From: https://youtube.com/watch?v=NVtSZ1136v0

Context: Throughout this transcript, Bhante Vimalaramsi is the speaker unless otherwise indicated.

okay okay this is the simile of the saw

thus if I heard on one occasion the

blessed one was living at Swati in

jeta's grove anathapindika's park now on

that occasion a venerable Malia pogona

was associating over much with

bhikkhunis he was associating so much

with the bhikkhunis that if any monks

poked dispraise of these Baku knees in

his presence he would become angry and

displeased and would make a case of it

and if any monk spoke dispraise of the

venerable Malia pogona in those prayer

those bhikkhunis presence they would

become angry and displeased and make a

case of it so much was the venerable

Malia pagina associating with the Baku

knees then a certain monk went to the

Blessed One after paying homage to him

he sat down at one side and told the

Blessed One what is taking place then

the blessed one addressed a certain monk

less come monk tell the MA

Malia pogona and my my name that the

teacher calls him yes venerable sir he

replied he went to the venerable Malia

pagina and told him the teacher calls

you Fred but friend pogona yes friend he

replied he went to them the Blessed One

after paying homage to him sat down at

one side the Blessed one asked him

pagina is it true that you're

associating overmuch with

Cooney's that yours you are that you are

associating so much with the become Me's

that if any monk speaks this praise of

those bhikkhunis in your presence you

become angry and displeased and make a

case of it and if any monk speaks this

praise of you in the bhikkhunis presence

they become angry and displeased and

make a case of it are you associating so

much with the bhikkhunis as it seems

yes venerable sir but guna are you not a

Klansman that's gone forth out of phase

from the home life into homelessness

yes venerable sir but guna is it not

proper it is not proper for you a

Klansman gone forth out of faith from

the home life into homelessness to

associate over much with bhikkhunis

therefore if anyone speaks to spread

this praise of those bhikkhunis in your

presence you should abandon any desire

and any thought based on the household

life in other words give up getting

angry at him therein you should train my

mind will be unaffected and I shall

utter no evil words I shall abide

compassionate for his welfare with a

mind of loving-kindness without inner

hate that is how you should train pogona

now you can change that loving-kindness

to forgiveness loving kindness is very

big wide topic forgiveness is a part of

loving-kindness

if anyone says those monks if any if

anyone gives those bhikkhunis a blow

with the hand with applaud with a stick

or with a knife in your presence you

should abandon any desire and any

thought based on the household life and

their and you should train thus my mind

will be unaffected and I shall let her

know evil words I shall abide

compassionate for for their welfare with

a mind of loving kindness without inner

hate that is how you should train if

anyone speaks this praise in your

presence and you should abandon any diss

desires and any thoughts based on the

household life and herein you should

train thus my mind will be unaffected

and I shall let her know evil words I

shall abide compassionate for his

welfare with the mind of loving kindness

without enter eight if anyone should

give you a blow with his hand with a

clod with a stick or with a knife you

should abandon any desires any thoughts

based on the household life therein you

should train thus my mind will be

unaffected and I shall let her know evil

words I shall abide compassionate for

their welfare with a mind of loving

kindness without inner eight

that is how you should train then a

blessed one addressed amongst us monks

there was an occasion when the monks

satisfied my mind here I address the

monks thus monks I eat at a single

session by doing so I'm free from

illness and affliction I enjoy lightness

strength and a comfortable abiding come

monks eat at a single session by doing

so you will be free from illness and

affliction and you will enter light and

enjoy lightness strength and a

comfortable abiding and that's just

about the opposite of what most people

think oh I'll lose weight if I cut down

on if I don't even eat an evening meal

or morning you know but coming here from

Asia I gained weight because the the

kinds of oils that's being used with the

different foods and I only so and when

you start to feel a cold coming on you

should stop eating altogether and just

take rest take your vitamins and lay

down and take rest

drink a lot of water

now I had an example there was this lady

that was letting me stay at her family

house and she had this cold that had

lasted for a month and just being in

proximity of her I started to catch the

cold but I was I left and I went to from

st. Louis to Washington DC on the bus so

I couldn't lay down and take rest and I

caught the cold pretty good and as soon

as I got to Washington DC I told the

head monk don't look for me for a while

I'm just gonna be taking it easy because

I have this cold and it seems to be

pretty bad well after three days of not

eating and taking rest and taking the

vitamins I was over it

