From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=_M6gYOZgtDs

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

I know it sounds a lot in that I want

you to smile but the more you smile the

easier it is to progress with your

meditation so please smile all smile

with your mind

smile with their eyes even when your

eyes are closed be surprised how much

tension and tightness you hold with your

eyes a little smile on your face and the

smile in your heart would you start

practicing love kindness meditation you

first start by sending loving and

sucks to yourself the first 10 minutes

of every city I want you to read

loving-kindness to yourself you remember

a time when you were happy when that

happy feeling arises it's a nice glowing

warm feeling in the center of your chest

it's like the first time you held a baby

in your arms and you felt that

connection or a puppy once you have that

feeling of rise then you make a wish

four-year-old math might be peaceful

that would come when you make a wish you

want to feel the wit know what it feels

like to be happy that put that feeling

really that they like to yourself you

know what it feels like to be peaceful

and calm then take that feeling and put

it in the center of your heart and brain

defect in yourself while you do this

your mind is going to wander you're

going to start thinking about other

things as soon as you notice that your

mind has gone away from sending loving

and bad thoughts to yourself you

recognize that your mind is distracted

you release the distraction you release

the distraction by not keeping your

attention on it so you see the truth

this distraction has come up just let it

be there by itself

don't keep your attention laughing I

know that there are some forms of

meditation where they telling you that

you have to note it until it goes away

that is not right effort in right after

you let it go relax tension and

tightness in your head think your mind

your brain basically has two lobes in it

and there's a membrane that moves around

your grade and every time you have the

thought every time there's a feeling

everything

sensation your brain expands out against

that membrane that causes tension and

tightness to arise the tension and

tightness is great that's how you

recognize crazy when they rise it's this

tension and tightness in your head in

their mind it's not bacon it's just a

little slight tension so you relax and

let it be when you relax and let it be

you don't notice right after that you

don't have any distracting thoughts your

mind is clear your mind is alert bring

that clear over your mind to something

that's also and that is as soon as you

smile then bring that back object

stay was your object of meditation as

long as you can huh this is what I

called the six artists and you're going

to hear me talk about it so much you're

gonna be tired of Jerry Payne six ours

is right effort according to the old

path this will take you all the way to

our a hot ship

it's real important

now this relaxed step I said it was

crazy and it is but what is crazy

craving is the iodine

mind I like it when there's a pleasant

feeling their eyes they don't like it

when there's a painful feeling that

arises so you allow it to be whatever

feeling that is rises let it be there by

itself and relax

then smile come back to your object of

meditation stay with your object of

meditation as long as you can the first

day of a retreat is generally what I

call the first day mousse because your

mind is still out there thinking about

this or that and you'll have some sloth

and torpor you'll have restlessness your

mind is not going to be very settled at

all but that is the hardest part of the

retreat is the first day so don't get

upset if it's not going the way you want

the first day the second day is much

easier I promise it doesn't matter how

many times your mind is distracted

what matters is what

with a distraction when it arises now if

you have like little tiny thoughts that

are coming in while you're staying with

your object object meditation if it

doesn't pull your attention away ignore

those thoughts and just stay with your

object of meditation stay with wishing

yourself well okay only when your

attention is over way then you use the

six artisan come back

okay now distractions are not your enemy

to fight with they actually are your

teachers they teach you where your hen

ramesses are what is the cause of

hindrance is arising because in the past

you have broken precepts in other words

you have the sage said something that

wasn't true okay now Asia the big thing

is you never tell somebody the truth if

you can

little white lies that a little way lies

still alive

and that causes you to have a guilty

feeling there's a little voice in your

mind that says I shouldn't have done

that I know it's not the right thing to

do and that causes a false belief and a

personal self so every time a hindrance

of rise it's a hold your attention away

from your object

meditation every time that happens it is

because in the past you broke a preset

now I'm gonna have you taking the

precepts every morning not as a right

and ritual I don't want you just

repeating it while you're thinking about

other stuff you take the precepts with a

serious mind and get in the habit of

keeping the precepts and that makes your

meditation that much better okay final

settle down a lot quicker

when a priest went when a entrance of

rises it is telling you it's time to let

go of that guilty feeling and that's

what using the six artists is all about

when you let go of that wrong belief in

a personal self when you relax and then

there's no distraction in your mind you

would have purified your mind right then

and you bring that pure mind to

something wholesome smile one of the

things that is very confusing for a lot

of people that are doing meditation is

the word mindfulness it seemed to catch

on real big in America and all of a

sudden you're hearing about mindfulness

of sexual activity mindfulness what

makes

I went to a conference and gave a talk

had a mindfulness conference and they

talked about it but when I got up and I

started asking them questions now this

was and they're all pretty well

practiced in meditation so I said you

heard about mindfulness what's the

definition of my influence and it got

quiet interesting so I said I'm going to

give you a definition of my influence

that works a hundred percent of the time

mindfulness is remembering to observe

how mind's attention moves from one

thing

another so your mind it's was you're

sending loving unkind thoughts to

yourself and all the sudden you're

thinking about this or that how did that

happen what happened first what happened

after that what happened after that so

mindfulness means closer observation of

what is arising in our mind when you

observe that your mind is pulled away

then you use the six hours and come back

so look forward to your first day being

kind of active then your mind is gonna

be dull and then it's gonna be

overactive then don't take it too

personally it's just your mind going

crazy for a little while

mine does that and that's okay for it to

do that there's one three things that I

want you to do on this retreat one I

want you to smile a lot do I want you to

laugh and I want you to have fun

meditation to do that one of the things

that happens especially if you've done

other retreats and you're told by the

teacher you have to try harder and when

you try harder you have more hindrances

arise because you're putting in too much

effort too much energy and your progress

is really not very good because your

mind starts to get hard so when I tell

you I want you to have fun I really

sincerely meaning have fun with

meditation don't be serious with it play

with it like it's a team okay you start

getting serious what happens well then

you start pushing a little bit and you

try to control a little bit and your

meditation goes down the tubes and you

come and you start complaining to me

like I had something to do with it your

being over serious

you have great deep thoughts well what

do you think repeats so that's why did

they come up just like they're on a tape

deck they come up why because you're

trying to control you're trying to make

your mind be the way you want it to be

you're not backing off you're trying to

push and that means you have a big

attachment I want

the whole point of learning about

craving is the very start of the false

belief and the personal self begins at

craving and I know the the full path

that I know that it says that it's not

until clinging that you really take on

the personal belief but that's not the

start of it the start of it is at

creating I promise you that's great

don't try to do things too fast you

notice that your mind is distracted okay

the list you take things personally

the better your meditation becomes and

this is real important now when you were

in school and you had a class that you

really liked what kind of grade did you

get in that class good grades right why

as it was fun

well life is supposed to be fun

oh no that's not the first noble truth

[Music]

