Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.



this is Kate Reed Anandi issue were

wondering okay tonight is the grader

series of questions and answers suit two

number forty-three

that's what I heard on one occasion

blessed one was living at Swati in

jeta's grove anathapindika's park then

when it was evening the venerable maha

kajita rose from meditation went to the

venerable sari putas and exchanged

readings with him he actually went with

a bunch of students he was any anytime

you hear infront of a monk named in the

suit does maha that means that they were

very special

there was a team unk's that had that

were given to maha and that was that was

all and all of them were are hot when

this courteous an amiable talk was

finished he sat down at one side and

said to the venerable Sri puta one who

is unwise one who is unwise is said

friend with reference to what is this

said one who is unwise one does not

wisely understand one does not wisely

understand friend that's why this said

one who is unwise and what doesn't one

wisely understand one does not wisely

understand this is suffering now what is

actually talking about here is dependent

origination and each of the links that

have the Four Noble Truths in them one

does not wisely understand this is the

origin of suffering one does not wisely

understand this is the cessation of

one does not wisely understand this is

the way leading to the cessation of

suffering one does not wisely understand

one does not wisely understand friend

that's why it is said one who is unwise

saying good friend the venerable maha

kajita delighted and rejoiced in the

venerable Sri Buddha's words then he

asked a further question one who is on

one who is wise one who is wise is said

friend with reference to what was this

said one who is wise one wisely

understands one wisely understands

friend that's why it is said one who is

wise what does one wisely understand one

wisely understands this is suffering one

wisely understand this is the origin of

suffering one wisely understands this is

the cessation of suffering one wisely

understands this is the way leading to

the cessation of suffering one wisely

understands one wisely understands

friend that is why it is said one who is

wise consciousness consciousness is said

friend with reference to what is

consciousness said it cognizes it


now when we're talking about this word

cognate we generally use the word

recognize and recognize means you

recognize you do it again you cognize

again when it says just cognize it means

that you're seeing something for the

first time and you're very closely aware

of it

that's why consciousness is said what

does it cognize it cognizes this is

pleasant it cognizes this is painful it

cognizes this is neither painful nor

pleasant so what we're talking about

here is feeling with perception okay

perception is an is the part of the mind

that names that kind of feeling that

came up whether it's painful or pleasant

or neither painful nor Pleasant

cognition is the awareness of what

arises but perception is the name that

is the the part of the mind that puts a

name to it it also has memory in it that

is why consciousness is said wisdom and

consciousness friend are these states

conjoined or disjoint and is it possible

to separate each of these states from

the other in order to describe the

difference between them

wisdom and consciousness friend these

states are conjoined not this joint and

it is impossible to separate each of

these states from the other in order to

describe the difference between them

listen very closely now

for what one wisely understands that one

cognizes and what one cog NIH's is that

one wisely understands again we're

talking about the links of dependent

origination and how that process works

that is why these states are conjoined

not disjoint and it's impossible to

separate each of these states from the

other in order to describe the

difference between them so here's the

typical question that would be asked in

Asia when you make that kind of a

statement what is the difference between

wisdom and consciousness these states

that are conjoined not disjoined

the difference friend between wisdom and

consciousness these states that are

conjoined not disjoint is this now

listen closely again wisdom is to be

developed singing the links of dependent

origination and consciousness is to be

fully understood okay you want to hear

it again okay

wisdom is to be developed and

consciousness is to be fully understood

so that means seeing how these links

actually occur with a very clear bright

mate okay

feeling feeling as head friend with

reference to what is feeling said it

feels it feels friend one of the things

that happens in this book is when you

get to the sake putana suit

it doesn't say feeling it says feelings

implying that it's emotional feelings

not actual feeling what does it feel it

feels pleasure it feels pain and feels

neither pain nor pleasure it feels it

feels friend that's why feeling has said

perception perception is said friend

with reference to what was perception

said it perceives it perceives friend

that's why perception is said what does

it perceive now it's going to go into

colors and that that means putting a

name on this color or that color

perception has the very beginning of our

conceptual thinking we only think in

concepts okay this is a chair where is

the chair is it the arms

is it the legs is it the back is it the

seat where

is the concept chair this is made up of

a lot of different little things put

together to make up the concept of a

chair and this is something that we

recognize if you look at this and then

this is a book but where's the book

is it the cover is that the page is it

the print where is book and you can also

do it in another way where is an

automobile is it the wheels is it the

bumper is it the motor motor is a big

concept there's a lot of little pieces

in that to make up that concept is it

the windscreen is it the steering wheel

where is the automobile it's all of

these different things these concepts

put together to make up the concept of

automobile okay so that's what we're

talking about with perceiving it

perceives blue it perceives yellow it

perceives red that perceives white it

perceives it perceives friend

that is why perception is said and that