and it took her six weeks to get over it

so not eating is a good thing when

you're sick because the the enzymes from

your pancreas that go generally go into

your stomach to digest food now it

starts spreading out through your body

and it starts attacking any illness that

you have so there is some scientific

method in doing it this way so eating

eating just one meal a day is actually

probably the healthiest thing you can do

for your body on a long-term basis but

when if you're gonna do that you need to

do that knowing what food is and how it

affects you you need to eat hard food

and soft food hard food is stuff that

takes a while to digest nuts sticky rice

beans that takes a while to digest so

it's you don't get hungry in the evening

and I had no need to keep on instructing

those monks I only had to arouse

mindfulness in them suppose there was a

chariot on even ground at a crossroads

harnessed with thoroughbreds waiting

with a goad lighting ready so that a

skilled trainer or a charioteer of

horses to be tamed might mountain and

taking the reins in his left hand and

the goat in his right hand might drive

out and back by any road whatever

wherever he likes so - I had no need to

keep instructing these monks I only had

to arouse mindfulness in them

therefore monks abandon what is

unwholesome devote yourself to wholesome

States what does that mean

Bandon yourself to what's unwholesome

what is unwholesome anything that you

take personally this is me this is mine

this is who I am is unwholesome why

because it says craving in it it's

really easy to get caught up in

emotional upsets because of old habitual

tendencies I had a student in Seattle

that she got what do you call that

she got panic attack yeah and every time

she got a panic attack before I started

teaching her she had to run away and get

away from people and hide in a room with

her the drapes closed for three days

before she could start feeling like she

could come out again but I taught her

about this kind of meditation and we

went to I went to a place and I was

giving a talk and she was kind of

sitting in the middle of the audience

and she started to feel a panic attack

coming on and she started breaking out

in a sweat and she was really getting

tense and tight and then she thought you

know if what this monk

is telling me works then I should be

able just to use the six R's and I

should be able to be able to let it go

pretty quickly it will took her two

minutes of just using the six hours and

relaxing into it not getting involved in

all of those old habitual tendencies

those old thoughts and ways of trying to

hand handle it

now she knew she found out a new way to

handle it and she could let go of it in

two minutes

and after a little bit of training she

was able to not have panic attacks

anymore so this stuff does work but you

have to be very persistent with the

practice after you get better at it what

you practice you get better at and then

there's a real personality change that

starts to occur so letting go of your

old ways of reacting like you always act

when this kind of feeling comes up and

letting go of that old way of doing it

and developing your mind with a new

habit of seeing that coming and relax

into it and let it be but that's only

half of it you have to bring up

something wholesome afterwards and

that's what smiling is all about

that is a wholesome state the more you

smile the better your mindfulness

becomes as you heard me say this

afternoon so this is what what the

Buddha's teaching is about letting go of

the unwholesome in developing the

wholesome for this will be to your

growth increase and fulfillment in this

dhamma and discipline suppose there is a

big salad tree Grove near a village or

town and it was choked with castor oil

weeds and some men would appear desiring

is good and welfare and protection he

would cut down and throw out the crooked

saplings that robbed sap he would clean

up the interior of the Grove and tend

the straight well-formed saplings so

that the salah' tree Grove later would

come to growth increase and fulfillment

so to abandon unhealthy what is

unwholesome and devote your mind to

what's wholesome States for that will

lead to your growth increase and

fulfillment in this dhamma and

discipline formerly in this same

Sawatdee there was a housewife named

Vedika and a good report of mistress

Vedika had spread thus mistress Vedika

is gentle mistress Vedika is meek she is

peaceful now mistress Vedika had a maid

named kali

who was clever and nimble and neat in

her work the maid thought a good report

of my lady has spread thus mistress

Vedika is gentle

she's meek she's peaceful how is it now

well she does not show anger and as

nevertheless actually present in her or

is it absent or else is it just because

my work is neat that my lady shows anger

though it's actually present in her

suppose I test my lady and the maid Kali

got up late then mistress Vedika said eh

Kali what is it madam what's the matter

that you get up so late nothing is the

matter madam nothing is the matter you

wicked girl yet you get up so late and

she was angry and displeased and scowled

then the maid Kali thought the fact is

that while my lady does not show anger

it's actually present in her not absent