everything in life is suffering no

that's not the first noble truth the

first noble truth is there is suffering

in life yeah that's an old truth but not

everything in life is suffering as a

matter of fact the Buddha said there's a

right way to teach and the wrong way to

teach and the wrong way to teach is

everything in life is suffering the

right way too deep there is cessation of

suffering let's look for the way out

when yours when you're sitting listening

to the

please do not cross your arms this is a

thinking posture it blocks your heart

and you only hear about 60% of what's

being said and also I'll have please

don't cross your legs so after about 10

minutes of sending loving and kind

thoughts to yourself then you pick a

spiritual friend a spiritual friend is

someone of the same sex they are alive

not a member of your family a spiritual

friend is someone that when you think of

them you know have respect for them you

really do leave them well not everybody

is going to be perfect they're gonna

have their own flaws but don't think

about their flaws okay so as soon as you

starts and

to your spiritual friend a lot of people

tried to do visualization of her friend

and a lot of people are not very good at

visualization I'm not good at

visualization sometimes it's there

sometimes it's not sometimes it's cloudy

sometimes it's fuzzy sometimes this is

like the bad reception on the television

that's always little sparkly things

sometimes it's like it's a long way as

always

sometimes it just disappears it doesn't

matter you know who you're sending your

friend your loving kindness to that's

enough of the visualization sometimes

people get real caught up and they

really have to try hard to try to know

I'm having so many problems with

visualizing well

you put it in the wrong kind of effort

it makes it harder it might becomes more

scattered you become frustrated even get

a little bit angry because it's not

going the way you wanted to well stop

demanding that it be that way if you can

visualize you can see them like a

picture in front of you fight but when

it disappears never mind you know who

you're sending it to that's enough

you only want about 5% of your attention

on the visualization anyway about 20% of

your attention on making a wish and

feeling the witch the rest of the time

the 75% of your attention on the feeling

of loving-kindness so you make a wish

feel the wish take your friend put them

right in the middle of that wish and

give them a heart of stay with your

friend as long as you can if thoughts

come up but they don't pull your

attention away ignore if it sucks just

stay with your crap the more sincerely

you wish them happiness

the faster your profit

because in the meditation the more you

smile the better your meditation becomes

they smiling helps your mindfulness to

get stronger it really does work that

way and you'll notice when your

mindfulness is good when your mind here

you start slipping away and your mind

starts getting heavy

well that 6r right then let it go don't

get involved in the story about things

don't make a big deal out of stuff

so one of the things you're going to

notice is sloth and torpor why it is

sloth and torpor of rice sloth and

torpor arises because you're not taking

enough interest in staying with your

spiritual friend what happens is you're

with your spiritual friend and then your

mind starts to hold up just a bit

and think little tiny thoughts of this

and that and before you start getting

dreaming and before your posture starts

to slow and then after that your head

start

yeah I know that one too so sit

straighter than usual a little bit

straighter so it's it almost hurts and

then when your mind starts slumping

you'll catch it more quickly and you'll

be able to straighten up and come back

the biggest problem with sloth and

torpor is your it starts bobbing a

little bit and then you notice it and

then you try to sit up really fast and

you say okay now I'm really gonna stay

with my take an interest in how the

process works that's real important so

try to see every little part of sloth

and torpor or every little part of

having a scattered mind what happens

first take an interest and smile into it

have fun with it

you don't get over serious I have done a

lot of meditation I've done a lot of

retreats with a lot of different people

and it's always amazed me that when I

walk in

people are doing meditation there's a

lot of problems absolutely trying hard

and what if what happens to my mind now

is my mind goes boy I don't want to be

here anymore I want someplace else

because everybody's trying so hard and

that's a true hindrance to your practice

when you see that you're starting to get

a headache it's because you're trying to

our back off don't try so hard

kind of laugh with yourself because

you're trying to control and that's

really ridiculous to try to control the

feeling right you don't ask feelings to

come up you don't say you don't haven't

had a feeling that a pain in my back in

a long time I might as well

now it comes up because conditions are

right for it to arise what you do with

what arises in the present dictates what

happens in the future if you fight with

what happens in the present if you try

to control it it can be the way you want

it to be that's a cause of suffering and

you are causing your own suffering

you can't blame anybody else for your

suffering you are doing it to yourself

you're trying to control you're trying

to make it be the way you want it to be

doesn't work like guarantee or you can

use the six hours and say okay that

feeling is there so what it's only

feeling happiness first okay so it's

painful so it's not yours anyway

why fight with it why trying to control

it allow it to be there by itself now

there is a difference between real pain

and meditation thing real pain is let's

say you have a pain in your back and you

always have a pain

in your back so you sit for a little

while and it starts hurting and then you

can get up and you start walking and the

pain doesn't go away that's real pain I

want you to sit in a posture that is

more comfortable sometimes you need to

have a pillow that you can put in the

small of your back and that's enough

that will help it so that it doesn't

cause you a lot of pain

sometimes if you pick one foot up a

little bit higher than the other put a

pillow underneath sometimes that

straightens things out enough so you

don't have pain it's okay to experiment

with that I want you to sit as long as

you can without having serious pain

meditation pain it's just as painful

sometimes even more so but when you get

up and you start walking that pain goes

away in a minute or two oh that's a

meditation pain that should sit through

that don't give in to it

but look at what your mind does with the

paint I don't like it

I want to stop I want it to go away

every thought about the pain makes the

pain bigger and more intense and it

turns into an emergency and you can stab

it anymore

who doesn't like it

who was it to go away

who wants to control it

anytime you make a big deal out of

anything I don't care whether it's a

physical pain or mental pain you make a

big deal out of it in your mind it's

gonna stay for a long time and cause you

all kinds of problems then you have and

it's kind of an interesting thought then

I think I'll stick with this one for a

little while

oops

[Music]