is why feeling and perception are always

conjoined because if you didn't have the

perception it would just be a feeling

that arises but you wouldn't be able to

know what kind of healing it was

if they can't see it how could they have

a perception of it unless they felt it

what did I just say how could they

perceive it unless they felt it how can

they perceive a chair it doesn't matter

whether they're blind or not right they

still know it's a chair but where is the

chair okay

feeling perception and consciousness

friend are these states conjoined or

disjoint and is it possible to separate

each of these states from the other in

order to describe the difference between

them feeling perception and

consciousness friend

these states are conjoined not disjoint

and it's impossible to separate each

state each of these states from the

other in order to describe the

difference between them listen closely

for what one feels that one perceives

what one perceives that one cognizes

okay so these three are conjoined

interesting little phenomena think about

the five aggregates you have body you

have feeling you have perception you

have consciousness and you have

formations so these five aggregates are

actually three aggregates because these

are always together and in some ways

when you look at something you start to

recognize that's true but also you have

aggregates with different meanings

I can't think of a an example to give to

you tonight we'll have to let that one

go it's not coming see what I mean I

have a deep mind but it's not very fast

for what one feels that one perceives

and what one perceives that one cognizes

that is why these states are conjoined

not disjoint and it is impossible to

separate each of these states from the

others in order to describe the

difference between them now think about

this part very deeply friend what can be

known by purified mind consciousness

released from the five aggregates where

the five aggregates five aggregates are

in your head eyes ears nose tongue body

okay so that means oh let me let me read

on friend by purified mind consciousness

released from the five aggregates the

base of infinite space can be known thus

space is infinite now when I tell you

you don't have a body I literally mean

it you're in a mental realm don't tell

me about what sensations you feel in

your body because that's not real

what's real is that that is mental the

base can be known this okay the base of

infinite consciousness can be known thus

consciousness is infinite the base of

nothingness can be known thus there is

nothing friend with what does one

understand a state that can be known

friend one understands a state that can

be known with the eye of wisdom with

your attention with your mindfulness

this is the eye of wisdom you're seeing

that this is part of an impersonal

process to be quite honest you don't

even have a head not really so where's

consciousness I don't know that's the

interesting argument where is

consciousness it's not any place it just

is why is it because of past actions

that's why we're here it is karmic but

where is consciousness consciousness

arises because the conditions are right

for it to arise when you have a lot of

hindrances and your mind is really

active and jumping all around that comes

from past action that was unwholesome

that you broke a precept and you took it

personally that's why hindrances arise

what you do with what arises in the

present not present moment in the

present dictates what happens in the

future one of the things that has become

real popular here in America is to talk

about the present moment have you ever

tried to truly see the present moment by

the time you see it it's gone there's

another moment so to be accurate

you don't say present moment you just

say the present that slows things down

so you can actually see them

friend what is the purpose of wisdom the

purpose of wisdom friend is direct

knowledge its purpose is full

understanding its purpose is abandoning

okay what are we talking about here

the purpose of abandoning abandoning

what abandoning the false belief in a

personal self this is this is who I am I

am here that's a false belief but we

have to use I I got scolded by somebody

because I kept on saying I and me and

mind but it's just convention

well you're attached give me a break

the purpose of wisdom is full

understanding understanding of what

understanding how this process works

that's the purpose of wisdom and with

direct knowledge so having direct

knowledge how this process works how can

you have an eye or a meet or a mind it's

just a process but we have many millions

of lifetimes of thinking that we are all

this is me this is my body this is what

I do I do good deeds and I do bad deeds

and I'm identifying with all of those

that's why you keep coming back now

you're starting to get more and more an

understanding of the importance of right

effort don't keep your attention on

something don't make a big deal of

something well I had some purple color

horizon so 6r it's nothing it doesn't

matter what it is that arises what

matters is what you do with what arises

and the more you let go of craving and

practice right effort you start seeing

more and more clearly that this is just

a process it's all concepts

but we take these concepts personally

and we cause ourselves huge amounts of

pain I've been I've been talking to

quite a few people today and yesterday

and the day before about forgiveness

what do you think the purpose of

forgiveness is forgiveness is learning

how to let go of that false belief in a

past action that false belief in a

personal self we cause ourselves huge

amounts of pain now when you're

successful with forgiveness what does

that mean it means you've learned to

stop identifying with the pain from past

actions from taking things personally

and that's why you feel huge relief when

you finally realize well it's only that

it's not that big a deal see anything

you make a big deal of guess who was

there and guess who is taking it

personally and guess who is causing

themselves immeasurable amounts of pain

and suffering and when you finally let

go of that pain and suffering what

happens in your mind all of a sudden

your mind is clear your mind is bright

your mind is very observant and then you