and that's just because my work is neat

that my lady shows no anger though it's

actually present in her not absent

suppose I test my lady a little more so

the maid Kali got up later in the day

then mistress Radhika said hey Kali what

is it madam what is the matter that you

get up later in the day nothing as a

matter madam nothing is a matter you

wicked girl yet you get up still later

in the day and she was angry and

displeased and spoke words of this

leisure then the lady then the maid Cali

thought the fact is while my lady does

not show anger it's actually present in

her not absent and it's just because my

work is neat and my that my lady shows

no anger though it's actually present in

her suppose I test my lady a little more

so Cali got up still later in the day

then mistress Vedika said hate Cali what

is it madam

what's the matter that you get up still

later in the day nothing is the matter

madam nothing is a matter you wicked

girl yet you still get up later in the

day and she was angry and displeased and

she took a rolling pin and hit her with

a gave her a blow in the head and cut

her head then the maid Kali with blood

running down her head from her from the

cut denounced her mistress to the

neighbours see ladies the gentle ladies

work say lady the meek ladies work see

ladies the peaceful ladies work how can

she become angry and displeased with her

only made for getting up late how can

she take a rolling pin and give her a

blow on the head and cut her head then

later a bad report of mr. mistress

Vedika spread this mistress radhika is

rough she's violent

she's merciless so two monks some monk

is extremely gentle extremely meek

extremely peaceful so long as

disagreeable courses of speech do not

touch him

but it is when disagreeable courses of

speech touch him that it can be

understood whether that monk is really

kind gentle and peaceful I do not call a

monk easy to admonish who is easy to

admonish and makes himself easy to

admonish for the sake of getting ropes

arms food resting place and medicines

why is that because that monk is not

easy to admonish nor makes himself easy

to admonish when he gets no robes arms

food resting place or medicinal

requisites those are the four things

that monks have to have they cut out cut

out a whole lot of other stuff but they

have to have food have to have clothing

have to have a place to stay and

medicines for when you're sick but when

a monk is easy to admonish and makes

himself easy to admonish because he

honors respects and Revere's the Dhamma

him I call easy to admonish there are

four monks you should train thus we

shall be easy to admonish and make

ourselves easy to admonish because we

honor respect and revere the Dhamma that

is how you should train monks monks

there are these five courses of speech

that others may use when they address

you their speech may be timely or

untimely true or untrue gentle or harsh

connected with good or with harm spoken

with a mind of loving-kindness or with

inner eight when others address you

their speech may be too

or untimely when others address you

their speech may be true or untrue when

others address you their speech may be

gentle or harsh when others address you

their speech may be connected with good

or with harm when others address you

their speech may be spoken with a mind

of loving-kindness or with inner eight

here in Moncks you should train thus our

minds will remain unaffected and we

shall utter no evil words we shall abide

compassionate for their welfare with a

mind of loving-kindness without inner

hate we shall abide pervading that

person with a mind and Bude with

loving-kindness and starting with him we

shall abide pervading the

all-encompassing world with a mine and

mewed with loving-kindness abundant

exalted immeasurable without hostility

and without ill-will that is how you

should train so what are we saying here

it doesn't matter what somebody else

says or how they say it it doesn't

matter whether it's a lie or the truth

your job is to radiate loving-kindness

to that person and use that person as

the reminder to start radiating

loving-kindness to all all beings in all

the directions and keep that with you as

much as you can

what somebody else says it can be very

much their opinion that doesn't have

anything to do with you

it's just sometimes people get emotional

and they say things you don't have to

take it personally if you do then what

happens in your mind gets tight gets

tense somebody comes up to you and they

stay they come at you with anger what's

your first reaction get angry yourself

and then throw that anger back at them

and then you start arguing and they're

talking and you're talking at the same

time you don't hear what they say they

don't hear what you say eventually they

go off and go away what do you think

about what they said what you said what

you should have said and I'm right they

shouldn't become at me that way and

they're wrong and then you have the same

kind of the same thought running over

again just like it was on a tape deck

who has an attachment who didn't like

that situation who is making a big deal

out of something that's not who is

causing themself pain

so the whole point of this suta is to

get you to see how you can practice