what if it's such an interesting thought

mentally put a red flag on it and say

after the retreat we'll have that

thought come back don't pay attention to

it right now don't make a big deal out

of any kind of or feeling that arises

it's just causing your mind to get

scattered and you'll hear a lot more

about that tomorrow so I want you to

start by sitting no less than a half an

hour now there are some people that have

been doing meditation with me for a

while I don't want you sending

loving-kindness to the spiritual friend

I want you to do the six directions and

you know what I mean by that start with

loving babies but everybody else stay

with the same spiritual friend until

they tell you to change now I'm not

going to be giving interviews tomorrow

you need that they practice before we

have something to talk about the day

after tomorrow I'll start seeing

everybody every day when you're sitting

is good sit longer this is a natural

process and there's gonna be some times

that you remember your meditation it's

got to be a real good and you'll just

stay with it just because you hear a

bell for breakfast doesn't mean you have

to rape your city when you're sitting is

good

stay with the city make sure you get

enough

don't worry about and the same with much

if you're sitting is really good don't

break your sitting just because of food

the precepts that I give you have David

given to you is not eating solid food

after the noonday meal the Mende meal

for me is 11 o'clock but it's not the

same for you the midday meal might be

12:30 or 1:00 o'clock if you're sitting

is good stayed with the city until it's

time to break and then you can come and

get some food okay know when you get up

from your city I want you to do your

walking meditation and that means

staying with your spiritual friend while

you're walking

don't walk slowly you're walking for

exercise you're walking the stretch out

of your muscles in your legs as your

be used in sitting for as long as you

look so while you're walking keep your

eyes down if you're looking around and

there goes your mind and then you're

thinking about something else but your

mind is going to do that at first anyway

because you're not used to doing a

walking meditation your mind gets

distracted fine don't get angry with

yourself

don't pull pull your mind around and say

no it's got to stay here be gentle be

kind to yourself just notice that your

mind is thinking about something else

six are back stay with your friend as

long as you get doesn't matter how many

times your mind distracts what matters

is what you do with the distraction so

you use the six hours

and that helps you a lot okay

walk for 15-20 minutes if your walking

is good walk longer up to 45 minutes any

more than that you start getting tired

from walking so when you come back then

you start by sending loving and kind

thoughts to yourself after 10 minutes

then you stay with your spiritual friend

while you're taking a shower stayed with

your spiritual friend smile while you're

going to the toilet smile

stay with your spiritual friend which

then happiness all the time doesn't

matter what you're doing now this is a

noble silence retreat which means I

really don't want you to talk if you

talk to somebody else

you're disturbing their meditation

you're disturbing your own meditation

and their progress is going to be lousy

please don't do that

the only person that is legal to talk to

is either me or to Bailey okay so please

don't compare notes don't tell somebody

I had a really good city that's your

business it's not anybody else's

business

don't

Oh before you go to sleep at night

there's two things I want you to do one

is I want you to make a determination

what time you're going to wake up in the

morning and try to wake up at exactly

that time but don't make it at the same

time every morning don't you say I'm

gonna get up at five o'clock make it 459

sometimes make it 501 sometimes change

it around try to hit that as close as

you can that will help your meditation

in the future this is not an easy

practice so it takes a while to get used

to that also I want you to make a

determination that when you wake up in

the morning you're going to wake up

smiling and happy and keep it going

so more smile it's more happy late night

yeah

after a couple of days of doing the

practice you might wake up in the middle

of the night instead of rolling over and

going back to sleep try sitting in the

bed sometimes you can do that sometimes

you can't and that's okay either way but

if you if you can do it it's really good

quiet time from about 2:00 in the

morning till about a 5 it's sanctity

very quiet so you can have some really

good meditation at that time but if your

mind that says no I'm going to go back

to sleep well okay go back to sleep

that's up to you

it's all being a suggestion okay I'll

make sure you get enough rest during the

day so you're not gonna walk around

sleepy old okay

just pasta constraints but yeah you have

any questions

must have been a great day and I

probably generate loving-kindness for

myself

I guess because I used to expect other

people to shower kindness

tell you one of the things that is said

suit doesn't is really there

if you don't ask questions I don't have

that kind of I was with my teacher for

two years every day and I asked him 20

or 25 questions a day

and he told me he said you know it says

in suit that if you ask the teacher a

lot of the questions that you're going

to be reborn smarter than Einstein don't

be shy to ask questions

the spirit of grip he said that to

maintain mindfulness maybe like the

statement mastery but for those who are

ratings his directions do those during

okay

[Music]

one of the reasons that I explain

physical pain where does it start

you're doing mental development and you

give in and you have to move who doesn't

like it

who is causing themselves distress more

about this center of the chest because

that of course can generate

loving-kindness but I need to be in the

center of the chest young animal in your

arms and you had a connection and this

is it so I want to look as ancient it's

not a mental connection

it's a physical connection so

[Music]