go back to your meditation object

whatever that happens to be and it's

real easy to stay with that without

having a lot of

distractions so again please stop making

a big deal out of everything stop taking

on that pain that you're causing

yourself one of the real reasons that I

love Buddhism is the self responsibility

you can't blame somebody else for your

pain because it's yours and you're doing

it to yourself it's real easy to point

at somebody and say you made me mad they

didn't make you mad you made yourself

mad and you took it personally and you

put it and wrap it around your heart and

then you become hard-hearted and then

you have to do some more forgiveness to

let go of that false belief in a

personal self so when I was in India I

was really amazed at how many people I

had to show forgiveness they started

doing loving-kindness but a lot of them

they didn't have any feeling what does

that mean that means their heart is

wrapped around with a lot of false

belief and a personal self a lot of hard

heartedness everything about Buddhism is

opening up and allowing not taking it

personally it's seeing the way it

actually is now after you forgive and

you go do whatever you do memory might

come up of that situation but

there's no more pain in it so now you

can see it as it actually is it's just a

feeling is just a thought it's just a

memory why am I making a big deal out of

it why am i causing myself so much pain

after a few days of doing forgiveness

for the people that I was teaching in

India there was one retreat I gave there

was 11 different countries represented

people were coming from all over all

over the world there was Japanese there

is Koreans there was some quite a few

Indians but people from Europe four or

five different countries in Europe

somebody even came from America amazing

it's a long ways to go to do a retreat

that's all I can think

do you have to convince yourself that

you made a mistake and it's okay that's

what you've repeated over and over again

enough you will you will go oh it's not

that big a deal I forgive right but

that's the past action isn't it

that's a hindrance isn't it it's

something you're taking personally isn't

it okay when you get to the forgiveness

and you get to where you stop taking it

so personally where you truly forgive

yourself then you'll feel relief and it

really is that's why some people it

takes longer than others because they

think something that they did really was

big and we've all made mistakes and it's

okay to make mistakes that's the thing

that we have to start understanding if

you don't make mistakes you're not going

to learn but the trick is don't do it

over and over again okay because then

you start developing that guilty feeling

and that guilty feeling causes you to

take it personally this is a form of

loving kindness but it's loving kindness

to yourself

now you hearing me say over and over

again you be kind to yourself you'd be

gentle to yourself you have fun

okay we make mistakes forgive yourself

for making a mistake right then take the

precepts again determination don't do

that again

now you're not going to be walking

around with a guilty feeling I had some

people that were soldiers and they were

in Afghanistan and they had to do some

really nasty things and caused suffering

and they took that very personally and

it was that's what PTSD is all about is

breaking that precept and taking it

personally and then when you try to

sleep it was such a horrific thing that

you did it will come back at you over

and over again it takes a while to

overcome PTSD but it's not impossible

there was there was one man that he had

to do two retreats of nothing but

forgiving himself but when he let go of

that guilty feeling of doing whatever he

did I don't really care what it was it's

important more important for him than it

is for me to know when I got he got to

this place where he truly forgave

himself because he didn't understand he

didn't understand all of this stuff that

was pushed on him that he took and he

was taking things personally and when he

let go

he walked into the room I didn't

recognize him he was a different person

absolutely beautiful

great stuff it really is sometimes it

takes a while before you can let go I've

had a I had a woman that was raped she

was terribly violated and she had a melt

and measurable hatred towards the person

that did it that's only natural

yeah okay she had to work for I want to

say ten months but it might not have

been quite that long saved nine months

and she finally forgave that person for

that act of violation she forgave the

act if she saw that person walking down

the street she's not going to walk up to

him and give him a hug she's gonna stay

away from him but she didn't have that

extreme pain and I see personality

change that's just remarkable and change

of their whole life it's

it's nice to see somebody worked that

hard to let go of that and they went on

to have good happy lives without having

that memory come back at them and make

that fear come up again because of a

violation of one one sort or another and

that's the same with PTSD forgive

yourself you made a mistake okay keep

forgiving yourself - you really

convinced yourself that you do forgive

that you didn't want to do it you didn't

want that to happen to you you acted or

reacted in a way that wasn't entirely

appropriate one way or another I'm

thinking of PTSD not the rape they

didn't have much to do with that they

were just walking down the street so the

the soldier that I mean he really went

through it he went through a lot of


he went through a lot of anguish he went

through a lot of identification with I

did that and I feel really bad but after

the second retreat he was amazing he was


and that's the first time in a few years

that he even approached the idea of

having any joy in life we beat ourselves

up a lot because we make mistakes and

sometimes we make them over and over

again but that doesn't mean there can't

be a cure for it it really does work

it's that simple it's not easy but it is

that simple and we don't like things

that are simple and we do like beating

ourselves up and causing ourselves all

kinds of misunderstandings and problems

and pain but when you get into the

forgiveness and you start to see how

amazing it is when you get into it

