

managing your schedule perfectly

managing your mind perfectly

figuring out how all the pieces work

together and find yourself with no gas

in the tank

and no flexibility to change that

because all of a sudden you're burnt out

but you can smile and you can deal with

it

so be careful

be careful how you work with your life

make time to be generous to yourself

make time to be generous to your family

and and those around you

and that's that's uh that's something to

watch out for with this

but be joyful

right bring this to people around you

you'll naturally become a reliable

person to people and you'll naturally be

someone they can count on

because your mind will be studying

and you can listen to them

and you can hear them

and not everyone is doing that

so it's a wonderful gift you can give

yourself and your peers and your family

just like that

okay

let's share some there

May suffering ones be suffering free in

the fear struck Fearless be May The

Grieving shed all grief and may all

beings find relief may all beings for

this Merit that we have thus acquired

for the acquisition of all kinds of

happiness

May beings inhabiting space on Earth

Davids and nagas and mighty power

sharing this Myriad of ours may they

long protect the Buddhist dispensation

[Music]

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