you smile more ELC

and the more you smile the easier it

gets

and it's amazing how who's miles I'm

seeing

but when you smile look at what it does

to your mind your mind feels uplifted

light that's the kind of man you want to

develop okay

that's up to you remember you're

teaching yourself the meditation you are

your own teacher I'm not your teacher I

am just a guide I'm gonna make sure you

stay on the path if you start to play

around with other meditations that

you've done maybe I can add this to it

or take that away because I don't want

to do that you're gonna make your

meditation progress very slow and I'm

gonna question you why why are you doing

that I've given you precise instructions

just follow those instructions I don't

care what you've done it before if

you've been doing my I did mindfulness

of breathing for twenty years before you

started doing this meditation you know

how long it took me to let go of

mindfulness of reading one day I made up

my mind I'm just gonna stay with the

loving

don't make it into a big deal just stay

with the living Tennessee experiment

with this meditation only and you'll do

get good results I promise it really

does work this way should we just guess

yeah

if it feels like 10 minutes then go with

that

now there might be some time that you

feel like you need this and more loving

kindness to yourself okay okay

anybody else yeah let's say that

spiritual fellow friend somebody that

you haven't seen for like 20 years you

might they provide you still get them

all but should they pick somebody else

difficult question you don't know

whether they're alive or not

that's hardly if you said loving

kindness to someone that's dead it

doesn't go anywhere

they're gonna try to radiate that to

them and you're not gonna feel their

presence at all so that's how you know

whether and it's better to think

somebody that you know personally that

you do respect and you do wish I mother

Teresa was still alive in India there

was a lot of women that they wanted to

read loving kindness to them and they

found it was difficult because they

didn't know where a person that's a

little bit easier if you know the person

personally and you didn't have respect

for

cheers America

they said once be suffering free and the

fierce red fearless be breathing gentle

brief fanmail being inspired made all

these share this merit that we've just

acquired for the acquisition of all

kinds of happiness in beings inhabiting

space and earth neighbors

may they love pretend the Buddhist

dispensation

you

I know it sounds a lot in that I want

you to smile but the more you smile the

easier it is to progress with your

meditation so please smile all smile

with your mind

smile with their eyes even when your

eyes are closed be surprised how much

tension and tightness you hold with your

eyes a little smile on your face and the

smile in your heart would you start

practicing love kindness meditation you

first start by sending loving and

sucks to yourself the first 10 minutes

of every city I want you to read

loving-kindness to yourself you remember

a time when you were happy when that

happy feeling arises it's a nice glowing

warm feeling in the center of your chest

it's like the first time you held a baby

in your arms and you felt that

connection or a puppy once you have that

feeling of rise then you make a wish

four-year-old math might be peaceful

that would come when you make a wish you

want to feel the wit know what it feels

like to be happy that put that feeling

really that they like to yourself you

know what it feels like to be peaceful

and calm then take that feeling and put

it in the center of your heart and brain

defect in yourself while you do this

your mind is going to wander you're

going to start thinking about other

things as soon as you notice that your

mind has gone away from sending loving

and bad thoughts to yourself you

recognize that your mind is distracted

you release the distraction you release

the distraction by not keeping your

attention on it so you see the truth

this distraction has come up just let it

be there by itself

don't keep your attention laughing I

know that there are some forms of

meditation where they telling you that

you have to note it until it goes away

that is not right effort in right after

you let it go relax tension and

tightness in your head think your mind

your brain basically has two lobes in it

and there's a membrane that moves around

your grade and every time you have the

thought every time there's a feeling

everything

sensation your brain expands out against

that membrane that causes tension and

tightness to arise the tension and

tightness is great that's how you

recognize crazy when they rise it's this

tension and tightness in your head in

their mind it's not bacon it's just a

little slight tension so you relax and

let it be when you relax and let it be

you don't notice right after that you

don't have any distracting thoughts your

mind is clear your mind is alert bring

that clear over your mind to something

that's also and that is as soon as you

smile then bring that back object

stay was your object of meditation as

long as you can huh this is what I

called the six artists and you're going

to hear me talk about it so much you're

gonna be tired of Jerry Payne six ours

is right effort according to the old

path this will take you all the way to

our a hot ship

it's real important

now this relaxed step I said it was

crazy and it is but what is crazy

craving is the iodine

mind I like it when there's a pleasant

feeling their eyes they don't like it

when there's a painful feeling that

arises so you allow it to be whatever

feeling that is rises let it be there by

itself and relax

then smile come back to your object of