you're gonna start having more and more

room in your heart for love it's really

important the thing with the way that

people are practicing forgiveness right

now it's kind of oh I forgive myself for

doing that and then go off and do

whatever you do you don't really forgive

yourself you got to work at it I did it

for two years I understand it

of course are you are you taking it

personally that you're there guess what

yeah and when you walk into a room and

somebody comes at you with their anger

or dissatisfaction what are you gonna do

you're gonna take their anger and

dissatisfaction and throw it back at

them because you don't like the feeling

you get from that person where are you

gonna have compassion again compassion

is seeing another person suffering allow

them to suffer don't try to talk them

out of it but love them without any

conditions just radiates loving-kindness

you're radiating really compassion and

it doesn't take very long before there

is a change of behavior in the person

that's angry one of two things actually

happened they will start to change and

then you can start discussing or they

will feel so uncomfortable that they'll

leave I'd tell you another story had

full of stories I guess I lived in San

Francisco for a lot of years and I went

to a party and people were smoking pot

and people were drinking alcohol and I

really wasn't very comfortable being

that party I just knew one person and

they I got invited that way and I

thought you know I really don't feel

like talking to any of these people

because their their minds are really


so I started radiating loving-kindness

that sounded like a good thing to do and

people and ones and twos got up out of

the room and went into another room and

before long I'm sitting in the room

alone and I'm creating loving kindness

and I thought well I might as well leave

nobody wants to talk to me but as it

happened there were some people's and

couples there that the wife or mate

whatever they were they weren't

partaking in in the pot or the alcohol

and they came back in the room and there

was three or four of them and we had a

great conversation it was like all of a

sudden we were real close friends and I

found that to be interesting and there

are some people would they feel so

uncomfortable about loving kindness they

just don't want to be around it because

they know how sloppy they are they know

what their mind is doing and they've

kind of feel guilty they want to be away

from happy feelings

so it's really more and more interesting

how life can be so much fun without

anger without causing myself problems

and I still make mistakes

oops okay I forgive myself right then

but if something want to say your mate

comes into the room and their emotional

they've had a bad day they are angry at

everything and they want to give it to

you you don't have to accept it you can

start forgiving them right then and I've

seen absolute miracles happen by doing

this I've seen people that were really

really angry and I at the Meditation

Center that does happen sometimes people

don't get along and they say let's go

talk to Bondi oh good thanks

so what do I do am I gonna get in the

middle of their argument I'm not that


I'm not gonna do anything I'm just gonna

radiate loving-kindness and I've seen it

happen dozens of times they're both

talking at the same time they're they've

raised their voice they're almost coming

to blows but I just sit there and

radiate loving kindness and not really

pay attention to what they're saying

because it's emotional nonsense anyway

and before long I mean within two or

three minutes they start talking to each

other and they start just discussing

what they thought the problem was and

they found out they didn't really have a

problem it was just emotional upset and

I just sit there I don't say anything

after a few more minutes they agree with

each other and they have an

understanding that what you said I

didn't you didn't really mean what I

said I didn't really mean so let's just

let that go and I'm sitting there

radiating loving-kindness and then they

start laughing

they say they actually are they've

forgiven each other and they start to

get along and they they start having fun

and then they say I got to go back to

work I got to do this I got to do that

whatever it is thanks Bunty I don't see

them anymore

and I didn't say anything so this is

part of the purpose of wisdom seeing the

impersonal nature not only of you but of

other people and when they are caught by

emotional upset then you don't get

involved with it you don't take sides

with anybody they come to me because

they know that I'm not going to take

sides I'm not even going to pay

attention to what they're talking about

I'm just gonna focus on loving-kindness

and they know that I will give them what

they want most to be loved everybody

wants that yeah of course why do I think

that why do I say things like do you

want to affect the world around you in a

positive way what do you think I'm

talking about yeah

why that's your problem you're judging

you're judging you're taking it

personally and you're practicing pity

and pity always causes more problems

than it's worth so you let go of that

you develop your equanimity so it

doesn't matter okay they come in the

room and they're arguing I'm not gonna

make a judgment one way or the other I'm

just going to start loving them okay you

have you in particular have a tendency

to try try to take other people's pain

away and that causes you to be unhappy

pity doesn't work if you go to a doctor

and he really doesn't like to give a

shot and he's going to give you a shot

and right before he does it he goes

I don't want that shot I don't care how

good that shot is for me because he's

doing it out of pity and there's no

Ealing in that there's healing and

compassion there's healing and

acceptance there's not no judgments you

don't need to be judging the good or bad

sure there's good and bad

there's times that are hard in times

that aren't so hard but you can always

develop the equanimity so it's not such

rigid experience just love them

that's the thing that everybody wants

sometimes that can be in in an area it's

not my home but I'll see people that are

starting to argue I can be across the

street it doesn't matter I can start