loving-kindness and compassion

even with people that come at you with

their anger it doesn't matter what they

say absolutely does not that's their

opinion that's their ideas they can have

their opinion they can have their ideas

but what you do with what arises in the

present moment dictates what happens in

the future for you so somebody comes up

and they start giving you a hard time

for whatever reason at all use them as

your object of meditation and start

radiating loving-kindness to them so

fastest way I know of to make anger calm

down and it works it really does work

sometimes some people can come here and

they don't really like each other and

they start getting angry with each other

then they come running down to me and at

my cabin and start yelling at each other

while they're in the cabin so what do I

do

I don't get in the middle of it I'm not

that dumb I start radiating

loving-kindness because I see that both

of them are worked up and they're really

emotional and they're saying things that

can be hurtful to each other so I start

radiating loving-kindness

after just a short period of time they

start talking instead of yelling from

emotion and then they find out that it's

really not that much of a problem it was

just an emotional upset and I keep

radiating loving-kindness to them and

before long they start laughing and then

they say you know I've got a lot to do

thanks buddy I'll see you later

and I haven't said a word now what

happens when you get into an emotional

fight of some sort and you have repeat

thoughts and then you see somebody else

what do you talk about

you talk about what a turkey that other

person is and they got angry at you and

you had a fight with them and then you

start into your gossip which is empty

words that aren't necessarily true it's

just an expression if you get a chance

go down and visit the turkey he's great

fun to talk with it really is but when

you see somebody that's building

themself up to get angry and they might

start out by saying angry words to you

look at their body and look at their

body language and you can see that

they're suffering because you know what

it like feels like to be angry you can

see that they're suffering so have

compassion for them and start radiating

loving-kindness to them and they'll

simmer down very quickly and then you

can discuss what the problem really was

and when you leave then you your mind is

clear

you're not thinking and rethinking and

rethinking

that same statement or set of statements

so the next person you see you could be

giving them loving-kindness but quite

often you see people that get angry and

they're driving a car that's really

scary because they're not driving

they're thinking and they're not paying

attention at all and that's how probably

90% of the accidents happen because

they're thinking about something else

and not paying attention to what they're

doing while they're doing it

so it's a real important aspect of the

Buddha's teaching and if you can get in

the habit of everyone that you talked to

you start radiating loving-kindness to

them

while you're talking then your mind is

going to have a lot more peace and calm

in it

your mind is going to be become much

softer and it gets to be fun I mean you

wind up laughing with people not

laughing at people but laughing with

people or animals and your your mind is

uplifted so this is a real important

thing one of the complaints I've heard

about people say about Buddhism it's

it's it's only meditation is only about

sitting

and that happened because of a lot of

the Zen monks that first came to this

country that was their practice was just

sitting in meditation but I wrote a book

that says meditation is life life is

meditation

and in the book I'm trying to get you to

realize that you have to carry your

meditation with you all the time if you

want personality development how do you

affect the world around you when you

have anger you've affect the world

around you negatively when you have

loving-kindness in your mind you affect

the world around you positively and

there's this place in California and

Boulder Creek called

Hart and they have machines that they

think they could measure loving-kindness

and they say when you really get good at

loving kindness it goes out for 500 feet

all around you and I don't believe that

that's very limiting and I say that

because of my direct experience my

teacher I was in Thailand at the time I

heard that he had had a stroke and he

was in the hospital and as soon as I

heard that I started radiating

loving-kindness to him and I did it for

a period of time he got out of the

hospital he wrote in a letter to me

which

never did before thanking me for sending

him so much loving-kindness how did he

know I didn't tell him how did you know

so you can affect the whole world around

you when your radiates loving-kindness

and don't let your mind get caught up in

emotional nonsense and you're gonna

forget and you're gonna get caught but

you can't criticize yourself because you

make a mistake can't criticize yourself

you have to forgive yourself and then

start over again if you criticize

yourself you're practicing having an

unwholesome mind we all have the same

expectation we all have the expectation