meditation stay with your object of

meditation as long as you can the first

day of a retreat is generally what I

call the first day mousse because your

mind is still out there thinking about

this or that and you'll have some sloth

and torpor you'll have restlessness your

mind is not going to be very settled at

all but that is the hardest part of the

retreat is the first day so don't get

upset if it's not going the way you want

the first day the second day is much

easier I promise it doesn't matter how

many times your mind is distracted

what matters is what

with a distraction when it arises now if

you have like little tiny thoughts that

are coming in while you're staying with

your object object meditation if it

doesn't pull your attention away ignore

those thoughts and just stay with your

object of meditation stay with wishing

yourself well okay only when your

attention is over way then you use the

six artisan come back

okay now distractions are not your enemy

to fight with they actually are your

teachers they teach you where your hen

ramesses are what is the cause of

hindrance is arising because in the past

you have broken precepts in other words

you have the sage said something that

wasn't true okay now Asia the big thing

is you never tell somebody the truth if

you can

little white lies that a little way lies

still alive

and that causes you to have a guilty

feeling there's a little voice in your

mind that says I shouldn't have done

that I know it's not the right thing to

do and that causes a false belief and a

personal self so every time a hindrance

of rise it's a hold your attention away

from your object

meditation every time that happens it is

because in the past you broke a preset

now I'm gonna have you taking the

precepts every morning not as a right

and ritual I don't want you just

repeating it while you're thinking about

other stuff you take the precepts with a

serious mind and get in the habit of

keeping the precepts and that makes your

meditation that much better okay final

settle down a lot quicker

when a priest went when a entrance of

rises it is telling you it's time to let

go of that guilty feeling and that's

what using the six artists is all about

when you let go of that wrong belief in

a personal self when you relax and then

there's no distraction in your mind you

would have purified your mind right then

and you bring that pure mind to

something wholesome smile one of the

things that is very confusing for a lot

of people that are doing meditation is

the word mindfulness it seemed to catch

on real big in America and all of a

sudden you're hearing about mindfulness

of sexual activity mindfulness what

makes

I went to a conference and gave a talk

had a mindfulness conference and they

talked about it but when I got up and I

started asking them questions now this

was and they're all pretty well

practiced in meditation so I said you

heard about mindfulness what's the

definition of my influence and it got

quiet interesting so I said I'm going to

give you a definition of my influence

that works a hundred percent of the time

mindfulness is remembering to observe

how mind's attention moves from one

thing

another so your mind it's was you're

sending loving unkind thoughts to

yourself and all the sudden you're

thinking about this or that how did that

happen what happened first what happened

after that what happened after that so

mindfulness means closer observation of

what is arising in our mind when you

observe that your mind is pulled away

then you use the six hours and come back

so look forward to your first day being

kind of active then your mind is gonna

be dull and then it's gonna be

overactive then don't take it too

personally it's just your mind going

crazy for a little while

mine does that and that's okay for it to

do that there's one three things that I

want you to do on this retreat one I

want you to smile a lot do I want you to

laugh and I want you to have fun

meditation to do that one of the things

that happens especially if you've done

other retreats and you're told by the

teacher you have to try harder and when

you try harder you have more hindrances

arise because you're putting in too much

effort too much energy and your progress

is really not very good because your

mind starts to get hard so when I tell

you I want you to have fun I really

sincerely meaning have fun with

meditation don't be serious with it play

with it like it's a team okay you start

getting serious what happens well then

you start pushing a little bit and you

try to control a little bit and your

meditation goes down the tubes and you

come and you start complaining to me

like I had something to do with it your

being over serious

you have great deep thoughts well what

do you think repeats so that's why did

they come up just like they're on a tape

deck they come up why because you're

trying to control you're trying to make

your mind be the way you want it to be

you're not backing off you're trying to

push and that means you have a big

attachment I want

the whole point of learning about

craving is the very start of the false

belief and the personal self begins at

craving and I know the the full path

that I know that it says that it's not

until clinging that you really take on

the personal belief but that's not the

start of it the start of it is at

creating I promise you that's great

don't try to do things too fast you

notice that your mind is distracted okay

the list you take things personally

the better your meditation becomes and

this is real important now when you were

in school and you had a class that you

really liked what kind of grade did you

get in that class good grades right why

as it was fun

well life is supposed to be fun

oh no that's not the first noble truth

[Music]