sending loving-kindness to them and I

watch it happen Lots how people stop

doing that how they start discussing

what the problem is letting go of their

anger their dissatisfaction and then

they get to be friends so it is pretty

amazing but the part the thing is you

have to remember to do it don't get

caught up in the emotional upset a

couple nights ago I was talking about

nurses that were taking care of children

that have cancer a lot of times they can

only do that for so long and then they

have to go to another they can take on

another job they can't stand to be with

somebody that's suffering so much

you can't take their suffering away but

you can love them and you can have fun

with them not pity them the more you

radiate loving-kindness in to a

situation it always turns out better it

works I wouldn't tell you about it if it


and I sometimes I have students that try

to guess but me and they want to argue

with me about ya but they did this and I

don't care

I really don't all I see is that you're

suffering but I can't take your pain

away but I can certainly love you that's

how you affect the world around you in a

positive way why do you think it would

be any different I've had more practice

in giraffe that's all but it's not my


it's just focusing on love and let love

go where it needs to go

when I was visiting people in hospitals

they were in extreme pain a lot of them

they were getting close to death what

good does my feeling sorry for them do

them what does it do for me it makes me

suffer and if I'm gonna suffer I'm gonna

start to feel helpless oh you poor dear

I'm sorry I gotta go but I don't do that

I walk in the room yeah there they could

be moaning and groaning they can be in

real serious pain but after a few

minutes of loving them then they start

to change their their level of

consciousness starts to come up to my

level and I'm happy well how can you be

happy when somebody's dying why not is

that going to help them to be sorry for


it doesn't work there was a man that had

a had a tumor right here it was on the

carotid artery and it was a major

surgery that he had to have so the night

before he went in for surgery I got he

and his family together and I started

teaching them loving kindness and I

talked very much about you are never

helpless ever there's always something

you can do to help practice your

generosity so it took the men that was

going to have the operation I put him in

the middle and his family all around him

in a circle and we already do

loving-kindness to it and his mind

became very peaceful and accepting

and then I took each one of the other

family members and I put them in the

middle of the circle and we all radiated

loving kindness to them and they liked

that they really thought that day this

is good this is fun

and I can do that any time you don't

ever have to indulge in pain even though

it's there the interesting thing with

this particular man he went into the

hospital they started operating on them

on him and they said it was going to

take between seven and eight hours you

know there's six and seven hours excuse

me so what was I doing all day I knew he

was in the hospital I'm radiating loving

kindness to him

I'm ready loving kindness to the doctor

I'm reading the loving kindness to the

nurses and I really loving kindness to

the family I did it all day I'm just

walking back and forth radiating loving

kindness and acceptance of whatever

happened I mean this was a serious

operation and I didn't hear anything

from the family and I thought well this

is kind of odd but okay maybe he just

took a little bit longer after ten hours

it's one of the family members called me

up and said he's still in surgery

it wound up taking 13 hours and one of

the reasons it took so long was because

of the levee

time as I was ending to the doctor so he

was particularly careful

he wasn't I wasn't able to see him after

he got out because they put him on they

they just shut his whole body down they

put him on total life for a life

whatever you call it so the day after

that they put him in a hospital room now

the hospital room was a little bit

bigger than this room and there were

beds one right beside the other that's

the way it is in Asia and some hospitals

so the family came and they picked me up

and I'm going into the and to see him

and one of his relatives really started

to get into her pity and she had so much

fear and anxiety and that sort of thing

I actually told her to go visit somebody

else and I I pulled up a chair and I sat

beside this man and I held his hand I

just radiated loving kindness now he was

really weak after about an hour he

started getting a little fidgety and he

started moving a little bit and I

changed the bed so that he was sitting

straighter and after about two hours I

was seeing him get stronger and after a

couple hours I thought okay he's getting

stronger he'll do fine so I turned

around ready to go away and the guy in

the bed next to me

said can you hold my hand he was a

Muslim the muslims in malaysia do not

particularly like buddhist monks but he

asked if I would help it of course it

took me almost four hours to get out of

the hospital cuz I get down with one

another one would say can you hold my


they all felt that love and acceptance

no judging no fear no anxiety the man

got out of the hospital about three days

later which was pretty remarkable he was

a school teacher and the operation was

such that he could only whisper so I

went to see him when it was home and I

told him didn't you go outside and walk

yeah I can I can walk and I'm strong

enough to do that so I had him doing the

walking meditation while he was

radiating loving-kindness I said just a

half an hour that's enough and he did it

I think three times a day but he kept on

getting stronger he was really feeling

good but he couldn't talk and he thought

oh I'm not gonna be able to teach


we love to teach and I think it was a

fourth day he called me up on the phone

and his voice was regular I said what

happened he said I was wishing all

beings happiness and then I started

wishing my family happiness and I had to

spit and he spit up this big blob of

stuff that was on his his vocal cords

and then now he could speak again but I

didn't do it it wasn't me it was

focusing on loving-kindness being