of being perfect at whatever we do and

you're not going to be that's the truth

you're going to forget sometimes and

you're going to get caught but as soon

as you you see that you're causing

yourself pain then six are smile laugh

at yourself for being dumb and continue

monks suppose a man came with a hole in

a basket and said I shall make this

great earth be without earth it would

dig here and there he was true Hoyle

here in there he would spit here in

there he would urinate here and there

saying be without earth be without earth

what do you think monks could that man

make this great earth be without earth

no venerable sir why is that because

this great earth is deep and

immeasurable and it's not easy to make

it without earth eventually the man

would reap only weariness and

disappointment so two monks there are

these five courses of speech that others

may use when they address you their

speech may be timely or untimely true or

untrue gentle or harsh connected with

good or with harm spoken with a mind of

loving-kindness or with inner hate when

others address you their speech may be

timely or untimely when others address

you their speech may be true or untrue

when others address you their speech may

be gentle or harsh when others address

you their speech may be connected with

good or with arm when others address you

their speech may be spoken with the mind

of loving-kindness or with inner eight

herein you should train thus our minds

will remain unaffected and we shall

utter no evil words we shall abide

compassionate for their welfare with a

mind of loving kindness without inner

hate we shall abide pervading that

person with a mind and Bude with loving

kindness and starting with him we shall

abide pervading the all-encompassing

world with a mind and viewed with

loving-kindness abundant exalted

immeasurable without hostility and

without ill-will that is how you should

dream monks suppose a man came with

tumeric crimson indigo or Carmen and

said I shall draw pictures and make

pictures appear on empty space what do

you think monks could that man draw

pictures and make pictures appear on

empty space no venerable sir why is that

because space is formless and non

manifested it's not easy to draw

pictures that there or make pictures

appear there eventually that man man

would reap only weariness and

disappointment so two monks there are

these five chords of five courses of

speech

that others may use when they address

you their speech speech may be timely or

untimely true or untrue

gentle or harsh connected with good or

with harm spoken with a mind of

loving-kindness or with inner hate when

others address you their speech may be

timely or untimely when others address

you their speech may be true or untrue

when others address you their speech may

be gentle or harsh when others address

you their speech may be connected with

good or with harm when others address

you their speech may be spoken with a

mind of loving-kindness or with inner 8

herein you should train thus our minds

will remain unaffected and we shall

utter no evil words we shall abide

compassionate for their welfare with a

mind of loving-kindness without inner

hate we shall abide pervading that

person with a mind imbued with

loving-kindness and starting with him we

shall abide pervading the

all-encompassing world with a mind that

is abundant exalted immeasurable without

hostility and without ill-will that is

how you should dream monks even if

bandits were to sever you savagely limb

by limb was a two-handed saw he who gave

rise to a mind of hate towards them

would not be carrying out my teaching

here in monks you should train thus our

minds will remain unaffected and we

shall utter no evil were

we shall abide compassionate for their

welfare with a mind of loving-kindness

without inner hate we shall abide

pervading them with a mind and mute with

loving-kindness and starting with them

we shall abide pervading the

all-encompassing world with a mind and

viewed with loving-kindness

abundant exalted immeasurable without

hostility and without a will that is how

you should train so this suit - right

here tells you again that you have to

carry this with you all the time this is

an all the time practice as much as you

can remember if you keep this advice on

the simile of the saw constantly in mind

do you see any course of speech trivial

or gross that you could not endure no

venerable sir therefore monks you should

keep this advice on an assembly of this

constantly in mind that will lead to

your welfare and happiness for a long

time that's what the Blessed One said

the monks were satisfied and delighted

in the Blessed ones words

so it sounds like an easy practice but

it's hard because you have to remember

to do it and when you're practicing

forgiveness you have to keep the

forgiveness as close to you as your skin

always be forgiving forgiving yourself

for making mistakes for not

understanding

we're probably our own worst enemies

because we get caught up and the ideas

that we're supposed to know and

understand and we forget but you can't

criticize yourself if you forget that's

unwholesome you have to forgive yourself

for making a mistake

mistakes are not bad as long as you only

do one learn from your mistake okay

I blew it