everything in life is suffering no

that's not the first noble truth the

first noble truth is there is suffering

in life yeah that's an old truth but not

everything in life is suffering as a

matter of fact the Buddha said there's a

right way to teach and the wrong way to

teach and the wrong way to teach is

everything in life is suffering the

right way too deep there is cessation of

suffering let's look for the way out

when yours when you're sitting listening

to the

please do not cross your arms this is a

thinking posture it blocks your heart

and you only hear about 60% of what's

being said and also I'll have please

don't cross your legs so after about 10

minutes of sending loving and kind

thoughts to yourself then you pick a

spiritual friend a spiritual friend is

someone of the same sex they are alive

not a member of your family a spiritual

friend is someone that when you think of

them you know have respect for them you

really do leave them well not everybody

is going to be perfect they're gonna

have their own flaws but don't think

about their flaws okay so as soon as you

starts and

to your spiritual friend a lot of people

tried to do visualization of her friend

and a lot of people are not very good at

visualization I'm not good at

visualization sometimes it's there

sometimes it's not sometimes it's cloudy

sometimes it's fuzzy sometimes this is

like the bad reception on the television

that's always little sparkly things

sometimes it's like it's a long way as

always

sometimes it just disappears it doesn't

matter you know who you're sending your

friend your loving kindness to that's

enough of the visualization sometimes

people get real caught up and they

really have to try hard to try to know

I'm having so many problems with

visualizing well

you put it in the wrong kind of effort

it makes it harder it might becomes more

scattered you become frustrated even get

a little bit angry because it's not

going the way you wanted to well stop

demanding that it be that way if you can

visualize you can see them like a

picture in front of you fight but when

it disappears never mind you know who

you're sending it to that's enough

you only want about 5% of your attention

on the visualization anyway about 20% of

your attention on making a wish and

feeling the witch the rest of the time

the 75% of your attention on the feeling

of loving-kindness so you make a wish

feel the wish take your friend put them

right in the middle of that wish and

give them a heart of stay with your

friend as long as you can if thoughts

come up but they don't pull your

attention away ignore if it sucks just

stay with your crap the more sincerely

you wish them happiness

the faster your profit

because in the meditation the more you

smile the better your meditation becomes

they smiling helps your mindfulness to

get stronger it really does work that

way and you'll notice when your

mindfulness is good when your mind here

you start slipping away and your mind

starts getting heavy

well that 6r right then let it go don't

get involved in the story about things

don't make a big deal out of stuff

so one of the things you're going to

notice is sloth and torpor why it is

sloth and torpor of rice sloth and

torpor arises because you're not taking

enough interest in staying with your

spiritual friend what happens is you're

with your spiritual friend and then your

mind starts to hold up just a bit

and think little tiny thoughts of this

and that and before you start getting

dreaming and before your posture starts

to slow and then after that your head

start

yeah I know that one too so sit

straighter than usual a little bit

straighter so it's it almost hurts and

then when your mind starts slumping

you'll catch it more quickly and you'll

be able to straighten up and come back

the biggest problem with sloth and

torpor is your it starts bobbing a

little bit and then you notice it and

then you try to sit up really fast and

you say okay now I'm really gonna stay

with my take an interest in how the

process works that's real important so

try to see every little part of sloth

and torpor or every little part of

having a scattered mind what happens

first take an interest and smile into it

have fun with it

you don't get over serious I have done a

lot of meditation I've done a lot of

retreats with a lot of different people

and it's always amazed me that when I

walk in

people are doing meditation there's a

lot of problems absolutely trying hard

and what if what happens to my mind now

is my mind goes boy I don't want to be

here anymore I want someplace else

because everybody's trying so hard and

that's a true hindrance to your practice

when you see that you're starting to get

a headache it's because you're trying to

our back off don't try so hard

kind of laugh with yourself because

you're trying to control and that's

really ridiculous to try to control the

feeling right you don't ask feelings to

come up you don't say you don't haven't

had a feeling that a pain in my back in

a long time I might as well

now it comes up because conditions are

right for it to arise what you do with

what arises in the present dictates what

happens in the future if you fight with

what happens in the present if you try

to control it it can be the way you want

it to be that's a cause of suffering and

you are causing your own suffering

you can't blame anybody else for your

suffering you are doing it to yourself

you're trying to control you're trying

to make it be the way you want it to be

doesn't work like guarantee or you can

use the six hours and say okay that

feeling is there so what it's only

feeling happiness first okay so it's

painful so it's not yours anyway

why fight with it why trying to control

it allow it to be there by itself now

there is a difference between real pain

and meditation thing real pain is let's

say you have a pain in your back and you

always have a pain

in your back so you sit for a little

while and it starts hurting and then you

can get up and you start walking and the

pain doesn't go away that's real pain I

want you to sit in a posture that is

more comfortable sometimes you need to

have a pillow that you can put in the

small of your back and that's enough

that will help it so that it doesn't

cause you a lot of pain

sometimes if you pick one foot up a

little bit higher than the other put a

pillow underneath sometimes that

straightens things out enough so you

don't have pain it's okay to experiment

with that I want you to sit as long as

you can without having serious pain

meditation pain it's just as painful

sometimes even more so but when you get

up and you start walking that pain goes

away in a minute or two oh that's a

meditation pain that should sit through

that don't give in to it

but look at what your mind does with the

paint I don't like it

I want to stop I want it to go away

every thought about the pain makes the

pain bigger and more intense and it

turns into an emergency and you can stab

it anymore

who doesn't like it

who was it to go away

who wants to control it

anytime you make a big deal out of

anything I don't care whether it's a

physical pain or mental pain you make a

big deal out of it in your mind it's

gonna stay for a long time and cause you

all kinds of problems then you have and

it's kind of an interesting thought then

I think I'll stick with this one for a

little while

oops

[Music]