patient with it yeah

I wouldn't do that I wouldn't do that I

would just radiate to all of them at the

same time I don't know sometimes it

works fast sometimes it doesn't I don't

know I'm not in control all I'm doing is

focusing on it it can go where it wants

to go and do what it wants to do yeah

intuition you'll just feel like yeah

okay everything is doing good and

because of that I started going to the

hospital everyday because people were

talking about me like I'm something

special and I'm not I'm just a regular

guy that loves people that's it you have

to remember to do it that's the key

don't get caught in your sadness don't

get caught in your anxiety and fear and

whatever I mean he could have died but

why what good would it do me to worry

about that how can I help somebody else

if I'm worrying some pretty good

question and then

right in front of me but that doesn't

matter I was also teaching

loving-kindness every night and we had a

healing group where there was 10 or 12

people that would come once a week and

they would come with a photograph of

somebody that was really sick so we'd

pass the photograph around and put it in

the middle and then just start radiating

loving kindness it's amazing what can

happen and it's kind of fun yeah


what do I care what they think

I'm happy in myself if they want to join

me in the happiness that's great if they

don't okay say I don't judge them they

can be the way they want to be that's

part of compassion if I take it

personally I'm gonna make myself sad so

what's so fun in that I have a lot of

people that throw disrespect at me

because I disappoint them because I'm

not doing the same things that they're

doing and that's fine they can they can

be like that if they want what are they

doing to their mind with the kind of

judgments and the bad thoughts and how

much are they breaking precepts because

they're doing that

so I try to let people do and be the way

they want to be

I still get caught sometimes but I don't

beat myself up so much anymore yeah what

else what else can I do

well but be careful of your judging

that's gonna that's gonna make you sad

don't do that to me I don't like

pedestals you know if I get it I get put

it on a pedestal

quite often I jump down from it I don't

want to be in a pedestal it hurts if you

get if you fall off it's not worth it

and like I said last night I truly don't

care about being popular I don't care

about being famous it's not me that I

want people to focus on I want them to

focus on the loving kindness so they can

be that way if they want it's okay some

people they like more attention than

others I'm not one of those people that

wants a lot of attention and I'm almost

getting too much when I'm in some of the

Asian countries because I'll be walking

down the street and people will come up

to me and say I know you I saw you on on

the Internet I'm good thanks and I try

to go away if you're too famous you have

an awful lot of people coming at you and

I don't particularly enjoy that

and I don't want to be put on a pedestal

I freely give to you because I love you

all of you if I didn't I wouldn't be

here if I can be an example for you to

be happy that's my job great and I see

your face is starting to light up now

some of you I've told you that your face

is really getting beautiful

you're losing tensions and tightness in

your face and you some I had a lady that

she was I think she was 78

she had the deepest wrinkles in her face

that was just unbelievable I had her

doing some forgiveness and she let go of

some stuff and all of a sudden she

didn't have wrinkles in her face anymore

she she lost ten years at least off her

face that's what I live for to see that

to see her face blow and to see that I

know that it's coming from your mind and

there's an effect of doing this so I see

how successful you are by doing the

meditation I don't know the job that's

better than this really

I don't have to think or worry about

anything I have food I have a place to

stay I have clothes even though they're

a little weird I have medicine oh I

learned a long time ago

especially if I'm in Asia I'd never tell

anybody I've got a cold coming on

because then I get a box full of

medicines take this this works all the

time every this really works good so I

wind up giving most of that medicine

away because I like to heal naturally as

much as they can so I die i travel with

vitamin d3 vitamin c some other vitamins

and some minerals and I know the way to

heal my body the fastest and that is

when you start feeling achy and you

start feeling like the cold is coming on

stop what you're doing go lay down take

some vitamins sleep if you're gonna

sleep the longest I've had a cold in the

last four or five years is eight hours

and you know how much I'm traveling I

don't I don't get colds not very often

and when I do I take rest because that's

what your body is really telling you it

needs it needs to be comfortable and

that doesn't mean I laid down and I read

a book or I listen to music or

watch something on the some kind of

device or other no I just lay down and

rest and I radiate loving kindness to

myself that works it's not a maybe the

purpose of wisdom is full understanding

understand how to be in harmony with

yourself that's why I changed the words

in the a fold path it makes more sense

that you be in harmony with yourself if

you're truly in harmony with yourself

everybody around you will like you

that's true

the purpose of wisdom is abandoning Oh

using the sixers letting go of the

craving that's the purpose of wisdom

dependent origination is conditional

everything in life has conditions in it

what we need to do is learn how to let

go of those conditions by letting go

craving and then you can experience the

unconditional it's not something you can

talk about why because it's conditional

ideas that you're trying to get across

I've been with a lot of monks that they

want to debate about what is nirvana

no I don't want to get in that dock it's

it's how can you describe something that

doesn't have any conditions when we're

in a world that is only conditional but

some monks they like they really like to

get into that sort of thing and see if

they can learn something from it but the

way you learn is by doing not by reading

not by philosophizing not by anything