that's fine you can do that but don't

keep doing the same mistake over and

over again learn from your mistake come

back and sincerely keep your practice

going

that's how there's personality

development that's how you let go of all

kinds of problems

well you're made up of five things right

the psychophysical process is five

things you have a physical body you have

feeling feeling as pleasant painful

neither painful nor Pleasant you have

perception that's the part of the mind

that names things Pleasant feeling

arises perception says that's Pleasant

painful feeling arises perception says

that's painful you have thoughts you

have consciousness now

one of the biggest mistakes that we make

and it's happened from time immemorial

is when we have a painful thing it

doesn't matter whether it's physical or

mental you treat them both in the same

way when you have a painful thing arise

what we wind up doing is trying to think

the pain away we're trying to control

control the pain with our thoughts and

that makes the pain bigger and more

intense so what actually can be not that

big a deal in your mind because you're

trying to control it I don't like this

feeling I don't want it there it I wish

it would stop then you become frustrated

and you get more angry and you really

started building this up into this huge

mountain that you don't know how to

overcome you can't go around it you

can't get over it you can't get under it

so what to do use the six R's and this

big problem turns into a little bump but

we have a tendency to build these things

up by overthinking them and trying to

control our feeling with our thoughts

and that doesn't work so let go of that

relax into it smile

come back to your object to meditation

stay with your object to meditation and

it doesn't matter how many times you do

it so you might have to be bouncing back

and forth for a little while because as

this attachment is so big and that's

okay don't put any of your expectations

on when it's supposed to happen because

it's not going to happen when you want

it to it'll happen when it's right to

let go of serious thoughts

and have fun I know you're not gonna

hear many meditation teachers tell you

that you're supposed to have fun in life

because life is suffering you know well

it can be or not it's your choice what

you do with it the more you have fun

with your meditation the easier the

meditation becomes the faster your

progress becomes it really does work

okay so I've been talking for awhile I'm

almost afraid to ask because it'll get

so deafeningly quiet does anybody have a

question yes

yourself they'll come up on their own

you don't have to ask them to come up

and you stay with them until you feel

like yeah I really do I really do

forgive that person and there's no time

limits on it yeah just all wait in line

you'll get your turn yeah yeah just one

person at a time yeah

with when yeah when it's needed yes of

course I thought I did that in the

instructions didn't they know you're not

using the six artists to forgive your

you you use the six ours when your mind

gets distracted and caught up in a story

and then you come back to the

forgiveness putting it in your heart but

in that person with it in your heart and

forgiving them it sounds a lot easier

than it actually can be because they do

the attachment the reason they come up

is because you had some problems and

your mind because of that attachment is

going to say no I don't want to forgive

this person so you just six are that and

go back and do it again

and you might have to verbalize it a lot

in your mind forgive that person a lot

before your mind actually is ready to

say okay I'm tired of doing this I don't

want to do it anymore let's just forgive

him all the way yeah

well there are some people that come up

in your mind that they really caused you

a big problem and it is hard to I mean

you can put yourself with them you

didn't cause the problem they did so you

forgive them for that because of that

attachment and the attachment to it is I

I don't like that I I don't like what

they did I'm angry with what they did

iiiiii and you have to let go of that

you did it for two weeks I did it for

two years no

and I did wasn't that I had any big true

enemies that I really hated but there

was a lot of little stuff that I was

trying to clear out just to see what

would happen and I got to a place in my

mind said okay you don't need to forgive

anymore and I'm starting to think oh

I've done so much other stuff I have to

forgive all this stuff and my mind said

no if you want to keep going keep going

I don't care but you can stop now okay

I'll do that

but the reason that I wanted to do that

was so that I could see every little

aspect in me so I could recognize it

when other people have that sort of

thing so it makes it easier for me to

communicate how to forgive okay anything

else okay let's hear some merit then

main suffering ones be suffering free

and the fear struck fearless be may the

grieving shed all grief and may all

beings find relief may all being shared

this merit that we've the squire for the

acquisition of all kinds of happiness

may beings inhabiting space and earth

Ava's and Nagas of mighty power share

this merit of ours may they long protect

the Buddha's dispensations