what if it's such an interesting thought

mentally put a red flag on it and say

after the retreat we'll have that

thought come back don't pay attention to

it right now don't make a big deal out

of any kind of or feeling that arises

it's just causing your mind to get

scattered and you'll hear a lot more

about that tomorrow so I want you to

start by sitting no less than a half an

hour now there are some people that have

been doing meditation with me for a

while I don't want you sending

loving-kindness to the spiritual friend

I want you to do the six directions and

you know what I mean by that start with

loving babies but everybody else stay

with the same spiritual friend until

they tell you to change now I'm not

going to be giving interviews tomorrow

you need that they practice before we

have something to talk about the day

after tomorrow I'll start seeing

everybody every day when you're sitting

is good sit longer this is a natural

process and there's gonna be some times

that you remember your meditation it's

got to be a real good and you'll just

stay with it just because you hear a

bell for breakfast doesn't mean you have

to rape your city when you're sitting is

good

stay with the city make sure you get

enough

don't worry about and the same with much

if you're sitting is really good don't

break your sitting just because of food

the precepts that I give you have David

given to you is not eating solid food

after the noonday meal the Mende meal

for me is 11 o'clock but it's not the

same for you the midday meal might be

12:30 or 1:00 o'clock if you're sitting

is good stayed with the city until it's

time to break and then you can come and

get some food okay know when you get up

from your city I want you to do your

walking meditation and that means

staying with your spiritual friend while

you're walking

don't walk slowly you're walking for

exercise you're walking the stretch out

of your muscles in your legs as your

be used in sitting for as long as you

look so while you're walking keep your

eyes down if you're looking around and

there goes your mind and then you're

thinking about something else but your

mind is going to do that at first anyway

because you're not used to doing a

walking meditation your mind gets

distracted fine don't get angry with

yourself

don't pull pull your mind around and say

no it's got to stay here be gentle be

kind to yourself just notice that your

mind is thinking about something else

six are back stay with your friend as

long as you get doesn't matter how many

times your mind distracts what matters

is what you do with the distraction so

you use the six hours

and that helps you a lot okay

walk for 15-20 minutes if your walking

is good walk longer up to 45 minutes any

more than that you start getting tired

from walking so when you come back then

you start by sending loving and kind

thoughts to yourself after 10 minutes

then you stay with your spiritual friend

while you're taking a shower stayed with

your spiritual friend smile while you're

going to the toilet smile

stay with your spiritual friend which

then happiness all the time doesn't

matter what you're doing now this is a

noble silence retreat which means I

really don't want you to talk if you

talk to somebody else

you're disturbing their meditation

you're disturbing your own meditation

and their progress is going to be lousy

please don't do that

the only person that is legal to talk to

is either me or to Bailey okay so please

don't compare notes don't tell somebody

I had a really good city that's your

business it's not anybody else's

business

don't

Oh before you go to sleep at night

there's two things I want you to do one

is I want you to make a determination

what time you're going to wake up in the

morning and try to wake up at exactly

that time but don't make it at the same

time every morning don't you say I'm

gonna get up at five o'clock make it 459

sometimes make it 501 sometimes change

it around try to hit that as close as

you can that will help your meditation

in the future this is not an easy

practice so it takes a while to get used

to that also I want you to make a

determination that when you wake up in

the morning you're going to wake up

smiling and happy and keep it going

so more smile it's more happy late night

yeah

after a couple of days of doing the

practice you might wake up in the middle