that pulls your mind away from happiness

mindfulness collectiveness see one of

the things I'm trying to teach you in

this retreat is that this is not a sum

once in a while sitting meditation this

is an all the time practice

you're walking down the street and a bee

bites you or stings you whatever what do

you do with your mind with that well you

know that bee is gonna die because his

stingers in you why don't you send some

loving kindness to the place that causes

that the pain is and that being that's

gonna die

why get angry with that sort of thing

why run away I was in Thailand and I

went to this one monastery and they

didn't particularly like Westerners so

they gave me a cabin that was quite a

long ways away and right beside the

cabin there was a wasp nest and these

kind of wasps are really mean and they

really do cause a lot of swelling and

they can even kill you if there's enough

of them so they thought that was that

was going to be kind of a funny thing so

they'd see me running and swinging my

hands around trying to get a wasp off of


so I fine so I started radiating loving

kindness to the wasp now I had to get

out every morning go fourarms around

come back go to the place where I could

take a shower or take a bath or whatever

you want to call it it's good clean and

then come back I mean I was going in and

out fairly often and I never got stung

I'd go out in the morning and they would

come down and

then they're there and say hey how you

doing this morning and radiate some

loving kindness to them the other monks

would come to visit me and they couldn't

get to my cabin because they would get

stung and I never get stung ever

it was really kind kind of unusual but

it makes sense

every being wants the same thing

everybody wants to be loved so give it

to them that's practicing your

generosity it's an all the time practice

you don't just let your mind go off on

tangents and think about this and think

about that and worry about this way why

don't you read radiates some equanimity

radiates some loving-kindness to

yourself really loving kindness to ever

you're with develop the habit of doing

it and I guarantee your life is going to

be a lot more fun

so what to do it's your choice now

there's gonna be some people leaving so

I wanted to talk a little bit about what

to do when you get home it's your choice

what you do when you get home I do

recommend that it's a good idea to sit

at least an hour a day but you should

never ask me how long you should sit

don't ever do that cause I'll tell you

what six hours a day is a good day for

me what I do is I like to get up around

two o'clock in the morning lately that I

don't know where that's coming from

but I'll sit till oh maybe six o'clock

maybe seven o'clock

whatever sitting is good it's

interesting my mind is reasonably quiet

I have a lot of happiness by sitting I

like to say it's fun to sit so I do that

but there's some times that I might only

sit for one hour okay

or I might sit for two hours I have the

time to do it that's the advantage of

being a monk I have time I don't have to

go to work and worry about money don't

think about money it's not so important

if you take care of dama dama takes care

of you it's really true

I even proved that to myself before I

became a monk I spend all my time

helping other people I hope I help with

hospice I help with people in the

hospital I help with whoever needed help

there is one day that I noticed that our

one of the neighbors from my mother have

round my mother's house they'd let the

grass grow real high so I asked my mom

why is she doing that

she said well she's in the middle of a

divorce and she's really an emotional

wreck so I said okay so I went into the

garage I got a lot more and I motored on

and she came out she said why did you do

that I need to pay you I said no I don't

want any money well why did you do that

I did that to help you I did that so

that your mind could be happy then I

cleaned stuff up put put away there's a

lot more and did something else she

needed to have somebody know that she

that she was cared for and right after

that she started to get happy on her own

doing things to help

and it was fun I enjoyed Gutner lon

the more you start becoming aware of

other people in their suffering and

don't feel sad because of it but help

them by doing something that will make

their mind uplifted and happy that's

what life is for it's not earning money

I gave a talk to one time in Malaysia

and I said I asked him a question I said

what's more important time or money Oh

money he's a lot more important Chinese

they're like that and I said really I

said well let's go to the hospital and

ask somebody that's dying which is more

important time or money time is much

more valuable than money and use your

time well so that you help other people

say things that make them smile do

things that help them to overcome their

suffering and radiate loving kindness

while you're doing it

the only big store well there's now

there's a few that are starting to come

into this town but we do most of our

shopping at Walmart that's the that's

where we can get our supplies and quite

often I will see some short lady looking

up at something on top shelf and there's

no way they can rate they can reach it

so I hear that's what you wanted right

well yeah you're really useful to have

around and made her happy that I paid

enough intention to help her overcome a


quite often I go buy a little kid and

tell their parents what a lovely little

kid they have how nice they are what do

you think that does for mom and dad yeah

that's a good one

why do I do something like that it's fun

okay it's fun

so help other people to relieve their


one of the problems with the kind of

loving kindness that's being practiced

by most people right now is it's all

mental and they're not particularly

helpful to other people they think about

their own loving kindness and how that

how good that is but they're not

practicing the loving kindness they're

just practicing a mental discipline and

I know about it I did it for a few years

at one time I did it for eight months

that kind of meditation but I was never

really satisfied with it loving kindness

is holding a little little dog or a

little cat and having a connection with

them or well I was in Malaysia some a