of the night instead of rolling over and

going back to sleep try sitting in the

bed sometimes you can do that sometimes

you can't and that's okay either way but

if you if you can do it it's really good

quiet time from about 2:00 in the

morning till about a 5 it's sanctity

very quiet so you can have some really

good meditation at that time but if your

mind that says no I'm going to go back

to sleep well okay go back to sleep

that's up to you

it's all being a suggestion okay I'll

make sure you get enough rest during the

day so you're not gonna walk around

sleepy old okay

just pasta constraints but yeah you have

any questions

must have been a great day and I

probably generate loving-kindness for

myself

I guess because I used to expect other

people to shower kindness

tell you one of the things that is said

suit doesn't is really there

if you don't ask questions I don't have

that kind of I was with my teacher for

two years every day and I asked him 20

or 25 questions a day

and he told me he said you know it says

in suit that if you ask the teacher a

lot of the questions that you're going

to be reborn smarter than Einstein don't

be shy to ask questions

the spirit of grip he said that to

maintain mindfulness maybe like the

statement mastery but for those who are

ratings his directions do those during

okay

[Music]

one of the reasons that I explain

physical pain where does it start

you're doing mental development and you

give in and you have to move who doesn't

like it

who is causing themselves distress more

about this center of the chest because

that of course can generate

loving-kindness but I need to be in the

center of the chest young animal in your

arms and you had a connection and this

is it so I want to look as ancient it's

not a mental connection

it's a physical connection so

[Music]

you smile more ELC

and the more you smile the easier it

gets

and it's amazing how who's miles I'm

seeing

but when you smile look at what it does

to your mind your mind feels uplifted

light that's the kind of man you want to

develop okay

that's up to you remember you're

teaching yourself the meditation you are

your own teacher I'm not your teacher I

am just a guide I'm gonna make sure you

stay on the path if you start to play

around with other meditations that

you've done maybe I can add this to it

or take that away because I don't want

to do that you're gonna make your

meditation progress very slow and I'm

gonna question you why why are you doing

that I've given you precise instructions

just follow those instructions I don't

care what you've done it before if

you've been doing my I did mindfulness

of breathing for twenty years before you

started doing this meditation you know

how long it took me to let go of

mindfulness of reading one day I made up

my mind I'm just gonna stay with the

loving

don't make it into a big deal just stay

with the living Tennessee experiment

with this meditation only and you'll do

get good results I promise it really

does work this way should we just guess

yeah

if it feels like 10 minutes then go with

that

now there might be some time that you

feel like you need this and more loving

kindness to yourself okay okay

anybody else yeah let's say that

spiritual fellow friend somebody that

you haven't seen for like 20 years you

might they provide you still get them

all but should they pick somebody else

difficult question you don't know

whether they're alive or not

that's hardly if you said loving

kindness to someone that's dead it

doesn't go anywhere

they're gonna try to radiate that to

them and you're not gonna feel their

presence at all so that's how you know

whether and it's better to think

somebody that you know personally that

you do respect and you do wish I mother

Teresa was still alive in India there

was a lot of women that they wanted to

read loving kindness to them and they

found it was difficult because they

didn't know where a person that's a

little bit easier if you know the person

personally and you didn't have respect

for

cheers America

they said once be suffering free and the

fierce red fearless be breathing gentle

brief fanmail being inspired made all

these share this merit that we've just

acquired for the acquisition of all

kinds of happiness in beings inhabiting

space and earth neighbors

may they love pretend the Buddhist

dispensation

you