woman was pregnant and she came to me

and she asked if I would give her a

blessing of course I'll give you a

blessing but I found out some years ago

that water holds memory and it's been

proved now so what I did was I got some

water and I

in a glass bottle and I was radiating

loving-kindness to her for five or ten

minutes and I said here now you take

that and every day I want you to pour a

little bit out and massage your baby

while you're practicing loving-kindness

if you feel a little sick and drink

something some strange things started

happening now when this lady she when

she had her baby

she didn't have any fear and anxiety her

mind was very uplifted and happy and I

was in the hospital outside the room and

just making sure everything was okay and

she had the baby with almost no pain I

mean it was just that was it just popped

out like it was so after after she had

the baby I said okay I'm gonna leave so

I I went home the next day I went to the

hospital I wanted to see the baby and

the mother started saying the baby isn't

crying and she seems to be sleeping a

lot that's no problem

I held the baby and I'm radiate loving

kindness to the baby and I'm gave the

baby back about two weeks later I went

to visit the baby again I wanted to see

how much it didn't grow and the mother

said you know this baby is really

strange because the baby's sleeping all

night and the baby was in a little thing

for babies to sleep in and saw me looked

up and went wow the baby felt my energy

so after that I had a lot of pregnant

women I was I was at that Center for a

little over a year and there was I call

him my babies there was 27 of them and

all of them were really happy they got

along they there they weren't much

trouble they did all kinds of nice

things and then I left Malaysia and I

didn't come back for

oh I guess it was 15 years and all of a

sudden these little babies are grown

people Wow

why did that make me feel old that's

that's the the test of whether you're

getting older or not how big the kids

are when you remember them that way that

we're only that high and I did all of

that because I felt like the right thing

to do so when you get off retreat if you

want to explore some of the other jhanas

that you were in you make a

determination that I'm going to get into

this drama and stay in that Jonathan and

if you your mind starts to go off and

get quiet you can 6r and just come back

to that drama you went through all of

the Jonah's very quickly because I

pushed you you didn't know why I was

pushing him but I was so say you want to

get in you want to find out more about

what's all the different things that

happen while you're in the first jhana

so you make a determination I'm not

going to go any higher than the first

jhana and stay with that for a few days

every time you sit just for this sitting

I'm not going to go any higher than this

jhana do that every every time you want

to do the city and you can explore what

the first jhana really is if you

continue on and do with the second jhana

or third jhana or fourth jhana it's up

to you you're in charge of yourself

don't ask me what to do because I'll

tell you to sit for six or seven hours a

day but when you're walking from here to

your car what are you doing with your

mind ho-hum thinking this thinking that

planning this oh I gotta go do that I

gotta do that well you know what you're

gonna do so you don't have to

continually tell yourself over and over


why don't you radiate some

loving-kindness when you're walking

there's a practice that the Buddha did

that sounds really simple but it's

really not

and every time he started to walk he

always walked with his right foot first

tried that practice for awhile and it

was surprising how many times I forgot

about it but what I did was I went back

to where I started and then I made the

determination I'm gonna start with my

right foot or every time you open a door

when you touch the doorknob really need

some loving kindness or when you get up

and I would really love for you to get

into the habit before you go to sleep at

night tell yourself that you're going to

smiling and happy get in the habit of

doing that and when you wake up that way

then keep it going

david has a thing on his phone about

this guy that was talking about what

happens when you smile it actually does

change your mood and it makes you happy

practice it you know it's okay for you

to have fun you don't have to suffer you

don't have to get into your pain and

anxieties that's your choice if you do

it the more you practice smiling the

more uplifted your mind becomes the more

uplifted your mind becomes the better

your mindfulness becomes

so this is an all the time practice just

because you sit in meditation doesn't

mean that you're a meditator a true

meditator is somebody that recognizes

the hindrances when they come up in

their daily life and they use six R's

and they let go of whatever that

hindrance happens to be so make it on

all the time practice having equanimity

is it's a great practice having that

balance of mind then you're not going to

have so many emotional outburst you're

not gonna have so much fear and anxiety

and worry and you can do that if you

want that's up to you but I'd rather be

happy it just takes practice remember to

do that so every time you see a doorknob

and you start reaching for it make it a

habit of radiating loving-kindness to

somebody around you now don't look

another person in the eye when you're

radiating loving-kindness because that

can cause a lot of confusion and

sometimes it can be a hassle but you can

certainly radiate loving-kindness while

you're looking around and radiate to

everybody around you it doesn't matter

if you look them directly in the eye

they can this read that especially for

women then that turns into more problems

and you really want to do

with Hawking and I don't finish the suta

maybe tomorrow so let's hear some merit

me suffering ones be suffering free and

the fear struck fearless be made the

grieving at all grief and may all beings

find relief may all being fair this

merit that we have less acquired for the

acquisition of all kinds of happiness

may beings inhabiting space and the

earth day visit Nagas a mighty power

share this merit of ours and they don't

protect the Buddha's dispensations